Zelda IV: Isle Of Dreams
by Magus523
Summary: Shipwrecked on his adventures, Link finds himself trapped on an island where reality is shaped according to the will of its rulers, with no hope of escape. Novelization.
1. Prologue

_**Prologue **_

The legends of the land of Hyrule state that the world began when three goddesses came upon it, new and chaotic. Through their combined efforts, they were able to mold the fledgling land into the world of today. Din, Goddess of Power, stabilized the chaotic planet and laid down the foundation of the earth itself. Nayru, Goddess of Wisdom, brought further order to the world, setting law and logic into place. And Farore, Goddess of Courage, then created life, giving shape and form to all things that live upon Hyrule.

The three Goddesses looked upon their work, and were satisfied, and so they departed Hyrule. Yet some small portion of them remained. Something that was less than a fraction of the Goddesses' power, and still infinitely more than any mortal could ever hope to possess. This remnant took an equal fragment from its existence from all three Goddesses, and even moreso from their attributes-Power, Wisdom and Courage. This artifact was thus named the Triforce, and as the people of Hyrule grew in knowledge, they became aware of its existence.

Though the Triforce did not have a mind of its own, being merely an object with no soul, it nonetheless yearned for an owner, one who would use its power accordingly for the benefit of mankind. Each aspect of the Triforce had in its core a notion of the perfect being; the Forger of Power, the Keeper of Wisdom and the Juror of Courage. Together, the Triforce sought a mortal who embodied all three, but mortal man did not come.

For the Triforce was not simply lying out for any to find. It had been hidden away in an echo of Hyrule known as the Golden Land, or the Sacred Realm. A world like, and yet not like Hyrule, for it was only a reflection and possessed no separate existence. The gateway to the Golden Land was blocked away by unknown guardians, and for centuries it remained that way, but such things never last forever. And to the dismay of all, it was an evil man who was eventually gained access to the Sacred Realm.

Ganondorf Dragmire, King of the Gerudo Thieves, coveted the Triforce. By manipulating all in the world of Hyrule around him, he was able to access it, and to take the Triforce. Yet the Triforce was displeased, for there was imbalance in Ganondorf's heart. The King of the Gerudo valued power far more than he did courage or wisdom, and thus he could not contain all of the Triforce, but only one of the three aspects. The other two rejected him and fled, now forced to actively seek out appropriate holders of their own volition.

Princess Zelda, daughter of the former King of Hyrule who had been killed by Ganondorf, became the Keeper of Knowledge. A young boy named Link, who had been manipulated by Ganon into opening the way to the Sacred Realm, was chosen as the Juror of Courage. Together, they rose up against Ganondorf and all his power. The people of Hyrule rose with them, and six Sages joined the heroes in their struggle. Rauru of Light. Saria of Forest. Darunia of Fire. Ruto of Water. Impa of Shadow. Nabooru of Spirit. Led by the Seventh Sage, Zelda of Time, the Sages gave Link all of their power and he confronted the man who would rule all of Hyrule.

Though he was now the Forger of Power, Ganondorf was defeated. Yet such was the awesome power in even one-third of the Triforce that Ganondorf could not die. His mortal form was shed, and he was revived, transformed into a beastly monstrosity. From that day, Ganondorf Dragmire was no more, and there was only Ganon. But even at the full height of his power, Ganon was defeated once more. Since his death seemed impossible, after Link had brought him down, the Seven Sages cast Ganon back into the Golden Land and then sealed it once more, stronger than before.

For the rest of their lives, the Seven Sages strengthened the barrier more and more, piling enchantment upon enchantment upon it in the hopes that Ganon would be forever barricaded. Link, the Hero of Time, did his part as well to protect Hyrule once he had gone. Since he was no sorcerer, the mighty warrior instead founded the Knights of Hyrule, an order of men dedicated to upholding order in the land and preparing in case the worst came true someday, and Ganon returned.

Years passed, and the heroes of Hyrule grew old. Link and Zelda were not as foolish as Ganon; they knew their own mortality was only right and proper. And so when their times came, they died in peace instead of using their Triforces to extend their lives as Ganon had. The Triforces of Wisdom and Courage were passed along to their descendants, willingly relinquished by Zelda and Link. The other Sages left children as well, passing on in time. The seasons turned, and Hyrule grew older, and memory of the atrocities of Ganon's rule faded from the minds of men.

Hyrule flourished, the people of the Hylian race most of all, and the Triforce was forgotten save in misty legend. But though they had been forgotten by all but the most studious, the Triforce, and the Golden Land, and Ganon still remained, waiting. And in time, darkness threatened Hyrule once more. Ganon's spirit possessed the descendant of Saria, a wizard named Agahnim, and discovered the secret to shattering the barrier. By sending Agahnim's daughter, and the descendants of the other Sages, into the Sacred Realm, Ganon hoped to open a hole permitting his escape.

By seeming coincidence, the current princess of Hyrule was named Zelda, after her ancestor. Her efforts to stop Agahnim brought her into contact with a young swordsman named Link, and though they were unable to stop Ganon from damaging the barrier, they continued into the Golden Realm itself to rescue the other descendants. In the process, they discovered that they were the reincarnations of their original namesakes, regaining the memories of their past lives, and the knowledge that they still bore the Triforce with them.

Through great effort and many adventures, Link and Zelda were able to do what they had been unable to before; slay Ganon, the Forger of Power. Even then, they knew it was not over. Ganon's soul was still bound to the Triforce of Power, and he had those who served him in Hyrule, who would plot his resurrection. Moreso, the Golden Land no longer contained him, and thus when he returned, the full force of the Forger of Power would be unleashed upon the world.

And so, Link's adventures continued...

* * *

Half of the patrons in the tavern turned their heads as the door slammed open, three men and a woman all strolling in, smiling cockily. All but the lead man wore heavy glasses; a certain similarity about the faces of the three suggested that they were family, though all were widely different. One man was short and stout, the other tall and then, and the woman between them the median. Both men were pale; the short one had close-cut black hair, while the tall man's was spiked up and bright blue, and the woman tan-skinned with red braids.

"Hey, Bill! Round for everyone here, on us!" The lead man announced, spreading his arms as the tavern roared their appreciation. "Thank you, thank you! We love you when you love us!" He was tall as well, but brawny and muscular, with wild red hair and a beard that suited his constant grin under burning yellow eyes. "We are officially on easy street again! Knocked over the Hylian Embassy! Whoooeee, what a haul!"

"I'm surprised he's bragging about it so openly." One of three hooded and robed travelers sitting at the counter said to the bartender. "As I understand it, in places like this, that's generally an open invitation to company on the way home."

"Everyone in this place knows better than to mess with Blind and the Eyes." Bloody Bill replied easily as the serving girls began passing out mugs. "The watch found the last guys who tried that all over town."

"Literally, I imagine." Another of them, female by her voice, turned as Blind and the Eyes sat down next to them. "Thanks for the beer, friend."

"No problem, pal! I'm generous when I'm on a winning streak." Blind replied, he and his gang turning to regard them. "New here, aren'tcha? Just passing through? Voice sounds kind... of... familiar..." He trailed off as the three of them opened their robes and dropped them on the floor, eyes widening. Presumably the other three were staring just as widely, though it was hard to tell-the glasses were _that_ thick.

"I should certainly hope so. Been a while, Blind." The brown-haired young man in the green tunic and hat said cheerfully. "Heard you saying something about the Hylian Embassy?" His companions were, aside from their different genders, mirror-images of each other. White-haired with skin that was pale but not quite albino, dressed in black and wearing sunglasses indoors, they were smirking cockily. "You remember Handy and Neosquid, right?"

"Link? Aw, _goddammitall!_" Blind roared, he and his gang turning and bolting for the door.

"What's the matter, Blind? Don't wanna hang out with your old buddies?" The pale male dashed after him, while the other two remained seated.

"They paid, right?" Link asked Bill calmly.

"Yeah." Bill was staring now. "Link. As in... _the_ Link?"

"Blind's been telling stories, I see. Yup, that's me. Agent of the Crown of Hyrule." Link shrugged, drinking the beer Blind had bought him. "Other titles, of course, but I prefer not to use them. Don't worry, I'm not here for any trouble. Just checking up on Blind. We like to keep tabs on him, that's all."

"Right." The bartender quickly moved away.

"Looks like you were right, boss." Handy said seriously once he was out of earshot. She and Neosquid had acquired their nicknames during an extended stay in Ganon's Dark World-so long that they had forgotten her original names by the time they escaped, as had the five "Eyes Of Ganon" who had served the Forger of Power. "No sign of Mothula. Neosquid'll trace them in case she's just sick or something, but I doubt it."

"I was afraid of this. Mothula was there longer than any of them or you, and she was the most loyal of them all to Ganon." Link muttered. "I should have known something was up when his ghost agreed to let us use his part of the Triforce along with our own to bring back everybody who'd died during that mess as long as those five were in on the deal. Unexpected camaraderie with them, my ass. He knew Mothula'd try to find a way to bring him back from the dead."

"That's why you've been doing the world traveler bit for the last couple years, remember?" Handy said, finishing her beer. "When Big G does come back, and we all know he will, he won't be stuck in the Dark World any more, and he'll still have his Triforce. If it takes long enough, you two might even have died and reincarnated again. Hyrule's gonna have to have the rest of the world backing it up if anybody's gonna stand a chance against that. Which reminds me, the Princess wants to know how that's going here in Holodrum."

"That's what ambassadors are for, aren't they?" Link rolled his eyes. "Nice try, Handy. She sent you two here to make sure I'm still alive, unmaimed and unscarred. You can go back and tell her I'm cool and to stop wasting your time. She's got you two maniacs running her secret service for her. She should let you earn your pay."

"I'm not telling her that last part, but I'll let her know you're fine." Handy smirked. "And if you honestly expect her not to worry, I'm surprised you ever got a date in your life before you met her. Even _if_ you didn't live that sort of life, which you do, she'd still be wanting regular checkups on you. Get used to it."

"I _used _to live that sort of life." Link clarified. "Nothing in this world even holds a candle to what Ganon had. Not that I _want_ it to, but I'm afraid I might start getting out of practice at this rate, you know?"

"Perish the thought. You might only be able to take out a giant demon hydra turtle _half_ the size of this bar if you did." Handy said dryly.

"That was with the Master Sword." Link reminded her. "Which is back in the altar in the Lost Woods, where it belongs. That thing's around for Ganon, and Ganon only. All I've got is Uncle Al's old blade."

"My comment stands." Handy shook her head. "Not to mention you still have all your other gear. Give me a break, boss." She paused for a moment before changing the subject. "So how long are you gonna keep doing this, anyways? She never mentions it, you know, but it's really hurting her, having you away."

"I know." Link shook his head. More than anything, he wished Zelda could have come with him; as the Sage of Time, her magical powers made her at least as dangerous as he was, so her safety would not have been an issue. Despite that, her status as Princess of Hyrule came first, and so she had remained at home. "Tell her I miss her too, that I'm going from kingdom to kingdom as fast as I can..." He closed his eyes. "And that I haven't forgotten what she asked me."

"You got it, boss." Handy nodded gravely. "I'll let her know."

"Do that." Link stood. "I've got to be off, then. I wasn't kidding when I said I was moving at top speed. My ship to Labrynna leaves tonight."

"You really _do_ want to get home, don't you." Handy murmured. "I'll explain that to Zelda."

"Thanks, Handy." Link shook her hand. "That's another one I owe you."

"Kid, you nixed Big G and busted us all out. Far as I'm concerned, that's infinity plus one to you." Handy smiled, a rare one that contained no mockery whatsoever. "Now get going. Sooner you round the world, sooner you're back to Zelda."

"Now that's a goal I can get behind." Link waved as he walked out, whistling a little tune as he walked. It was a beautiful night out, and the weather was unusually cool for the middle of summer in Holodrum. He had his sword on his back, and the rest of his possessions were already onboard the ship, a stout Hylian vessel with an experienced captain with confidence in his crew, who'd done the Holodum-Labrynna route a million times. He'd had a nice evening with old friends, and confirmed some suspicions he'd been fairly sure of already.

Despite the cynicism and wariness he'd learned so quickly in the few short weeks that had been the most exciting ones of his life, Link couldn't help but feel that tonight, nothing could go wrong for him.

As it turned out, he was right. It was on the _next_ night that everything went to hell.

* * *

Slowly, Link regained consciousness, and realized that he was going to die.

How he had survived the shipwreck was a mystery to him. It looked like he was the only one; the ship was nothing more than scraps of wood and rope bobbing on the ocean's surface now. He was tied to one of them; after a moment, he remembered that he'd been on deck helping when the lightning struck the mainmast. The storm had come down on them like a hunting Dodongo, slow but unstoppable. Their attempts to save themselves had been fruitless, and now Link bobbed on the ocean's surface, with no land in sight, and no strength left to him. It was only a matter of time before he slipped beneath the waves as well.

As more of Link's thoughts returned to him, he began to notice things. Things that were very wrong. It couldn't have been that long since the storm, and yet the sky was clear and unclouded above. Worse, the ocean around him was absolutely still. Not just placid and calm; actually flat and motionless, like a lake, as far as he could see in every direction. The moonlight reflected off of it as he floated along, helpless and disbelieving, until he saw something else approaching from the distance. Several somethings, growing steadily closer.

It was too dark to see what they were until they were nearly upon him, at which point he realized things were worse than he had thought. They were human, or at least human-shaped; he still couldn't make out any physical features. What he could see was that they were walking on the ocean's surface, casually strolling on the water as if it were frozen, despite how he was submerged up to his chest. There were seven of them, a wide variety of forms and figures, stopping around him in a semicircle to peer down.

"What..." Link struggled to say, but couldn't force any more words out. His head swam; he had to have hit it at some time during the shipwreck. He would almost have thought this for a hallucination, had things even stranger than this not happened in his life before on a regular basis.

"Oh, good. He is still alive, after all." One of them spoke, his voice an old man's, high-pitched and cranky. "That's one, at least. That storm was really positioned rather inconveniently. If it had been just a little closer, we would have had many more to pick from."

"Shit happens, Greeper." Another growled, a younger male, his voice filled with suppressed anger. "We gotta deal. Where the hell is Fade? He didn't show _again_? That lazy shit."

"Fade hasn't joined in for decades. He's got all he wants, I guess." The third voice was a young girl's, bright and cheerful. "I just can't identify with that sort of thinking, you know? Although I don't really think this one's my type. Looks far too serious. Anybody else want him?"

"Mmm. Suit yourself, Gie. I think I'll take this one." Another female spoke, this voice slow and sultry. "I always did like handsome men."

"Gimme a break, Sleel." The angry man demanded. "Is that all you and Morm think about? Well, you can have him. He looks like a wimp."

"As if you're one to talk, Hoad." A calm, cold young man said. "Which has just been demonstrated readily."

"You want a piece of me, Morm?" Hoad shot back. "Any time, sleazebag."

"All of you, stop bickering!" Greeper snapped. "Just take him and be done with it, then, Sleel. We don't have all day."

"No... don't." Link managed to mutter as Sleel stepped forward and grabbed his right hand, pulling it up. Her hand was feminine and delicate, but ice-cold, freezing even more than the waters pulling on him. "Don't touch me..."

"Just calm down." She said smugly. "It'll only take a moment-_ah!_" Link's wrist suddenly blazed with golden light, and she dropped it, drawing back with a hiss of shock. The other six reacted similarly, even though they hadn't been touching him.

"That was the mark of the Triforce!" A small boy's voice shrieked. "It's _him!_ The one who killed Ganon! Link!"

"We all know what that means, Sliyes." Morm drawled. "Even Angish knows _that._ Well, sweet sister? Do you still want him?"

"Hardly, dear brother." Sleel rejoined them. "It's a shame to waste a man like that, but I'm no fool. Bringing a bearer of the Triforce in will just be inviting trouble."

"A wise decision, Sleel." Greeper agreed. "Let us leave him to drown, then. He'd cause far more problems than he could be worth."

"Now hold on a moment here." Hoad spoke again, this time sounding interested. "Link, huh? Beat old man Ganon into the grave. Doesn't look like it, but you can't argue with that Triforce. _Now_ we're talking."

"Oooh! Hoad likes him now instead!" Gie chimed in. "That's always fun!"

"Damn your eyes, Hoad." Sliyes cursed. "Can't you see this is no time for your little obsession? We have to draw the line _somewhere_."

"Oh yeah?" Hoad growled, turning to him. "Sure, I'll do that, brat. Soon as you _make_ me. You want to try? Any of you?"

"Leave him be, Sliyes." Greeper said after a moment of silence. "If Hoad wishes to do something foolish, let him. Should he get in over his head, we shall be glad to grant him assistance, after all."

"You're too kind, Greeper." Hoad advanced now. "Well, since that arm's occupied, I'll use your other one instead."

"Leave me alone..." Link managed to say as Hoad's hand pulled his left arm up. "Go away..."

"Scrapper, huh? Even beat to hell and back. Ooh yeah, I like you, kid." Hoad laughed. His hand was blazing hot, the total opposite of Sleel's. "Let's have some fun!"

Link screamed as the index finger of Hoad's free hand touched his wrist; it was literally burning, scorching deep into his skin as it traced something on. When he was done, he dropped the arm, but the water failed to cool it even slightly.

"Cool." Hoad returned to his siblings, reforming the semicircle. "Let's get on with it, huh? Time's wasting!"

"That's the most sensible thing you've said in decades." Greeper snorted, as around them, the water began to change.

Despite everything he had been through, and the bizzarity of his current situation, Link was still shocked by the concept of a hole in the ocean. Such a thing was ludicrous, he knew, and yet it was happening; behind the seven shades, the water was draining into a slowly opening gap, growing wider and wider. As it passed them, they simply remained standing on air, but Link had the feeling the same would not go for him.

As the edge neared him, he stared down into it. It wasn't a hole after all; there, inside, he could see an island, revealed by the receding waters. Bleak cliffs ringed most of it, especially in the north, where a mountain range loomed; only in the southwest corner were there beaches. There were a pair of villages, one in the west and one in the east. Most of the rest of it was covered with pleasant-looking fields. Looking closely, he saw a lake, a swamp, a desert, a forest. It was like something out of a storybook, a children's tale come to life.

"Welcome to Koholint Island." All seven spoke in unison, their voices as one. "_Welcome to our world._"

The waters fell away from Link, and he tumbled into the abyss as the seven all began to laugh, mocking and discordant. He fell, down towards the island, and as he descended, his eyes were drawn to the tallest of the northern mountains. There, ludicrously, a monumental, spotted egg rested atop the peak. For some reason even he didn't know, he kept staring as he passed by it, continuing down towards the southern beaches. The sand and waves rose up to meet him, and he braced himself for what should be a fatal impact, but which his instincts told him would not be.

As he hit, everything went dark once more, and he faded into unconsciousness, the laughter of the seven still ringing in his ears, and the burning of his left wrist still screaming at him.

No matter how he looked at it, it was one of those days.


	2. Chapter 1: All Washed Up

_**Chapter 1: All Washed Up And No Place To Go**_

_Welcome to where time stands still _

_No one leaves and no one will _

Rooms were not meant to spin. Link was well aware of that, even with everything else strange and unusual that had happened in his life. His entire body ached, particularly his left arm, and there was a pounding ache in his skull. The gyrations around him just made it worse, so he closed his eyes again; that helped a little. From what he'd seen, he was in a bed in the only room, and had on a pair of pajamas that were several sizes larger than him. That was an improvement over being adrift, at any rate.

"I saw that! You just opened your eyes!" A woman's voice said. "Don't try and pretend that didn't happen!"

"Zelda?" Link replied without thinking. It wasn't her voice, but the way she had said it brought the princess to his mind first.

"Sorry. I don't know who that is, but it's not me." The woman told him cheerfully. "Still feeling a little woozy, huh? It's a relief to see you're awake, at least. You've been out for days now. Longer than most wash-ups. I was starting to think you'd never wake up."

"That's a pleasant term." Link steeled himself and opened his eyes again. Fortunately, the room had stabilized by then.

"It's accurate, is what it is." The girl standing over him looked slightly younger than him and Zelda, with red hair down to her waist and pleasant brown eyes. She was wearing a simple white dress, and was smiling easily. Something about her stirred Link's memory. "You washed up on the beach. That's where I found you. So, you're a wash-up. It's not like I know your name."

"Fair enough." Link admitted. "I'm Link. Does that happen often, or something?"

"You could say that." She brushed the question off. "Well, welcome to Koholint Island, Link. My name's Marin; I live here with my father, Tarin. Nice to meet you."

"Same to you, Marin." Link said calmly, covering the unpleasant feeling he always got when his past life and present one clicked. _No wonder she looks so familiar._ Malon was the daughter of a rich rancher named Talon; Link had been friends with them both while he adventured through Hyrule in his first quest to stop Ganondorf Dragmire. But Malon had been dead for millenia; the resemblance was probably a coincidence, but it was still spooky. Her dress wasn't a farmgirl's, it was more for style than durability, but aside from that she was practically a doppleganger.

"Hey, your ears are pointed!" Marin noticed, putting a hand to her own, which were as well. "Are you from Hyrule?"

"You've got it. Agent of the crown, actually." Link smiled. "I assume you were too, before you moved here? Hylian, I mean, not the line of work."

"You've got it." Marin nodded, then suddenly moved away. "I should go tell my father you're awake. Can you walk, do you think?"

"Yeah." Link stood up just to test his legs, then nodded. "Should be fine. Still ache a little, but I can handle that."

"We'll have breakfast for you ready when you come down, then." Marin said, pointing over at a side table, where Link's clothes were folded neatly. "Go ahead and change out of my dad's pajamas; I washed your clothes for you. See you downstairs!"

"Sounds like a good idea." Link muttered in agreement as she closed the door behind her. He promptly did so, noting in passing that while his now-empty wallet was still on his belt, none of his other possessions were there. He hoped they were downstairs; the thought of losing his sword in particular was not a pleasant one. Settling his peaked cap neatly on his head, he walked out and down, noting two more doors upstairs, probably to bedrooms.

"Hiya, Link!" The man who was seated with Marin at the table downstairs was just as startlingly familiar as his daughter. Tall and stout, his dark hair was untouched by Talon's baldness, but the large nose, heavy mustache and kind eyes were the same. "Finally woke up, huh? Name's Tarin. Come on, sit a spell! Got some breakfast for ya, if yer up to it!"

"More than." Link eagerly dug into the plate of eggs and ham Tarin served up; his cooking was just as good as his ancestor's had been. "I can't thank both of you enough."

"You could say taking care of wash-ups is sort of a hobby of ours." Marin said in a tone that made it hard to tell if she was joking or not. "Somebody has to do it, after all."

"If more people thought like that, guys like me would have a lot less work." Link chuckled.

"Marin told me. Agent of the crown of Hyrule, huh?" Tarin whistled. "Heavy stuff. How's the old country lookin' these days, anyways?"

"Pretty good. We're just getting over a rough time, but everything's still standing." Link shrugged, deciding not to mention the entire mess with Ganon; if they hadn't heard already, they probably wouldn't believe him. "King Lucas is still on the throne, but he's pretty old, so he's talking about abdicating for his daughter pretty soon."

"Good, good." Tarin chuckled. "Glad to hear it's all okay."

"This princess wouldn't happen to be named Zelda, would she?" Marin guessed shrewdly.

"Pretty good." Link said, nodding. "How'd you guess if you didn't already know?"

"You said the name, and there was a princess named Zelda way back in the legends, associated with a hero named Link." Marin explained. "You're not going to tell me you're a hero, are you?"

"Hardly." Link laughed, only partially lying. Other people had called him a hero, but he'd never said it himself. "I'm just a guy who's good with a sword, that's all. My family's been commanding the Knights of Hyrule for generations now, you see..."

"So yer parents picked yer name to go with hers? That's pretty cute." Talon smiled. "Well, every so often a monster gets rambunctious, but aside from that, there ain't much to kill around here. Which is all well and good, since I didn't find no sword when I went down to the beach earlier. Got yer shield over there in the corner, with yer name on it, but that's it." He indicated Link's stout metal shield in a corner, polished and gleaming. "Might have washed up since, though."

"Thanks for taking care of that, then, at least. I'll go look later." Link sighed, finished with the meal. "Maybe I should find a place around here to stay a couple days more, then, before I catch a ship out of here. I've been on crown business for a while, and I'd say I've earned a vacation. I'm pretty attached to most of the things I was carrying, so I'm hoping they do end up washing ashore."

Marin and Tarin exchanged a long, worried glance at that, dropping their smiles.

"Link." Marin spoke carefully. "There are a few things you need to know about Koholint Island."

"Okay." Link looked from one of them to the other, now fully alert. "I'm listening."

"See, it's like this." Tarin coughed. "Prince Richard's the fella who's _supposedly_ in charge here. He's an exile from some far-off land, lives in Kanalet Castle a ways away. But he's only doin' so 'cause the Lords an' Ladies _want_ him to. There's eight of them, and they're the ones really runnin' things here. An' I mean _everything_." He paused for a moment. "You seen anything... funny before you washed up here, Link?"

"Now that you mention it, I did." Link murmured. "I thought it was a hallucination, but..." He suddenly looked down at his own left wrist. There, a black scar was charred into the flesh. A brand, shaped like a stylized flame. "Seven people, and they said one hadn't come. Walking on water, and opening holes in the ocean. I couldn't see their faces. I don't think they were human. One of them did this to me."

"Lord Hoad's mark... hoo, boy." Tarin murmured. "Why ain't I surprised." He and Marin both turned their own arms over, showing similar marks on their right wrists. Tarin's looked like some sort of bottle, while Marin's was a smiling face. "They marked ya, boy. Whether they're human or not, we can't say, but they've always been around, and anybody who messes with 'em... well, let's just say it's best _not_ to mess with 'em. And if there's one thing they don't like, it's ships."

"You're kidding." Link groaned. "How do people come and go, then? Some sort of flight, or..." He trailed off, gears turning in his mind as he thought over everything they'd said. The looks on their faces told him he was right. "Wash-ups, on the beach... that's the only way anybody ever comes here, isn't it?"

"And once we do, we can never leave, unless it's through death. I'm sorry, Link." Marin said quietly. "In all the time we've been here, we've never seen anybody escape."

"We'll see about that." Link shrugged, smiling again. "I can be pretty persuasive. I'll have a talk with these Lords and Ladies; I carry a lot of weight with Hyrule. There's got to be something they want I can get them to make an exception for." Privately, he doubted it would be that easy, but there was no way he was getting the two of them dragged into the hard way, and it would have looked odd if he'd just given in right away.

"Just be careful, Link." Tarin said seriously. "Some of the Lords an' Ladies are okay folks, s'long as you don't tick 'em off. Others, though... best avoid 'em like a cucco storm. Make sure it's one o' the first kind ya talk to. They usually come by here every few days."

"In the meantime, I'll show you around town." Marin smiled, regaining her cheer. "You can meet everybody here. Most of the humans on Koholint live in Mabe Village."

"By that, I take it that humans aren't the only people around?" Link raised an eyebrow. "Not that that bothers me-I met Gorons for the first time recently, and Subrosians."

"None of those. Sorry." Marin shrugged. "Just Animal Village, on the other side of the island. There are monsters, too, but they're not really friendly on the best of days and they've all been cranky for the past few. They mostly serve the Lords and Ladies, so they don't live in the towns."

"We'll skip those, then." Link chuckled. "Monsters tend not to like me either, for some reason. Maybe it's how I tend to kill them when they go after nice people."

"Without a sword?" Marin raised an eyebrow.

"Might be a bit tricky, that." Link admitted, and they all laughed.

"I'll be goin' up into the forest, then." Tarin decided, pulling a backpack on. "Figure I'll go mushroom hunting."

"Try not to get lost again, okay?" Marin hugged him, then nodded to Link. "Come on, let's go introduce you to everybody who's home right now."

Mabe Village looked like a pleasant place to live, at least; the houses were all sturdy and well-kept, with paved pathways cutting through grass between them. Marin and Tarin's home was on the eastern edge of town; past them was a field in which men and women were working, with more plains stretching away into the distance. Past the houses to the north were trees, and in the south, the land fell away sharply towards the beach, though there was a slope at one point.

"Dad's going up into the Mysterious Woods." Marin explained, seeing him look around. "Funny name, isn't it? He goes up there all the time to look for mushrooms, but sometimes he gets the magic kind by accident. One time he turned into a raccoon!" She giggled. "I had to go get the witch who lives there to change him back."

"Memo to self. Avoid suspicious mushrooms while here." Link commented. "I'd make a lousy raccoon."

"I can't really imagine that." Marin agreed. "Come on, over here! You can meet Madame Meowmeow, and Bowwow!"

"Interesting names." Link blinked, following her over to the house next to hers. It was somewhat more lavish, with a odd, doorless side-building and a post in front. Something was tied to the post, chain jangling. "Is Bowwow her son?"

"No, silly!" Marin punched him harmlessly on the shoulder. "He's her pet!"

"Oh. A dog, then?" Link nodded, light dawning. "Okay, that makes-_yow!_" He jumped as a black mass suddenly lunged for him. In the instant before he went down, he saw what it was, and swore mentally at his misfortune. Instead of the ripping teeth he expected, however, a huge, wet tongue began washing his face.

"Down, Bowwow! Awww!" Marin tried her best to sound disapproving, but couldn't stop herself from laughing. "He's always like this with people!"

"But he's... that's a chain chomp!" Link blinked, sitting up as Marin pulled Bowwow off of him. There was no mistaking him for anything else; a metallic black sphere on a chain, its only features wide eyes and a maw full of massive teeth. He was now straining to reach Marin, barking excitedly, but seemed to have nothing violent in mind there either.

"You've seen some before? You really do travel around, don't you?" Marin smiled, rubbing Bowwow behind the eyes. "They're only found on Koopa Island, aren't they? Madame Meowmeow says they're normally vicious, but she bought Bowwow when he was only a puppy, and trained him. He only attacks monsters now."

"I have to admit, you can't do much better than a chain chomp for a guard animal." Link chuckled, wiping the slobber off of his face.

"Indeed you can't, young man!" A stout, middle-aged woman in a fancy dress agreed, opening the door. "I bred Bowwow before I came to Koholint, and they always sold for thousands of rupees. All I have here with me are him and two pups, unfortunately. Still, it's better than being without them." A tiny chomp rushed out between her feet and began circling them, yipping.

"Madame Meowmeow, I presume." Link smiled, bowing. "I'm Link from Hyrule. Nice to meet you."

"Well, aren't you the gentleman." Meowmeow curtseyed in return with some effort.

"I should hope so." Marin said, petting the pup chomp. "He was friends with a princess back there."

"Oh, my!" Meowmeow gasped. "You should meet Prince Richard, then... oh, but not until the monsters have calmed down again. I would let you take one of the pups with you, but they're not big enough, I'm afraid."

"I heard that, mommy!" A high-pitched, growling voice said from the pethouse. To Link's amazement, it was another chomp pup that hopped out; like its sibling, it was too young to have grown a chain tail. "We can bite monsters! Lemme at 'em!"

"Lady Gie bestowed the gift of speech on Princess here." Meowmeow explained, seeing Link's face. "She said it would be funny to do so without following suit with her father and brother. I would let her live in Animal Village with the others, but she can't stand to be separated from us. Lucy, go play with your brother."

"Okay!" The chomp pup yapped at the other one, and they hopped away together.

"Oh yeah, you mentioned an animal village earlier, didn't you?" Link asked Marin, who nodded. "Full of talking animals, huh? Wow. These Lords and Ladies can even do _that_?"

"That, and more." Marin confirmed. "I'll take you to meet them all once the monsters are calm again, too. They're all friendly, even the Crocodile Brothers and Chef Bear-oh! Good morning, Lord Hoad! Lord Morm! Lady Gie!" She and Meowmeow quickly curtseyed as Link turned around.

"So, you _are_ up." The man in the lead said with a smile, looking at Link. "Thought I sensed that." For a moment, Link almost thought it was Blind, but though the man bore a strong resemblance, there were differences. He-probably Hoad-was shorter than Blind, and burlier as well, with more muscle packed onto his frame. His hair and beard were wild and red, and his eyes fierce. His clothes were solid black, a sleeveless vest, leggings and boots.

"Mmm. He looks better now that he's awake. My sweet sister may regret letting you have this one after all." The other male, most likely Morm, was only similar to Hoad in the color of their clothes, though he was much more finely dressed,with golden buttons on his jacket. The man himself was slim and pale, more than a little androgynous, with a fine-featured face and lush black hair. A superior smirk hovered over his lips as he looked them over, eyes lingering on Marin.

"Sleel is always so silly about that!" Gie, the female, laughed. Her appearance was a harsh contrast to the other two; though the majority of her garb was black as well, each piece was patterned with a different color as well, all of them bright. Between her pointed shoes, gloves, cape, belt, puffed pants and blouse, she nearly had the entire rainbow represented. It was completed by her golden hair and a topaz necklace she wore. Her face and voice were young, but her body was definitely an adult woman's.

"Lord Hoad. I understand that I have you to thank for my life." Link smiled; Zelda had taught him how to be polite to people he disliked, and he definitely didn't like the looks of these three. They gave off the same air as the Eyes of Ganon had, and not when they had been human. "I appreciate that, but I also hear that we're not allowed to leave."

"No problem, pal. Welcome to Koholint! Why don't we talk about that?" Hoad laughed, extending his hand and approaching. As soon as he was within range, the hand became a fist and slammed into Link's gut like a battering ram.

"Shit." Link grunted, going down like a felled tree; that one hit had completely floored him. That was more than a little strange; Hoad was strong, but so was he.

"Give me a break." Hoad snorted. "I figured you'd be softened up by the shipwreck, but that's just pathetic. I brought you here because I figured you'd make things more interesting. Can't do that if you're a wussy boy. You want out of here, Link? Give me some entertainment, and we'll talk. Until then, _you_ ain't going _nowhere_. We clear?"

"Crystal." Link stood up, then lunged and returned the blow to Hoad's jaw. Marin and Meowmeow, who'd both stayed silent the entire time, both gasped in shock. Morm and Gie, however, only smiled wider.

"Better." Hoad rubbed his cheek. His next blow knocked Link to his knees. "Maybe this'll be fun after all. Go on, Marin. Help him up."

"Yes, sir." Marin replied, running over to pull Link back to his feet. "You fool! What were you thinking?"

"He was anticipating Hoad's desires correctly, as a matter of fact." Morm murmured, having crossed to join them without either of them noticing. "Worry not, dear girl. He will be fine, though he would be wise not to take that attitude with others among us."

"Of course, Lord Morm." Marin said quietly, avoiding his eyes.

"Good girl. I see why Fade likes you." Morm reached out to stroke her cheek. "A shame he called you before I could."

"Hey, Morm. Cut that shit out, huh? You're making me sick, here." Hoad interrupted angrily. "You know what Fade said he'd do to you if he caught you screwing with her again."

"Of course." Morm drew back. "Well, should you ever become bored with his company, you do know where I live, Marin."

"I do indeed, Lord Morm." Marin replied noncommittally.

"I like your puppy, Madam Meowmeow." Gie said, lingering as the two men started walking off. Bowwow had retreated as far away from the three as his chain would let him go. "Did I let you bring him here?"

"Indeed you did, Lady Gie. After Lord Greeper allowed me." Meowmeow answered with forced calmness.

"So you're Greeper's, but Bowwow's mine." Gie giggled. "Take good care of him for me!" Turning away, she skipped to catch up with the other two.

"Well. That was slightly terrifying." Link commented once they were gone. "Does that happen often?"

"Some of the Lords and Ladies come through town every few days to check on us." Marin answered quietly.

"And Morm acts like that every time he sees you?" Link guessed darkly, watching sweat bead on her brow.

"Lord Morm has a fixation with young women." Meowmeow sniffed, checking to make sure they were really gone. "A few of them haven't even returned yet. A good thing it is that Lord Fade claimed Marin here first."

"I'll tell Fade about this." Marin decided, narrowing her eyes. "The last time Lord Morm got out of hand, Fade said he'd staple Lord Morm's head to his... feet... and roll him down a mountain if he did it again. I'd like to see that."

"So would I. I should meet this guy." Link chuckled, noting that Marin hadn't used Fade's title even as he began formulating his own plans for the future involving Morm. An idea had formed from his assessment of Hoad's personality and his knowledge of Koholint's peculiar rules, but it would have to wait. The angry Lord was right; the shipwreck had weakened him. "Well, nice to meet you, Madame Meowmeow, unpleasant interruptions aside."

"The pleasure's all mine, young man." Meowmeow's smile returned. "I do hope you learn to like our island."

"Come on, let's go see Grandpa Ulrira next!" Marin urged, and the two of them started walking once more, under the summer sun.

* * *

"A crane game?" Link asked, staring at the last building they had to visit. "Seriously?"

"Seriously." Malon said gravely. "Mister Stanley built it with Lord Sliyes's help. He does work on the phones whenever they break down too, but in the meantime, he runs this." She shrugged. "It's not like the economy around here is taken seriously."

"Good point." Link had to concede. Aside from one general store, as far as he could tell, a barter system seemed to be more popular, and apparently rupees were commonplace anyways. "I'd give it a go just for the heck of it, but I seem to have been robbed on my way in."

"That must have been Lady Gie. She always does that." Malon explained. "Don't worry, I'll spot you. Come on!" She led the way in, and Link followed.

They'd spent most of the day meeting various people around town. Grandpa Ulrira, a taciturn old man who suddenly became chatty and informative on the telephone, a miraculous electric device set up by Sliyes. Grandma, his hot-blooded, hard-working wife. Papahl and Mamahl, an oddly-named couple with four identical young boys and a baby girl as well. Balzac the storekeeper, who'd actually been a powerful wizard before coming to Koholint. All of them had been friendly and cheerful, welcoming Link to what they assured him was an island paradise.

"Ah, hello Marin. And the new boy-Link, isn't it?" Mister Stanley, a nervous-looking man with huge glasses on an equally large nose, greeted them. "Care to give it a try?" The crane game took up most of the room; a raised platform behind glass, with conveyer belts in various patterns moving prizes around.

"That's what we're here for." Marin agreed, pulling a red rupee out of her pocket and handing it over. "There's two tries. Go on, Link. See if you can get something."

"All right, why not." Link shrugged, crossing to the control panel. It was fairly simple, and before long, he had the grip of it. Positioning the claw, he dropped it, and came up with some kind of stuffed doll.

"Pretty good hand-eye coordination!" Marin congratulated him as the claw dropped it on a belt that would bring it out to him. "Mamahl will be jealous. She's been trying to get that one for her baby for weeks now."

"Maybe I'll give it to her, then." Link shrugged, picking it up. "I'm a bit old for dolls. I was going for that pouch."

"Maybe next time." Marin rubbed her hands together, shooting Link a mischievous smirk when Stanley wasn't looking. "My turn now. I've always wanted to see if this would work."

"Why do I get the feeling you're up to something?" Link watched, amused, as she brought the crane over Stanley's head, then dropped it.

"Hey, what the-!" Stanley yelped, too late to dodge as the pincers closed around his shoulders and lifted him into the sky. "Oh. A joke. Ha ha ha. Very funny, miss Marin." He glared down at them as the crane brought him over to the dispenser belt, and folded his arms as soon as they were free. "Are you quite done being juvenile?"

"I'd say so." Marin agreed with a straight face before she and Link both burst out laughing. It was the look of indignation on his face that had really done it.

"Hmph." Muttering to himself, Stanley stalked off into a back room.

"Come on, let's go. I'll apologize to him later. He won't come out for the rest of the day now." Marin led Link out, still giggling.

"Hey, I thought it was great." Link said. "Where to now, then?"

"It's starting to get late." Marin looked up at the sky, beginning to turn a sunset orange. "Let's go see if dad's home yet."

"And if he's not?" Link asked as they returned to her house.

"Then he's probably lost again." Marin looked around quickly before returning to him, her face irritated. "He always does this. I'll go have a quick look around the woods for him. If I don't find him in an hour, we'll have dinner without him."

"All right." Link paused for a moment. "Mind if I go check out this beach, then? See if anything else washed up?"

"You're really attached to that sword of yours, aren't you?" Marin smiled. "Go ahead. Take your shield, at least, though. Monsters, and all. Oh, and while you're down there, could you pick up some bananas? A guy named Sale lives down there in his grove."

"No problem." Link buckled the shield on. Like his sword, it had been given to him by his uncle, and he was glad that it at least had come through. Taking the indigo rupee she gave him for the bananas, he nodded. "See you back here in an hour, then!"

Marin had shown him the road to the beach while they were exploring town. It went past the town library, and a couple of the quadruplets playing ball. Smiling and waving, Link walked past, down the slope past the cliffs. Despite his misgivings, he had to admit one thing, at least; it really _was_ a nice little island.

When octorocks crossed his path, it didn't even spoil his mood; he'd been told there were monsters, after all, and octorocks were familiar. Eight-legged land-dwellers, they got their name from their habit of propelling stones out of their tubelike mouths at enemies. These ones were no different from any others he had encountered, and his shield was sufficient to keep them at bay, though his inability to strike back did make the loss of his sword even more apparent.

"This is just galling. Can't even slice up _octorocks._" Link shook his head as he reached the beach. The ocean stretched out before him, a blue expanse going past the horizon. Briefly, he considered a raft, then shook his head; with the kind of power the Lords and Ladies apparently had, it couldn't be that simple. Sighing, he walked down to the tide and began combing the sand, dodging aggressive crabs and prickly sea urchins.

It was a glint of metal among a cluster of the latter that drew his eye. Walking over to them, Link began shoving the urchins away with his shield; while they could apparently survive on land, the spiny creatures had the mobility of a slug, and he was quickly able to clear them off of their prize, smiling in relief as he was able to see what it is.

"Lady luck's smiling on me after all." Link said, picking up his sword. Neither particularly long nor wide, it was made to be used one-handed, but was still heavy enough to have steel-cutting force when applied with enough force and skill, which Link more than had. Even with his body still feeling ravaged by the ordeal, it was natural in his hands. Before he even knew it, he was automatically executing the whirling slash, his family's trademark move. One full circle, and all of the urchins around him died, cut neatly in half horizontally.

"Still got it." Link said confidently, sheathing the blade and buckling it back onto his belt. "That's what's important. As long as that's good, the rest is just a matter of time." Choosing a suitable-looking driftwood log, he sat down on it, staring off into the sunset. "An island where nobody ever leaves. Might as well be an entirely different world. Same old song and dance, round two. _One_ way to keep in shape, at least." He chuckled wryly. "Guess I should be glad I'm not getting turned into a pink bunny this time. Still, have to remember to stay on guard here, no matter how nice it is."

"Hoot, hoot! A wise young man you are, indeed!" A new voice, deep and wise, said from behind him. Turning, Link saw a huge owl, nearly as large as himself, perched on another log behind him. "This island preys on the resigned. Become complacent, and you will continue to be so, until before you know it, a lifetime has passed here in no time at all. Or perhaps the other way around, hoo. Who can tell?"

"You..." Link stared openly, memories and reality colliding once more. "Kaepora?"

"Hoo hoo? A friend you knew?" The owl blinked. "I am sorry, lad. That name is not mine. But this sword, it seems, belongs to you, hoo. It repelled the touch of the masters of this isle when they tried to claim it, you know."

"Huh." Link raised an eyebrow. "If it was the Master Sword, I'd have expected that, but this is just Uncle Al's old blade. Still, not complaining. Are you saying they _did_ make off with other things of mine?"

"Indeed." The owl agreed. "A curved throwing weapon that always returns to its owner. A pair of gauntlets that grant their wearer inhuman strength. Boots which give equally fantastic speed. Fins for feet, with magic of the waves that would let even a snail swim. A device of chain and hook, that can cross and pull across huge distances. A musical instrument, whose secrets even I cannot see. A shield like the one you wear, but made from a magic mirror. And a rod of red, that creates magical fire. All these things were taken by the masters of the isle as their due."

"Not bad. Still, looks like some of my stuff was lost." Link sighed. "Guess I shouldn't complain, since I'll at least be able to get all of those back."

"Hoot!" The owl's eyes twinkled. "The masters of the isle are avaricious, lad. They will not lightly give up anything they perceive as their own. Do you intend to fight them?"

"If that's what it takes to get me off this island, and it looks like it's going to." Link agreed grimly. "I do this sort of thing for a living. Hope that doesn't bother you too much; one of them gave you speech, right?"

"No, lad. I serve a higher purpose than those beings of lies and illusion." The owl shook its head. "Small wonder the monsters who _do _serve them became agitated when you arrived. If you wish to leave this island, the way lies through those eight, and to the Wind Fish, who slumbers here. Remember that name, as your adventures take you across this island of dreams."

"Wind Fish, huh?" Link nodded slowly. "And you say the monsters are getting violent because of me, too. Well, okay. I tend to listen to owls when they give me advice-long story-so I suppose I can do that."

"Hoot! A fortunate coincidence, then!" The owl chuckled. "One more suggestion I shall give to you, hoo! The Mysterious Woods, near the village. You shall find the first key you need there." Suddenly, he spread his wings, taking flight into the sky. "Remember, the path to reality is to wake the Wind Fish from its slumber! Hoot hoot hoot!"

"Weird day." Link muttered to himself as he began to walk back north, then thought again, remembering some of the ones he'd had in the Dark World when he was younger. "Well... nah. About average, if it's going to be like _that_, again." He managed a tight grin as he bisected a cranky octorock. "Well, at least it won't be boring."

Right now, though, he had bananas to buy, and so he began looking for the grove, relaxed at the moment with no promises for tomorrow.

* * *

As the owl flew over Koholint Island, a blazing fireball suddenly launched from the three dark forms sitting on a mountainside ledge towards it. Hooting derisively, the bird swooped aside at the last moment, dodging the attack, and continued off in a different direction.

"Tch." Hoad snorted. "Didn't even wing 'im."

"Now look what you've done, Hoad." Morm sneered derisively. "That ridiculous owl is _back_. I'd hoped we'd seen the last of it."

"Well that's your own damn fault, then, Morm. For being an _idiot_." Hoad said with just as much contempt. "Didn't kill the thing. Didn't get rid of it. Didn't give it what it wants. Why _would_ it go away? _I_ wouldn't."

"Are you expecting me to comprehend the psychology of a supernatural _owl?_" Morm replied, amused now. "Perhaps we should all try putting on feathers and wings for a few days in order to investigate the matter. I daresay Greeper would be interested."

"Yeah, he _would._" Hoad shook his head. "That freak's half bird already. Bats are birds too, right?"

"I'll just be thankful you didn't think they were bugs." Morm sighed.

"So, _can_ we kill that owl now?" Gie asked, watching it vanish in the distance. "I'd be cool with that."

"Hell, don't ask me. I've been trying to nail that thing ever since it first started yapping at us." Hoad said irritably. "Far as I'm concerned, if you can _get_ it, more power to you. Damn bird's got better moves than a ninja."

"I doubt anybody would complain at this point, now that it's been making contact with Hoad's new friend." Morm rolled his eyes. "I still can't believe you actually brought _him_ here on purpose. The man killed _Ganon_, for the goddesses' sake. This could be an absolute disaster for us. Sometimes I wonder about you."

"I don't really care about that." Gie shrugged, stretching. "I just hope he's fun, is all. You'll let the rest of us play with him too, right Hoad? Please?"

"Ha! Dammit, you know I can't say no to you, Gie." Hoad chuckled. "Yeah, go right ahead. Be a while before he's in any shape to be interesting to me, anyways."

"Awww, thanks, Hoad!" Gie hugged him, laughing at the look of mild irritation on his face. "Come on, don't be all grumpy with me. We're family, right?"

"Indeed we are." Morm agreed. "Well then, I'm sure you won't mind if I go convey that offer to my sweet sister as well. She'd love that, and goddesses know I've got no interest in the young thug myself."

"Well, good for you, skippy." Hoad rolled his eyes. "Yeah, sure, go ahead. Knock yourself out. Preferably literally."

"Hey, hold on, Morm!" Gie protested. "You were going to have some fun with _me_ now, remember?"

"Of course. I'll just go talk to Sleel for a moment, and then we can go back to my place." Morm promised. "That way, _she_ can have her fun with the boy while you're with me, and then when _you_ go to play with him, she won't be in the way."

"Oooh. Good point." Gie conceded. "Okay, let's go see Sleel really quick, then!"

"Smooth talker." Hoad snorted. "I can't stand it."

"I don't believe I was asking you to." Morm sniffed. "We'll be on our way, then. _Do_ have fun with the rest of your day."

"Yeah, sure, whatever. Go snort broken glass." Hoad said sourly, turning away. "See you around, Gie."

"Bye, Hoad! Thanks again!" Gie waved as she and Morm began strolling down the mountainside, leaving Hoad to his own devices.

"Heh. Strange girl." Hoad muttered, staring off across the island with burning eyes. Slowly, he bared his teeth in a savage grin. "Yeah, go ahead. Mess with the kid all you want, until he messes with you back. The Hero of Time, the Wind Fish, the Children of Nightmares, and that friggin' owl thrown in just for kicks. Not to mention a backup cast purgatory would be proud of. _Now_ we're talking." Turning away, he began making his own way up the mountainside instead, and as he walked, the air around him rose to a blazing temperature.

"Dance, freaks, dance. Show some hell to me."


	3. Chapter 2: The Worm Turns

_**Chapter 2: The Worm Turns**_

_They think our heads are in their hands _

_But violent use brings violent plans _

Link awoke to the sound of Marin's voice, singing clearly in the morning sunlight outside. Stirring, he climbed out of bed and crossed to the window. Below, in the town square, she stood below the weathervane, her voice carrying over the entire village. It was one of the most beautiful things Link had ever heard, and by the looks of it, he wasn't alone; several of the other villagers were gathered to listen to her. After a few minutes, he smiled and went to get dressed before going downstairs and proceeding to cook breakfast.

Tarin had still been lost when Link returned the previous evening, but Marin hadn't been too worried, claiming he'd done this many times before. After they'd had dinner, she'd insisted that he stay in the guestroom until the villagers had built a new house for him. Privately, Link had no intention of it coming to that, but was perfectly willing to accept her hospitality in the short term. It certainly beat sleeping in a tree.

"Link, you didn't have to do that!" Marin exclaimed, sounding surprised and pleased, when she came in to find him setting out servings of fried toast and bacon.

"Didn't _have_ to, but _wanted_ to." Link explained cheerfully. "You guys are putting me up. Taking my fair share of the cooking is the least I can do."

"Well, aren't you the gentleman." Marin teased, sitting down and taking a bite. "Ooh. A good cook, too. I wouldn't expect that of a swordsman."

"When you spend a lot of time on the road by yourself, you improve fast if you don't want to keep eating swill." Link explained, joining her. "Call it a survival trait."

"I can see how that would work, yes." She agreed. "Dad's going to regret it when he hears he missed out on this, even if his mushroom hunt went well."

"I was thinking about that, actually." Link said smoothly; for some reason, he wanted to avoid mentioning the owl. "If you're busy today, I can go look for him myself-the more of this island I can explore, the better. I like knowing the lay of the land."

"Now _that's_ something I'm _not_ surprised to hear coming from somebody in your line of work." She said impishly. "I was planning on looking again today, actually, but with two of us we can cover more ground. Good idea!"

"Glad you approve." Link grinned. "I assume the monsters in there aren't too nasty, if you don't worry about going in there alone."

"I'm happy you have such faith in me." She mock-scowled. "I'll have you know I'm quite a good shot with a bow and arrow. Not that I need to be in the woods; you're right about that. It's mostly moblins in there. They're mean, but dumb. Even if they attack, it's pretty easy to get them to run into trees or their own pitfalls. Just don't go too far north; if you come out of the woods, you'll be right next to the Goponga Swamp, and that's a different story. The goponga flowers they grow there are nearly impossible to kill."

"I take it they're aggressive, too. I hate carnivorous plant life." Link made a face. "Nearly, huh? Any idea what _does_ work?"

"Bowwow." Marin answered with a straight face. "They're his favorite. Madame Meowmeow walks him up there since he likes them so much. That's about it; they burn, but not very well, and they do grow in water, so you pretty much have to ignite the entire thing all at once. Even bombs don't work. Lady Gie grows them because of that, or so I hear; they keep anybody she doesn't want to bother her from doing so."

"She lives up there in that swamp, then?" Link raised an eyebrow. "Can't say I'd choose that as a place to build a luxury mansion."

"I wouldn't either, but the Lords and Ladies don't live in those." Marine explained. "Their homes tend to be much more grim than that. They've each got one, spread all over the isle, and... well, to be honest, most of them are really more like glorified dungeons than anything else."

"Let me guess. Swarming with monsters." Link said expectantly. _Familiar patterns._ "And generally somewhat difficult to get to."

"Well, you're right about the first part." Marin agreed. "That's what the monsters do, mostly. Serve the Lords and Ladies directly. That's why nobody really minds them so much; it's better than us doing it. The latter... well, it depends on who it is. Some of them like their privacy, and with others it's just a matter of them knowing you're coming so they unlock the door for you."

"I suppose that makes enough sense." Link agreed. They'd finished their breakfast, so he stood and began taking the dishes to the sink. "Shall we head off once the dishes are done, then?"

"Sounds good, but _you're_ staying put on that." Marin swatted him with a towel. "Don't you know? 'He who cooks doesn't clean.' I'll take care of the dishes."

"Yes, ma'am." Link said with exaggerated obedience, and she laughed as she got to work. Already, he liked her; there was a lot about her that reminded him of Zelda, but just as much that was different. Like the princess, she was friendly, with a quick wit and a good sense of humor, and a natural sense of toughness despite her femininity. At the same time, she was more relaxed and casual than Zelda, and seemed more optimistic as well; no traces of a strict upbringing showed, nor of any hardships so great as to permanently change her.

_Small mystery she's so popular with everybody in town._ Link shrugged. He'd have to be careful not to get _too_ close, all the same. Not only because he wouldn't be staying, but there was another woman still waiting for him back home, who he dreamed of every night. Marin was nice, but he would be leaving her life soon enough, and she his. A knocking on the door caught his attention, and with a nod from Marin, he rose to answer it.

"Oh, hello-Link, wasn't it?" Mamahl from a few houses over stood there, her ever-present baby in her arms. "I just came over to ask Marin if she had an egg I could borrow."

"Of course!" Marin replied from the sink. "Could you get that for her, Link?"

"No problem." Link went over to do so, then remembered something. "Oh, here. Marin said you've been wanting one of these, right?" The doll he'd won in the crane game had been left on a chair nearby.

"Oh, a Yoshi doll! My baby's been begging for that!" Mamahl exclaimed brightly. The infant in question did, in fact, begin babbling happily as soon as Link handed the soft toy over. "Thank you, Link! You're such a generous young man. There's got to be something I can give you in return-oh, here!" She dug out a pretty pink length of ribbon from her pocket.

"Hey, thanks!" Link said diplomatically. _Um._

"Give it to Marin!" Mamahl whispered under her breath, apparently seeing the look on his face. "She likes you, you know!" Taking the egg as well, she returned to her normal voice. "Thanks again, both of you. I'd better go back to cooking breakfast. Papahl wants a hearty meal before he goes hiking in the mountains again. I'm sure he'll get lost, just like last time."

"Again?" Marin giggled. "He and Tarin should just go out together. Maybe between the two of them, they'd be able to find their way back."

"Either that, or get twice as lost!" Mamahl laughed as well. "Have a nice day!"

"Well?" Marin shot him a sly grin once she was gone.

"You heard that, didn't you?" Link grinned back. "Good ears."

"Thanks. Mamahl's nice, but she's a bit silly sometimes." Marin explained. "She and Papahl both are. Hate to disappoint you, but pink's not my color."

"Well, darn. My cunning plan is foiled." Link joked. "Oh well, I'm sure I'll find some use for this. Maybe I can tie it around my sword's hilt."

"I think any monsters you came across would die laughing if you did _that_." Marin guessed, finishing the dishes and drying her hands off. "Shall we, then?"

"Oh, by all means." Link nodded, slipping the ribbon into his pocket and taking up his sword and shield. Together, they walked out of the village to the west, then turned north, into the forest Tarin had vanished into. "All right. You know this place better than I do. How should we do this?"

"You take the west side, and I'll take the east." Marin decided. "Meet up back here every hour or so."

"Sounds good." Link agreed. "I'm guessing you have a better sense of direction than your father does."

"Just about anybody does, except Papahl, but I've never gotten lost here myself." Marin said with a shrug. "You too, mister adventurer?"

"Something else that's pretty much required in the line of work." Link agreed, heading off into the trees.

True to his word, Link quickly assembled a mental map of his area of the forest, adding it onto what he already knew of Koholint. As Marin had said, grumpy moblins swarmed the wood, blue-skinned humanoids with heads like bulldogs, but most of them only chucked an idle spear at him in passing. Link, however, was bred to take that sort of thing personally, and showed no mercy to those who did, cutting them down quickly and skillfully. Any guilt he might have felt was silenced when one spear nicked his shoulder; it was only a scratch, but it still irritated him.

Eventually, he came across what had to be the fattest raccoon he'd ever seen, sitting on its hind legs-or, to be more accurate, reclining against the back of a tree on them while it chewed a long strand of grass. "Morning, son."

"Good morning." Link replied politely, still growing used to the concept of talking animals. In addition to the chomp and the owl, he'd met Sale the banana 'man', who'd turned out to be a friendly crocodile. "I don't suppose you've seen a man with a mustache named Tarin around here today or yesterday?"

"Can't say I have, nope." The raccoon shrugged. "Easy ta get lost around here, though."

"Lucky for me, I'm good at not getting lost." Link shrugged. "Well, if you see him, let me know, huh?" He turned away and kept walking, only to hear an oddly sinister chuckle from the raccoon.

"Think so, huh? Easy ta get lost, yup. Especially with me helping ya out!"

Link turned around to respond, then blinked. Somehow, in a blur of motion, he was now standing in an entirely different path in the forest, one he'd explored previously. Taking a minute to reorient himself, he set off, and confirmed that he had indeed been transported by magic. A moment more of thought brought something else to mind-the raccoon's voice had been familiar. Groaning, he returned to the meeting point.

"Any luck?" Marin asked a few minutes later, joining him.

"Yeah. Bad." Link shook his head. "You told me a mushroom turned him into a raccoon once, right?"

"Oh, no." Marin covered her face. "No memory of himself, magically sent you somewhere else?"

"Pretty much." Link sighed. "At least you know how to change him back, right?"

"Yes. We'll have to go see Syrup for help." Marin said, recovering from her gloom. "I can introduce you while we're there. Good thing I picked this up when I saw it, just in case." She showed him a squat, rubbery-looking mushroom with a sweet smell and a reddish-orange cap.

"Oh, those grow here, too?" Link blinked; he'd seen this before. "I get it. Magic powder, right?"

"Exactly. Syrup can make it for us." Marin explained. "Come on, we'll leave the forest to the northeast. She lives up near the graveyard."

"Makes magic powder, lives near a graveyard... that's right, you said she was a witch earlier." Link remembered. "Does she do potions, too?"

"No, she says she was never any good at those." Marin shrugged. "Nobody can do everything."

"True." Link conceded, slightly disappointed. Some healing potions would have come in handy if his stay on the island was going to be like he was planning. "Oh well, at least she'll be able to turn Tarin back."

They made it through the woods without any further trouble. Link tried to refrain from killing moblins while she was with him, although he did cleave slime-blob zols when they popped up. Once, though, an aggressive moblin with a sword left him little choice. To his surprise, Marin didn't look away or complain; she simply waited until he was done, then kept walking. Once they were out of the forest, the moblins no longer bothered them, and they continued to Syrup's home without further trouble, a hollowed-out dead tree.

"Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble, a mushroom mix makes powder for tricks!" The old woman inside announced dramatically as they entered. "Your father again, I take it, Marin? And who's your handsome young friend, heehee?"

"I'm Link. New here. Nice to meet you, ma'am." Link introduced himself with a bow. "You're right. Tarin's a raccoon."

"You say that so casually." Marin commented, giving Syrup the mushroom. "Do people turn into raccoons often around Hyrule now?"

"Maybe someday I'll tell you about the time I spent a while as a bunny rabbit." Link rolled his eyes. "I'll probably need something to drink first though."

"You have the smell of one who has commonly associated with strong magic, indeed." Syrup said as she tossed the mushroom into a cauldron and began grinding and stirring it quickly. "Very strong. Though none on you at the moment."

"I've had an interesting life." Link shrugged.

"Seems that way." Marin raised an eyebrow. "A bunny rabbit, huh? At least you weren't pink, right?" She stared as Link winced. "You're joking. You _were?_"

"Bad day." Link covered his face. "Very bad. Bad _month_, really, but that was the low point."

"Some luck you had, at least, then-you changed back." Syrup commented as Marin howled with laughter. "Be glad of that, Link."

"Oh, I am. Believe me, I am." Link agreed, deliberately ignoring Marin. "Should we come back in a few hours?"

"No, my lack of skill in potions is made up for by my ability with powders." Syrup procured a cloth bag and scooped up glowing, rainbow-colored powder from her cauldron. "There, then. A sprinkle of this will provide what you need, and ignite as well! Just take some care, as there's not much there!"

"Really?" Link blinked. "The last stuff I had wasn't too flammable." Crossing to her unlit fireplace, he tossed in a pinch, and nodded as it lit. "You _are_ good with this. I'll have to be careful not to get any on me, or anybody else for that matter."

"It's good for some monsters, though." Marin suggested, the last of her giggles dying down. "The ones you can't chop up, like buzzblobs."

"Thought I saw one of those outside." Link muttered. "I hate those things. All right, let's go track down Tarin. Thanks again, ma'am."

"Get that silly fool home, and warn him once more to be more careful about which ones he eats!" Syrup advised, waving as they left.

"Raccoon's this way." Link led her back into the forest. The return trip went smoothly, and soon they found him again. Before the raccoon could say a word, Link threw a pinch of dust into his face. "Here you go, buddy. Enjoy."

"Ah-achoo! Man, whadja do that for, huh?" The raccoon complaining, sneezing uncontrollably. "Raccoons like me-choo-our noses are sensitive to-choo-stuff like dust! _Aachoo!_" The last sneeze had enough force to propel him violently, bouncing off several trees. Link and Marin turned their heads to watch him ricochet until finally, in a blast of light, Tarin was sitting there once more, looking woozy. "Whoaa... what happened? Last thing I remember's biting into a big juicy mushroom... then wham! Out like a light! Dreamed I was a raccoon..."

"Oh, boy." Marin sighed, putting a hand to her head. "I'll explain it on the way back home, dad. Let's get going."

"You two go on ahead." Link said, feeling a hunch. "I want to explore a bit more. I'll remember to stay out of the swamp, though."

"All right. Mister Write lives up here-say hello if you meet him." Marin helped Tarin back to his feet. "Come on."

"Why're you looking so cranky, Marin?" Tarin asked plaintively. "I didn't do nothing!"

"Hoo boy. Probably for the best I'm skipping _that_ conversation." Link shook his head, walking north, where he'd tried to go before Tarin had gotten him lost. Entering a glade, his eyes were caught by a large, decorative key lying on a tree stump. The hilt had a carved jewel shaped like some long-tailed insect upon it, and the metal was at least gold-plated.

"Hold on there, buddy. Not so fast." Hoad's voice echoed through the clearing as Link crossed to the key. "Not bad, but not just yet." Looking up, he saw the Lord reclining up in the branches overhead, along with another woman. "Well, Sleel? What do you think?"

"I like him." The woman, Lady Sleel, murmured with a smile. Though less androgynous, she bore a strong resemblance to Morm; her skin, hair, and clothes were nearly identical, though she wore a dress slit up the sides to the waist. Beautiful as she was, her eyes had a cruel glint to them as she looked down on Link. "I like men who can chop moblins like firewood. A shame he didn't want to deal with the raccoon the same way."

"Eh, Gie'd throw a fit if he did that anyways. She thinks that buffoon's hilarious." Hoad shrugged. "Besides, nothing wrong with putting a little thought into things. Smart warriors are living warriors, and all."

"This coming from the one who thinks with his fists more than his head." Sleel said mockingly.

"Are you quite done?" Link asked, unamused. "If you don't want me for anything, I've got things to do today. I'll be taking that key, then."

"Maybe not so smart after all." Sleel murmured. "That key is of no use to you, boy. It unlocks my twin's home. I have a better idea." From nowhere, she pulled another key, this one with what looked like an eel on the hilt. "Take this, instead, and come visit me some time, hmmm? I think you'd enjoy it if you did."

"Thanks, but no thanks." Link shook his head. "Sorry, but I don't trust handouts. I'll stick with what I've got."

"Why would you want-" Sleel started to ask, then frowned. "Oh. _Oh._ You're like _that,_ are you? A pity. I'll warn you, then, my brother's uninterested in men. Hardly a surprise that Hoad picked you up, though."

"Sleel, what the _hell-_" Hoad started to shout furiously, then paused as she began laughing hysterically. Looking at Link's face, the fiery Lord joined in.

"This is why I don't get along with people like you." Link muttered.

"Thin-skinned, aren't you? Relax, boy. I was only teasing." Sleel assured him, still shaking with mirth. "A man without interest in women wouldn't still be staying with Marin. You're absolutely infuriating Morm, you know. He's wanted her ever since she came, but Fade's kept him at bay. And here you come, and she's all over you. No wonder he's off sulking with Gie."

"That's why I wanted the key, actually." Link lied smoothly, ignoring the jibes at Marin. "Don't want any bad blood between us, if I'll be here awhile, so I figured I'd better go talk with him before it got any worse. I'm reasonable like that."

"Well, isn't that sweet." Hoad barked with laughter again. "More like you don't want anything _unfortunate_ happening to the girl if Fade's not looking, right? Chill, kid. That jerk might be lazy, but he keeps his eye on things." He glanced over at Sleel. "Well, what do you think? Should we let him go have his talk?"

"Perhaps." Sleel stood, then jumped down from the tree, landing on the ground before Link. "You said you wouldn't mind if I amused myself with the boy. How about that, then? Play with me a bit, handsome man, and you can have the key. _If_ you win."

"Playing, huh?" Link drew his sword. "Somehow, I don't think you mean the way you were before."

"A smart man, after all, perhaps." Sleel agreed, as the air around them took on a sudden chill. Before Link's eyes, a tree to her left became covered with frost, the ice creeping up it in a matter of seconds. The pale woman's hand crept onto its side, and with a jerk of movement, she shattered it, shards flying away in all directions, though none of them hit anybody. In Sleel's hand, a single long piece of frozen wood remained, tipped with a sharp point. Shifting her grip, she aimed her spear at Link. "I think I'll enjoy this!"

"I don't judge, lady." Link wisecracked, keeping his eyes on her. "Whatever you like. Hope you don't mind if I get it over with as soon as possible."

"Men. No stamina at all." Sleel scoffed, then darted to the left with surprising speed. As Link turned, her spear darted out and tapped his off-arm. Sleel jumped away as his sword slashed out in response, smiling. "I prefer to take my time. Enjoy myself."

"First blood!" Hoad crowed. "Watch out, kiddo! We're not amateurs, any of us!"

"So I noticed." Link growled, bringing his shield up. When next Sleel struck, he deflected it, then sliced at the wood.

"Clever boy, but not clever enough!" Sleel exulted as his blade simply bounced off. "Don't be fooled by appearances. My spear is part of my essence-it'll take more than you have to make an impression, little boy!"

"Talk, talk, talk." Link held his ground still, waiting for her to strike again. He'd fought many things in his career, but this was his first time against an experienced spear-wielding enemy. "Can I at least assume it's not poisoned?"

"What did I just tell you?" Sleel stepped back, bringing the point of her weapon up to her face and licking the blood off of it, so slow and dramatically that it had to have been deliberate. "I prefer extended bouts. Poison would ruin that."

"You're overdoing the whole vamp thing, Sleel." Hoad commented. "Dial it down a notch, huh?"

"Again, this coming from you?" Sleel said scornfully, jumping back as Link rushed her. "Ha! Nice try, but like Hoad said, we're hardly amateurs. Just because I'm talking doesn't mean I'm not paying attention!"

"It was worth a shot." Link shrugged, faking calm despite some worry. She clearly had the advantage of range, and was agile enough to maintain that. _How do I touch her?_ Holding his shield up again, he kept facing her as she circled him, striking again and again. He deflected her strikes, but made no more moves to attack. Each time, he let his shield slip a little more to the left, exposing an inch more of his torso.

"Are you tiring out already?" Sleel asked smugly. "I'd thought you'd have more in you."

"He's pretty beat up from the shipwreck." Hoad spoke up. "Go easy on him, huh? Don't kill him."

"I wasn't intending on it. That would spoil the fun." Sleel promised, lashing out. "I just want a fair taste, is all!" This time, her spear plunged deeper, and the shield failed to deflect it, leaving it to stab into his right shoulder. "Got you!"

"Other way around." Link disagreed with a pained smile of his own. Dropping his shield from his left hand, he grabbed the end of the spear, and shoved sharply downward. Despite Sleel's skill, he had far more strength in his arms, and the weapon was jerked from her hands, the butt rising up to smash her own chin. Before she could recover, Link was on her, dropping the spear to deliver a mighty overhead blow with both hands.

"You-!" Sleel stumbled, the blade biting deep, and he kept on her, hacking and slashing repeatedly. The wounds were odd; instead of blood, the liquid that spilled was jet black, and inside was only more darkness, with no muscle or bone showing, let alone organs. Link's final blow took her across the waist; screaming, she seemed to fall into the earth, melting into a flat, two-dimensional shadow.

"So, as I thought." Link said, sheathing his sword. "You're not human. Not even close."

"We never claimed to be." Hoad shrugged. "Looks like you lost this time, Sleel."

"Losing to a man like this isn't bad." Sleel murmured, the shadow reflecting her shape if not her image. "I hope you don't think I'm dead, though, boy. We'll meet again... and next time, we'll have just as much fun. Look forward to it." The shadow flickered away, dancing across the ground through the trees, and was gone.

"She's right, you know. Being 'killed' in that form will only take about twenty-five percent of her 'power' away." Hoad explained, not making any effort to budge from his spot in the branches. "She'll need to rest for a couple days if she wants to recover that, but it's not enough of an imbalance to actually affect the 'ice' on the island."

"I hope you realize you're talking gibberish." Link said bluntly. "I have no idea what you're going on about."

"Not my problem." Hoad shrugged. "Just saying, she'll be back. _You_, on the other hand, might want to track down a fairy for those wounds. Should be one around here somewhere."

"Thanks." Link muttered, taking the key from the stump. "I'll do that." Fairies were gentle folk, with healing magic they were glad to use on any passersby. "Let me ask you something, while I'm here. You're the one who brought me here, right? So that means you've got 'jurisdiction' over me more than the other seven."

"In a nutshell, yeah." Hoad agreed, looking curious now. "So, what's the deal?"

"Deal's this." Link took a deep breath before continuing, hoping he'd judged the angry Lord's nature correctly. "Is it okay with you if I go beat the crap out of your pal Morm?"

For a moment, Hoad was silent, and Link was afraid he'd made a mistake. Then he exploded with laughter, almost falling out of the tree. "You're something, kiddo! _Asking_ me to let you pound on Morm! I _knew_ I was right about you!" The laughter died down, and he grinned savagely at Link, eyes burning. "Yeah, sure. Go right ahead! Hell, don't stop with him, if you want! Don't blame me if he kills your ass, though. Him or any of the others."

"Wasn't planning on it." Link smiled back coldly. "Looks like I owe you one, then. I'll pay you back someday."

"You do that." Hoad stood. "I'm off, then. Have fun, and make sure you give me one hell of a show!" Bending his knees, he jumped, and was gone.

"Oww." Link clutched his shoulder wound once Hoad was gone. "Been a while since I've been hurt this badly. That jerk was right-I'd better find a fairy. Don't want to go back to Marin and Tarin looking like this."

"Hoo! One hides in the bushes to the east of here." The owl said as he flew down, perching on the stump where the key had been. "A bold first step, on your quest to wake the dreamer, defeating one of the eight. Be warned, though; their true strengths and forms are far greater than the illusions they wear as they walk."

"I figured as much." Link shrugged. "I'm kind of used to this kind of stuff. I'll be honest, though. I don't know anything about waking any dreamer. I just want out."

"Much of mystery you will find on this Island of Koholint, lad. It is good that you are experienced in such things." The owl approved. "As for leaving this island, that is why you must wake the Wind Fish! It is watching you, hoo... but for now, your path leads to the Tail Cave, hidden away between the beach and the village. One of the eight lives there, protecting the instrument that shall be their undoing, in your hands."

"Morm, right?" Link nodded. "I was going to pay a visit to him anyways. We've got a few things to talk about. Might as well pick up this instrument while I'm there, though. Thanks for the directions; I wasn't really sure I wanted to ask anybody in the village."

"I am glad to assist you, hoo!" The owl's eyes seemed to smile. "Now and in the future. Stay alive, and triumph, young man! The Wind Fish waits! Hoot!" Spreading his wings, he was gone once more.

"Right. Fairy, then back to Marin's." Link decided. "I'll go take care of business tomorrow." Picking his shield up, he set off back through the woods.

* * *

"Tch. As I thought." Link rolled his eyes, unable to force himself through any more of the book on swordsmanship. "All fancy tricks. Good way to kill yourself. Boy, am I glad I learned the _right_ way. Some stuff just doesn't translate into print." Shaking his head, he replaced it on the shelf in the town library, and pulled out an atlas of Koholint Island instead. He'd gone through books on swords, shields, and bombs so far, plus a strange one that claimed to be about the island's "dark secrets and mysteries" but was written in incomprehensible lines.

He hadn't wanted to lie to Marin and Tarin, so on his third day, Link had explained that he felt like visiting the library, on the southern edge of town. They'd had other business, as he'd hoped, so he'd gone, intending to spend an hour or so there before moving on. He'd never been that much of a reader, so that was about all he felt up for. Putting the atlas back up, he left, waving at a pair of the quadruplets who were playing ball outside as he went south.

It didn't take long for him to find the crevice in the cliffs on the path down to the beach. After a few twists and turns, it ended in sheer faces on three sides, one of which contained a wide-mouthed cavern opening. Steel bars kept it inaccessible, and before it were three statues, larger versions of the insect on the key he'd found. A moment's search found a keyhole in the center one, and using it brought the bars down, opening the way.

"Summer vacation's over, then." Link muttered absently to himself as he walked inside. "Time to get back to work."

The Tail Cave seemed to have been carved out of solid stone, smooth and polished, sloping downward as Link walked. Statues of rocklops, one-eyed hulking golems, gave Link pause at the entrance, but these seemed only statues in truth, meant for decoration. The numerous firepits were placed similarly, far more than were necessary to provide illumination, and burning strangely without any visible fuel.

"This place was designed by Morm, all right." Link muttered. "It's got that jerk's showiness all over it." Shaking his head, he kept walking down and in. When monsters attacked, he wasn't surprised one bit; a pair of batlike keese swooped down, screeching, and he chopped them out of the sky. Their companion gave him pause-a land squid of a type familiar to him, save for the hard black shell covering its top. A few experimental chops confirmed his suspicions-his sword barely put a scratch on it.

"Somebody's been playing around with evolution." Link growled irritably, battering it away with sword and shield. "Can't say I like that. Another one I owe them." An experimental chop at the legs below failed as it skittered back; the beast was surprisingly mobile. Shaking his head, Link simply pushed it back until he found what he'd been looking for-a wide, narrow pit he was able to knock the squid into. A storage chest on the other side of the trench held a small key, which he pocketed. From there, the cave forked to both sides.

The decision of which to take was made for him when a pair of animated skeletons began advancing from the right, grinning silently. "Stalfos. Just what my day needed." The bonemen were just as irritating as he remembered, springing back from all but the deepest swings of his sword. It took a few minutes to hack both to pieces, but when he did, he was rewarded with another chest at the end of the path, this one containing a map.

"All right, let's see here." Link muttered, unrolling the parchment. "I don't believe this. It's actually shaped like this bug, whatever it is." He frowned; the shape of its body was starting to seem oddly familiar, but he couldn't quite place it yet. Shrugging, he examined the map further. "Says the only way on from here is one-way..." He glanced over at the north wall, where there was some odd door-shaped panel of stone with an impression like a human body. "Rather avoid that, thanks. So, the other way."

The question of the insect was answered after he made a right turn on the left path, when a familiar foe charged him. "Moldorms! Of _course!_" A moldorm was a terrifying beast from far-off desert islands; adult males were bigger than bull moose, and would kill and eat anything they came across. Those were few and far between, though, as they usually killed each other as well; what was charging Link now was a juvenile his own size, its carapace still soft. Made of spherical segments of descending size from the head, it moved in erratic curves and turns as it eyed him hungrily.

"If these are here, is there an adult, too?" Link wondered aloud, cutting it down. "Man, I hope not." Another one beckoned from the right, though the path continued straight as well; after a moment's thought, he went for the beast, killing it like he had its brother.

If he'd been in a normal part of the world, Link would have shuddered to think of the amount of labor that must have gone into carving out the Tail Cave. Each wall was absolutely smooth and flat, and the floors and ceilings so as well, though still inclining downward. By now, he was probably underneath Mabe Village, if he was any judge. The stone was grey one moment, white the next, then brown, red or yellow. In some rooms, it was even more fantastic colors. Despite the monsters, though, it felt empty, even tomblike. It would have given a lesser adventurer the chills.

The paths kept splitting, to the point that Link would have lost track of them without a map. Soon, though, he was forced to turn back from more than one by pits that crossed the entire hall, too wide to jump over, and deep enough to be fatal if he fell in. He had the feeling there was some gimmick, but he couldn't find it. His efforts were sat least somewhat fruitful; he used the key, found another, and also claimed what seemed to be a piece of a stone tablet with writing on it. In the end, though, he was forced to go back to where he'd first found the moldorm larva, and go straight from there.

"Wondered when one of those would pop up..." Link muttered to himself as he dodged a bladed wall trap. Past that, he found a dead-end with a staircase leading downward, and a stone slab on another wall, missing a piece. Pushing in what he'd found, he nodded; it fit. "Okay. 'Turn aside the spined ones with a shield'? What the heck does that-oh." A scuffling sound drew his eye to the stairs, where a pair of enemies were emerging. Like the squid, they were familiar but altered, much more dangerous in their current form.

Headless turtles had been bizarre monsters already; four legs emerged from their shells, but nothing else. To fight them in the past, Link had been forced to use a sledgehammer, something he now lacked. The fact that these ones had nasty-looking spikes on their shells was hardly encouraging, and neither was the sudden turn of speed they put on as they sensed him, charging like bulls. Sidestepping one, Link raised his shield against the other as advised. The enemy hit, and though it forced him back, it failed to hurt him. More importantly, its rebound actually flipped it onto its back.

"Well. That seems to have done the trick." Link blinked, then shrugged, stabbing down into the exposed underside. The second spiny was no smarter, and was dispatched just as efficiently. "Wonder who left _that_ there? Doubt Morm wanted to give me a hint... Hoad? Well, I'm not turning it down." Descending the stairs, he passed through a narrow tunnel ending in another staircase back up, much cruder than the rest of the Tail Cave.

There, he finally found something new-walking brown mushrooms on stumpy feet, with smirking faces on their caps. Whatever they were, they were easily dispatched-he actually killed the first simply by jumping off the stairs onto it, crushing it flat like an empty box. On the other side of the tunnel, he found only a short hall that ended in a pair of treasure chests surrounded by more statues and firepits. When blade traps shot out from both walls this time, he was ready, and dodged back, crossing while they were busy retracting.

To his disappointment, one chest was empty, but the other one held something strange-a feather the size of his hand. Picking it up, he suddenly felt light on his feet. On a hunch, he tried a jump, and practically sailed into the air, more than a foot on a simple hop. Grinning, he turned around, and easily hurdled the blade traps. "Well, now. Thank you very much, Morm. I'll be taking this." The trenches that had barred his way would be easily surmounted now, he guessed.

His guess turned out to be correct. The first pit he hurdled brought him yet another chest, this one containing a second unique key. Jet-black enameled, it bore a horned head on the end. "Oh, goddesses. This old gimmick too? Are there _any_ original thoughts happening here?" Muttering his disapproval, Link went on to jump the other hurdle, finding a locked door his small key from earlier opened. By his map, it went to the last part of the Tail Cave he hadn't explored yet, save for one odd room he hadn't been able to find the entrance to.

When he passed through the door, he almost thought he had found what he was looking for; a blank, perfectly square room of purple stone. Aside from wall torches, there was nothing there but the doors to the left and behind. It was otherwise empty, or so he thought until he walked through, and the doors both slammed shut. A moment later, somebody fell upon him, and he swore aloud at his own inattention.

"Hi, Link!" Gie greeted him happily, hugging him. Her touch was neither hot nor cold, but warm; what made it unsettling was the feeling of motion, as if other living things were moving beneath her skin. Releasing him, she jumped back before he could draw his sword. "What are you doing here? This is Morm's place!"

"Hoad's orders." Link explained carefully, keeping his eyes on her; despite her appearance, he knew she would be just as dangerous as the others. "He told me I should come here and talk a few things over with Morm."

"But Morm doesn't want you here." She argued. "We were having a nice time before he saw you coming in. Can't you come back tomorrow?"

"Somehow, I doubt that would be a good idea." Link shook his head. "At the least, I'd find all the locks changed."

"Please?" She whined, giving him soulful eyes. "Come on, Link. If you'll be nice to me, I'll be nice to you..."

"Sleel said something similar." Link gave her an unimpressed look. "It didn't turn out to be nice at all. Still not sure whether she meant it that way from the start, or if she just gets distracted easily. Either way, you're overplaying your part a bit, lady. You can go ahead and cut it out entirely, if you want. I don't scare easy. Let's talk straight, huh?"

"Really?" Gie suddenly straightened her back, her facial expression changing to a more controlled smirk. "Well, all right. If you insist. Remember, this was your idea. Morm doesn't want you here, Link, and he doesn't really care what Hoad told you to do. That's why he sent me out to get rid of you. I'll say it one more time. Will you take a hike if I ask nicely?"

"Sorry." Link echoed her expression. "I'm bad at taking advice."

"Okay. We do it the way that's _not_ nice, then." Gie extended a hand, an acorn appearing between her fingers, and dropped it into a crack in the floor. Instantly, it sprouted and grew, a tree rising to the ceiling in only a few moments, impossibly fast between them. Just as quickly, the leaves aged and fell, covering Gie entirely, followed by the branches. The remaining cylinder of wood fell to the side, tearing the roots off. Now spanning the entire room between them, it grew wooden spikes all along it as a final step, even as leaves, branches and roots all began to melt into the air.

When Gie was exposed once more, she was no longer even remotely human. A blob of pale violet with flippers for hands and no feet whatsoever, she also had a single antenna dangling from the back of her head. Her mouth was a fish-lipped, goofy smile, and her eyes bulging, rolling wildly. "Now you'll play with me whether you like it or not!"

"Is this your true form, then?" Link asked, holding sword and shield at the ready, eyes on Gie. "Can't say it's what I expected."

"Nope!" She giggled. "You'll have to come crash _my_ place if you want to see that!" Her flippers shoved the log with what had to be inhuman strength; it began rolling towards Link at a good clip. "Catch!"

"Is that an invitation?" Link asked calmly, the giant feather in his shield hand. A strong leap carried him over the rolling log, which crashed into the wall behind him with enough force to bounce back.

"Once we're done here? Sure!" Gie's voice came from above, her shadow darkening him. When she landed, it was with the weight of a much larger human, flattening him to the floor. Giggling again, she bounced off, around the room several times more before springing over the log and shoving it back the other way.

"Great." Link growled, rising just in time to hurdle the log again. This time he was ready when Gie pounced, slashing at her with enough force to knock her away. "I'll take you up on that!" He tried to follow her to attack further, but she sprung away with surprising agility.

"You have to win, first!" She reminded him, reaching the log again and pushing it once more. When Link hurdled it, she jumped to his side this time, then came at him in a tackle that surprised him, smashing him against the wall. "Otherwise you'll be dead!"

"Good to have that cleared up." Link snarled, managing to cut her again before she bounded away. Like Sleel, she bled black, and even in this shape, her skin still moved unpleasantly when they touched. "Let's take care of that, then!" He hurdled the log on her fourth shove, and this time, met her charge with the whirling blade strike. Focusing on his blade even as he jumped the log, he unleashed all the strength his arm could contain, spinning around in a full horizontal circle that caught Gie in mid-jump and smashed her away from him into the wall, with a huge cut opened across the span of her body.

"Owwwww!" Gie yelped in pain, sliding off the wall after a moment. "What the heck was-yah!"

"Forgot to warn you." Link pressed on her, pinning her against the wall and slashing her again and again to keep her there. "I play rough. Sorry." His last attack deepened the wound from the whirling blade strike, to the point where she was almost cleaved in half.

Howling in pain, Gie began going off like she was filled with gunpowder, the surface of her blobby body erupting in explosions. Startled, Link jumped away just in time, before the last detonation blew away any traces of her physical form, leaving only the shadow on the floor. Unlike with Sleel, Gie's shadow immediately began to flicker oddly, and was gone within moments..

"Hrm." Link raised an eyebrow; one spark of light had remained from the explosion. Looking closer, he saw that it was a fairy. "Where'd that come from? Oh well, I'm not complaining." The sprite, seeing him, obligingly flew over to heal him, then flew away without saying a word. Feeling his bruises fade, Link nodded and walked through the door, onward. He doubted that Gie was actually dead, any more than Sleel had been, even if she'd disappeared. For now, though, it was time for the main act.

Twice more, bladed wall traps sprung from the hall on both sides of him as the stone darkened into black. Both times, Link hung back and then ran past while they were resetting. He passed another staircase, but declined to explore it this time, continuing forward instead. Through one more door, he entered another square, nearly featureless room. This time, his opponent was sitting in an armchair, reading from a book. .

"So you've triumphed over both Gie and my sweet sister as well." Morm said calmly without looking up. "Sleel will probably simply be all the more interested in you now, but I daresay Gie will be in a foul mood for some time. She might even have reformed and attacked you again, had you not been here."

"What's being here got to do with it?" Link asked warily. "Is this going to be more confusing stuff like the kind Hoad spouts?"

"Don't ask questions if you're not willing to understand the answers." Morm shook his head. "Pitiful. This is my lair, and the place on the island where 'earth' is strongest. Too strong, in fact, for the other seven to bear once rendered incorporeal. She was driven away. So much for my entertainment." Closing the book, he gave Link a flat, unfriendly look. "Well? Out with it, boy. Why have you come here? You're bothering me. _And_ you've stolen my Roc's feather."

"Oh, is that what this is?" Link examined the feather with exaggerated interest. "I always thought those were just a myth, though I suppose I of all people should know better. You're kind of calling the kettle black while being a pothead, though. I hear you have something that was _mine_. How about we trade?"

"Setting aside the fact that that's not how this would go, I don't even have your silly boomerang at the moment." Morm explained. "A servant of mine stole it and ran. He will be punished, of course, once I track him down. No more dilly-dallying. Explain your presence."

"I should think that would be obvious at this point." Link said with just as much condescension, making a small motion with his sword. "We've got a few things to talk about. Let's start with Marin, and go from there."

"Oh, please. Spare me the dramatics." Morm rolled his eyes. "I never touched the girl, and I have no intention of doing so as long as that worthless lout Fade has his eyes on her-and probably other things as well. Don't tell me you came here on _her_ account with a straight face."

"Ha." Link chuckled lightly. "You're not as stupid as you look. Fine. I need off this island, and it seems you guys won't let me. So, I'm dealing with that problem, the best way I know how."

"You _need_ to leave, or you _want_ to leave?" Morm asked, smiling. "In time, young man, you will learn the difference between the two. For now, though, setting aside the obvious logical fallacies implicit in your assumption as well, I would think you would start with Hoad, as he is your personal patron."

"I'll get to him eventually." Link shrugged. "I'm guessing I'll have to take all eight of you down, anyways. You were the closest to Mabe Village, you tick me off, and you look weak. Three good reasons to start with you."

"I look weak, do I?" Morm's eyes narrowed, and he stood up, idly kicking the armchair away to a corner of the room with inhuman force. "Well then, we have something in common. Or rather, two things; you've managed to irritate me. Congratulations. Allow me to show you what you're _really_ dealing with by challenging us, then, as a reward. I shall simply have to apologize to Hoad afterwards; it will be grating, but worth it nonetheless."

"Going to transform, are you?" Link taunted him further. "Turn into some ugly freak like Gie? No big deal."

"Hardly." Morm's smile turned ugly, as the room began to shake around them. "I am throwing _off_ my transformed state. Prepare to behold my _true_ form, boy, and make your peace with the goddesses while you're at it. You'll be returning to them soon enough!"

Two great cracks appeared in the floor, on either side of them, and the ground beyond them fell away. What was left was a circle of floor hanging between the door Link had entered by, and another opposite it. From the chasms to the sides, insects poured up in waves, but made no move to attack Link; instead, they swarmed over Morm, flowing into the orifices in his head. Disgusted, Link stared as the Lord expanded like a balloon, bulging more and more until finally he burst, skin melting away into sand and dust in the air.

What emerged was a beast both terrifyingly familiar and oddly alien to Link. Larger than a bull moose, the many-legged insect was formed of spherical segments, smallest at the tail and largest at the head. Unlike the younger specimens, each segment save the smallest was covered in an exoskeleton harder than steel. There was where familiarity ended; the armor was black rather than green, and the head entirely different, with slitted eyes and pincer jaws. It was like an illustration drawn by somebody who'd never actually seen one, but Link still knew it for what it was supposed to be.

"Morm." Link whispered, still shocked. "_Moldorm._"

"Bzzzzz!" The beast recoiled, surprised itself now. "You know my true name? _How?_ You've barely been here three days!"

"I've fought moldorms before, and killed them." Link explained, shaking off his stupor. "Never one quite like you, I'll admit... but I bet you'll die the same way!"

"We'll just see about that, brat!" Morm's voice sounded like a furious buzzing now. He charged Link, jaws working furiously. "Bzzzzzz! Die, outsider!"

There was no time for witty banter now; unlike with Sleel and Gie, Link recognized the massive threat this beast posed, and concentrated entirely on survival. Bringing up his shield, he made a spinning dodge to the left, moving along the beast's side quickly until he could bring his sword down on the last segment, at the end of its tail. A lumpy, misshapen sphere, it was the only part of an adult moldorm's body that was vulnerable, and severing it completely would cause the monster's death. If he could.

"Bzzzzz! You know that as well?" Morm hissed in fury as the first strike sank in, whipping his head around at Link. The young hero was already moving in the opposite direction, running around the edge of the platform. A normal moldorm's body automatically followed the path of its head, and he was hoping this one would be bound by the same limitations. A hope that was dashed when the tail lashed out, smashing him in the chest. He managed to stab it again, but then he was falling into the chasm. At the last moment, he managed to grab one of the lumps on the end, hanging from it almost below floor level.

"Ha! Nice move, bzzzzzz." Morm twisted around, bringing his pincer jaws close to Link's hand. "Now then, will you let go and fall, or shall I chew your hand off for you?"

"Hey. What the hell is this?" Link demanded, ignoring him. His eyes were locked on what was in the basement, at eye level now. Three human skeletons hung from ropes attached to the ceiling, clad in rotting scraps of dresses.

"Some of those I bring to this island are less than grateful." Morm replied calmly, as if he was talking about the weather. "I prefer to be able to educate them, but if stubbornness prevails... I am not a man to be denied."

"You're not a man." Link snarled, incensed. Bringing his sword up, he pierced the tail, and the resulting reflexive recoil pulled him back up, flinging him into the air. He landed on the floor with jarring force, knocking the wind out of him, but rolled away and then rose to his feet as Morm screeched and raged. "You're a corpse. This settles it-you're scum, Morm. If you won't die, then I'll just kill you again and again, as many times as it takes!"

"Ignorance will only get you so far!" Morm howled, charging him again. "And hardly to bliss, bzzzzz!"

Link fell silent once more, eyes burning, as he stood fearlessly in Morm's path. At the last moment, he used the Roc's Feather to spring into the air, landing on the beast's back. Immediately, the tail flung him off and away, but not before he managed to slash once more. The rearmost section was flopping around loosely with every movement now, half-severed.

"Close, but no cigar!" Morm said triumphantly, bearing down even as Link landed with bone-jarring impact. "Nowhere to run now!"

Link's only response was to ram his shield between the pincers of his maw, locking it in place. Immediately, he proceeded to climb onto the head and then down the length of the body, holding on tight as Morm thrashed and crashed around in an effort to dislodge him. He kept going gamely, inching his way down until he was within range of the weak spot and could hack at it, holding on with his legs-something that would have been impossible had he not ridden a horse bareback many times in his career.

When he felt crushing pressure and massive pain hit his torso from behind, he didn't stop. He knew Morm had caught him, and that his only hope was to press the attack, until with one last mighty swing, the smallest segment fell off, the nerves and veins and muscles severed completely through. The jaws opened in involuntary shock, and Link slipped out, diving across the floor. Morm was frozen, paralyzed, as black blood spilled from the wound. His exoskeleton began lightening in color, turning tan and grainy, until a sand sculpture of a moldorm was all that stood there before falling apart.

"Done." Link said quietly, as the man's shadow appeared on the floor. "You lose, Moldorm. One down."

"Stop calling me that!" Morm yelled, flickering like Gie had as soon as he said the name. "You think you've won? You're nearly dead on your feet! I'll finish you off!"

"Why should I, Moldorm?" Link repeated, smiling coldly as the shadow flinched and flickered faster. "You seem to be having a bad reaction to your name, Moldorm. Why is that?"

"I'll murder you in your sleep!" Morm threatened, voice filled with audible pain. "Don't think this is over!"

"I'll be waiting, Moldorm." Link replied, unafraid. "I know your name and your nature, Moldorm. Be gone from this place!" The last repetition did it; without another coherent word, Morm's shadow faded away, still screaming. Once the sound had trailed off, Link walked forward. As much as he wanted to leave and find a fairy, he wanted to see what was beyond even more.

The last room in the Tail Cave contained only two things, both prominent. In the center of the room was what seemed to be a fountain of dirt and pebbles, spewing forth like water and then melting away as it poured over the floor. Link was no magician, but he knew the art when he saw it, and the fount was practically glowing with power. Beyond it, on an altar, was a cello which was _actually_ glowing, lit up from the inside. Walking around the fountain, Link picked it up, reading an inscription on the back.

"The Full Moon." Link shrugged, then blinked as the bow began moving across its strings of its own will, playing without a hand to use it. It was only a short tune, but Link knew it regardless; the opening of what Marin had been singing the morning before. As it played, the room around him grew brighter and brighter as well, until he had to cover his eyes. When he opened them again, he was standing at the entrance of the Tail Cave, out under the setting sun.

"Hoot! That is an instrument of the sirens, lad." The owl's voice called his attention to where it perched, on a nearby tree. "I must beg your forgiveness-at first, I did not truly believe you were real. But if you can defeat one, you can defeat all."

"No problem. I've seen things I've had trouble believing too." Link shrugged, examining the cello further. Outside, its glow was barely noticeable. "So, what is this thing, anyways? Do you know why Morm was protecting it?"

"The eight instruments of the sirens have the power to wake the Wind Fish." The owl explained. "It is no coincidence that they each hold one, hoot. Collect them all, awaken the Wind Fish from its slumber, and you shall leave Koholint as you desire. Do not worry about the Full Moon's repossession overly; the children of nightmares cannot actually touch them."

"Which implies that Morm moved into that place. He didn't build it himself." Link said, thinking aloud. "I'm guessing you were here before they were, and that's how you know so much about it."

"Hoot hoot! That is one way of putting it." The owl bobbed his head. "Now then, I was instructed to give you direction. The next closest lair is in Goponga Swamp, north of the woods. Heal your wounds, then seek the next instrument! Hoot, indeed!" In a flurry of feathers, he was gone once more.

"Gie, then." Link remembered. "That works out just fine." He winced, clutching his wounds. "But first, a fairy, and then I'd better get back. Hope Marin and Tarin aren't waiting up for me. She'll probably be cranky enough that I'm not back anyways... oh man, I _really_ hope she didn't go looking for me at the library." Slipping the cello into his pack, Link set off back up towards the path, as the day slowly ended above him.

* * *

"Ah, Sleel. Morm." The old man standing at the window said as the sixth and seventh of their number joined them, turning around. "I'm glad to see that you finally made it."

"My dear brother was occupied, Greeper." Sleel explained. "An engagement which did not end well for him."

"I noticed the imbalance." The small child said from his chair, not looking up from the notes he was compiling. "You lost half of your 'power,' Morm. The imbalance with 'air' will be severe."

"I'll recover it soon, Sliyes. After I kill him." Morm vowed. "Which I'll do right away. He's dead!"

"Yeah, right." Hoad was sprawled loosely in his chair. "You couldn't take him in your true form. What makes you think you can in any other?"

"Enough, both of you. This is hardly the time for squabbling." Greeper said, turning away from the window. "If Morm succeeds, all well and good. But if he doesn't, we must plan further."

"Well, we certainly can't keep meeting here." Sleel said, glancing at her twin. "Don't think I don't see you flinching, dear brother. It's highly uncomfortable for you here. Just as it would be for me in Hoad's, or Gie at Fade's. Speaking of whom, I notice he's refused to grace us with his presence once more."

"Like that's surprising?" Hoad snorted. "I went over and told him what was going down, and he just said it was our problem, and he didn't want to deal with it. Typical."

"Sleel has a point." Sliyes agreed. "Our homes are unsuited for meetings, due to the opposing natures of our 'powers.' We should procure some common ground. Speaking of which, I assume Morm is staying with you now, Sleel?"

"I won't be able to return to my own home for some time." Morm admitted crankily. "That damnable cretin has somehow blindly crashed into the correct method for banishing us. I'll be residing with my sweet sister for now, yes. One more thing to take out of his hide."

"As you wish. The two of you may run interference for now." Greeper agreed. "You may even get lucky and succeed. As for a meeting place... perhaps the castle would suffice? Prince Richard was given it by our generosity. Now we shall need it ourselves. Evicting him to his villa would be reasonable, under the circumstances."

"Harsh, Greeper." Hoad snickered. "Selling him out like that. He's yours, after all. Guess that just means you do whatever you want to him. Nah, don't get all uptight, I'm in. Matter of fact, me and the kid can take care of that. What do you say, Sliyes? Wanna go have some fun?"

"I suppose I could find the time for that." Sliyes said, smiling unpleasantly. "I can't wait to see the look on that fool's face when we tell him we're turning him out."

"You all do whatever you want." Gie spoke up; she'd been oddly silent up until then. "But it's my turn to play with him next."

"Of course." Greeper agreed. "Your home is the closest to Mabe Village aside from Morm's, so it's natural he would seek you out."

"That's not enough." Gie shook her head. "He's ticked me off. I'm going to have some fun with him."

"By all means." Greeper glanced over at the seventh member of their group, the only one to remain silent so far. "You can even go ahead and take Angish, if you'd like. Use him however you want."

"Can I really?" Gie sat up straighter, eyes turning to the largest member of their fellowship, along with everybody else's. "Yay! Thanks, Greeper! You hear that, Angish? You're with me for a while! That means you have to do what I say!"

"Yeah." Angish replied after a moment. "Okay."

"Excellent." Greeper rubbed his hands together. "That should be more than sufficient to deal with our little problem. And if it's not, we shall come up with more plans. One way or another, young Link _will_ cease to be an issue for us."

Some were scowling, others smiling, as the meeting broke up. But all seven's thoughts were on the same matter. One way or another, sooner or later, they all desired Link's death. And what they desired, they _always_ acquired.


	4. Chapter 3: Born Of Clay

_**Chapter 3:**_ _**Born Of Clay**_

_They keep me locked up in this cage _

_Can't they see it's why my brain says rage_

It was a nice night out, but Link was unable to sleep for long. Insomnia was an occasional visitor of his, but never for long; only when something was troubling him. He spent an hour lying awake in his bed before giving up and rising to practice his swordplay. He was starting to feel better, but it still wasn't quite the same as it had been prior to his accident. Fairies could only heal recent injuries, so his soreness from the accident remained even though the damage he'd taken fighting Morm had been repaired.

"Link?" Marin knocked on the door, then opened it. "What's wrong?" She was wearing a robe over her nightgown, holding a candle in one hand. "I heard the noise."

"Didn't know I was being that loud." Link said sheepishly, glad he'd at least put his hose back on. "Sorry about that. Couldn't sleep."

"Well, that happens sometimes." Marin put the candle down on a nightstand. "It's all right, I was up anyways. Having some trouble with that myself." She smiled, glancing over at the wall. "Don't worry about Tarin either. You'd have to bring a cucco into his _room_ to get him up before morning. Just feeling restless, then?"

"Something like that." Link murmured, sheathing his sword and crossing to the window. It was a beautiful night out; windy, but not raining, with the moon and stars lighting up the village. Nobody was outside except Bowwow, sleeping soundly. "Listen, Marin. I really appreciate everything you and Tarin have done for me. But..."

"You'll be leaving soon, right?" Marin guessed, walking over to join him. "You've been acting restless today. You're not really used to staying in one place for long, are you?"

"It's not that." Link shook his head. "I don't want you and Tarin getting involved in what I'll be doing. Or anybody else in this village." It was true, but there was more; if he stayed, he'd run the risk of getting too attached, and it would cloud his judgment. If he wanted to keep a clear head, he'd have to leave, and soon.

"You're going to fight the Lords and Ladies, aren't you." Marin said quietly. "Isn't there anything I can do to convince you not to? Everybody who has before... they've died, Link. Every single one of them. Do you really dislike it so much here?"

"It's not that." Link turned to look at her. "This _is_ a nice island, Marin. Maybe if I didn't have things I needed to do, in the outside world... but I do. Promises I made. Things I have to do. If I don't..." He shook his head. "I'm sorry. It's not just my life. People are depending on me."

"And getting killed will help them how, exactly?" Marin said, voice rising slightly. "It's _never_ happened, Link. Not even once. Would those people depending on you want you to throw your life away? Wouldn't they want you to be happy?"

"Marin..." Link took a deep breath, then paused, turning back to the window. Two figures in black, nearly identical, were approaching the house. "Damn. We've got company."

"I was afraid this would happen." Marin stared down. "Don't do anything foolish. One of the others will tell Fade. He'll come chase them off. He always does."

"They're not here for you." Link pulled his tunic on and took up his shield. "At a guess, Sleel's only here to watch. Morm, on the other hand... I didn't think he'd be back up so fast. Looks like I'll have to deal with him again."

"Why would Morm be-" Marin's voice broke off as she realized what he'd said.

"Yeah." Link shot her a small, reluctant smile. "I've already started. Sorry, Marin. I can't stop now even if I wanted to. Stay up here."

"As if." She snapped, recovering. "Don't trust Sleel an inch. She might go for your back while you're busy with him. I'm coming to keep an eye on her. I can't actually fight her, but she won't try anything if somebody's watching her."

"Just keep that in mind. Stay out of it." Link agreed after a moment of doubt. "Leave the rough stuff to me." They descended the stairs quickly, Marin only stopping to pick up a bottle and two glasses on the way, and walked outside. Morm and Sleel were waiting for them.

"Did you really think it would be that easy?" Morm said scornfully, having apparently regained his composure. "We don't die like you humans do, fool. Like _you_ will, here and now."

"In the words of my Uncle Al, make me." Link replied coolly.

"Oooh. Still fiesty." Sleel smirked, taking a seat on the fence. "How about it, Marin? Shall we watch these two big strong men fight each other?"

"Forgive me, Lady Sleel, but I'm not really sure how I feel about you talking about your twin brother like that." Marin replied diplomatically, sitting down on the porch and opening the bottle. "Watching Link trounce him, on the other hand, sounds like fun to me. Shall we both cheer for one of them while we have some wine?"

"My, aren't we both confident." Morm raised an eyebrow. "You seem to be forgetting how things work on this island, Marin. I'd educate you, but I'm busy enough already without Fade getting involved. As for _you_, brat, allow me to demonstrate your own mortality to you." From the sky, a boulder fell, landing before him with a thud that shook the earth. A hilt protruded from the top, which Morm grasped. In a blur of motion, he cut and slashed and swiped, and the rock crumbled into dust, leaving a saber in the Lord's hand.

"So, you're a swordsman too." Link said calmly, drawing his own blade. "Let's see how good you are!" Moving forward, he slashed at Morm's side, but the Lord met his sword with his own. With strength beyond what he should have been capable of, he turned the blade aside, and continued forward to stab at Link's arm before pulling back.

"Better than you are, boy." Morm replied, smiling smugly. "You have skill, I'll admit, but it's not enough to match me!" He hung back, waiting for Link's next strike. When it came at his legs, he once again forced the blade away with a simple twist of his saber and arm, and stabbed Link's arm a second time. "This won't take long at all. Without your sword arm, you'll have no hope!"

"We'll see." Link muttered noncommittally, hanging back and thinking. As he'd guessed, Morm seemed reluctant to attack first, so he was able to consider his options. _All right, fighting fair won't get me anywhere. Let's try it another way, then._ Moving forward, he slashed at Morm's off-arm.

"Nice try!" Morm sneered, catching his blade once more. "But no luck! That's three times-URK!" He grunted in pain as Link slammed his shield into his face.

"Gotcha." Link followed it up by slicing down at Morm's leg; it was about all he could manage, with his right hand a bloody mess. "You were saying something about my skill?"

"Base trickery!" Morm stumbled back, spitting blood. "It won't work again, and you still can't fight for much longer like that!"

"The guy who taught me how to fight told me dirty tricks were as good a way as any to get out of a bad situation." Link shrugged carelessly, keeping up the line of patter while he slowly edged closer to Morm. "He knew what he was doing." With a sudden movement, he struck out with his shield first this time. Morm replied with his blade on instinct, and before he could recover, Link was slashing at the Lord's other leg.

"Damn you." Morm stumbled, then regained his footing. "No matter. You still won't be able to keep up-"

"Yeah." Link agreed, reaching into the pouch on his belt and throwing a pinch of magic powder into Morm's face. There was no transformative effect, but it did blind him for a moment, allowing Link to switch shield and sword; though his right arm was still feeling weak, he could at least hold the shield up with it. "Unless I do _this._"

"Ambidextrous?" Morm coughed and sneezed. "You're bluffing."

"Not quite." Link charged forward. "I'm not as good with this hand, but it should be enough to finish _you_ off." With the roc's feather in hand, he made a spectacular jump towards Morm, twisting sideways in the air and performing the whirling blade strike. With both legs wounded, the Lord's dive out of the way wasn't fast enough. Link landed roughly, wincing, but when he rose, Morm's body was dissolving into a shadow. "One more thing Uncle Al made sure I learned. Don't tell _me_ my skill's not enough, Moldorm."

"Naaaat bad." Sleel said, voice slurred, raising an empty wineglass as she stumbled to her feet. "Why dun we... huh? Whadda... Marin?" She rounded on the girl, glaring angrily. "Whuzzinat wine, huh?"

"Nothing." Marin smiled impishly at her, sipping her own glass much more carefully. "It's Terminian port. Very good, but very strong. I'm sorry, I thought you'd like it."

"Tricky little minx, aren't you?" Morm's shadow said, barely repressed fury audible. "Fine. It seems my vengeance shall have to wait until another time. Fortunately, I'm patient. Let's be off, Sleel. After all, the others have finished while we were here."

"Others?" Link jerked his head up as a scream from next door pierced the air. Turning, he saw half a dozen moblins clustered around Bowwow, apparently having beaten him into unconsciousness. Madame Meowmeow was lying on the ground, bleeding from a shallow cut above her eye. Before Link could get to them, the moblins were running off. The largest of them, a brute who looked over eight feet tall, carried Bowwow with them.

"Don't." Marin caught his hand. "You're in no shape to fight. You can find a fairy tomorrow; let's bandage that arm for now."

"But-" Link started to protest, then saw Grandma Ulrira running over to Madame Meowmeow. Looking around, he saw that Morm and Sleel had vanished while they were distracted. "Dammitall." He relaxed, dropping his sword. "All right. But tomorrow morning..."

"I know." Marin smiled sadly. "But that's tomorrow morning. We can find out what happened then. Whatever it is, though, you'd probably better be rested up." Picking Link's sword up for him, she helped him back into the house.

* * *

"Hello?" Link called as he walked up to Madame Meowmeow's house. "Is anybody awake?" He'd woken up before Marin and Tarin, and after making himself a quick snack, left the house. He had a hunch as to what the moblins were up to, but wanted to see if there was anything more. As soon as he'd found a fairy, he'd returned to the village to check.

"Grrr! My mama's sleeping, mister!" Princess, the little chomp pup, yipped at him as she bounced out of the doghouse. "Don't wake her up! What do you want? My daddy's gone too, but he'll be back, and if you were mean to mama, he'll bite you!"

"No, no." Link held up his hands. "I just wanted to ask her if the bad moblins who took your dad away said anything to her. I want to go after them and... help him fight them off."

"Oh!" Princess settled down. "Mama said they said Lady Gie said to bring daddy to her. Are you strong, mister?"

"Almost as strong as Bowwow." Link chuckled, rummaging in his pocket for the ribbon Mamahl had given him. "Thanks for telling me that. Here, would you like this?"

"Ooooooh!" Princess's eyes widened, and she jumped up to snatch it from Link's hand. "A ribbon! I need it so people can tell me apart from my brother!" Bounding back into her doghouse, she emerged with a can in her mouth. "Here, you can have my dog food for it! Mama says to trade for anything we want here!"

"She's a good woman." Link gravely accepted the can. "Thank you. I'll go find Bowwow now, and we'll beat up those moblins. Then we'll come back here, and that'll make your mama happy again too."

"You're nice, mister!" The pup said happily. "As nice as miss Marin is! You two should stay together! Have fun beating up the bad guys!"

"Why does everybody keep saying that?" Link muttered under his breath as he walked south, towards the town's public telephone booth. The next move was to call up Grandpa Ulrira, who was regarded as the most intelligent man in Mabe; the old man was shy in person, but eloquent when on the device. "I'm still not used to this thing." Link muttered, picking up the receiver and dialing Ulrira's number. "Hello?"

"Hello? Ulrira here! Link, right?" The old man said in about two seconds. "You're trying to figure out what to do, I'm guessing. Well, if they get the poor mutt to Lady Gie you're pretty much sunk, but moblins are lazy, so they probably didn't go all the way there in one night. Now, most moblins live in the Mysterious Woods, but the nastiest ones range up in Tal Tal Heights, in the north. That big fella's got to be from around there! Good luck with that!" Before Link could say anything else, the geezer hung up.

"Well." Link said after a moment. "I guess that works." Shaking his head, he made a quick stop by the library to check the atlas. "All right, the fastest route would be to head east to the Ukuku Prairie, and then go north. So that's where they'll have left guys to wait for me. _Second_ fastest... head to Syrup's through the woods, and north." Closing the atlas, he rose, smiling grimly. "Looks like I'll be teaching both masters and servants lessons in manners. Good thing for them I'm not charging tuition. I'm so nice."

"Hey ya, Link." Tarin said, walking in behind him. "Heard about what's goin' on. Old man Ulrira figured you'd be here before headin' off."

"Marin filled you in, huh?" Link guessed. "Yeah. I'll be heading north soon, though. I probably won't have much time to get Bowwow back before they bring him to Gie."

"Fair 'nuff." Tarin sat down in an armchair. "So, what're you gonna do after that, then? If'n ya pull it off?"

"I hear Bowwow can get me past the Goponga flowers." Link said. "I already taught Morm some manners. Looks like Gie's next on my list." He sat as well. "I might not be back tonight, and if I am, it'll be the last time. I can't risk having them associate you two, or the rest of the village, with what I'll be doing."

"Well, I ain't gonna tell you no." Tarin chewed his lip thoughtfully. "Bet Marin ain't too happy with ya, though. She's always been stubborn, just like her mother."

"Understatement." Link shook his head. "We were about to have an argument about it when the trouble started last night."

"That ain't too surprisin'." Tarin said, staring him in the eye. "I don't wanna hear nothin' about not comin' back, though, then. I don't care how late you are, you get on back to Mabe tonight, an' everybody there'll give ya one heck of a thank-ya party for bringin' back Bowwow 'fore you head off. You ain't goin' without sayin' goodbye proper, you hear?"

"Yeah. Yeah, all right." Link agreed, smiling despite himself. "I'll do that, as soon as I'm done with Gie. That's it, though. Tomorrow morning, I head out for good, and rough it from then on out. No arguments there."

"Wasn't plannin' on it. You got the right of it, sure 'nuff." Tarin agreed. "Don't be a stranger, though. Come back an' visit every so often, 'kay? Heck, we got them there telephones. Why not use 'em?"

"Deal." Link clasped Tarin's hand, even as he realized that the stout man didn't believe he would be able to escape, any more than Marin had. For a moment, he considered asking if they both knew something more that he didn't, but decided against it. "I'm off, then. Tell Marin for me, okay? She'll be mad I didn't say so myself, but that's the way it goes."

"So she gets angry at me instead, huh?" Tarin chuckled. "Lucky I like you, son. Good luck, and don't die, 'kay?"

"Wasn't planning on it." Link smiled. "Fortunately, I'm pretty good at that." Waving, he took the road north, straight into the woods.

The moblins in the forest seemed to have no idea what was transpiring, so he didn't have any more trouble than usual passing through. When he came out where Marin had shown him, he headed northeast, and right away the land began scaling upward, in hills and shelves. He encountered hostile pig-men who behaved much like the moblins did, but none of the kidnappers were sighted until around noon, when he caught a lucky break.

A sentry moblin squatted outside a cliffside cave, smoking a pipe. Already above him, Link was able to brain the guard with a heavy rock, dropping him silently. Climbing down, Link finished the sentry off with a quick thrust, then sneaked into the cave, eyes alert. Instantly, he met the gaze of a second moblin on the far side of the cave, who was whetting a sword. "Damn."

"Hey!" The moblin yelled, jumping to his feet. Four others in the cave looked up as well from their positions gambling, drinking or napping. "Who're you, runt? What'dja do to Davey? Come on, boys, let's get 'im!"

"One already." Link muttered to himself, lunging forward and running the closest moblin through before they could attack. "Two." As they began howling in anger, he flung the body off his blade towards the swordsman, then removed the head from another. "Three." The two left standing both began throwing spears furiously, but Link deflected them with his shield as he charged and cut them both down. "Four, five... and six." Whirling, he cut the arm off the swordsman as he attacked, then finished him. "That just leaves the big guy."

"What's going on here?" An angry roar shook the cave on cue. From an l-turn in the back, the moblin leader emerged. Clearly visible now in candlelight, he was fully two heads taller than Link, a hulking brute with stubby arms and legs that were still like tree stumps. A horned helmet rested on his head, and tusks protruded from a lantern jaw below strange eyes, jet-black and glossy. "You must be an assassin sent by Meowmeow!"

"An... assassin?" Link blinked. "Seriously?"

"You came to get me, but I'll get you!" The moblin boss roared, lowering his head and charging like a bull. Link leapt out of the way, grateful for the Roc's feather; he never would have dodged otherwise. The brute hit the wall with enough force to bounce back, lying in a heap on the floor with his eyes spinning. Turning, Link immediately took advantage of this to swing at the enemy's neck, but it was nearly nonexistent, and his sword bounced off the thick bone of his jaw instead. Recovering, he tried for an arm chop next, but by then the thug was standing back up, and he only grazed the limb.

"Come here, pretty boy." The moblin boss grunted, reaching for him, but Link was backflipping away. Growling, the boss pulled some spears from one of the corpses and began throwing them at Link rapidly. All were deflected by Link's shield, and with a bellow of rage, the boss charged again, hitting the wall the exact same way.

"You gotta be kidding me." Link muttered incredulously, scanning the stunned moblin for weak points; his ribs were probably thicker than Link's arms. After a moment of deliberation, he settled for slicing open his enemy's belly.

"You little shit!" The moblin roared, stumbling back to his feet. Amazingly, he didn't even seem to notice the guts dangling slightly out, simply holding them in with one hand while grabbing and throwing more spears with the other.

"What the hell is this?" Link muttered as he deflected them. No matter how big and strong somebody was, that much pain should have nearly crippled him, but the big moblin was still stomping around as energetically as ever. Running out of spears, he lowered his head and charged yet again. "Oh, you've got to be _kidding_ me!" Another dodge, and then Link lowered his shoulders, readying his sword. A forward thrust continued into the wound once the boss moblin was on the floor, and up into the chest. "This had _better_ do it!"

"Huh?" The moblin boss coughed up blood, red and thick. "What... the..." Groaning, he flopped over and died.

"Well, at least this one wasn't a Lord or Lady." Link muttered, then narrowed his eyes. "Or perhaps so." A shadow was mixed with the blood pouring from the dead moblin's mouth, though the corpse remained. Forming into a shape even more massive and muscular than the moblin boss's own, it regarded Link silently for a moment, then slipped away into the darkness. "That must have been one of the ones I haven't met yet. Matter of time. For now..." Walking back into the alcove the moblin boss had come from, he found Bowwow, the chomp's chain tied around a rock.

"Bow! Bow wow!" Bowwow barked happily, seeing Link. He immediately tackled him and began licking him enthusiastically once more.

"Hey! Whoa! Cut it out!" Link yelped, and Bowwow reluctantly backed off. Untying the chain, Link held the end like a leash, and Bowwow happily led the way out of the cave. "All right, boy. Before we get you home, let's go get you a snack, huh?"  
"Bowowow!" Bowwow agreed.

As Link recalled, Goponga Swamp was due east of the cave, and he was right; only a short time later, he and Bowwow found the stagnant mass of green-brown water and vegetation. There was no helping it; gritting his teeth, Link waded through the muck, trusting Bowwow to keep hungry swamp fish away from him. The chomp enthusiastically dined on both the fish and the Goponga flowers, unlovely blooms colored a brown-speckled white which ranged in size from a cucco to a wagon. The largest of these even spat fireballs at Link, but Bowwow ripped them apart cheerfully.

Gie's home was even more decorated than Morm's; the cavern mouth had the cliff wall around it carved to resemble a frightening face, with stone vines climbing up on both sides. Three oddly carved urns rested on pedestals before it, the foremost name bearing the words, "Bottle Grotto." To Link's relief, the cavern was unlocked; he'd forgotten about looking for a key.

"Gie must be expecting me." Link muttered. "Well, all well and good-eh?" Bowwow had started whining and straining away from the Grotto's entrance. "Don't like the smell of this place, boy? Can't blame you. Okay, here." Locating a sturdy tree, he tied Bowwow's chain around it. "I'll be back in a bit. Be a good boy and don't eat anybody unless they're a monster, okay?" Rubbing the chomp on top, he turned and proceeded into the entrance.

The inside of the Bottle Grotto was much less slimy and wet, to Link's relief. The amount of plant life, on the other hand, had only increased; moss and vines crawled up the walls, and the front room was crammed with pots, each holding a different kind of flower.

Beyond there, the dungeon branched off in two directions, one of which was locked, leaving Link to take the other and fight the stalfos waiting for him. One of them was an unpleasant shock-a robed and hooded skeleton, who wielded a sword cautiously instead of mindlessly charging like normal stalfos. It was only about as skilled as a moblin, but still a precedent Link disliked. "If they've got stalfos with actual minds around here, that could be trouble." He kept walking, feeling the moss crunch under his feet.

Instead of torches, the Bottle Grotto was lit by a breed of firefly that shone like actual fire, lazily drifting around. It was slightly disconcerting, but Link _was_ glad that they weren't trying to bite him. In addition, there were chests of rupees scattered all over the place; his wallet was filling up quickly. He found a key as well, and when he turned back, it unlocked a door to a room full of blade traps guarding a piece of stone bearing writing. It was all going a little too well for Link's liking, and his suspicion was soon confirmed. Spying a ridge of blocks raised from the floor to head height, he groaned in dismay.

"Oh, no. _These_ again." Looking around, he spied a glass sphere embedded in the ground. Striking it, he nodded as the blocks sank into the floor; at the same time, the formerly blue sphere turned orange. "Oh, this is going to suck." Sighing, he walked through a door beyond the ridge and groaned again. The next room had blocks of both colors, several switches and deep trench-pits all mixed up in an obvious puzzle. Silently, he vowed to take the aggravation of all of this out of Gie's hide as he began jumping around.

Once on the other side, he killed a couple of spiny turtles, then observed a mechanical gate over a staircase leading down thoughtfully. There were a couple of steel blocks in the room, resting in an obvious trench, on opposite ends. Pushing them into the center together opened the gate, and Link walked down, muttering to himself. In the basement tunnel, he rode several moving, floating platforms over a floor of bamboo spears, thanking the Goddesses once more for the Roc's feather. On the other side, he emerged into a square room oddly devoid of plant life, though the fireflies still buzzed around overhead.

The man waiting there was wearing black, and the menacing air Link felt from him was similar to the Lords and Ladies he had met before. His only clothing was a simple fur garment that covered his torso and a bone necklace. The man himself was huge; a muscle-bound, towering hulk with a grim face and shaggy, long hair that covered his eyes. Standing in the center of the room, he stared at Link without a word as he entered.

"You would be one of the ones I haven't met, then." Link said coolly by way of introduction. "Angish, Fade, Greeper or Sliyes. Was that you doing something to the Boss Moblin?"

"Angish. Yes." The brute replied after a moment. "Gie told me to. She told me to meet you here, too. Told me to crush you." He reached up to brush the hair away from eyes that stared through Link; even compared to the others, there was nothing remotely human in that gaze. Without another word, the ceiling opened up, and water fell from above Angish, covering him; oddly, it disappeared into the ground rather then filling it.

"A man of few words, eh?" Link noted, readying sword and shield. "Fair enough. Let's get on with it."

"Yes." Angish agreed as the water died down to a trickle, revealing his transformation. Even larger than before, he now was a stout, titanic cyclops with rubbery gray skin and a pack on his back. Twin fangs protruded from his jaw, and the torchlight glistened off of his muscular arms and bald head. "Come!"

"A Hinox." Link narrowed his eyes; once again, he'd seen something like them before. His suspicions were confirmed when Angish pulled a bomb out of the pack and hurled it; he dodged and rolled to the side, and avoided the explosion. Like Morm's true form, it was an altered parody of the beasts he knew, but still recognizable. "Those only lived in Ganon's Dark World. Who the hell _are_ you guys?"

"Masters of this island." Angish grunted, throwing another bomb, and another. "We rule. You die."

"That tells me everything I needed to know." Link muttered sarcastically, growing closer to Angish with every dodge. "Thanks a bunch!" Reaching him, he slashed at the beast's huge gut, then dodged left and cut again.  
"You're welcome." Angish said, turning slowly. Hinoxes were bad at that; it was the best way to kill them.

"Come on, slowpoke!" Link taunted, then groaned as Angish began throwing bombs without looking, in Link's path. He was trapped between the monster and the back wall, and had no choice but to reverse direction. Straight into Angish's meaty hand, which felt soaking wet, but grabbed him like a steel vise.

"Got you." Angish grinned unpleasantly, raising Link up, then slamming him into the ground like a ball.

"Owwwwww." Link moaned, his entire body throbbing. He barely managed to roll away from the bombs Angish threw at him next before rising back to his feet. "Okay. No more of _that._" Looking around, his eyes narrowed; Angish's bombs were cracking the floor. Once more he advanced, but this time when he reached the enemy, he cut then retreated, backing off after each strike while stepping left and right to avoid the bombs. As he'd hoped, it wasn't long before the Lord grew angry.

"Come here!" Angish yelled, stomping after him in a bullish charge. "Let me crush you!"

"Sorry. I'm bad at being crushed." Link quipped, luring him onto the cracked floor. With a crunch, the ground gave out, and one huge foot plunged through. Roaring, Angish gripped the stuck limb and pulled, but could not budge it. As soon as the foe was immobile, Link struck, thrusting up into the open maw. His sword went through Angish's brain with a crunch, and the Hinox began exploding, his body melting into the shadow of the Lord, which flickered and vanished.

"Hope he's the only one here aside from Gie." Link muttered, squinting. As he'd also hoped, the death had released a fairy, like with Gie's form in the Tail Cave. Thankfully accepting its healing magic, Link pressed on.

The next room bore a vacuum trap that attempted to pull him into it, but holding onto the walls, Link was able to make his way around to a treasure chest and a stone slab missing a piece. To his relief, the chest contained a map. "Finally. Let's see here... oh, for Din's sake, it's shaped like a bottle." Shaking his head in disgust, he glanced at the slab. "When you see the Pol's Voice imprisoned, slay it first, and the stalfos last... well, whatever."

The next hall held a closed door to his left; beyond it, though, the way was blocked with hundreds of clay flowerpots as large as he was. Even were he to smash them with his sword, the mess would still be in the way; it would take hours to get through. Wincing, Link took the door, hoping there was something in there that would help.

"Boo!" A pair of fanged ghosts said, swooping down; the room was entirely dark, save for their glowing forms. "Boo!"

"I hate ghost stories." Link muttered, swiping at them. His sword passed through, and they dissipated into fog, only to reappear a moment later. "Great. Can't be killed. Unless..." Spying a firepit, he tossed in a pinch of magic powder. The lights came on, and the ghosts disappeared, wailing. Another treasure chest beckoned; inside, Link found a gray bracelet with a red jewel set in it.

"What's this supposed to be?" Link muttered, slipping it on, then blinked as he felt strength surge through his arms. "Wait a second..." Taking it off, he examined it again. "This is off of my Silver Gauntlet! She stripped the rest of it off and left this! That little..." Growling, he stalked out of the room and began lifting the flowerpots; the bracelet have him the strength to heft them easily and chuck them out of his way. "Just wait until I get my hands on her!"

At the end of the hall, they way forked; Link took one path, and found a bizarre tableau. Three steel cages filled the room; one held a hooded stalfos, one a keese bat, and one a Pol's Voice, a strange spirit resembling a giant, severed rabbit's head. "Okay. This is what the slab talked about..." Looking further, Link saw a chest with a strange, mechanical lock connected to all three cages. "Oh, I get it now."

Wrenching the door off of the cage, Link hurled it at the Pol's Voice; the apparition could not be cut or sliced by a blade, but it could be crushed. The logic behind that had always escaped Link, and he'd never really cared enough to find out. Next, he chopped the keese in half before killing the stalfos last. Beeping, the chest opened, and Link drew out a horned, ornate key. "This'll get me in to face Gie. Good."

Taking the other path led him to a room guarded by more Pol's Voices, which he slew by hurling flowerpots-not exactly the most heroic method, but it got the job done. Past there, he went through another underground tunnel, which appeared to be a dead end; when he looked closer, he found a section of the floor that slowly descended into another tunnel under his weight. Pressing on, he found a ladder and climbed into another one just like it. This time, though, the section refused to budge.

"Nice try, chump!" A face snapped, appearing on the platform. "It'll take more than you got to budge me!"

"This entire island is just too weird." Link muttered, walking over to a flowerpot and picking it up. Their combined weight caused the platform to lower.

"Fine! You think you're tough?" The face yelled as Link kept walking. "Lady Gie'll show you! Yeah, you heard me, meatman!"

Ignoring it, Link emerged in an empty room with several trenches around a locked door. Hurdling them all, he unlocked it and walked inside. Gie was there, reclining on an enormous blossom like it was a sofa, gazing at him in amusement.

"You figured it all out faster than I thought you would." She said, smiling. "I should have timed you. It wasn't nice to steal from me, though."

"Finders keepers." Link shrugged. "You stole my gauntlet when I came here. And my money, for that matter."

"Yeah, but that's me." She explained patiently. "This is our island. It belongs to us, and everything and everybody on it belongs to us too."

"Is that why you took Bowwow?" Link asked, not relaxing.

"You got it! You're so smart!" She clapped happily. "Bowwow's _mine_, Link. I just let him stay with Greeper's woman until now. She belongs to Greeper, and Bowwow belongs to me. So if I want Bowwow to live with me instead, he does!" She stood, eyes glittering as they had before the last time they fought. "But you interfered with that. You even beat up poor Angish, after I told him to possess the Moblin Boss."

"Too bad for Angish." Link said flatly. "And for you. People aren't owned, lady. They aren't property. If I need to pound that into every single one of your heads the hard way, I will. I've done things like that before"

"You're violent." She told him, still smiling. "I see why Hoad likes you. Is that always how you respond to people you don't like? By stabbing them?"

"I'm not entirely sure you qualify as people." Link said with a smirk of his own. "Even if you do, don't try and get me to feel bad about it. I'm an agent of the crown of Hyrule. I get paid to know when a little judicious stabbing is necessary."

"It was worth a shot." Gie shrugged. "So, what? You're fighting us because we won't let you leave? Or is it because you think we're being mean to the people here?"

"Both, to some degree." Link admitted, then showed her the power bracelet. "The fact that you wrecked my gauntlet is a bit irritating too."

"I improved it." She scoffed. "The rest was unnecessary. All the magic was in that bit right there, and the gauntlet would have looked ugly on me. It weighs less on _your_ arm too; you should thank me for it." Her eyes changed, taking on a strange, empty look. "As for the people here, you don't know how much we've done to help them just by bringing them to this island. We're their best friends in the world, Link, and they don't know just how much they owe us."

"Is that a fact?" Link raised an eyebrow. "Going to tell me, then?"

"Nice try. My lips aren't that loose." Gie stretched her arms. "Shall we get down to it, then? I don't think talking was the reason you came here for."

"Fair enough." Link agreed. "Does that mean you're going to assume your 'true form' like Morm did, now?"

"Of course." She held out a hand, and a flower sprouted from the floor, budding and then opening. Inside was a strange clay bottle the size of a human head, with no handles and eyes on the sides, staring widely. "Hope you like it, hero." With the grotesque sounds of snapping bones and tearing flesh, her hand was suddenly sucked into the bottle's mouth. Spurting blood, her arm followed it, and then the rest of her. Pulled into the air, Gie's entire body twisted, shriveled, and vanished into the bottle, leaving nothing behind.

A moment passed, then two... and then from the bottle, a giggling spirit emerged. A gaseous phantom clown, its translucent skin was patterned in motley, with ruffs on the neck and wrists, white gloves and a pointed hat. Below the waist, it trailed off into a tail as it hovered in the air. Its eyes bulged madly, and its tongue flapped loosely. "And if you're the hero, that makes me the bad guy this time! Ho ho ho!" Gie laughed, her voice deeper now, and hurled a fireball at him with a flick of her hand.

"Shit." Link muttered, diving out of the way. His shield would be nearly useless against that; instead, he used the Roc's Feather, jumping and dodging as Gie juggled more fireballs. Dancing back and forth in the air, she lobbed one underhand every few seconds, not looking very concerned over the fact that she kept missing.

"I'll get you soon enough, ho ho!" Her eyes crossed as Link grew close enough to strike back, and his sword went through her like she was nothing but a cloud. "Nice try! You can't hurt me!"

"Great." Link brought up the shield on instinct as she hurled her last fireball into his face, and had to fight the urge to detach it. The fire instantly heated the metal when it hit, to the point of searing his forearm.

Fortunately, Gie didn't take the moment to attack further; instead, she dwindled back into the bottle, which sprang to life as soon as she was inside, bouncing and twisting like it was made out of living matter rather than stone, or whatever. It hopped towards Link quickly, and he needed no words to know how heavy it would be, or what would happen if it jumped onto any part of him.

_All right, let's try this, then._ Link thought, slashing out at the urn. With a burst of sparks, the bottle was deflected by the blade, then sat on the ground, frozen again. After a few moments, Gie reemerged, and began juggling fire again.

"Nice try, but no dice!" She crowed. "You can't hurt me, and you can't hurt my bottle! You're out of luck, Link!"

_The first part is probably true._ Link reasoned. _A spirit in a bottle... I've heard of something like this. But if I find out how to smash that thing..._ "Hey, lady." He spoke aloud as he flipped and turned, remaining at a distance this time and safely avoiding the fireballs. "Heard a story once about something like you. Funny thing; it sounds a lot like your name, now that I think about it. Morm's true name was 'Moldorm.' I don't suppose yours would happen to be 'Genie,' by any chance?"

"_Ack!_" Gie froze, eyes bugging out even more then normal for a moment, before recovering. "Blah, who cares! My name won't do anything for you unless you can kill me, and that's not happening!" Hurling the last of the fire, she retreated to the bottle again.

Striking the bottle once more when it bounced at him, Link didn't wait this time, running over and picking it up as soon as it had stopped moving. With the power bracelet's strength, he was able to lift it overhead, but he could tell by the weight that his suspicions had been right; if it had pinned him, his bones would be broken. Instead, he hurled it down into the floor with all his might, just as Angish had done to him.

The bottle bounced, cracking, but didn't break, rolling upright. Gie emerged quickly, yelping angrily. "_Hey!_ What do you think _you're_ doing, huh? Cut that out!" Juggling fire again, she threw more, and Link kept dodging; her aim wasn't particularly skilled.

_If she just keeps this up all day, I'm sunk._ Link thought, narrowly missing a shot aimed at his arm. _But if I'm right... aha!_ Yelling angrily, Gie was sucked back into the bottle, and it came at him once more. _She_ has_ to go back in every minute or so, whether she likes it or not!_ Stopping and hefting the bottle again, he dashed it against the floor once more, knocking off a few chips of it this time. The main bottle remained solvent, but the eyes carved on it were half-shut in pain.

"You jerk!" Gie yelled, but was unable to tag him the next time either; it seemed she couldn't drift far from the bottle's location, either. Screaming, she vanished once more. This time, Link finished the job; the bottle shattered into a million pieces, which quickly vanished, leaving only a cloud of gas that resolved into Gie.

"That does it. No more miss nice girl." The Lady hissed, then charged him in a tackle, obviously intending to crush him against the floor. Link's sword lashed out, easily finding her, and this time she jerked away, bleeding darkness. The hero smiled grimly, and she growled. "Think it's over, huh? That I'm out of tricks? _Wrong!_" Shimmering oddly, she split into two transparent copies of herself, which spun around the room wildly before slamming together and reforming her, two inches from Link. Before he could react, she backhanded him across the room.

"Crap." Link grunted, then yelled as she hit him with a fireball. Though he blocked it with his shield, it still burned his arm. _At least my clothes didn't light up._ He swung again as Gie charged, cutting deeper. Her body was bending oddly now, like a balloon with some of the air released. She divided again, but this time when she reformed, he was ready, and slashed her again immediately, before she could hit him.

"Fine!" Gie yelled, reforming at a distance this time and throwing a fireball from the hip. "I'll roast you first!"

"Not good enough." Link growled, blocking it again. His shield arm was a mass of burning pain, but he still charged again, and struck once more; repeated hits to the same wound had nearly cleaved her in two. Dripping black blood with every second, Gie tried one more time to crush him, but Link stood his ground, and finished the job.

There were no bones inside the genie; Gie flew apart in two portions, both hitting the ground with a sickening smack. Murmuring something too quietly to be heard, she went limp, and deflated entirely, vanishing into the floor and shadow. As soon as she was insubstantial again, she began yelling. "You jerk! Don't think this is over!"

"Do you think I care, Genie?" Link leaned on his sword, taking care not to look as trashed as he felt. Instead, he fixed Gie's shadow with an iron glare. "You're through, Genie. You and all the others. You might have just done everything you wanted to on this Island up until now without caring about anybody else, Genie, but that's done. Come at me as often as you want, Genie. You'll keep on losing, every time."

"No-you-" Gie whimpered, flickering helplessly. "Stop saying that... stop saying my name!"

"Genie, Genie, Genie." Link continued. "I know your true name and nature, Genie. Be gone from this place!" Wailing pitifully, she disappeared, and Link turned to the other door in the room. Beyond there, he found a chamber similar to that in the Tail Cave. Here, though, the fountain of magical power was of leaves, and flower petals, and small insects, all various forms of life. Beyond the fount, a conch shell rested on the altar, glowing like the Full Moon had.

"Doesn't _look_ like an instrument..." Link muttered, picking it up and reading the inscription. "The Conch Horn. I stand corrected." This time, he wasn't surprised when it began to play, the same tune as the Full Moon had. Once again, the song he'd heard Marin sing, on his second day. "I'm going to have to ask her about that one." Link muttered to himself as blinding light transported him outside of the Bottle Grotto. Instantly, Bowwow was on him, licking him happily.

"Oof! Ow! Okay, I'm happy to see you too, fella!" Managing to get the chomp off of him, Link looked up at the sky. "It's getting late. What do you say we get you home, huh?" Untying Bowwow, he winced. "Find a fairy on the way. Let's go, tough guy." He kept an eye out for the owl on the way home, but there was no sign of him this time.

_Well, that's probably for the best. Bowwow might have taken a bite out of him. _

* * *

"It's about time you got here, Gie." Sliyes greeted her with a sneer as the Lady walked into the meeting hall of Kanalet Castle. "We've been waiting for you. I see you lost again."

"It's not fair!" Gie yelled, throwing herself into the seventh seat around the table with a pout. "Link's cheating! He's not supposed to be able to kill us!"

"I warned you all of such." Greeper reminded them, fingers steepled on the table. "Yet Hoad refused to listen, and now we reap the consequences of that foolishness."

"I don't see _you_ suffering all that much for it, Greeper." Hoad retorted. "You _or_ Sliyes. You've both stayed back so far and let the rest of us mess with the kid."

"The lout _does_ have a point." Sleel agreed, smirking. "Although you have to admit, Sliyes did do well at turning Richard out with you. Too bad for him. I'll bet the look on his face was practically _heartbreaking._"

"This place was wasted on him anyways." Sliyes shrugged. "In truth, the darknuts did most of the work. I daresay the idiot had even forgotten that they weren't human, and only served him because we told them to in the first place."

"It's done. There's no point discussing it further." Greeper said, then suddenly moved. An instant later, knives slammed into the table before Gie, Sliyes and Angish. "We have more serious matters to attend to, and no time to dilly-dally! A threat walks this island who may be capable of undoing everything we have created here, and you _play_ with him, as if he was some toy! How many more of you will have to be defeated and exiled before you _learn_?"

"Does that mean you're going to listen to my sweet sister, and take a part in this yourself?" Morm drawled, unafraid.

"Very well." Greeper drew his hand back, and a gust of wind jerked the knives back out of the table, returning them to him. "If it will impose the seriousness of this upon the rest of you, Sliyes and I shall reveal ourselves to him soon enough."

"Me?" Sliyes blinked, jerking upright.

"Yes, you." Greeper confirmed scathingly. "Unless you're afraid."

"Yeah, right!" Sliyes replied, just as scornful. "I'll show all of you up, then. Just wait and see!"

"Oh, they shall." Greeper crossed his arms. "Perhaps we shall try a different tack than violence, since that doesn't seem to be getting the rest of you anywhere. On that note, you need to be more careful with conserving your power. Angish will be remaining back for a few days to regain what he's lost so quickly."

"And us?" Sleel raised an eyebrow. "I hope you don't intend for me and my dear brother to do the same."

"You'd simply disobey me if I said to." Greeper rolled his eyes. "Very well, but not in human forms. Wait, and if he enters another lair, strike there. Transform as a team, and you take the lead, Sleel. Morm's down to a quarter of his power, while if you go another day without losing more of yours, you'll be back up to full." He turned to his left. "On the subject of disobedience, I won't bother with you, Hoad. You'd just ignore me anyways no matter _what_ I said, so do what you will. Besides, I hardly care."

"Business as usual, then. Got it." Hoad gave him a mocking thumbs-up.

"As for you, Gie, you're in as bad a shape as Morm." Greeper leaned forward, regarding the Lady with a smile. "However, I have a different task in mind for you. A rather special one, that doesn't involve any more fighting for the moment."

"Okay." Gie perked up. "What is it?"

"Go to Fade." Greeper shifted his gaze to the eighth, empty seat. "His insistence on remaining separate was an annoyance at first, but now it is harmful negligence. He is as much at risk from this as the rest of us. He will _have_ to act, if he wishes to retain what is his. You are the only one of us who he will permit to enter his domicile unmolested. Go to him, ask him to take you in now that you have been evicted from your own home, and persuade him to at least take independent action, if he will not join us once more."

"Got it!" Gie beamed. "I can handle it, Greeper!"

"We all have our tasks, then." Greeper stood. "Let's be about them, then." With nods, the Children of Nightmares took their leave, and in moments, only silence and emptiness dwelled within the castle's meeting hall.


	5. Chapter 4: Royal Pains

_**Chapter 4: Royal Pains**_

_Build my fear of what's out there  
Cannot breathe the open air_

Link had learned not to build up expectations of what would happen, but even so, he was fairly surprised by what he found when he and Bowwow returned to Mabe Village. Tables had been set up in the town square, covered with food. The children of the village ran around happily throwing balls, while adults talked, danced and drank. Even a few talking animals, like Sale the banana gator, had come to the village to take part. Magical lights glittered in all the trees, providing illumination as night crept on, probably provided by Balzac the shopkeeper.

"Well." He commented, stopping in his tracks at the north gate. "This is different."

"Bowwow! Oh, my sweet little puppy! You brought him back!" Madame Meowmeow shouted, charging them both like a sports player. Before Link could think, she was hugging him firmly. "Thank you so much, Link! I would be lost without him!"

"Bow! Bow!" Bowwow began jumping all over her, and Link handed over his chain.

"Things like this are kind of my job." He explained. "I'm used to them. And I don't think it'll be happening again. Don't ask me for the details, though."

"Don't want us to get involved, right?" Grandma Ulrira guessed, running up to take Link's arm. "Don't worry, none of that talk! We're just having a party because you're headin' off tomorrow, lad! Hate to see you go, but you young folks are stubborn like that! Least we can do is make sure you have a nice night before you go! Come on, over here! Marin! Look who's back!"

"I saw." Marin smiled at Link, pulling out a chair. "So. How'd it go?"

"I just _said_ nobody here should ask me for the details." Link growled as Grandma Ulrira bustled off to check on some of the cooking.

"Right. But you didn't think I'd actually _agree_, did you?" Marin said sweetly, sitting next to him. "Come on. None of the Lords and Ladies are here to hear, and even if they were, there's too much background noise for them to make out what we're saying."

Link gave her a stern look, which she returned, for several moments before relenting. "Okay. Fine. Keep it to yourself, though. I don't think Gie will be causing any more problems for a while. She took it a lot harder than Morm did. Met Angish, too. Not sure what to think of that one."

"Lord Angish scares me." Marin said quietly, then shook her head. "That makes sense about Lady Gie, though. She doesn't have as strong a will as most of the others. Her and Lord Sliyes share that."

"Sliyes... haven't met him yet." Link noted. "Him, Greeper and Fade. Probably won't be long, though."

"Maybe." Marin glanced away for a moment, then turned back. "Well, enough about that. Let's have some fun, huh?"

"Oh, no you don't." Link smiled. "Your turn. You wanted me to let you in, you can reciprocate, missy. You know where some of the others live, right?"

"Well... yes." Marin sighed. "All right, get out your map. I don't know all of them, though. Lord Sliyes is the next closest; here, in the Ukuku Prairie, to the east. Further east is Lady Sleel, in the middle of Martha's Bay; I hope you can swim. Lord Hoad and Lord Greeper both live in the Tal Tal Mountains, but I don't know any specifics. Same with Lord Angish; he's somewhere along the river, but that's all I've got."

"Gotcha." Link made notes on the map he'd been drawing, then looked her in the eye. "And Lord Fade?"

"In the east. North of Animal Village." Marin said quietly. "You don't really need to worry about him, though. He doesn't really have much to do with the others. I don't think he'll be bothering you, or anybody else."

"Well, I hope so." Link shrugged, not wanting to talk about the owl and the instruments. "Just wanted to get that one down in case; I like planning ahead. If he doesn't cause problems, I don't see any reason I'd mess with him, either."

"Hey, kids, what's goin' on?" Tarin suddenly joined them, a mug in both hands. "Come on, stop lookin' so serious, huh? Are we havin' a party here or what?"

"Oh, we're having a party, all right." Marin agreed, taking one mug and nodding to Link mischievously. "So, mister hero. You're not a lightweight, are you?"

"Oh, no." Link grinned back, taking the other mug. "Let me tell you the story about how I learned how to drink from a squid and a glove..."

The next few hours passed in a blaze of activity. After a few mugs with Marin and Tarin, they moved on to the feast, ten courses which left Link more stuffed than he'd been since he'd stayed with the Deku Royal Family in Termina for a month. The alcohol was just as plentiful, to the point that by the end of the feast, it made perfect sense to Link to trade the can of dog food he had gotten from Princess to Sale. In return, he received a bunch of bananas to take with him when he left. The alligator appeared to enjoy the trade too, from the way he devoured the can on the spot.

Following the meal, the entire village requested a song from Marin, who cheerfully obliged. At that point, the noise level quieted significantly, as she sang remarkably clearly considering how much she (and everybody) had had to drink. It was the same song Link had heard before, but it had lost none of its appeal; if anything, it was even more beautiful.

"What is that song?" Link asked Tarin once she had finished, and been swarmed by appreciative villagers.

"S'called the Ballad o' the Wind Fish." Tarin, unlike Link and Marin, was definitely showing signs of his drinking that night. "S'an old tune around this place. Learned it from Fade, she said. I think."

"From Fade, huh." Link narrowed his eyes. The more he heard about that particular Lord, the more he wanted to meet him. "Interesting. I heard something about a Wind Fish once, but I can't remember what."

"Local legend." Tarin sat up, making an effort to talk more clearly now. "Somethin' like that. It's the big egg, up on top o' Mount Tamaranch. Story goes that the Wind Fish is in there, sleepin'. Nobody knows if it's ever supposed to wake up, or what'll happen if it does."

"Maybe I should check this egg out." Link decided, cursing himself for not thinking of that sooner; it was clearly the strangest thing about the island, but he had forgotten it up until Tarin had mentioned it again. "Mount Tamaranch, huh? I take it that's the biggest mountain up there in the Tal Tal Heights?"

"You got it. Right in the middle, too. Can't miss it." Tarin hiccuped. "Whoops. 'Scuse me." Lurching up, he staggered off towards the outhouse.

"He'll be back." Marin said, rejoining Link. "What were you talking about?"

"The Tal Tal Mountains." Link shrugged. "I notice Papahl isn't here. Did he already head off into them?"

"You guessed it." She sighed. "Him and dad... keep an eye out for him when you go up there, okay? He never packs enough food, either, so he's always starving when he finally gets back here. He'll hate hearing about this."

"Fortunately, I always pack enough." Link assured her. "And I'm good at living off the land, too, so if I find him I'll help him with that."

"Navigating, fighting, cooking, scavenging... I'm starting to wonder what you _aren't_ good at." She teased.

"Dancing." Link replied with a straight face.

"I'll believe that when I see it." She pulled him to his feet. Some of the others were playing various instruments now, with a chipper, upbeat tone.

"I don't know..." Link said warily.

"Come on. Just one dance?" Marin pleaded. "I promise, that's all. One, before you leave tomorrow? Just for fun?"

"One." Link conceded, despite his instincts. "But that's it."

He hadn't lied; his dancing abilities were decidedly subpar. Zelda had always been able to compensate, though, and Marin did the same, leading him gracefully through the unfamiliar movements.

"You'll call, won't you?" Marin asked quietly as they danced. "On the telephone. And you'll come back every so often, right? To visit?"

"I'll try." Link said noncommittally, then mentally cursed as she immediately looked downcast. "Sorry, that didn't come out right. I meant to say... I'll try to do that as often as possible. And if I do find a way off of here, I'll come back to say goodbye, for sure. Don't worry about that. You've got my word on it, and I don't give that lightly."

"I didn't think you would." Marin looked back up. "All right, I'll trust you on that. And if you need any help with anything, too, let me know. You're a good friend, Link. I know what you're doing is dangerous, so there's no real way to be safe... but try anyways."

"I'll do that." Link promised.

After the dance, the party broke up, and they went back home, Link sleeping in the guest bed for the last time. As he drifted off, he shook his head wryly, thinking that he wasn't leaving Mabe a moment too soon. Every time before that, it was Zelda's face that he thought of when he fell asleep, but now there was another there.

One that he knew could only be a friend, no matter what anybody else wanted.

* * *

_Link-East of here is Prince Richard's villa. He's been evicted from Kanalet Castle by the Lords and Ladies for some reason, so he'll be there. He's a good man, so he'll let you stay with him for a few days. I won't be back until late tonight, so you can't say goodbye if I'm not here. Good luck, and call soon-Marin_

"That girl is really something." Link smiled despite his headache, reading the note he'd found on the table downstairs. Tarin was still snoring away, but Marin was gone without a trace, and he knew he wouldn't be able to find her. The rest of Mabe was still silently sleeping as well, and he left through the east gate without a word to anybody, heading out into the Ukuku Prairie. The wind was still blowing as strongly as the other day, and bad weather seemed to be growing. Storm clouds loomed overhead, and occasionally lightning flashed in the distance, though there was no rain just yet.

There was more to it than that, though; for some reason, wherever Link looked, living things seemed to be doing poorly. Fruit rotted inexplicably, flowers withered, and animals seemed unusually weak. Link himself felt like he was coming down with something, although that could have just been the hangover. Even the monsters seemed cranky; as if his headache wasn't bad enough, the first of those he saw in the flatlands was yet another horrible alteration. Octorocks with brightly colored butterfly wings flitted around, making leaps of more then ten feet.

"If nothing else, what they've done to evolution alone would earn the Lords and Ladies a beating." Link commented grumpily, dodging both the winged octorocks and a nasty breed of hole worm as he took the southeastern path. The northeastern one would apparently lead to Kanalet Castle and something called "hippo rock," neither of which sounded particularly appealing to him. Southeast, on the other hand, led to both Richard's villa and the Key Cavern, where Sliyes resided.

The latter came first, but to Link's disgust, it was barred like the Tail Cave had been. There were statues in front, of course, and one had a keyhole, but without the key, they were useless to him. It didn't help that the entrance was on the coast of a disgusting pond, either. Sighing, Link kept going south, until he came across the villa, a much more pleasant sight. A two-story country house, it had a fenced-in field behind it.

The man sitting on the porch strumming a lute was nearly a storybook ideal of a prince. Tall and brawny, but with a handsome face, he wore a doublet and hose like Link's, but in much brighter hues of green and white, coupled with a rich violet cape. His jet-black hair was elegantly styled, and his eyelashes almost as curly. Despite the fact that he was sitting in the sun, his skin was pale and smooth. As his eyes fell upon Link, he smiled, standing. "Ah, salutations! You must be Link, the newcomer to Koholint! I have heard much of you from Ulrira!"

"Your highness." Link bowed his head informally. "On behalf of the royal house of Hyrule, I extend their greetings."

"None of that, boy!" The prince said cheerfully, though he didn't look much older than Link. He spoke with a strange, smooth accent. "We're not at court. Just call me Richard, yes? Come, come, have some wine. There's a bottle on the table inside, and the glasses are in a cabinet on the left side of the kitchen. Being two out, would you?"

"Of course." Link nodded, rolling his eyes mentally but not showing any outward signs of it. He'd met royalty like Richard before. Retrieving the glasses and wine, he poured for both of them. "Some other agents of the crown once told me the best cure for a hangover is more to drink. Should be worth a shot."

"Men after my own heart!" Richard laughed. "I must say, you're not quite what I imagine an agent of the crown to look like. Most of them back in my homeland tended more towards being rather grizzled older men. Well, men and Sister Buttercup, but I try not to think about her." He winced theatrically.

"You could say it runs in the family." Link replied, stifling a chuckle. "We've served the crown directly for generations. My uncle was commander of the Knights of Hyrule a while back, and he fits that description pretty well."

"Aha! All is explained!" Richard said lightly. "I imagine you must be quite skilled with that sword of yours, then. Perhaps we should practice together sometime. I warn you, though, I'm quite good; I've even been able to wound Lord Morm!"

"Not bad." Link replied diplomatically. "Marin said you'd been having some trouble with the Lords and Ladies recently."

"Yes, but that's a different story." Richard's face took on a sulky look. "Lord Hoad and Lord Sliyes just showed up at Kanalet and commanded my servants to throw me out! For no reason at all! And they _listened_ to them! They must have gone insane; I don't know what's gotten into them. So now, I'm stuck at this villa, which is rather nice in the summer, I'll admit, but would hardly do for a year-round residence! Just look at it; you wouldn't think I was a prince from this place alone, now would you, _mon ami?_"

"You have my sympathies." Link took a drink of wine; the way the conversation was going, he would need a buzz. "I'm not exactly pleased with their management myself."

"Oh, yes! That's right!" Richard prattled on. "Now I remember, Ulrira said you'd gone to Lord Morm's and Lady Gie's homes to fight them! Brave, but stupid! How have you ever managed to survive this long?"

"Just lucky, I guess." Link shrugged, thanking his Uncle Albert for teaching him patience. "Having a bit of trouble with Sliyes locking his door, though. I was going to go after him next, but unless I find a key, I'm kind of stuck there."

"Well, now." Richard raised an eyebrow. "I may be able to help you, then. As a matter of fact, I was able to filch a key from Lord Sliyes as they were evicting me. Perhaps it is the one you speak of, that shall open the Key Cavern's entrance."

"Pickpocketing, huh?" Link whistled, genuinely impressed for the first time. "Where does a prince learn _that_?"

"The succession at home was fairly brutal." Richard looked serious for once; it was an odd look on his face. "Nobody in the palace could be trusted, so I made friends with street children. It helped me survive until I was old enough to flee the country. After that, I was safer; my brother's fondness for me increased with my distance from his throne. I never returned; all I have to remember my childhood by are the golden leaves, a family treasure I took with me. Unfortunately, they remain in Kanalet; the Lords weren't kind enough to allow me to take them along."

"I think I get the picture." Link said shrewdly. "If I get those leaves back for you, you'll trade the key for them."

"More than that! You may have the hospitality of my villa for as long as you wish!" Richard promised. "And any other assistance I can give as well, yes? I beg you, retrieve the golden leaves. They're all I have that's truly precious!"

"I'll take you up on that." Link decided. Richard's company, such as it was, would still be preferable to sleeping in a tree with one eye open. Besides, against all logic, there was something he liked about the doofus; his arrogance seemed unconscious, and in no way detracted from his friendliness. "I'll need to get inside Kanalet, then. What can you tell me about it?"

"It's more of a small keep than a castle, really, but I wasn't the one who named it." Richard got up and came back with a sheet of paper, suddenly all business. Laying it on the table, he began drawing a sketch of the grounds. "It occupies nearly the entirety of an island in the center of the Ukuku River, amounting to a moat. The drawbridge will likely be up, so you're on your own for getting to the grove outside the walls on the east side."

"I'll figure something out." Link said, watching him sketch. "Is there any way inside aside from the main gate?"

"Yes. One of the bushes in the grove I mentioned is rubber. It hides a secret underground passageway that will take you inside the walls, into the grounds behind the castle." Richard began adding details. "The castle itself isn't very fortified; the wall, drawbridge and moat are the only real defenses. Inside, however, are about twenty knights, my former servants. Their captain is extremely skilled with a morningstar, and the second-in-command a demolitions expert. Be very wary of them both."

"I've killed knights who used both before." Link said with a nod. "Where will the leaves be, then?"

"Likely in my personal quarters, on the second floor." Richard replied, circling the target on the map. "You'll have to go out onto the mezzanine, then back inside through the center doorway, to reach them. I hope my servants haven't moved them."

"Or the Lords and Ladies. Still, I'll look." Link rose, taking the map once Richard was done. "The day is young. I'll scout out Kanalet for now. If I find a way onto the island soon, I might do it today; otherwise, tomorrow at dawn. We'll see how things work out."

"_Tres bien!_ I will have a hot meal waiting when you return!" Richard saluted him. "Good luck, _mon ami_!"

"Be back around sunset." Link waved back as he set off to the northwest.

* * *

"Crap." Link muttered, staring across the river at Kanalet Castle. Richard's description had been totally accurate; there was no way to cross the river to the eastern glade without jumping in, and his swimming ability was more of a lack thereof. He'd had magical flippers to counteract that, but like everything else they'd been lost, although the owl had included them in his list of what had been stolen by the Lords and Ladies. Still, that didn't help him here and now. "Maybe I should look for a log... that would be risky, though..."

"Eek! Eek!" A high-pitched voice shouted from behind him, and Link turned around to see a monkey hopping up and down there. "Hi, hi! Whatcha doing, huh? Huh?"

"Trying to figure out how to get across to that island over there." Link said, smiling. He was pretty much used to talking animals by now. Besides, the last monkey he'd met had turned out to actually be a former circus acrobat turned freedom fighter named Kiki, quickly becoming a friend of his. "Any ideas?"

"Hmmmm. Maybe." The monkey peered closer at him. "What's in it for me?"

"Ha!" Link laughed; Kiki had wanted payment too, but somehow he doubted this monkey would be interested in money. Instead, he pulled Sale's bananas out of his pack. "How about these right here?"

"Ooh, ooh, eek!" The monkey began jumping up and down much faster. "Gimme those! Gimme the bananas and I'll get you over there! Eeek!"

"They're yours." Link tossed the bunch to him. "How're you going to do it?"

"Like this!" The monkey put his fingers to his lips and whistled. Moments later, other monkeys began pouring out of trees and bushes. "Monkey monkees! This guy gave me bananas, kee! He needs to get across to that island! Help him, kee!"

It was like his words had set off a mental trigger. All of the monkeys leaped into action as one, becoming a mass of blazing fur and flesh between the trees and the river. Link watched in amazement as they began hauling branches and vines over, and constructed a bridge in a matter of minutes. He blinked, and they were done, romping off into the trees once more.

"Monkey business, eek." The last monkey told him gravely before grabbing the bananas and jumping off with them. "Good luck!"

"If I ever write a book about how to do this job, I have _got_ to make sure to put in something about always helping out monkeys." Link commented to nobody in particular. The bridge was tight and firm, not even shaking slightly as he crossed it. An extra branch had been left lying perpendicular across it; picking it up, Link shrugged and added it to his pack. If nothing else, he could use it as a walking stick when he went up into the Tal Tal Mountains.

The secret passage Richard had told him about worked perfectly. Under a false bush, he found the staircase leading into the underground tunnel, and came up under another bush in the castle's garden. There weren't any guards in the immediate area, but Link saw one to either side of him in the distance, at the corners of the walls, on patrol. They wore identical metal armor, with shields, swords and winged helmets. The eyeholes on the helms showed tiny sparks of light in darkness.

"I thought so." Link muttered to himself, waiting until one of them had advanced back around the castle. "Darknuts." He'd encountered the monstrous knights before; they imitated human smithery, creating arms and armor, but like moblins, were savage and bestial in nature. Their equipment would only be iron; steel was beyond their ability to forge. Creeping up on the slower patroller, Link swung his sword at the neck crevice as he whirled around, and took off his head. Dragging the body into the bushes, he hid as the other one came back, then continued around once he was gone again.

"Probably won't be long before they figure out he's down." Link muttered to himself as he ran towards the next corner. "Got to move quick." This was a stealth operation; he really didn't want to have to kill everybody there unless he had to. There was another sentry walking around as he reached the corner, and he managed to kill it as well. Unfortunately, that was where his luck ended; a startled yell came from the other side of the front as the Darknut fell. Growling, Link pulled his blade out of the corpse, and ran for the front door of the castle proper.

Kanalet's halls were large, cold and empty; torches hung on the walls, and rugs and tapestries were tastefully placed, but it was all a little too perfectly designed; it looked like something out of a storybook rather than a place people actually lived. The Darknuts had their own quarters somewhere inside, of course, but it looked like most of the castle was just for show, with Richard evicted. Recalling the map he'd drawn, Link turned left in the entrance hall, and found two more of the knights standing guard in the side corridor.

"Hey, we got an intruder." One of them said to the other as Link charged them. They had spears, but no shields or swords.

"Doesn't look like much." The other scoffed. "Some pretty boy."

"Yeah, but he's got a sword." The first noticed. "Think we should stop him?"

"Maybe." The second admitted, a moment before Link sliced both their heads off with a whirling blade strike.

"Thank Farore for stupid guards." Link shook his head, continuing past them. As he continued down the passages, he saw another one in a side room, staring at something. After a moment's thought, he strolled over casually. "Hey, whatcha got there?"

"Huh?" The Darknut blinked. "Who're you?"

"I'm from the government, and I'm here to help." Link said seriously, glancing over the Darknut's shoulder. A note was pinned to the wall over a large lever.

_Attention imbeciles. This is used to raise and lower the drawbridge. Anybody _else_ who uses it "to see what it does" _again_ will be summarily thrown into the moat in their armor. -Lord Sliyes_

"Cool." Link said. "Hey, I don't _have_ any armor, so if he throws me in the moat, I'll be fine. Want me to pull this for you?"

"Would you?" The Darknut blinked. "Hey, thanks!"

"No problem." Link chuckled, pulling the lever. "Some guys outside were yelling about an intruder. Maybe you should go ask what's going on."

"Good idea." The Darknut agreed, turning and walking off. A moment later, an enraged bellow came from the way he'd gone, but by that time Link had already found the staircase up to the second floor.

A pair of Darknut statues flanked the top of the staircase; as Link passed by them, he heard breathing, and no other enemies were in sight. Pausing, he glanced at the statues. "Hey. Are you guys pretending to be statues so you can jump me from behind, once my back's turned?"

"Yeah." One of them replied.

"Idiot!" The other reached over and smacked him. "Don't _tell_ him that!" The first hit him back, and soon they were rolling on the ground, pummeling each other.

Link watched them scuffle for a moment, then kicked them down the stairs, more out of a sense of insulted professionalism than anything else. Shaking his head, he continued out onto the mezzanine. Down below in the courtyard, he saw the Darknuts frantically searching for him, apparently not realizing that he was inside. "I take it back. This is just painful." Turning around, he went through the central doorway, and found himself standing before a locked door. "Oh. _Now_ they take some precautions." Fortunately, it was wood; he simply chopped it down.

The Darknut inside was wearing different armor than the others; his helmet was smooth and round. In addition, a morningstar the size of his head was lying in his lap; he'd apparently been cleaning it while sitting on the bed. The room around him was completely trashed; it had been fancy once, but that had been before somebody had smashed everything that looked breakable, and most of what didn't. "So you're the rat I've been hearing the boys yelling about."

"And here I was hoping the boss, at least, would know what he was doing." Link sighed. "You know there's an alert, and you sit around polishing your weapon? This entire outfit is a joke. One Knight of Hyrule could kill the lot of you. Hell, one _novice_, and they're only armed with _knives_ until they earn their green armor."

"No rush. Knew you'd be coming here." The captain replied, reaching into a chest and removing five leaves of gold. "You want this, right? Only thing that idiot would have sent you here for." He threw the leaves at Link, who jumped out of their way; they flew past him, out onto the mezzanine. A moment later, the morningstar slammed into where Link had been standing. "Huh. Nice moves. Good to know you can back up that mouth."

"Not bad yourself." Link narrowed his eyes, watching the captain pull back the mace ball. He swung around, then launched it again, and Link dodged left, then charged. "I promote you from a loser to a deadbeat!"

"Oh, a compliment. Oh, joy." The captain raised his off-arm, deflecting most of the force of Link's swing on his armor, while pulling his weapon back towards the back of his head. Up close, his eyes had none of the glow of normal Darknuts; they were black, like the Moblin Boss's had been.

"Glad to hear you appreciate it." Link jumped back just in time to avoid the next toss of the morningstar. When next the captain attacked, he moved in again, this time aiming for his weapon arm's elbow joint. The iron armor was heavily dented, but he wasn't able to hack through it, and with a flick of his wrist, the captain pulled the mace ball back again. Link hastily raised his shield; the heavy weapon pounded a huge dent into it, but it was better that than his head.

"I give that piece of paper maybe three more shots." The captain said calmly, swinging again and again as Link dodged. "Lose it, and you're crunchy-style, kiddo."

"I think I'll pass on that plan." Link was hesitant to get too close to the other man again, but there was no helping it. After a particularly wide throw, he darted in, trying a whirling blade strike this time. The sword's momentum was enough to penetrate the iron, but the captain intercepted with his arm again; though it was severed, the sword kept going into his torso, and lodged in the metal there. "Shit." Link pulled on it, but not quickly enough; the morningstar bounced off his shield arm as it was pulled back in, with enough force to cause an unpleasant _crunch_ and a stab of massive pain.

"Sucks to be you, kiddo!" The captain laughed, then froze, tugging. "Huh?" Link had dropped his shield, grabbing the chain as soon as it was immobile.

"I've had worse." Link managed to pull his sword free, and slashed again where it had been stuck. The sword penetrated, and the Darknut went down, blood flowing from the wound like a spilled glass of water. His remaining arm reached out feebly towards Link, then dropped and was still. Wincing, Link tested his own arm; he could move it, but to do so brought pain with every twitch. "Just a fracture. Lucky for me he only caught me on the backswing."

"Lucky's the word, all right." A shadow flowed from the fallen monster's helmet, as Hoad's voice accosted Link. "Not bad, kid, but you got a long ways to go."

"Should have known. It's been too long since you bothered me." Link said, sheathing his sword. "Satisfied?"

"For the moment. You're getting better. Not nearly good enough for what I can _really_ do, but better." Hoad admitted, remaining a shadow. Unlike Angish, he seemed to be in no hurry to leave. "Greeper was getting on my case about you, so I decided to throw him a bone. You're really raising alarm bells with the others, you know."

"Well, good for you." Link rolled his eyes. "If you're hiding inside somebody else like that, I'm guessing you don't take any damage when you die."

"Wrongo. If we're possessing somebody who dies, we lose a good quarter of our power. Just like if we're human or half-form." Hoad replied, the technical terms sounding odd in his rough voice. "True-form, and it's half our power. Don't get your hopes up, though; it recharges if we don't fight." He snickered. "You want to know any more about that, you'll have to take me down again, and next time I won't be letting somebody else do the heavy work for me."

"I'd be embarrassed to be your 'property' if you did." Link said it with as much sarcasm as possible. "Although you seem to be taking that term a lot looser than the others. Let me ask you something that's _not_ about how you work then, 'boss.' What's your interest in me? Gie acts like a little spoiled girl, but there's something different under the surface. Leads me to think that your whole fight-fanatic thing might not run all the way to the core either."

"Pretty sharp, kid." Though the shadow was flat and featureless, something moved in the area of the face that seemed like a smile as his voice changed subtly. "You wanna know why I wanted you? This place was getting boring as hell before you came along. Centuries of the same old shit. Not any more. _Nobody's_ beat Morm and Gie on their own turf before. Not here. And the humans here know it; they know you're different from them. You're an agent of change, Linko. _That's_ what I like about you. One way or another, by the time you're done, this island'll never be the same."

"You never know." Link chuckled. "One of the others might give up and let me out of here just to get rid of me."

"Good luck with that one." Hoad laughed. "Might wanna go get those leaves, all the same. I'll be watching you, kid." His shadow faded, and was gone.

"Are any of these people not creepy?" Link asked the empty air as he turned away, back towards the mezzanine. The golden leaves were still scattered around it, and he bent to pick them up. As his hand was about to close around the fourth, something black and shrieking suddenly hit the back of his head. Link went for his sword, and the crow dived away, grabbing the last two leaves and carrying them to the mismatched pair who stood on the castle's roof behind Link. As his eyes turned to them, the dark clouds above opened up, and the rain poured down.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Did you want these?" The boy looked to be less than ten; a scrawny, short youth with a bowl cut. His clothes were black and expensive-looking, sharply cut, and on his back, a pack bulged with various devices. Sneering down at Link, he adjusted a pair of huge glasses that reflected a flash of lightning. "Come on up, and we'll give them back to you. Nice to meet you again, I guess. You weren't paying much attention last time."

"Shipwrecks do that to a guy." Link shrugged easily, hiding his anger. _Let your guard down. Stupid, stupid._ "Sliyes and Greeper, I presume. That just leaves Fade."

"Don't count on meeting that dolt any time soon." Sliyes snorted. "If you went to his place now, he might not even wake up while you stole his instrument."

"Manners, Sliyes." The old man next to him said calmly. "There's no need to gloat, or to insult our comrade unduly.." His twisted, hunched back made him barely taller than his companion, but that was the only thing they held in common. His black garments were unkempt robes, and his eyes were sharp and cunning. The dirty gray hair and beard were wild and long, giving him the look of a hermit, further reinforced by how the crow perched on his wrist. Taking the golden leaves from the bird, he paid them no heed, staring down at Link. "Permit me to introduce myself, young man. My name is indeed Lord Greeper, and I am what you might call the leader of our kind."

"Forgive me if I don't bow." Link smiled. "Is there something I can help you gentlemen with, then?"

"You can start by being willing to discuss this like a civilized being." Greeper replied, sitting down and allowing his feet to dangle off the edge of the roof. Neither of them seemed to even notice the rain. "Is all this violence really necessary? I can understand it if you don't particularly care for us, but that hardly translates into your current course of action."

"Blame Hoad." Link said easily, not sitting himself. "He said he'd let me out of here if I made things more interesting. This seems to be working."

He was unprepared for their reactions; both Sliyes and Greeper's faces went blank and wooden, as if he had just suggested that they were doing something illegal involving cuccos.

"Let you out? That's ridiculous!" Sliyes blurted after a moment. "What the _hell_ is that idiot _thinking_?"

"Enough, Sliyes." Grepeer snapped. "Don't tell him any more than he's already stumbled upon. Who knows what boils in Hoad's brain? He's the most uncontrollable of us." Regaining his calm, he raised an eyebrow. "Do you hate our island so much, then? I would have thought you would grow attached to it. You certainly like those two, Tarin and Marin, don't you?"

"They're good folks." Link replied easily. "Not really my kind of people, though. Doubt I'll be seeing much of them now that I've left Mabe."

"Oh, really." Greeper murmured, stroking his beard. "That's quite a shame. Don't you think, Sliyes?"

"Oh, perhaps not." Sliyes replied, smiling unpleasantly down at Link. "How about this, then? _I'll_ give you a ticket off of here. All you have to do is go back and kill Marin and Tarin! If you don't really care about them, that should be easy for you!"

"You know, I bought some bombs from Balzac this morning." Link said after a moment. "Would you like me to throw one at you?"

"That's quite enough of that." Greeper shook his head sadly. "If you can't behave, Sliyes, then take your leave and allow me to do this."

"Fine." Sliyes stood, then snatched the golden leaves from Greeper and hurled them out into the castle grounds. "There. Have fun hunting those down again, hero boy."

"Run away, coward." Link replied with contempt. "I'll be coming for you soon enough."

"Come, come, let's be realistic about this." Greeper said over Sliyes' mocking laughter as the younger-looking Lord melted into a shadow and flitted away. "You have no real way to truly threaten us, you know. It's impossible to kill us in one go, and if we're ever in danger, we just have to stay away from you until we heal. Even banishing Morm and Gie from their homes isn't permanent. They'll be able to return soon enough. Your only real hope of accomplishing anything is the chance that Hoad tells the truth, and I should certainly hope that you don't _trust_ him."

"Hardly." Link scoffed. _Better not to talk about the Instruments with this guy. _"Say I listen to you. What would you suggest?"

"Make the best of your situation." Greeper explained. "Return to Mabe, and take up residence. Use your fighting prowess to keep my more unruly colleagues in line; you'll notice I'm not at all bothered by what you did to Morm and Gie. A bit of humility is in order for _them_. You can't honestly tell me you dislike it here on Koholint. In fact, having one of their own who can negotiate with us by force if necessary might help the other villagers."

"You make a good sales pitch." Link admitted, then drew his sword again. "Sorry. I decline. I'm afraid that for some reason, you make me think of the kind of guy who'd kill me in my sleep as soon as I let my guard down, just to be sure."

"A baseless accusation. Such a pity." Greeper stood, and wind began to blow, softly at first, then fiercer. At the same time, the rain withered and dropped off, though the dark clouds remained looming above them. A whistling noise made Link dive to the floor, and not a moment too soon. A knife flew past, where his head had been, straight at Greeper. The old Lord caught it, along with several others, in his fingers effortlessly and smiled. Selecting one in his other hand, he tossed and caught it without looking. "It seems we've reach a breakdown in negotiations."

The next knife was thrown straight at Link, who raised his shield and deflected it. _Not good. I still don't have any ranged weapons except my bombs. Good thing I bought those, or I'd be screwed-whoa! _He had to jump aside as another knife whizzed past his ear. Sheathing his sword, he kept his shield up as he pulled out a bomb with his free hand. _Of all the times to fight somebody like this. Where's my bow and arrows when I need them! _

"I see that!" Greeper called, not budging from his rooftop perch. His next knife was thrown at the stone near Link's feet; upon impact, it bounced up and hit his leg. Before he could add another, Link tossed the now-lit bomb. Greeper watched it sail through the air, then tucked and rolled to the left, out of range of the explosion. "Ha! Do you truly think you'll be able to hit me with those slow things, boy?"

"What counts is that I've got you on the run now." Link said calmly, already pulling out another bomb. Greeper could only throw one more knife before the black sphere was airborne, and Link blocked that as well. Once again, Greeper moved out of the way, but both explosions had gouged sloping dents out of the roof, impossible to stand on. "You can't keep running forever if you still want to be in range of hitting me, old man. I've got enough here to blow holes in this entire side of the roof's edge."

"I'm well aware." Greeper tried an angle deflection off the mezzanine again, but this time Link was ready, and avoided it. As he was about to throw the third bomb, Greeper suddenly dived forward off of the roof, straight at him with knives in hand. "Ha!"

"Shit!" Link acted quickly, pitching the bomb straight into Greeper's face. It hit like a rock; the old man grunted in pain and flew back, head-first. The bomb detonated between the two of them in midair, scorching Link but not doing any permanent damage. Hissing in pain, he looked around before diving forward on instinct, drawing his sword. The knife strike passed overhead, and Link rolled away. Returning to his feet, he turned around to see Greeper standing on the wall, a bit crispy as well but far from down.

"Come, then." The old man bent his knees slightly, his knife held in his right hand. "Shall we finish this?"

"Oh, I'm coming." Link promised, while cursing mentally. Most swordsmen tended to underestimate knife fighters due to their reduced range, but he knew how dangerous they could be, and Greeper's stance suggested expertise. If he got close, he'd have the first strike, but if that missed, the old man's blade would be able to wound him massively. He dropped his shield; it would be useless against a knife at close range. Edging left, Link charged, swinging the blade at Greeper's waist height horizontally.

"Ha!" Greeper backflipped acrobatically over the blade, slashing down at Link's extended arm as he landed and opening it from wrist to elbow. "Try again!"

"Gladly." Link winced; the wound was severe, and would keep him from using his sword-arm correctly in another few moments. _If I don't finish it this time, I'm sunk._ When he moved in again, he brought his sword down vertically from above.

"Fool!" Greeper tumbled to the left, then blinked as Link moved. Caught in mid-dodge, he was helpless as his opponent punched him in the face with his left hand. It was like hitting a balloon; his body had no weight at all, and he fell backwards. Straight over the edge of the wall. Silently seething, he dropped, his eyes bugging out as he saw Link light one more bomb and throw it straight into his tumbling form.

"That confirms something." Link said calmly as he watched Greeper explode in midair, the burnt remnants of his body melting into his shadow upon landing. "You all have some sort of elemental affinity. Yours is 'air,' isn't it? But you weren't able to fly, or even alter your fall in any way. In other words, you can't actually _use_ those elements directly. They're connected to your 'power,' but that's all. You don't have any elemental magic."

"Are you proud of that deduction?" Greeper asked, his shadow drifting back up to rejoin Link. "I imagine Hoad has been running his mouth about that as well, enough for you to put the pieces together. I might be more impressed once I find out exactly how much he told you, and how much you managed yourself."

"You seem to be taking this better than the others." Link noted with grudging respect. "I'll give you that. You don't act like an amateur when you lose."  
"Indeed I don't. After all, it's practically meaningless." Greeper said with calm disdain. "A few days, and I'll have the 'power' I lost here back. Easy enough to let the others keep you occupied; this will shut them up about me not getting involved. And you are still no closer to your goal than you were before. Your only hope of escape remains the belief that Hoad will keep his word. If he's even talking sense at all. Be smart, boy. Take my advice, and give up this futile battle. Otherwise... well, I don't have to draw you a map, I hope." His shadow darted away, and was gone.

"Goddesses, I need a drink." Link growled, turning away. He'd thought he'd seen some bandages inside Richard's room; after that, he still had two golden leaves to track down in the grounds. Sometimes, being a wandering swordsman really wasn't all it was cracked up to be.

As if to drive the point home, it started raining again.

* * *

By the time Link had gotten down to the ground again, both of the fallen leaves had been snatched up; one by Greeper's crow, who had been left behind, and the other by the second-in-command of the Darknuts. The former had nested in a tree, which Link was able to knock it out of by throwing rocks. The latter, on the other hand, had apparently constructed a series of tunnels and holes in the east side of the grounds, which he popped out of to throw bombs at Link.

By the time he killed both, Link was scorched, soaked, filthy, hungry and exhausted. Limping back down the southeast road, he slowly approached Richard's villa as night crept in. Entering, he blinked; the Prince was flitting around the kitchen between several pots and pans, singing in what was probably his native language.

"_Dieses!_" Richard yelped when he saw Link. "What happened, _mon ami_? I anticipated some difficulty, but..."

"Hoad, Greeper and Sliyes all put in appearances." Link explained, wincing, as he collapsed into a chair. "Sliyes just wanted to be annoying, but the other two made me work for those leaves of yours."

"You recovered them, then? Marvelous!" Richard whistled, and a moment later, a fairy flew in from another room. Seeing him, she immediately set to work with healing magic. "I asked this gentle lady to wait for you once you returned. Once you are well again, we may dine, and then please feel free to use the bath upstairs, yes? I don't know how the dratted thing works indoors myself, but we won't complain!"

"You just earned every single one of these." Link said truthfully, placing the golden leaves on the mantle as he felt his pain fade away. "Is there anything I can do for you, miss?"

The fairy simply smiled and shook her head; their kind could speak, but most of them chose not to around non-fairies unless absolutely necessary. Those who were chatty tended to spend more time with other sentient lifeforms than their own people. Waving at Richard, she departed through the window.

"Amazing what a few sweet words will do, eh?" Richard remarked cheerfully. "Come, my friend, a good meal is the least I can do to thank you for your service to me!"

"Well, I certainly won't say no." Link agreed. Anticipating the Prince, he rose and served them both, loading their plates what some pasta dish containing various kinds of meat and a white sauce. Pouring more wine as well, he took a bite and smiled; apparently, Richard had his skills after all. "Very good."

"You are too kind." Richard chuckled. "My real payment is, and remains, the key I promised you. I'm afraid it's buried in my backyard, and I have lost my shovel. You'll need to buy another one from Balzac; I believe they're reasonably priced."

"Something like that." Link shook his head; he'd been expecting something like that. Two hundred rupees wasn't what he called reasonable, but he'd seen worse. "I don't think Sliyes has even noticed that it's missing yet. Boy, is he in for a surprise." He chuckled wickedly.

"Your grudge against the Lords and Ladies runs deeper than most, does it not?" Richard noticed. "What have they done to inspire such anger? They are far from the most cordial of hosts, of course, but until this recent rudeness, I held no actual dislike for them."

"I've made my career out of fighting people like them." Link explained. Despite his odd personality, he sensed that he could be more frank in some regards with Richard than he could with Tarin and Marin. "More than anything, they remind me of a group called the Eyes of Ganon, who held control like this over another land. Call it a reaction based on experience; people who act like they do, with the kind of power they have, rub me the wrong way. More importantly, though, they seem able to prevent people from leaving this island, which I need to do."

"I see. So you harass them until they allow you to go?" Richard guessed. "If you are capable of doing it, then, more power to you. I hope you don't die!" He frowned. "It is odd, however. You are sure that they can grant you exit from here?"

"Hoad said something about that." Link said again, ignoring the chill that went through him at Richard's words. "Of course, he said I'd have to entertain him first, so that's still not exactly ideal. Why do you ask?"

"Something Lord Sliyes said to me once, when we were on better terms." Richard explained. "I inquired if they ever left the island themselves, to visit other lands. He insulted my intelligence, of course, but he also said something rather odd." He paused a moment; when he spoke again, it was a perfect imitation of Sliyes' high-pitched voice. "You imbecile. We're as bound to this island as you are, partaking of our power here. None of us can leave, any more than you can. It's irritating on occasion, but there's no helping it."

"That's quite a talent you have there." Link complimented him, his dismay growing. "How long ago was this?"

"Ah..." Richard thought for a moment before answering. "Some years ago, I believe. I forget exactly how many."

_So it can't just be to mess with me. Shit._ Link took a long drink of wine before speaking again. "I'll just have to hope that it's a lie, then. I'm certainly not going to give up, no matter what they say or do."

"Your resolve is admirable." Richard said after a moment. "What is it that drives you so, my friend? There must be more to your desire to escape than your dislike of the Lords and Ladies, to feel that strongly about it."

"Well..." Link paused for a moment, then gave in. "There's this girl..."

"Oh. I _see_." Richard raised an eyebrow. "This explains much. But you know, such things do pass in time. I know it seems like it will last forever, but in my experience, it's healthier to take a more realistic view of things, yes? Most men would be thrilled to be so close to young Marin, you realize. You cannot tell me seriously that you don't find her attractive."

"It's not that." Link weighed his words. "I'm not just talking about a fling here. Promise not to laugh?"

"You have my solemn word." Richard swore, putting his hand on his heart, or at least where he probably thought his heart was.

"I'm betrothed to the crown princess of Hyrule." Link explained. "Princess Zelda, King Lucas's only daughter."

"You are joking, yes?" Richard asked, then shook his head. "No, you would not. Not about such a thing. That _is_ a more weighty matter, then. To fail to keep that vow would be to commit treason, against the princess, the king, and your entire country. No wonder you feel so constrained by duty to return."

"You've hit on it. Plus..." Link closed his eyes. "Zelda and me... we've been through a lot. She's one of the most talented magicians in Hyrule, even though she's still young, and she was there in the field with me in the most dangerous job of my life so far. I like Marin, but... Zelda's different. She understands things Marin, or any other girl, never could. About Hyrule, about this kind of life..." _About Ganon, and the Triforce, and remembering another life thousand of years ago._ "It's more than words can describe, as trite as it is."

"Well then." Richard said after a moment. "There is only one thing to do, as you have said. We must find you a way out of here, and if there is not, we shall simply have to _make_ one. If nothing else, the Lords and Ladies must know _why_ it is impossible to leave. Finding that out is certainly a start. I swore that I would do everything in my power to help you, yes? I'm afraid accompanying you to their lairs would be out of the question-I've seen enough of them to know that would absolutely _ruin_ my shoes. Still, I can help you prepare beforehand, at least."  
"That would be great, actually." Link agreed, smiling. "Marin told me where their basic locations are, but that's about it. I'd appreciate as much information on them as possible before I go in. Especially Sliyes'; that's the next one I'm hitting, but I barely know anything about him, or his home. I prefer going in informed."

"Well then, it is quite fortuitous that I've actually visited him in his home, among others." Richard finished his meal, standing. "After you do the dishes and clean yourself up, then, we can go over everything I know about the Lord and the Key Cavern both." He sniffed. "Perhaps two baths-you reek of gunpowder, my friend. I did warn you about that bomb expert, you know."

"He wasn't as much of a problem as the crow, actually." Link rolled his eyes as he began to gather the dishes.

* * *

When Hoad walked into the meeting room in Kanalet, the other five there were all seated before him. More importantly, they were all glaring at him icily. Even Angish, which looked more than a little disturbing, even to Hoad. Sighing heavily, the fiery Lord pulled out his chair. "All right. Lay it on me. I'm in deep shit, aren't I?"

"You could say that, yes. You would likely win the understatement of the year award, but you could say it." Greeper said scathingly. "How did it go again, Sliyes?"

"I believe it was, 'make things more interesting around here, and I'll let you out.' _You blithering idiot!_" Sliyes began in a mocking tone before erupting in rage. "No _wonder_ he's been going around attacking us, imbecile!"

"You _squealed_, you little worm." Hoad spat at Morm. "You or Gie, and she ain't here. You'll regret that one, pal, even if everybody's backing you up at the moment. You remember what I said I'd do if you tattled about it."

"Hardly." Morm glared at him. "I didn't reveal your idiotic actions. Or rather, I only added to what Greeper and Sliyes already knew. There didn't seem much point in hiding it at that point. It was your precious Hero of Time who told them, actually. I'd be surprised you didn't see that one coming, if you had the brains Lord Ganon gave a snapdragon."

"Yeah, okay. You got me." Hoad leaned back in his chair. "I ran my mouth, did some bluffing. He's got the wrong idea. What's the big deal? You aren't gonna tell me you're actually _worried_ about him, are you?" He intentionally directed the last sentence at Sliyes in particular, smirking at the boy Lord.

"Not even close!" Sliyes sneered instantly. "Morm and Gie screwed up and lost to him. I've got no plans of doing the same. When he comes to me, I'll obliterate him, and the rest of you can all stop losing sleep."

"As always, you talk larger than you walk." Morm's eyes narrowed. "I'll believe that when I see it, and perhaps I won't even do that."

"Dear brother has a point. We get to _share_ him next time, and in your home." Sleel agreed. "Maybe we'll save you a piece, if you're lucky."

"And you tell me I'm all talk." Sliyes scoffed. "This, coming from the ones who've already lost."

"Enough blather." Greeper snarled, still glaring at Hoad. "He's trying to distract you by setting you at each others' throats. The fact remains that this entire mess was caused by your idiocy, Hoad. Thus, we will be removing you from our efforts to control this problem. The brat is no longer your concern, despite the fact that he bears your brand. The rest of us will eliminate him at our leisure. Is that understood? If any of us see you interfering with the brat again, or sharing information, there will be... consequences."

"Huh?" Hoad sat up, staring back. "What was that? I don't think I heard you right. Did you just say to stay out of it? Wanna say that again?"

"Angish." Greeper replied coolly. "Say goodbye to Hoad."

"Okay." The hulking Lord's fist shot out, reaching across the entire table, and smashed Hoad out of his chair. "Goodbye, Hoad."

"Now that that's taken care of, we're done here." Greeper stood, ignoring Angish and Hoad's brawling. "Sliyes' key was almost certainly stolen by Richard, which means Link will be entering the Key Cavern soon. When he does, the three of you shall engage him. Angish and myself will be held in reserve for the moment. And Sliyes... if you lose, don't think I'll let you leave it at that, like Gie seems content to."

"Do I look like her?" Sliyes scoffed as they all made their own departures, while Angish continued pummeling Hoad. "You don't even need to bring it up, Greeper. Ending the life of one Hylian swordsman will be easier than frying ants with a lens."


	6. Chapter 5: Electric Eye

_**Chapter Five: Electric Eye**_

_The moon is full never seems to change _

_Just labeled mentally deranged _

"This is not what I had in mind for beginning my day." Link muttered as he tromped through the Mysterious Woods, looking for the hidden cave Richard had told him about. "Not that I mind keeping Sliyes waiting, but still. I really should start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts." At least the weather had slightly improved; the clouds still loomed, but there was no rain at the moment, and the wind had died down somewhat as well.

During their conversations about Koholint last night, Richard had brought up something odd he had seen the other day in the Woods. A cavern with an insane purple bat living in it, apparently possessing phenomenal magical powers. That description was familiar to Link, and so after breakfast, he'd gone back to the forest once more to investigate. At the same time, he was keeping his eyes out for something that had began to occupy his mind more and more: the little strange things about Koholint that nagged at the edges of his senses, different from the normal reality he knew.

The problem was, so much of that was subjective. He _thought_ that the colors and shades of everything looked oddly bright, but that could have just been his imagination. The weather seemed weird as well, but without any actual meteorological knowledge, he couldn't say exactly _how_ it was weird. There were the talking animals and altered monsters, of course, but those could theoretically have been done by magic, albeit on a higher level than mortal life should be capable of.

In the end, that was what it always seemed to come down to. The Lords and Ladies, and their absolute dominion over Koholint. A dominion that Link was beginning to suspect bordered on the symbiotic. Despite the danger, he wished Zelda were here with him, and not just because of the obvious. She would have been able to examine the founts of magic he kept finding in their lairs, and probably the Instruments as well. Link had little to no skill with magic himself, though, so he could only make rough guesses, and those were hardly enough to form a plan of action from.

"So my only real hope is the vague guidance of an owl." Link muttered to himself. "Not that it's the first time, but still, not exactly the sort of thing one puts on their resume either. Aha, here we go..." He'd finally found the cave Richard had spoke of. Entering, he found a well set in the back, flanked by hideous gargoyles. A bronze plaque in the well's side bore the inscription, "KEEP OFF THE LAWN." It was all too familiar, and there was both good and bad in that.

"On the plus side, it looks like somebody I know is here. Somebody who might even be able to figure a way out." Link muttered. "On the minus side... why did it have to be _her?_" Shaking his head, he gave in and dumped a sprinkling of magic powder into the well. That was how he'd woken the being up before, and he was willing to bet it would work again.

"Yooooooooooo!" In a puff of plaid smoke, a giant purple bat with an oversized head soared out of the well before hovering in the air above Link. Its head was topped by a flowery bonnet, and its voice that of a chain-smoking grandmother. "Can you not read the sign? Is it not written in basic Hylian? Do I need to make you eat it, kid-" She paused, staring hard at Link. "Say. Aren't you Blind the Thief?"

"No." Link said flatly. "And that sign isn't in Hylian at all." As soon as she'd soared out, the sign had changed, and now said, "FABRICATI DIEM." It was also now pink-enameled. "Nice to see you again too, Mad." Power beyond imagining and a mental state defying comprehension combined to form the Mad Batter, who normally lived in a similar cave back in Hyrule. It had been years since Link had seen her, which didn't bother him at all, but he'd heard that Handy and Neosquid had recruited her for something they called "R&D," and deliberately avoided inquiring further.

"Oh. Okay." The Mad Batter changed tack instantly, reclining on nothingness while summoning a glass filled with some atrocious-looking neon beverage. "Heeeeeey, I remember you now. You're the guy! You know, with the thing! You're the one who _got_ me my vacation here on this place! Thanks a lot, kiddo, but don't think I won't get my revenge for that! The g-men sent me here to look for you!"

"I assume that refers to Neosquid and Handy." Link did his best to interpret her gibberish. "Should have known they'd have tried to do something when I didn't arrive at the next place on schedule. Even if it looked like a shipwreck, Zelda doesn't pay them to accept things like that at face value. Remind me to give them a raise when we get back home. And you too, I guess. If they even pay you."

"I get paid in sand dollars." The Mad Batter explained, creating a mural of sand in the shape of King Lucas' portrait. Before Link could examine it closer or ask what a dollar was, though, it blew away, forming the word "COUNTERFEIT," in the air as it went. "Problem with that, though, chief. I managed to slip in here through the chimney-and let me tell you, that thing _seriously_ needs a good sweeping-but when I looked again, somebody'd greased the damn thing!" A black and white arrow sign pointing down appeared on the wall, labeled "ONE WAY."

"So what you're saying is, you're stuck on this island too. With me." Link buried his head in his hands. "Kill me now."

"Nah, you're not my type." The Batter said cheerfully. "I picked up one of those newfangled phone things, though, and I'm trying to hook it up to my three-dimensional intercontinental holographic display rerouter. If I can get that working, maybe we can call up the office and get them to send in a taxi. Or the army. Either one works, really."

"So... you might be able to contact Hyrule." Link replied after a moment. "Well, that's good. I'll check back here in a few days."

"Nah, I'm moving out. Need someplace on the beach. There's too much traffic around here." The Batter told him as she levitated a bulging briefcase out of the well. "Trucks downshifting on the freeway all night. Look me up in the yellow pages! Here, I'll make it easy for you!" Her eyes glowed, and magical beams struck Link. "There you go, double your kool-aid mix! Easier than ever to throw bottles at my house! Be seeing you, Captain Comic!" She blasted a hole through the roof and was gone, leaving only a pair of flaming underwear in her wake.

"I'm going to die of liver failure before I get off of this place." Link muttered as he left the cave. "I just know it." Examining his bag of magic powder, he found that though it looked no bigger on the outside, when he opened it, the interior seemed twice as deep. "Bombs would have been better. Good thing I stocked up on those again." He'd bought more bombs from Balzac in Koholint before coming to the Woods; unfortunately, Marin and Tarin had both been out when he'd passed through, though the other villagers had greeted him cheerfully.

It was on the way back that he saw Tarin, as he was walking down the western roads of the Ukuku Prairie. His friend was looking somewhat disconsolate, squatting on a tree stump. Waving, Link headed over. "Hey, Tarin! Something wrong?"

"Hey yuh, Link!" Tarin waved back, instantly looking more cheerful. "How ya doing? Shame Marin's not here; she's out fishing with old Mickey. I've been trying to find a nice big stick around here, but I haven't been having any luck at all..." His eyes traveled up to Link's pack, where the stick he'd kept from Kanalet was still poking out the top. Somehow, it hadn't been ruined by the rain. "Just like that one you got there!"

"Well then, it looks like your luck just changed." Link handed it over happily. "You'll have more use for it than I will, probably. I was just keeping it around for the heck of it. What do you need it for, anyways?"

"I'll just borrow it for a second." Tarin promised, using the stick to point at a nearby tree. "See over there? There's a beehive, and it's burstin' with honey! I'll just knock a piece off real quick, then skedaddle before the bees catch me!"

"Um..." Link started to form an objection, but Tarin was already walking over, swinging the stick. Wincing, he ran over to a nearby ditch and jumped in, unable to watch.

A noisy commotion and many yelps of pain later, after Tarin's footsteps faded off into the distance, Link rose and looked back. The bees were gone, and so was Tarin. A large chunk of honeycomb had in face been knocked off, and Tarin had apparently thought ahead enough to spread a piece of cloth below to catch it. Carefully, Link crept over, and when no bees attacked him, he snatched the honeycomb up and wrapped it in the cloth before stowing it in his pack. "I'll give this to Tarin next time I see him."

From there, it was time to open the Key Cavern. He'd found the Slime Key in Richard's backyard faster than he'd expected; it bore a green blob with a single eye. Opening the entrance, he walked through the edge of the pond's muck to get inside, grimacing. It didn't help that the entrance was particularly low-hung, causing him to hit his head on it as he bent over to get in. _Oh, this one's going to be _fun_, I can tell._

Inside, however, everything was completely different. The floor was tile, the walls and ceiling metal, everything cold and smooth. A small side passage stretched off to the right, while the way leading onward was blocked by a door with some device locking it. As a final touch, on the left wall, a telephone was ringing. After staring at it for a moment, Link picked it up.

"I see you finally managed to stumble your way over here." Sliyes's voice greeted him. "It certainly took you long enough. I would have thought you would have managed it at dawn, but then, perhaps I overestimated your ability. At any rate, welcome to my home. I'm afraid I don't exactly have any tea to put on."

"Cute setup, kid." Link replied sarcastically. "Did you go to all the trouble of rigging these things through your own home just so you could insult me the entire time I was here? That's real sweet of you."

"Hardly. Don't flatter yourself." Sliyes sneered. "These were the first ones I built, after we found a book on technology from a far-off country. It's amazing how quickly the world outside progresses in some places, while others like Hyrule remain trapped in the past for millennia on end. Of _course_ I perfect everything I build here before I let the rest of the island use it."

"You don't want to turn shoddy products out and embarrass yourself when they break down." Link interpreted. "All right, I can believe that. So is this entire cavern your workshop, then?"

"More or less. I'm sure you've already noticed the door." Sliyes chuckled wickedly. "Sorry to disappoint you, but the key you worked so hard for will only get you this far. You're not getting past that door. Feel free to look the other way, however, and see something else I cooked up. Consider it a reward for getting this far."

"From you? What is it, a better bomb?" Link rolled his eyes. "We'll just see about that, kid. Give me a moment." Putting the phone down, he peeked into the side passage without actually entering. The long hall was a dead-end, and spike-filled trenches lined both side of it. At the end, there was what looked like a tiny mechanical windmill sitting on a chest. As Link watched, it suddenly activated, filling the side hall with gale-force winds for a few moments before stopping. Even at the far end, his hat was blown off.

"Thought so. A deathtrap with bait." Link picked up his hat. "I'll pass." Going back outside, he looked around and quickly found a hefty rock larger than his own head. The bracelet he'd taken back from Gie easily allowed him to carry it into the Key Cavern and hurl it at the door, smashing it down, mechanical lock and all. Smirking, he picked up the phone. "Send the bill for that one to Hyrule." Without waiting for Sliyes's response, he dropped it and walked through the wreckage into the next room.

As soon as he entered, an unfortunate sight awaited him. Two mechanical monsters, black spheres on feet with glass eyes and fuses on top of their heads. Link groaned. "Me and my big mouth. He _did_ build a better bomb. One that walks." Disgusted, he chopped at one without thinking. As soon as his blade struck it, the fuse lit, and it hurled itself around the room at great speed, bouncing off the walls-and the other bomb soldier-several times before detonating. The other one followed suit as soon as it had been struck, and Link barely raised his shield in time to guard himself from both explosions.

"If this was ever amusing, it wouldn't be any more." He made a face, seeing another ringing telephone. He ignored it. After a moment, a hole opened in the wall, and a mechanical arm popped out to pick the phone up for him.

"How do you like my bomb soldiers?" Sliyes gloated. "No matter _what_ you do to them, they won't die without taking off and blowing up first!"

"Wind-up toys. You're awfully proud of them." Link shrugged; hopefully, the little Lord couldn't actually see him wincing. "Hope you've got plenty, then. I seem to be going through them rather fast." He moved on without waiting for a response, seeing a treasure chest down the hall. Slime-blob zols popped out of the floor to attack them, and he cleaved them in half. Reaching the chest, he opened it, only for another zol inside to slam into his face, acidic substance burning him. Growling, he cut it off as well.

"Too bad! Wrong one!" Sliyes's voice taunted from the entrance of the hall.

"Keep laughing, buddy." Link muttered under his breath, not bothering to snap back. "We'll see who's sneering when we meet face-to-face." He glanced into another side passage and shook his head; the chest in there, on top of being guarded by stalfos, was barricaded off by raised orange blocks. There was a staircase leading downwards before it; chopping up the bonemen, Link cautiously crept down. There, he found a perfectly square room with a locked door in the center of each wall, and a key on a table in the center.

"Shall we play a game?" Sliyes said through a telephone next to the key. "Pick a door, any door, and see how lucky you are!"

"Sure." Link raised his shield before approaching the table, and the zols lurking in the floor bounced off as they sprang. "Nice try." Once they were dead, he took the key to the western door, and opened it. On the other side, the room was divided in half by a spike-filled trench, with mechanical, moving floors on either side leading in-conveyor belts, they had been called in the Dark World. Before Link, between him and the belts, two odd creatures bobbed up and down on tiny legs, almost all oversized heads with ballooning cheeks and bulging eyes.

"Bzzzzt! Wrong!" Sliyes announced cheerfully. "You'll have to kill my Mimics if you want another try!"

Link's response was to slice at one of the bizarre creatures. As his blade neared it, it vanished in a puff of smoke, reappearing on the far side of the trench. Chirping, it fired magical blast from its eyes. Dodging that brought Link near to the second one, which promptly did the same. This time, the shot singed his leg in passing. Pausing for a moment in thought, he lit a bomb and threw it over the trench between the two of them. They didn't register it as a threat, not even turning to look as it detonated and blew them both away.

"Not bad." Sliyes admitted grudgingly, as a key dropped from the ceiling. "Of course, those _are_ a failed experiment. Still, they serve for entertaining me whenever somebody pays me a visit. Care to try again?"

"So you're the one who's been screwing around with the monsters on this island as well." Link replied coldly, trying the northern door this time. As much as he hated playing along with the little Lord's games, it looked like that would be the only way he'd get anywhere. "You're really climbing up my shit list, buddy. The turtles and land squid were bad enough, but winged octorocks? That's just wrong on so many levels."

"You have no sense of humor, that's all." Sliyes retorted, sounding sulky. "Lucky guess!" The room was a dead-end, but it contained both a colored glass switch and a stone slab missing its piece. "Unlike some of my brethren, I don't really mind those stupid things. Just another thing to make this more complicated. See if you can track down the piece!"

"So Hoad just scattered these through here to piss the rest of you off?" Link guessed, hitting the switch. More Zols popped out of the floor to ambush him again, of course, but as always he was ready to cut them down.

"Hoad? That's a laugh. He threw the biggest tantrum of all when they popped up." Sliyes snickered. "Tried everything he could to destroy it, and pouted for a solid month when he couldn't. Maybe that stupid owl's responsible. It certainly seems like the sort of think he would do."

"You know, it actually does." Link agreed. "Wasn't sure he _could_ do this, but if he could, he would, all right. Guess you are pretty smart after all."

"Heh! Don't think flattery will get you anywhere with me, even if you are right about me being a genius." Sliyes snorted, sounding pleased despite himself. "Well? What now? There's another key right there, too."

"I see it." Link picked the key up. "Before I use it, though, I've got something else to see to. Just a moment." Returning to the previous floor, he opened the chests that had been blocked off before. One held the piece of the slab, and the other a map of the cavern. Checking it, he groaned. "Okay. While I've got one of you on the line, let me just say this. Morm's home was shaped like a Moldorm. Gie's was a bottle shape. If you turn into a pair of keys, I'm not going to be able to take fighting you seriously."

"You assume you're even going to make it that far." Sliyes replied, irritated again. "I wouldn't, if I were you. And even if you do, don't worry about _that._ I'm more imaginative than to simply shape my home after myself, unlike those two clods."

"Good to know. And yet you still couldn't think of a better name than 'Key Cavern.' I guess I'll give you points for accuracy." Returning to the basement, Link checked his map. By his reckoning, east was the way to go to move on. _I want to just go, but I really should look, just in case._ Opening the south door, he found a maze of conveyor belts filling the room, changing directions every few feet. Another pit was in the center of the maze, and two more Mimics slid around idly.

"Wrong again!" Sliyes jeered. "You know the drill!"

"Boy, do I ever." Link muttered. Bombs wouldn't work this time; the belts would carry them away from the Mimics. Instead, he simply stood in the doorway and waited. The mimics made no movements without any action from him, and eventually the belts dumped both into the central pit, as he'd guessed. As soon as they were dead, he ran forward, grabbing the key as it fell onto the belts near the end of the line. "Nice try. You're getting predictable."

"Luck again." Sliyes growled. "Keep going, fool! If you think you can handle it!"

"Oh, by all means." Going back into the northern room, Link read the slab. _Far away? Do not fear... dash and fly!_ "Can't say I like the sound of that..." Opening up the eastern room, he winced; a conveyor belt going towards him appeared to make twists and turns several times, and two more Mimics bobbed on it expectantly. Acting quickly, Link threw a bomb between them. The belt carried it as well as them, so it was still between them when it went off. Grabbing the dropping key, Link calmly ran down the belt, then yelped as a pair of keese sunk their fangs into his arm.

"Did you really think I wasn't going to change it up?" Sliyes laughed. "Idiot!"

"Cheap trick." Link snorted, unimpressed. At the end of the belt was another staircase, leading to a separate part of the upper floor. "What next, ringmaster?"

"An intermission on my part, I'm afraid." Sliyes sighed theatrically. In front of Link were two doors, one locked and one not. "The door on the left will lead you to more keys, and the path on the right will require them. Let's see how many you can get, shall we?"

"I'm game." Link shrugged, strolling down the left path. "How come you say that it's a break for you, then? Need a nap, kiddo?" Seeing who was waiting there, he groaned.

"I see you've been enjoying your conversation with the littlest Lord." Sleel greeted him, her and Morm both lounging, draped across each other on a couch. Aside from that piece of furniture, the room was just as smooth and blank as all of the others in the Key Cavern; tile and steel, and nothing more. "Has he been entertaining you with his games, then?"

"About as entertaining as watching moblins dance." Link said with a face. "You'd think that would be hilarious, but it's not. It's just terrible. I'd still take either one over this, though." Mentally, he cursed, but kept his face blank. _Two of them at once. This could be bad. _

"A shame, then, that the decision is not up to you." Morm rolled his eyes. "My heart weeps with sympathy."

"I can make it weep with something else if you want." Link offered. "Let's cut the chit-chat, huh? We all know what you're doing here, and you're the _last_ one I want to spend all day bantering with. I guess you're a little better, lady, but I still don't have all day."

"Rude, as always. I don't mind that in some men, though." Sleel said as both of them stood, and the couch fell away into a trapdoor. "As you wish, then. Remember, dear brother, follow my lead this time."

"Yes, yes." Morm muttered irritably as the room's temperature lowered drastically. Inexplicably, snow began to fall, first in flakes, then flurries, and then a raging storm of it that lasted only a moment. Link raised his arm to shield his face; when it was done, he saw that Morm and Sleel were both covered in it. As soon as it had come, the snow began to melt away, and both twins lunged out, transformed into a pair of bizarre snakes. Formed out of a series of glossy black spheres, they had no eyes; the head at the beginning of the line was dominated solely by a gaping, smiling mouth.

"Well." Link commented. "This looks unpleasant."

"Should we take that as a compliment, sweet sister?" Morm asked, sounding amused.

"I believe we shall." Sleel replied. "Come here, hero, and give me a kiss, hmmm?"

"And people ask me why I don't like to fight women." Link muttered, edging away from them. Both snakes were creeping slowly forward; they didn't turn towards him as he moved around. _No eyes. Bad sense of hearing, too, if they're like normal snakes. How do they intend to fight me? _Behind Morm now, he moved in and sliced downward. His sword bounced off harmlessly, and he swore, as the snake's head whirled around, darting for him. Raising his shield, he grimaced as the beast's jaws locked around it entirely. "Hey, drop it!"

"I think not." Morm managed to speak clearly despite what he was doing. "Over here, sister. I'll be taking his arm, but you can have the rest."

"Oh, you _do_ love me, dear brother." Sleel said cheerfully, advancing on Link from behind.

"Wrong!" Link hacked at Morm's head, but there was no damage whatsoever. He even tried poking at the inside of the monster's mouth, but as soon as he did, his sword was almost pulled inside, and he was forced to abandon that thought. _Dammit. They're almost like dodongos... hey, wait a moment!_ As he kept moving his shield around, forcing Morm to stay on it, he pulled out a bomb with his free hand. Lighting it, he shoved it around the edge of his shield, into the monster's mouth. "Eat this."

"Damn you!" Morm growled, unable to stop himself from doing so. A moment passed, and then the last link in the snake's body exploded, leaving three more. The jolt forced him to drop Link's shield, and he skipped away, pausing only to toss another bomb in Sleel's path.

"Got you-eh?" The female snake swallowed the bomb, then gasped. "Ack! No!" Like Morm, the last segment of her body blew up.

"Get back here!" Morm yelled, turning blindly. "One bomb isn't enough to destroy us, you fool!"

"No, but more might do it." Link said cheerfully, staying away from them. "You designed these forms pretty simply. I bet you never even thought about this weakness." Lighting another bomb, he rolled it into Morm's gaping maw. "You can't even close your mouths, can you? There's nothing you can do to stop yourselves."

"Corner him, dear brother!" Sleel suggested, as another segment of Morm's body detonated. "Restrict his movements, and kill him before he wears us down!"

"Very well, sweet sister!" Morm agreed, both of them turning towards Link's current location, and coming at him from different diagonals. "We have his scent now. Focus on it, and ignore his words. If he tries to slip past you, devour him."

"Go ahead and try it." Link growled, backing up. _Sense of smell. Forgot that. _He darted towards Sleel's right, but she lunged, and he was forced to retreat into the corner of the room. Cursing, he threw another bomb in her path, and she gulped it down. By the time he got another ready to lob at Morm, though, they were only feet away.

"Ha!" Morm laughed, suddenly making a u-turn as soon as Link dropped the fifth bomb. "I can smell the gunpowder as well!" Sleel turned her head away as well.

"Crap." Link muttered as the bomb went off. This close, the blast singed him, and then they were turning back, almost on him. _Morm or Sleel-Morm._ Taking out another bomb, he shoved his shield arm towards Sleel. As she latched on, he thrust his other hand into Morm's mouth, pitching the bomb in. The snake's jaws closed on his elbow, and he screamed; even though fangless, they were like a steel vise. _Come on, come on..._

"Damn you..." Morm hissed. "Finish him now, sister!" The bomb went off, and all that remained was his head, which began exploding as well, jaws releasing in death. Ignoring the shadow, Link turned back towards Sleel as she dropped his shield and lunged for his legs.

"Got you!" She exulted, mouth gaping wide. "You're _mine_, handsome man!"

"Wrong." Link dived forward, over her body. It only provided him a reprieve of a few seconds, but that was enough to grab one last bomb, light it, and drop it in.

"_No!_" Sleel screamed in fury, still pulling Link into her maw even as the bomb went off.

"Shit!" Link cursed aloud; that blast had done more than singe him, as close as he was to it. The shrapnel from Sleel's armored body was more than a little painful as well. As she exploded and was gone, he looked around, and saw the fairy that had left Morm's remains watching him, wide-eyed. "Close one, huh? Do you mind?" Another one rose from Sleel, and Link made a mental note to try and find out exactly why that happened. He wasn't complaining, though; one sorely needed healing later, he stepped through into the next room.

"You forgot the key." Sliyes said smugly, on the phone again, in the next room. "Might want to go back for that."

"Thanks. I think." Link rolled his eyes, doing so, then returning. "All right, what's the game here?" There were two more mimics staring dumbly at him.

"No game." Sliyes replied innocently. "Just kill them. If you can."

"Right." Link advanced, shield up. As he neared the mimics, two things happened; one, they disappeared as usual, and two, a pair of bomb soldiers walked in from the next room. "Nice try!" Using the roc's feather, he jumped over them, used the whirling blade strike on them from behind as he landed, then dashed on into the next room without waiting to see the results. Only after a few seconds did he look back to see the room. Not only had both mimics been killed, but the phone had been demolished. Most interesting of all, though, was a hole blown through one wall.

"Hello... this _is_ on the map." Link noted idly, stepping through. Inside was a treasure chest, and nothing more, not even a phone. "Looks like I found the hidden stash." Inside were a pair of old red boots, with decorative steel wings attached to them. Link's pegasus boots, crafted by the descendant of the Sage of Light. "Should have known he had no intention of forking these back over. Guess I got lucky." Slipping them on, he returned to the main path and continued.

"You think you're so smart, don't you?" Sliyes snarled, all traces of amusement gone. "Well, let's see how you like these!" Three bomb soldiers entered the door from the room beyond. As soon as they saw Link, all of them suddenly grew huge, nasty grins.

"Oh, this is a good sign." Link muttered, slashing at one. His sword bounced off, and the mechanical monster kept advancing.

"These are a new model I'm testing!" Sliyes explained, happy again. "They'll just keep stalking you until their timers go off, and when they do, _kaboom!_ Try anything you want; nothing will stop them!"

"This timer of yours." Link replied calmly, bringing up his shield instead to keep them from trampling him; all three simply bounced off it over and over again. "You don't know yourself when it'll go off, do you?"

"Don't be stupid." Sliyes scoffed. "As if I wouldn't think of an obvious design flaw like _that_. Look, even _you_ can see it." In the glass eyes of the bomb soldiers, numbers were visible, counting down.

"Yeah, now I can." Link agreed. "Thanks for the tip!" As soon as their eyes hit one, he used the whirling blade strike again, flinging all three several feet away from him. They exploded a moment later, before they could march back. "Close one, I'll give you that. I'm glad those are just being tested-that means you don't have any more."

"Take your damn key and go." Sliyes replied sullenly, as it dropped from above.

"With pleasure." Link pocketed it and advanced. There, the last room was simple; on the opposite side of a huge chasm was a treasure chest. There was no visible way across.

"What now?" Sliyes gloated. "Figure this one out, smart guy!"

"Well, now. This _is_ tricky." Link muttered again; flattery, however grudging, seemed to keep Sliyes off guard. "You would have had me here, if I hadn't gotten lucky. Watch this." Gripping the roc's feather firmly, he charged, running headlong.

"Are you stupid or suicidal?" Sliyes yelped, then recovered. "Not that I care! Kill yourself, by all means!"

"You wish." Link grinned. As he ran, the magic in the pegasus boots activated, and he blasted forward at the speed of an arrow in flight. He jumped, and the roc's feather boosted him further into the air, flying across the chasm like he'd been launched from a catapult. Straight into the opposite wall. "Pain." Slowly, he dropped off next to the chest; fortunately, none of his teeth had been loosened. _Okay, that one still needs some testing. Never would have been able to do it without this feather, so it's a new trick._ Opening the chest, he took out one final key, this one larger, with horns.

"Come on, then!" Sliyes shrieked. "Come and get me! I dare you!" The phone hung up with an audible _click._

"Poor sport." Link smiled to himself. There was just enough room for him to get the acceleration needed to jump back across. Once he returned back to where the paths branched, however, he didn't take the other just yet. Instead, he went all the way back to the entrance to the Key Cavern, and went into the side room Sliyes had first mentioned. The wind-making machine was no match for his pegasus boots; it was slow going, but he was able to cross the bridge and break it with his sword. There, in the chest, he found one more small key. "Thought so. Some people just can't play fair."

Four locked doors stood in Link's way, with no other 'games' between them; there was that much to be thankful for, at least. At the end of them, however, was a ladder down into a tunnel, where he found himself confronted by another wide chasm, this one clearly too far for him to jump across. Further up the ladder, though, was a small tunnel, one that he was barely able to stand in. It was clearly made for somebody shorter. More importantly, there was a stone cube blocking it off. As Link stared, a face appeared on it.

"Give it up, punk!" The blockface yelled. "You're not getting through here! Lord Sliyes put me in to keep you out!"

"I am beginning to develop a fairly severe dislike for these dungeons." Link muttered with vast understatement as he examined the situation. Climbing back down the ladder, he looked again; the block was visible above the chasm as well.

"Don't think those bombs of yours will rattle me!" The block kept shouting. "I'm invincible, you shithead!"

"We'll see." Returning to the tunnel, Link drew his sword, and aimed it at where the block met the ceiling. "Oh, this is going to suck..." Accelerating with the boots, he rammed the sword into the crack, smashing himself into it in the process.

"What the hell?" The block yelped as it pried loose. Roaring, it fell into the chasm. "You son of a brick!"

"Cute." Link muttered, sitting down and waiting until the ringing in his ears stopped. When the tunnel was no longer spinning around him, he jumped across the hole in it where the block had fallen, and proceeded to the ladder on the other side, climbing up. One final trial awaited him; a maze of conveyor belts, with keese lurking around. Link navigated it without much effort, killing the bats whenever they came close, and opened the locked door in the far well with the horned key.

Sliyes had his back to Link; he stood in front of a workbench, tinkering with some device; its function was difficult to comprehend. The entire room was filled with similar things, on shelves and tables, desks and display stands. Not even looking up, the little Lord spoke. "Just a moment, asshole. Let me see what's in here causing the problem, and then we can settle this."

"By all means." Link leaned back against the wall, amused despite himself at Sliyes's behavior. "Going to be long?"

"No, here we go." Grimacing, Sliyes drew a half-chewed acorn out of the workings with a pair of tweezers. "I have _got_ to remember to put everything away when Angish comes over." Placing the device on a shelf with many other, he turned towards Link, the room's light reflecting off of his glasses. "Forgive my rudeness. Technology is my greatest delight, you see. It's amazing, just how far natural, sentient lifeforms have come in such a short time. They've only been around for a few millennia, and yet in Lefain, they build ships that fly. Zeal has constructed working matter teleporters. And in Tourian, they have tamed the lightning itself."

"Impressive." Link raised an eyebrow, looking around. "Taming the lightning. Marin said something about that being involved in creating those telephones. Probably everything else here, too. It's you, isn't it? It's why you're so into it. You're 'lightning,' aren't you?"

"Not bad." Sliyes admitted, smiling unpleasantly. "But you need my name, not my source of power. And before that, you need to kill me. Which will be easier said than done, I'm afraid. Ready to give it a shot?"

"Any time you are." Link gestured with his sword. "Do me a favor and change first, will you? Strange as it might seem to you, I'd rather not kill anything that looks like you do right now, even if I know it's bullshit."

"I'm almost tempted to fight you like this just because of that, now, but somehow, I think you'd be able to overcome that feeling of yours." Sliyes pressed a button on one bench, and all the shelves and tables and everything else slid into the walls and floor, taking the inventions away. "No, I think I'll go with the safest bet. I'll kill you the intelligent way, and all of the other idiots will have to live with the fact that I triumphed where they failed."

The change was slow and gradual; electricity began to flicker around and in Sliyes' hands, then his arms and body. As it moved through him, the little Lord began to melt, his child's body falling apart and sloughing off in great globs of translucent green slime. One layer of his body at a time turned to goo; first his skin, then the muscle tissue, followed by his organs. Finally, only his skeleton remained, submerged in slime that still flowed with electricity.

When even his bones were gone, the slime began to spread across the floor. Grimacing, Link stepped back, but there was no need; like zols concealing themselves, Sliyes's substance melted into the tile, which took on on a greenish tint. The contamination spread up the walls, until no trace of slime remained. Only then did Sliyes speak again, his voice echoing shrilly. "You can't fight what you can't find, hero! Nyah nyah! You'll never figure out where I am now!"

"Bet?" Link replied calmly, looking around warily, sword drawn. The green tint was fading from the walls now, but there was still no sign of Sliyes. Suddenly, a foul-smelling ooze covered his head, and acid began to burn him. Yelling, Link sliced at it, being careful not to cut his own face. The remnants of a dead zol slid off, and he made a face. "Okay. That's just gross." He rolled to the side a moment later, just in time to avoid another; it fell past where he had been and landed firmly, only to die like the other. _Came from above. That means..._ Dodging a third falling zol, Link looked up.

"Gah!" Sliyes yelped, realizing he had been spotted. Stuck to the ceiling, the little Lord was nothing more than a vast, oval eye formed of the same gelatinous muck as zols. As Link watched, a blob of his substance dripped off and came to life, sprouting beady eyes of its own as it fell. "So you found me! Big deal! I'm not coming down until you're dead! I'll wear you down until you're exhausted!"

Link chose not to banter; instead, he sliced down the zols while keeping his eyes on Sliyes. _First things first; I need to get him down from there. I can't even reach him to attack, like that. Bombs won't shake him loose, though; only one way to do that, and it's going to suck._ Grimacing, Link sheathed his sword, clutched his shield with both hands, and charged at the far wall with all the speed his pegasus boots could muster. When he hit, he did his best to brake and soften his own impact without losing any of the force, but still heard-and felt-a sickening crunch from his nose.

"You dumbass! What-oh. Oh, _nooooooo!_" Sliyes started to taunt, then howled as his entire body began to drip loose. Unable to stop it, he crashed down into the center of the floor with a titanic impact, denting the tile. "You lousy little... fine! The hard way it is!"

Turning around, Link ignored the throbbing pain in his face and began hacking at Sliyes. The eye showed no damage at all; it simply spread outwards, then back in, as it crept towards him, obviously with the intent to crush him against a wall. _All right then, let's try this._ Kicking up his boots, Link charged like a jouster, sword held before him as he crashed into Sliyes. The sword did not penetrate the muck for more than a few inches; instead, the force created a sliver of division, forcing the blob into a different shape.

"What are you doing?" Sliyes demanded as Link repeated the process, his pupil dividing into two as well. The charging blows had the additional effect of pushing him back, even as they narrowed the connection between the two halves, until it was only a bridge. "Cut that out, already!"

Link's only response was to continue his attacks, until the slime's cohesion could no longer hold. Shrieking in pain, Sliyes snapped apart, the two eyes becoming separate spheres. Immediately, Link chose one and sliced at the pupil. As he'd hoped, the amount of slime was reduced enough now that his sword could reach it, and the Lord howled again. Only then did Link smile, despite the blood tricking down his face. "Got you."

"You think so?" Sliyes yelled, as the two eyes sprang into motion. With surprising agility considering their weight, they both hopped towards Link, who barely jumped out of the way in time. Only his leg was caught; fortunately, it was sucked into the goo instead of being crushed. Even so, acid burned him, and he pulled it out immediately before slashing again at the injured eye, driving it back enough to scramble away. Limping slightly, he ran around the room's perimeter, both eyes hopping after him unevenly.

The fact that they were not moving in unison was Link's only salvation. Every few seconds, he could pause and drive the closer one back with a cut to the pupil, and be running again before the other caught him, which would then become the target next time. _If he catches on, I'm finished. But if I can just kill one before he does..._

"_Hey!_" Sliyes yelled, and Link cursed mentally, whirling around. Fortunately, the closer one was the more damaged of the two.

_Now or nothing!_ Charging the eye, he drove his sword into it with all the force of his arms, body, and magical boots. As a final touch, he jumped with the roc's feather, adding even gravity to the impetus. The eye froze, transfixed, and then it began to melt, sliding apart into a foul goop that tingled where Link touched it, and sparkled with faint energy.

"No! No, no, no, no, no!" Sliyes screamed in denial as Link closed with the remaining eye.

"Yes." Pitilessly, Link drove it back with cut and slash and stab, up against the back of the room, until like the first, it died and dissolved into flickering tendrils of energy. Sheathing his sword dramatically, Link watched the little Lord's shadow rise from his disgusting remains.

"You worm... how dare you humiliate me like this!" Sliyes raged. "I'll kill you! I'll reform again and rip you to shreds!"

"Wrong. Slime Eyes." Link guessed, and smiled in satisfaction as his enemy gasped and flinched. "You had me stumped up until I actually saw you. Even then, it didn't quite click until you divided, Slime Eyes. You're supposed to be two, aren't you, Slime Eyes? That single form was a trick, Slime Eyes. You're really quite clever, Slime Eyes."

"Wait... just hold on!" Sliyes protested weakly. "What do you think this will accomplish? Fighting us all will do nothing to free you! Hoad lied! He _couldn't_ free you if he _wanted_ to! Nothing can leave this island!"

"Almost nothing, Slime Eyes." Link replied firmly, though he felt a pang of dismay; the brat's words were too panicked for there to be much chance he was lying. "I hear there's a guy around here called the Wind Fish, Slime Eyes. Maybe if I wake him up, he'll find a way out. Thanks for donating your instrument to that cause, Slime Eyes."

"So _that's_ why you're taking them!" Sliyes gasped, so shocked that he no longer noticed his own dissipation. "You're actually trying to wake the Wind Fish? Don't you have any idea what that would... do..." His voice trailed off into a faint whisper, and then not even that, as he vanished.

"I know your name and nature, Slime Eyes." Link said quietly. "Begone from this place." Fighting a further surge of sudden apprehension, he walked forward into the last room. The fountain there was, as far as he could tell, of lightning; it was not in the form of bolts, but the glowing blue-white power flowing from the floor looked close enough that he wasn't going to touch it to find out. Stepping around it carefully, he approached the altar, and picked up the finely crafted metal bell he found there, reading the inscription. "The Sea Lily."

The music was familiar by now, but it was no less haunting, as light blinded him and then deposited him outside of the Key Cavern. Looking into the pond, he made a face. "Goddesses, I wish that was clean water. Guess I'll have to settle for hoping nobody sees me like this until I find a bath. Well, except a fairy."

"Hoot hoot! I am afraid I must dash that hope as well." The owl said cheerfully, perching on a rock that protruded far enough from the pond to be clean. "If it helps, there is a fairy in a small cavern five minutes' walk north of here. It has been some time, lad. It is good to see you again, hoot, and good to see you have kept collecting the instruments!"

"Three now." Link agreed. "What was keeping you?"

"One of the Lords sent a monster of great power to dog my flight." The owl explained. "The one who calls himself Greeper. Be wary of him; he is the most cunning of their number. It was only a short time ago that I managed to escape the beast."

"First that crow, now this." Link remembered the bird with irritation. "Guy must have a talent with animals. Well, I'll keep an eye out, but that's not saying much, you know. Of all the ones I've met, the only other one aside from Greeper I'd call even remotely smart was the guy I just beat the slime out of." He stared at the owl firmly. "He did say something interesting, though. Seemed to imply that waking the Wind Fish would have some unpleasant side effects."

"Ah, hoot." The owl shifted uncomfortably, lifting one talon, then the other. "That may very well be so. And yet, it is the only way you, or any others on this island, shall ever depart. Play the eight instruments before the egg, and wake the Wind Fish. If you would still seek that goal, go now to the Yarna desert. The path onward lies through the monsters of the sands, hoot hoot!"

"Hey, hold on!" Link called as the owl flapped its wings and flew away. "I still want to know more about... dammit." Slumping his shoulders, he sighed in resignation. "Should have known. I can never get a straight answer to anything. I'd better go see that fairy, and find some clean water too. Knowing Richard, he'd have a fit if I dripped gunk all over his house on the way up to his indoor bath thingy."

Once again, on cue, it began to rain.

* * *

Of the Lords and Ladies present, only Greeper was not smirking unpleasantly as Sliyes stomped into the meeting chamber. Even Angish was following the examples of Morm, Sleel and Gie, although in his case it was probably just imitating them. The little Lord fumed silently as he pulled himself into his chair and glared, waiting for the obvious.

"It appears that frying ants with a lens is more difficult than one would imagine." Morm said smugly. "Perhaps one should have chosen his words more carefully. Wouldn't you agree, sweet sister?"

"Oh, indeed." Sleel chuckled. "Especially ones deriding his own family. You're lucky that Gie isn't taking what you said personally."

"I knew he'd go down." Gie replied, leaning over to slap Sliyes on the shoulder. "Cheer up, huh, gloomy? So you got your ass kicked by a human! Look on the bright side; it probably won't be the last time!" She paused, then glanced over. "Angish?"

"Ha. Ha." The hulking Lord said after a moment. "Sliyes lost. That's funny." Nobody spoke after that for several moments, until the silence became uncomfortable.

"Well?" Greeper said eventually. "Do you have anything to say for yourself, Sliyes?"

"Sure." Finally lifting his eyes, Sliyes stared back at the eldest Lord. "He knows about the Wind Fish, and he's planning to wake it up."

More silence followed this announcement, which then became absolute chaos.

"You're lying, you little shit!" Morm yelled. Sleel echoed the sentiment in more vile terminology, while Gie whimpered shrilly. Angish remained quiet, but his eyes were bulging from their sockets.

"The owl." Greeper snarled, slamming his fist into the table. "It's been waiting for somebody like him to arrive! And now there's some ridiculous bat-thing here as well, that's probably in league with it!"

"Are you _joking?_" Sleel asked incredulously. "There's _two_ of them now? What, is it his _girlfriend?_"

"Thank you for that mental image, Sleel." Sliyes said coldly. "As I was saying, much about the fool's success now stands explained. Who knows what else the feathered freak is aware of, and what he's told the goon?"

"If the owl knows about the Wind Fish, and is seeking its awakening, then he is clearly aware of what will follow that, and has no fear of it." Greeper mused. "I sought to keep him away from the hero, suspecting something like this, but I had no idea he was _this _dangerous, and he escaped my pet in the end." His eyes focused on Gie. "I can surmise that there is, at least, some good news, if you've returned to us, Gie. Has Fade finally decided to act?"

"He said he'd take a look." Gie confirmed. "He wasn't too happy about it at first, but when I said he was knocking on all our doors in order, he figured out that Link would be coming to see _him_ eventually no matter what he did."

"I thought he liked you best, out of us." Sleel said thoughtfully. "Didn't the fact that you'd been beaten so thoroughly irritate him?"

"Of course it did." Gie stuck her tongue out. "But he wanted to stay away because Link's buddies with Marin. It doesn't matter, anyways. He's moving."

"That's all we can hope for from Fade." Sliyes shook his head despairingly. "Perhaps we were hasty in ejecting Hoad."

"No. Hoad is almost as much a renegade as Fade is." Greeper said firmly. "He took actions he knew would cause this result with no concern for everything we have spent centuries building on this island. We are better for his absence."

"If nothing else, the chamber smells better." Morm drawled. "So, who is likely to be next on his list of targets?"

"If he continues to move outward from Mabe, either Sleel or Angish." Greeper replied after a moment. "We shall know soon enough. And once we do, we will be able plan our next attempt to remove this infestation from our paradise." He smiled unpleasantly. "Remember, that is still our advantage. Link will have to triumph five more times in a row in order to achieve his goals, but we only have to get lucky once."


	7. Chapter 6: Sleeping In The Sand

_**Chapter 6: Sleeping In The Sand**_

_Sleep my friend and you will see _

_The dream is my reality_

Living with Richard had its downsides. For all that Link inexplicably liked the man, he had to admit that it was somewhat frustrating-not so much having to do all the cooking and cleaning for both of them, but how Richard never even considered the possibility that any other arrangement could be expected. Finishing the dishes, Link dried his hands and went looking for the Prince as the sun steadily crept towards noon.

"Ah, there you are." Richard greeted him from his library; Link privately prayed to Farore that he would be on his way again before the man asked him to dust it. "Come, come, my friend. There are matters we need to discuss."

"I was thinking the same thing." Link agreed, walking over to his desk, where he had the island atlas out. "It's about time I got back to work."

"No rest for the heroic, eh? Well, that's fair enough." Richard turned back to the map. "Now then. You said Lord Sliyes accidentally dropped something about the Yarna desert, yes? Well, that's quite a ways away, I'm afraid. See, all the way down here, near Animal Village."

"Well, I'd have to go check that place out sooner or later anyways." Link shrugged. "Good to know where that is. It'll probably be my first stop; at a guess, one of them hid their key in there."

"Be wary, then." Richard advised him. "The desert is home to unusually strong monsters, ruled by a frightening, monstrous insect."

"I'll keep it in mind." Link promised. "Now then, I won't know _whose_ it is until I go, but what can you tell me about the remaining lairs? Marin knew where some of them were, but not others. And I'd rather avoid Sleel's and Fade's at the moment." The former was only because of his swimming ability, or lack thereof, but the latter was more serious; he didn't want to go in without knowing more about the eighth Lord.

"Well, I won't be able to help you with Lord Hoad, I'm afraid." Richard shook his head. "Lord Greeper, however, lives on the northeast tip of the island, as far up into the Tal Tal Heights you can go on that side. The Eagle's Tower is rather difficult to miss. As for Lord Angish... I can't be very specific, but I've heard he lives near the source of the river, up in the waterfalls of Tal Tal."

"Okay, that narrows that one down enough for me to be able to find it." Link glanced over the atlas. "Marin just knew it was on the river somewhere. Thanks, Richard. I'll be heading back off, then. Strike while they're still off guard, and all."

"Tell me the tales of your adventures again when you return this evening." Richard nodded, clapping him on the shoulder. "If the bridge across the river has been conveniently destroyed recently, there's a secret underground passage. Good luck."

The day was bright and sunny; the clouds had finally vanished, leaving the weather pleasant once more. The wind was still just as strong, but that wasn't enough to ruin Link's mood. Whistling cheerfully, he walked down the eastern road from Richard's, only killing those monsters that attacked him first. It was only when he reached the river that an unpleasant surprise awaited him. As Richard had guessed, the bridge was out, but it didn't look like deliberate sabotage; rather, the waters were blasting along like a horizontal waterfall, practically leaping out.

"Now that's weird." Link scratched his head, looking north. The land was fairly flat as far as he could see. "This can't be something that happens often, or else they wouldn't have put the bridge here." Shrugging, he looked around for the tunnel Richard had mentioned, and soon found it behind a tree; there were stairs leading down into the earth. Unfortunately, the natural effect of tunneling under a river was in place; the floor of the tunnel was waist deep in water, despite a drainage channel that presumably led out into the nearby bay.

"Guess there's no helping it." Grimacing, Link disrobed before wading across, holding his clothes above his head. At least it was nice out; once on the other side, he dried off quickly in the sun as he continued to the southeast. It was only a few minutes' walk to Animal Village from there. As Link had expected, it was fairly similar in design to Mabe, with the difference that instead of a human, he was greeted by the sight of a rabbit doing some gardening upon walking in. It used the tools quite well, considering its paws. "Morning."

"A visitor!" The rabbit jumped, dropping the spade. "Hi! Are you new here? You must be from Mabe!"

"Sort of." Link sidestepped that. "Nice to meet you. The name's Link." He held out his hand, which the rabbit took and shook.

"I'm Benjamin." He made a face. "Yes, go ahead and laugh. Benjamin, of the Bunny Brothers."

"I wasn't going to." Link said honestly; he'd never find rabbit jokes funny again, after his experience in the Dark World. "Anyways, I'm here to visit the Yarna Desert. Mind pointing out the directions?"

"Hoo boy." The rabbit sighed theatrically. "Well, you see... it's just that... well, maybe Chief Bear should explain it. Come on, let's go see him." Turning, he led the way to the largest house around, and Link followed without complaint.

"Rassum frassum." The bear inside the house, like the rabbit, was standing on his hind legs. More oddly, he was also wearing an apron bearing the epithet, "Do NOT kiss the cook," as well as a chef's hat. "Out of honey at a time like this? They'll make me eat my hat..." Grumbling, he turned to look at them as they entered. "What is it, Ben? Some new kid?"

"Guy named Link, chief." Benjamin explained. "Says he needs to go to the Yarna Desert."

"That's _chef_, not _chief!_" The bear roared. "Dammit, first this, now that! This is one of those days."

"Actually, I can help with that." Link said, deciding he would apologize to Tarin later. Taking the honeycomb out of his bag, he handed it over to the surprised-looking bear. "Here, take it. Looks like you need it more than I do."

"Hey, I can't just do that!" The bear blinked, accepting it anyways despite his words. "There's gotta be something I can... oh, here!" Reaching into a fruit bowl, he pulled out a bizarre, spiky specimen. "This here's called a pineapple. They're rare as heck, but tasty once you get 'em open! Here, take it! I insist!"

"I won't say no." Link took the fruit without argument. "Glad I could help."

"You really saved me from a pickle, kid." Chef Bear wiped his brow, then nodded at Benjamin. "You can get back to work, Ben. I'll take care of this." As the rabbit nodded and left, he motioned towards some chairs. "Go on, sit a spell, huh? Take a load off. Now then, what's this about the Yarna Desert?"

"Long story short, I need to get in there." Link sat down, already more at ease; despite appearances, the bear reminded him of Tarin for some reason. "I'd explain, but it's a long story, and might be dangerous too."

"I've heard the basics from Grandpa Ulrira already, actually." Chef Bear said, scratching his muzzle and looking at Link carefully. "Appreciate you not wanting to get the folks around here involved, though. Most of 'em are a bit dim, but good people. Don't need them drawing the eyes of the Lords and Ladies." He grimaced, glancing out the window. "Unfortunately, I'm afraid it's not gonna be that easy getting into the desert. There's only one way in, and it's a narrow cliff, down by the shore. Which, unfortunately, old Willis the walrus is taking one of his week-long naps on."

"That _is_ a problem." Link admitted. He wasn't going to attack an innocent talking animal just because it was in his way. "Let me guess. Heavy sleeper?"

"Understatement of the century, kiddo." Chef Bear rolled his eyes. "Once he nods off, almost _nothing's_ gonna get him up. About the only thing I've ever seen work was one of the times miss Marin came visiting us to sing. Had him dragging himself all the way over here to listen, and that's a pretty significant effort for that tub of goo, hehehe."

"Does she come here often, then?" Link guessed, not really surprised. "I knew she was social, but it _is_ a bit of a walk."

"About once a month." Chef Bear shrugged. "Of course, that was before the monsters started getting all worked up. I wouldn't want her to make the trip by herself now."

"Of course not." Link drummed his fingers on the table, thinking aloud. "But if I made the trip with her, she'd be fine. She'd have to agree to come, but I think she would. As long as we make it look like it's just a routine visit, the Lords and Ladies shouldn't come after her."

"Should work." Chef Bear grunted in agreement. "You're being careful to make sure they don't connect her with what you're doing, then?"

"Her or anybody else." Link said firmly. "I was staying with her and Tarin at first, but I moved on after a few days because of that. Prince Richard's putting me up for the moment, and I'll probably end up heading out of there pretty soon for the same reason."

"Well, hell. If it's only for a few days, I've got a guest room you can crash in once you've had enough of his highness." Chef Bear chuckled. "I snore real loud, though."

"I might just take you up on that." Link laughed a little as well. "Can't be worse than the uncle who brought me up. Right now, though, I'd better be going if I want to make it back to Mabe by sundown."

"See you back in a day or two, then." Chef Bear waved, rising back to his feet and returning to his kitchen.

Unfortunately, Link turned out to overestimate his own travel speed, and underestimate the passage of the sun across the sky. Several scuffles with pigmen, while not posing any actual danger, further stalled him. As a final step, he took the wrong path, and ended up going past "Hippo Rock" instead of Richard's villa. The landmark turned out to be a bizarre boulder shaped like the skull of the animal it was named for; Link was unamused by its strangeness, but grateful that at least it didn't start talking to him. He wouldn't have put that past Koholint by that time.

In the end, he ended up outside Mabe when the last of the day's light slipped below the horizon, and decided to camp out in the wild; it would be near midnight by the time he got back to Richard's if he went that way, and then he would just have to come back in the morning. Octorock roasted over a campfire was far from the tastiest food in the world, but combined some of what he had in his pack, it served as an adequate meal. He had a wineskin that Richard had insisted he take as a gift as well, and by the time his campfire was burning down to embers, he was in a fairly good mood, all things considered.

It was when he was searching for a safe place to sleep, without fear of being ambushed by monsters, that he saw the old building. It was on the very brink of the village limits; there was no actual wall around Mabe, just very thick trees that were possible to sneak through at some points. The building was a squat, square lump of stone, crudely fitted together from huge, man-sized bricks. By the looks of it, it was uninhabited, and had been so for some time.

"Hey, mister!" A voice by his side caused him to jump and almost draw his sword before he saw that it was only one of Mamahl and Papahl's quadruplets. "Whatcha doing lurking around here this late, huh?"

"Looking for a place to sleep." Link explained. He'd always gotten along well with kids, mainly because he refused to talk down to them. "I can't stay in the village, or else the Lords and Ladies might get angry at the people there." He grinned cheerfully. "Your turn. What're you doing out here now, huh?"

"Dodging bedtime." The boy rolled his eyes. "After all the time we've been on this island, we still have to go to sleep this early. It's not fair, so some nights we run for it when mom tells us to come in."

"Sounds like a good reason to still be up to me." Link gave him a thumbs-up. "I used to sneak back out whenever my uncle fell asleep before I did. Of course, that just meant he eventually started tying me to my bed, but I'm pretty sure that was just his way of teaching me how to slip knots." The boy laughed, and Link did too; he hadn't been lying about Uncle Al's likely intent. "Hey, you know anything about that building over there?"

"The Dream Shrine?" The kid glanced over warily. "It's a spooky place. The monsters all stay away from it, and nobody lives there either. The torches inside never go out, and there's a huge bed in there; some people tried sleeping in it on a dare, and they always said they had really weird dreams. Makes sense, considering the name, huh?"

"Sounds like it to me." Link agreed, nodding. "I think I'll try that myself. Beats sleeping in a tree, trust me. Especially if you roll over." He might a falling motion with his hand, and the boy laughed again. "Yeah, sure, funny. Until it happens to you and you land on an old rotting log or a passing badger."

"I won't!" The boy grinned cheekily. "I'm know better than to sleep in trees!" He suddenly froze and looked over his shoulder, as a lamplight began approaching. "Crud, it's mom! Good luck, mister!" He darted off, back towards Mabe, and the lamplight followed him.

As he'd said, there was a definitely eerie air about the Dream Shrine. It was perfectly square inside as well, with narrow walls and a low ceiling. The interior there showed no trace of the age that covered the exterior; the stone it was made from was pure, blank white, reflecting the light of the torches that indeed burned endlessly. The bed in the center of the shrine was huge indeed, big enough to easily fit two people on a wooden frame as pale as the stone.

Despite a fair amount of misgivings, Link had made up his mind. Disrobing, he climbed into the bed; it was surprisingly firm, which he liked more than the yielding softness he had expected. As soon as he had pulled the covers up, drowsiness overtook him, and despite the brightness of the torches, his eyes quickly shut.

* * *

Link's adventures, both in past and present lives, had taken him all over the world, often to places that most believed were only legends. Of all the places he had been, however, the only one he _never_ talked about, to _anybody_ except for Zelda, was the time he had been inside the moon. The fact that even the most incredible listener in the world would likely tell him he'd had enough to drink was actually the _least_ of the reasons. The entire incident with the Mask of Majora was one he would forget if he could, and the moon had been the worst of it.

His thoughts upon finding himself back there once more, after thousands of years, were logically not exactly pleasant. After a few minutes of cursing, he remembered the circumstances involved, and relaxed. Slightly. "Okay, so it's a dream. Doesn't feel like one... which probably just means it's a _magic_ dream. I suppose this is my own fault, really." Shaking his head disgustedly, Link began walking around, looking to see how much had changed.

The landscape itself was unaltered; endless, eerily still and quiet fields of grass and flowers, gently rolling off into the distance forever under an empty, featureless white sky. The only thing to break the monotony was a single huge tree, which Link gravitated towards. The eerie, masked children that had been running and playing here the last time were no longer present, but under the tree, he could see some other people sitting at a table that had been set up, drinking tea. The strangeness of it didn't even register-it was _the moon._ This was par for the course.

As he walked closer, he saw who the two men seated there were, and his teeth began to grind. _I hate magic dreams._ All the same, he kept walking, until he reached the table, where he saw two more chairs had been pulled out. Refusing to take one, he simply stood there, glaring at them both. "This is no longer funny."

"You say that as if it ever were." Ganondorf Dragmire, the Forger of Power, replied calmly, a study in insanity with the fine china teacup in his hands. The Gerudo King was humanoid again, his grim olive features and blazing orange hair unchanged by the centuries. The heavy black armor he wore made his inclusion in the setting all the more ludicrous; only in a dream could he avoid shattering the delicate wooden chair. Sipping his tea, he smiled at Link, clearly amused. "You have a sense of humor, I'll give you, but it hardly extends to this."

"He's always so boring like that." The Happy Mask Salesman confided in him. His pack of wares was lying on the ground by his side, and the man himself was just as unchanged; his simple purple clothes, at least, were not as out of place as Ganondorf's armor. With his neat brown hair and pale skin, he could be mistaken for a normal, if slightly odd person, until one saw his face. No matter how often Link met him, the man's tightly squinting eyes and permanent, unsettling grin still gave him the creeps. "I think he should lighten up some."

"That's less likely to happen than _me_ doing so." Ganondorf shook his head, still smirking. "And as I'm sure he can tell you, that's saying something."

"Are you two going to keep this up all day?" Link asked flatly. "Because if you are, I think I'd prefer to go dig a hole and sit in it until I wake up."

"Touchy, aren't we?" The Salesman laughed a little. "Oh, all right. We'll put the claws away. A shame our other guest couldn't stick around. He was much more fun."

"You thought so." Ganondorf muttered grumpily. "_You're_ not the one he escaped from." He glanced back to Link. "I'm guessing you're not going to be civilized enough to join us. This really isn't bad, you know."

"I'll pass on the tea." Link shook his head, but sat down across from Ganondorf. "I won't bother asking if this is real or just my mind playing tricks, either. You'd say you were real either way, so there's no way to tell."

"So sharp you'll cut yourself, aren't you?" The Salesman asked cheerfully. "Oh, wait. You already have. Several times, as I recall. You might want to be more careful about that, you know. This is very serious business, after all."

"Generally, when people are trying to kill me, yes, it is." Link agreed, rolling his eyes. "Do you have anything else equally obvious to point out?"

"Flippancy is one thing, but don't be a fool." Ganondorf suddenly growled, all traces of amusement vanishing from his face. "You're starting to let down your guard. The more people you meet here who you grow attached to, the harder it will be to do what you must in the end. Especially this girl. You _know_ what will happen if you see her again, and yet you still persist on doing so. At this rate, you won't _want_ to leave any more, very soon. You've already been warned about how that happens here. Don't forget it again."

"While I'm glad to see you cut the bullshit, I have to wonder about your altruism." Link leaned back. "Assuming for the moment that you _are_ real, the last time you claimed to try doing a good deed, it ended up being crap. Yeah, I figured that out, by the way. So why help me?"

"Simple." Ganondorf chuckled darkly. "You still have my Triforce of Courage. If you remain here, it will be much more troublesome to come and take it from you than if you're in the real world. Don't think I've forgotten about that, or given up. That Triforce is mine."

"Haven't we been over this already?" Link said contemptuously. "Power. Wisdom. Courage. You keep whichever one you value most. As long as all you care about is power, the other Triforces will refuse to accept you, no matter how many times you take them."

"Why do you think _I'm_ helping him?" The Salesman asked cheerily. "It's a bit of a slow process, of course, but then, we've got time, and he _does_ learn, if slowly."

"Bull." Link snapped, fighting to keep the sudden chill that ran down his spine off of his face. "Why would you do that? _How_ would you do that? He's _dead_, even if he's coming back eventually. That's ridiculous."

"_Why_ did I help you? _How_ did I help you?" The Happy Mask Salesman repeated mockingly, before suddenly leaning forward, hands on the table, his eyes opened in calm fury. "If you ever thought you knew, you're a fool. Did you honestly think I couldn't have taken Majora's mask back myself? My motivations and abilities are no business of yours, and never have been."

"Stop, both of you." Ganondorf rolled his eyes. "You won't gain anything by starting something here and now."

"Ah, of course. Forgive me." The Salesman sat back, eyes narrowed again. "My temper gets the better of me sometimes."

"_You're_ playing peacemaker?" Link muttered to Ganondorf, ignoring that.

"Everything's relative." Ganondorf shrugged. "Even _I _don't know this one's game."

"Not to be insulting-and I can't believe I'm saying that-but knowing things has always been a pretty distant second on your list of priorities." Link shrugged. "Are we done here, or was there anything else you brought me here for?"

"He thinks _we_ brought him here." The Salesman said, laughing a little again. "Now isn't that cute."

"But it's wrong." Ganondorf said, raising an eyebrow. "Go on. Give it to him. If he wakes up before you do, it'll be a pain in the ass."

"Yes, very good point." The Salesman placed something onto the table. It was a blue musical instrument, with an unusual shape that made it difficult to learn to play. Link's ocarina, lost in the shipwreck.

"Who gave this to you?" Link asked quietly, staring at it. "You said somebody else was here before I came. Was it one of the Lords and Ladies?"

"Maybe." The Salesman shrugged, shaking his head. "Maybe not. He asked me to give this to you, that's all we know. Or maybe it's not, and we're just saying that. Do you want it or not, hmm? You can let me keep it, if you'd like."

"No, thanks." Link snatched the ocarina up, half-expecting it to vanish. "I suppose that's one way to tell if this is real or not."

"Could be." Ganondorf grunted. "Or could not be."

"You're hanging out with this freak too much." Link told him bluntly. "Stop that."

"Joking. Relax." The Gerudo King smiled again. "Now get out of here. You've got work to do, and time's wasting."

"I don't need you to tell me that." Link replied as the sky above suddenly went dark, and his eyelids began to drift shut, leaving the moon behind.

* * *

Stirring slightly, Link fell out of bed, onto his face. Muttering curses, he clutched the side of the mattress and pulled himself back up, then stared at the ocarina, lying on the sheets next to where he'd been a moment before. A few moments later, he grunted and took the instrument, then walked out of the dream shrine, not bothering to make the bed. "It just can't ever be simple, can it. It's always got to be complicated."

"Yeah, pretty much." Another man's voice agreed loudly from behind him. "Just the way it goes sometimes. Heads up!"

Something was spinning towards Link's head; whirling, he cut it out of the air. Only after doing so did he see what it was; a bottle of wine, now smashed all over the ground, leaving a smear of red on his sword. Blinking, Link looked up towards the source of the voice, on the roof of the Dream Shrine, under the rising sun.

"You were supposed to _catch_ it, not _kill_ it." The man in white and black said reproachfully. Over his dark clothing, he wore a pale coat, wide-collared and long-sleeved, reaching down to his ankles. He was fairly handsome in a nondescript sort of way, with short, spiked black hair and smoked glasses like Handy and Neosquid favored. "The idea was for us to have a drink and try to get along. For Marin's sake, if nothing else. Good thing I brought extra." He snapped his fingers, and a strangely well-dressed moblin joined him, bearing another bottle on a platter.

"You would be the eighth, then." Link guessed, watching him uncork the bottle and take a hit from it crudely. "Lord Fade. I'd like to say it's nice to meet you, but I don't think I can with a straight face."

"Hey, that's pretty harsh." The Lord objected, wiping at the mouth of the bottle and sitting down, his feet dangling off the roof of the Dream Shrine. "If I give you this one, will you break it too?"

"It's a little early for me." Link shook his head. "Plus, I prefer not to drink with people I might have to kill."

"Wow, you're jumping to conclusions awfully fast." Fade sighed theatrically. "Look, I really hate fighting, okay? So if it's all the same to you, I'd prefer to keep this cool. Let's be fair, huh? I've been staying out of your way so far, haven't I?"

"So far." Link admitted. "Could be you're just lazy."

"You've been talking to the others too much." Fade said disgustedly. "Just between you and me, they're kind of assholes, you know? Except for Gie. She's not perfect, but she's not as bad as the rest of them, you know?"

"And yet you're not upset about how I beat the tar out of her?" Link asked, raising an eyebrow. "Bit odd."

"You're really reaching." Fade told him bluntly, then scowled. "Yeah, okay. Maybe a little. But the way I hear it, she started it. Gie's a big girl; she doesn't need me to clean up her messes for her. Kinda wish she'd stop hanging out with the rest, but hey, her call." Taking another swig of wine, he looked down at Link over the tops of his glasses. "Enough about girls. Let's talk turkey, hero. Just what the hell do you think you're doing, huh?"

"You want the long version, or the short one?" Link replied, beginning to feel amused despite himself. "I want out. I've got things to do outside of this island, and if I don't do them, 'disaster' is probably a mild way of putting it. Your colleagues, unfortunately, don't seem too keen on helping me with that."

"That's because they _can't_, dummy." Fade shifted his position as he talked, so that he was lying on his back, head hanging backwards off the roof. "Yeah, yeah, I'm a bad guy, so you figure I'm full of it, right? Whatever. Keep on fighting them all you want. It's not going to get you anywhere. Just gonna piss them off more and more, and the way I hear it, that's been happening plenty as is."

"Good thing I've got a lead on something, then." Link leaned against a tree. "Your buddies haven't been keeping you in the loop, Fade. They all know by now. I'm planning on waking up the Wind Fish, whether you like it or not."

"Well, well, well." Fade whistled, flipping over so that his face was right-side-up again and folding his arms under his chin. "Where'd you hear about that little secret, huh? Now _that's_ a different story altogether. Man oh man, I have no luck at all."

"Let me guess." Link sighed. "That changes things."

"Maybe." Fade lowered his smoked glasses, staring Link in the eye. "What if I told you that waking up the Wind Fish would kill everybody on this island?"

"Heh." Link stared back, a chill running down his spine once more. "How did you put it... you're full of it."

"Then I guess you were right. This _does_ change things." Fade stood back up, and beckoned the moblin over to him. "I tried, but if you're not going to give up on this stupidity, looks like I've got no choice. Man, Marin's going to _kill_ me for this one." With a sudden movement, he plunged his hand into the top of the moblin's skull. As the monster gruesomely died, spurting blood, Fade pulled an axe of bone out of his servant's head, hand covered in blood and worse.

"You know, I only said that to see what you'd do." Link said calmly. "I was considering asking you to explain. But now? You just killed your own servant, just to look cool. You really are as much of an asshole as the others after all. So much for that."

"I _told_ you I hate fighting." Fade protested, resting the axe across his shoulders; despite its weight, he hefted it in one hand easily. "My power comes from 'death' whether I like it or not... and believe me, I don't. But there's not much I can do about it now. Well, let's get this over with, then, shall we?" Flexing his knees, he jumped from the Dream Shrine, coming down on Link as he swung the axe down.

"Then you shouldn't be fighting." Link sidestepped, bringing up his shield as Fade swung horizontally upon landing. "Or if you have to, just get a different axe. You can't tell me nobody on this island knows how to make them." Continuing to block Fade's blows, he cut at the axe's haft, to no avail.

"This one's special, though." Fade replied, carefully circling Link and remaining out of his range as he battered at the shield. "But then, you've already figured that out."

"Elements. Weapons. Alternate forms. True forms. Human forms." Link rattled off, keeping him at bay while he thought furiously. "Are those all predetermined? The more I find out about you people, the more question marks come up as to what you are."

"I'd answer, but I get the feeling I've said too much already." Fade replied easily; he seemed to be relaxed despite his actions, rather than putting any effort into it. He didn't need to; the axe was huge, but he swung it easily in one hand, bashing away at Link's shield while staying away from his sword. "I've got a big mouth sometimes."

"It was worth a shot." Link shrugged. He was talking more than usual, even in a fight as low-key as this one, for a reason; he wanted to keep Fade from catching on to his plan, as he waited for the right moment. If he timed it wrong, the Lord's superhuman strength would cause it to backfire. At the moment, his shield was keeping the axe from carving into his body, but the heavy weapon was denting it severely. There was only so long it could hold up.

When Fade swung downwards from overhead, Link made his move, sidestepping instead of blocking. As the axe came down, he slammed his sword into the gap between the weapon's blade and its haft, in a precision-aimed whirling blade strike.

"Oh, what the-!" Fade yelled as his own momentum combined with the technique to disarm him, pulling the axe from his grip.

"You lose." Link said, turning, then grunted as the Lord punched him right between the eyes. As he went down, he swung at Fade's legs, even as his enemy scrambled for the fallen axe.

"Sorry. Wrong." Fade replied, turning and bringing the weapon down on Link's prone form. "See you."

At the last second, Link rolled aside, and the axe struck dirt, burying itself deep in the earth. Rising, Link cut through Fade's right arm; he'd meant to go for the torso, but the Lord had dodged quickly.

"Hey, better than I thought you'd be!" Fade complimented him, pulling the axe back out and retreating before swinging again. "Keep it up, and you might just pull it off, dummy!"

"'Might,' nothing. You're done for." Link smiled grimly. The stump of Fade's arm was still gushing darkness, and he was willing to bet that the Lord could bleed out just like a mortal. All he had to do was keep him away. Of course, Fade knew that as well, which meant it wasn't long before he did something reckless.

When it came, Link was prepared for it. Fade faked a swing, then moved in, sliding his hand up to shorten his grip before his real attack, aimed at Link's other hand. The axe locked with Link's sword, and Fade pulled, reversing the trick Link had used on him earlier. Link let it happen, charging the moment it did with his shoulder down. Aided by the pegasus boots, he rammed Fade in the gut, and as the Lord dropped, he took his shield in both hands, intentionally falling as well.

Putting his entire weight behind it, Link brought the shield's rim down on the Lord's neck. Fade's only remaining hand brought the axe up, and with one last mighty blow, tore it in half. Still, Link kept going with the piece remaining, twisted metal edge coming down. The Lord's neck snapped with a crack, and he twitched before dying, melting into darkness. His shadow rose and regarded Link for a moment before speaking. "All right, good fight. Guess you really are that good, after all."

"I _do_ do this for a living, you know." Link reminded him, rising. For some reason, he almost felt like he liked this one; there was something familiar about him. Instead of being aggressive, he leaned against a tree. "So, now what do we do? Please don't say another round."

"Nah, nah. I'm not _that_ worked up. Yet." Fade chuckled. "But if you keep this stupid shit up, you know it's going to come down to that in the end. I'm _not_ going to let you wake the Wind Fish, dummy. Don't believe me all you want, but if you do that, everybody'll die all the same. Don't make me do what I don't want to."

"You're going to tell me that you're only doing this out of self-preservation, all of you?" Link guessed, scoffing. "Don't make me laugh."

"Yeah, that _would_ be pretty funny." Fade agreed. "But no. Okay, I'll clarify-everybody _except_ us. Except the problem is, I actually care about my people. Especially Marin. Do yourself, me, and her a favor and retire. Because if you don't, one way or another, it's all going to end in tears." The last Lord flitted away across the trees, and then he was gone.

Feeling even more conflicted than before, Link turned away quietly, and walked towards Mabe under the morning sun.

* * *

Outside Marin and Tarin's house, Link took a moment to steel himself for seeing her again, then knocked. After a moment, Tarin opened the door, face still swollen with bee stings.

"If it's about the honey, you can keep it." He said, more grumpily than usual. "I've lost my taste for the stuff. Owww."

"Actually, I was wondering if Marin was in." Link replied after a moment. "There's something going on over in Animal Village I could use her help with."

"She's down by the shore. S'got a little cove on the east end she likes to go to." Tarin muttered. "Tell her s'fine if she wants to stay there a few days. She usually does, when she goes over there. Bit o' a walk an' all. Have a nice day." He shut the door with a resounding slam.

"Poor guy." Shaking his head, Link walked off, waving to Madame Meowmeow and Grandma Ulrira as he passed their houses on his way down to the shore. The octorocks were out, and a cranky monkey was throwing coconuts, but he shrugged it all off as he made his way east. A cliff seemed to end the sandy beach, but a little further on up, he found a gully next to an old, deserted shack that was in the process of deteriorating. Heading into the gully, he found the cove Tarin had spoken of. There, sitting on a driftwood log, was Marin, staring silently out at the tide.

"Who... Link." She turned her head, falling quiet again as soon as she saw him. Neither of them spoke for some time after that, until Link walked over.

"Mind if I sit down?"

"Not at all." She smiled, and he did as well, despite himself. Together, they looked out at the ocean, watching the seagulls fly around. After a while, Marin spoke again. "It's good to see you again. It's been a few days. Have you been keeping yourself safe?"

"No." Link said cheerfully, and she laughed.

"Very funny." She shoved him lightly. "All right, fine. Have you been _succeeding_ in anything that's unsafe?"

"I'm still here, aren't I?" Link joked again, then relented. "It hasn't been _too_ bad. I beat the slime out of Sliyes, and I'm working on another one."

"You don't waste time." She said, still smiling. "I'd ask if you were proud of pounding a small boy, but I don't think he really is."

"He's not." Link shook his head. "I'd tell you what he really looked like, but it's slightly disgusting."

"Please don't, then." She shook her head. "I brought breakfast out here. Have you had some, yet?"

"Can't say I have." Link glanced down at the basket. "I was wondering about that."

"I'm glad you found this place, then." Opening it up, she took out bread, cheese, bacon, and fried eggs, quickly putting together a pair of sandwiches. "I cooked this at home before coming out here. I heard you were staying at Richard's. Did he run out of food?"

"No, I camped out near Mabe. Long story." Link shrugged, accepting a sandwich. "Thanks. Just hope he's not too worried that I didn't come back."

"_I_ just hope he remembers who you are after so long away." Marin cracked, making him laugh. "Richard's a good man, but he's a bit... well."

"Stupid?" Link suggested.

"Well, it's not nice to come out and _say_ it like that." She pretended to scold him.

"Wandering swordsman." Link shrugged, taking a bite of his sandwich. "We're allowed to be rude occasionally. It's in the job description."

"Fair enough." Marin started in on her own breakfast, and they ate quietly until they were done. Sipping the bottle of milk she had brought as well, Marin stared out at the sea enviously. "What's it like, traveling from one land to another, all the time?"

"Overrated, honestly." Link said bluntly. "If you're doing it over land, finding a bed to sleep in happens less than half the time. It's mostly napping in trees, and then you have to keep an eye out for monsters, so you don't sleep very well." He saw her face fall, and quickly changed his tone. "There are good parts, though. It's nice to see different parts of the world. Sometimes you find really amazing things, like Zora's Waterfall back in Hyrule, or the Black Tower of Labrynna."

"It sounds like it would be a fun life." Marin said wistfully. "Always traveling, going from one place to another, never spending too much time staying still. Koholint is nice, but it gets old, once you've been everywhere. I think everybody feels the same way inside, but most of them won't say it. They're afraid to, I think, because of the Lords and Ladies. Maybe even more now that you're here and shaking them up."

"Gee, thanks." Link nudged her.

"I didn't mean it like that." She laughed again, then grew more pensive. "Just the opposite, really. When you washed up on shore... I don't know what it was, but somehow, I knew you were different from the others. I just had this strange thought, that you were going to change things forever on Koholint." She paused, then spoke again. "Link... do you think if you leave Koholint, I could come too? Me, and anybody else who wanted to? Maybe even Fade? Sometimes I think he would, if the others would let him."

_"What if I told you that waking up the Wind Fish would kill everybody on this island?" _

"Maybe you could, yeah." Link replied quietly, the last Lord's words still stuck in his mind. "I can't promise anything, but maybe."

"Maybe will do for now." Marin smiled. "Maybe is enough for me to have hope. Tarin thinks that it's impossible for anybody or anything to leave, and most of the people agree with him." Her eyes drifted upwards. "But the seagulls fly so far out, I think they have to be able to. They can get farther than anybody else has, so far they disappear. Sometimes, I used to imagine what it would be like to be a seagull. I'd pretend I was flying to all sorts of different places, and singing for everybody that I met there."

"A singing seagull, huh?" Link said dryly. "I imagine that would get people's attention."

"Very funny." She shoved him again. "Be glad I didn't think about the fish instead. They keep coming here from the ocean outside. You can't tell me you never pretended things like that when you were young."

"I used to pretend I was a knight of Hyrule." Link admitted. "Never ended up taking a knight's vows, but I suppose this is close enough. And I don't have to parade around in heavy armor all day, either."

"All in all, it looks like you came out ahead." Marin said. "I guess I wasn't really all that young, to be honest. That was with your uncle, right? You said he brought you up?"

"Yeah." Link closed his eyes; the memories no longer bothered him, somewhat surprisingly. "My parents had... an accident when I was young. Uncle Al quit the Knights of Hyrule to take care of me, after he had a fight with King Lucas-he used to be Commander. They eventually made up, after me and Princess Zelda were both mostly grown up."

"You're very close to her, aren't you?" Marin asked, dropping her smile. "Princess Zelda."

"Yeah." Link replied after a moment. "Pretty much."

"I've never really had somebody like that." She closed her eyes. "When I was younger, me, dad and Uncle Lingo were always traveling. And there aren't many people close to my own age here on Koholint. I guess the closest thing is Fade, and I don't really see him as often as I'd like, since he lives pretty far away from Koholint and doesn't like leaving his home often."

"An uncle?" Link asked, deliberately ignoring the mention of Fade. "He can't live in Mabe, or else you'd have introduced me. Did he..."

"No, he's on Koholint too." Marin shook her head. "Uncle Lingo and dad are always quarreling. They kept it somewhat friendly on the road, but when we had to stay in one place, it got worse, until Uncle Lingo built a house up in the Tal Tal Heights. I go visit him every so often too."

"Guess we both know a little more about each other now." Link looked out at the waves.

"Yeah. I like that." Marin did so as well. "It's kind of nice, knowing more about you. But you can't sit around here all day, can you?"

"Not really." Link admitted. "Actually, I kind of need your help with something. The walrus in Animal Village is sleeping in the only way to the Yarna Desert, and I need to get in there. Chef Bear suggested I get your help with that."

"Let me guess. Singing." Marin sighed theatrically, but smiled. "I'd suspect he was just trying to get me to visit, if it wasn't the only way I know of to get Willis up once he's out. It's been a while anyways. All right, let's go there. Let me just stop by the house to drop the basket off and pick up my bow and arrows, all right? I'm sure you can fend off any monsters by yourself, but I'd prefer being on the safe side."

"Sounds like a plan." Link agreed. "Shall we then, my lady?"

"Oh, by all means, sir knight." Marin played along, offering him her arm. After a moment of hesitation, he took it, and they began walking back up, Link's mind even more of a whirlwind than before.

* * *

As Marin had claimed back at the beginning of his stay, she was actually an excellent shot, though Link wasn't truly surprised. She let him deal with the enemies that remained on land, but used her arrows on the flying octorocks as well as on zirros, winged carnivorous mushrooms that dropped explosive spores from overhead. Link had always found them particularly annoying to nail, so her marksmanship got more than a few compliments from him as they made their way down the southeastern path.

Richard was busy, apparently, as he wasn't out on the porch of his villa when they passed by. They debated going in to see him, but decided to just keep walking, until they reached the river and the underground passageway. It was only when Link got there and saw Marin smirking that he remembered it was submerged. "Um. Guess we do this one at a time."

"I should certainly hope so." She raised an eyebrow. "I think you'd better go first, so I can make sure you don't peek."

"Deliberate sexism." Link snorted, going down. "I think I'll swim backwards, then, so _I _can keep an eye out up those stairs."

"Oh, fine. Be paranoid." Marin rolled her eyes theatrically. Link did as he'd said, then climbed up the other side and looked across the river at her. "All right, your turn. Go right ahead. I'll stay here until you're up."

"You'd better." Marin said, heading down. A few minutes later, she came up the other side, wet but clothed again. "Huh, you really didn't even try. I'm not sure whether to be impressed or disappointed."

"Let's just go." Link growled, and she giggled.

"Oh, all right."

As soon as they entered Animal Village, everybody within eyesight began shouting greetings, which Marin returned. Link, for his part, did his best to act like part of the background as they headed south, Marin promising to come back as soon as they were done. Only once they were out of the village and on their way to the Desert did Link comment. "Seems you're pretty popular around these parts."

"Oh, hush." Marin blushed. "They're just suckers for a good song, is all. I'd be tempted to make you do a duet with me as payment for helping you, but I'm guessing you might drive them all off if I did."

"Thanks." Link rolled his eyes. "For your information, I may not be able to sing, but I play this very well." He took out his ocarina.

"In that case, I think I _will_ ask that, then." Marin decided smugly. "You can pick up the Ballad of the Wind Fish in no time, if you _are_ that good. It's a much simpler melody than most people would think."

"I suppose I walked right into that one." Link admitted as they reached the sleeping walrus. "All right, smart girl. Give me an example."

"Well, all right. Since you asked so nicely." Clearing her throat, Marin began to sing. As he had before, Link just leaned back and listened, enjoying the beauty of what he heard.

Willis the walrus, on the other hand, apparently believed in a less restrained reaction. As soon as she began to sing, he twitched once, then again. His eyelids popped open, and his whiskery snout formed a smile as he began hopping up and down. "Marin, Marin, Marin! When did you-uh... oooooh!" Overbalancing on the narrow ledge, he tipped over on his side and plunged into the ocean.

"Oh, man." Link had to laugh, and even Marin was having trouble keeping herself from doing the same while she finished the song. "Is he gonna be okay?"

"Hahahaha... he's done it before." She shook her head, laughing freely now that she was done singing. "Usually when he wakes up by himself-that's his favorite nap spot. Never stops getting me, though! Haha, come on, let's go on in. He'll be back in Animal Village by the time we're done here. That reminds me, you never told me just what you needed in here."

"Oh." Link stalled; he hadn't counted on Marin wanting to come into the Yarna Desert with him. "I hear that one of the Lords or Sleel has the key to their home stashed in here. Need that to get inside, whoever it is."

"All right, that's fair enough." Marin notched an arrow to her bow. "Just keep your eyes open. There are some pretty nasty monsters in here." The Yarna desert was a chasm filled with sand, with cliffs rising on both sides. To the south, it dropped off into the ocean, while the north end petered down into what looked like a whirlpool of sand. Cacti and skulls dotted the expanse as Link and Marin headed north, eliminating burrowing leevers as they went. "These aren't too bad, but the pokeys are another story."

"Aw, geez. Pokeys?" Link groaned, as one of the monsters began to move. "I should have known." Hailing from Koopa Island like Bowwow, they were strange creatures made of several spheres of cactus, piled on top of each other into a tower. One needed to chop them down first to reach the head, but doing so would cause them to launch dead segments as projectiles. Of course, Marin's bow solved that problem; Link simply kept them away from her and let her do the killing as they moved on towards the whirlpool. "So it's just them and the leevers?"

"No, there's something else far worse." Marin shook her head as they reached the sand whirlpool and a rumbling began to shake the earth. "They probably set it to guard the key. Look out, here it comes!"

"Whoa!" Link yelled, jumping backwards as a furious face emerged from the whirlpool's center, charging him. The spherical head of an insect, narrow eyes and pincher mouth on a glossy black shell, at the end of a long worm's body ending in a stinger. It emerged from the sand like a fish out of water, and that was enough to make the connection. Like Morm's true form and Angish's secondary, it was similar but not identical to the real thing. "A lanmola!"

"Annoyance!" The beast snarled as he jumped aside, diving back into the sand. "You are only obstructing things!"

"It talks?" Marin gasped, shocked. "It's never done that before!"

"Oh, really." Link readied his sword, taking a tentative step onto the whirlpool. The sand held, and so he stepped on, allowing it to carry him around. "Well then. One of the Lords or Ladies is probably possessing it. They can do that. Hey, skippy! Come out and play!"

Roaring wordlessly now, the lanmola reared up behind him, lunging at his back. As soon as Link heard the sand being displaced, he dropped and rolled to the side, and it missed. More importantly, it left its head wide open, the only place on a lanmola's body where the carapace was thin enough for his sword to do damage. He got a couple of good hacks in before it submerged once more, then stepped back; the whirlpool was bringing him closer to the center, and that was no good. When it emerged, he dodged again, then sliced it further.

"Wow." Marin watched, wide-eyed, as he continued to avoid every strike it made. "You _are_ good at this."

"This one's a bit unfair." Link admitted, continuing to dodge and strike. "I've fought these before. Specifically, I had to fight _three_ of these at once, when I was seventeen. Now, _that_ really sucked, but I pulled it off. Only one's not much challenge now. Especially since it's not even spitting rocks like they did." That probably had to do with the modifications made to the face, specifically the shape of the mouth. Whatever the reasons were, Link wasn't complaining about an easy fight for once; already, the beast was nearly dead. A few more good hits would do it.

"So I see." Marin murmured, staying away from it herself. Unfortunately, it seemed that she was not quite far enough. The beast shot up before her, catching both her and Link by surprise. Instantly, she had an arrow in the air, but the lanmola was moving too fast, and the projectile glanced off of its carapace.

"Dammit dammit dammit!" Link swore, whirling around too late. Spurred by panic, he did the only thing he could, something his uncle had promised would result in his _eating_ his shield if he was ever caught at it by the old man. He threw his sword, straight into the wound he had been making. It didn't lodge, only bouncing off, but that was still enough to make the lanmola roar once more, rearing back involuntarily. An arrow sprouted from the open mouth a moment later; wide and motionless, the target had been perfect for Marin. Collapsing, it thrashed a few times, and was still.

"Wow." Marin sat down, shaking slightly. "That... that was close."

"_Way_ too close." Link agreed, rushing over and regaining his sword, then chopping a few more times to make sure. "But hey. Pretty sure that counts as your kill."

"Oh, lovely." Marin laughed, only semi-hysterically, taking deep breaths. "Right. Okay, I'm good now. So-_ah!_" She jumped back again as a Lord's shadow began emerging from the dead lanmola. "Oh. Yes. Possession, you said."

"Yeah. They can do that." Link watched it run off without a word, as soon as it was out, and swore mentally. It had been too quick to tell for sure, but it had looked like Greeper. "All right, now I just have to find that key."

"I'm... just going to go back to Animal Village, if that's okay." Marin decided, shakily getting back to her feet. "You'll come back too, right?" She forced a smile. "You still owe me that duet, after all."

"Be along as soon as I find the key." Link promised. "Can't stay for too long-I don't want to make Richard worry _too_ much-but I'll have time for that."

"See you there, then." Marin turned away, then paused. "Thanks, Link. This was... kind of fun, actually."

There wasn't much Link could say to that, so he simply watched her go, then began examining the area. Before long, he found a small cave; inside, on an altar of stone, was a key with a leaping fish on its hilt. Taking it, he examined it for a moment, then slipped it into his pocket. Turning, he followed Marin's path, past the dead lanmola and out of the Yarna Desert.

On an outcropping of rock overhead, the owl watched him go, and said nothing.

* * *

"Hmph. A poor showing today." Morm sniffed disdainfully. Only half of the seats at the meeting table were filled. In addition to Fade and Hoad, neither Greeper nor Gie had come that day. "I can make a few assumptions as to why Gie has failed to grace us with her presence upon this occasion, but Greeper? That's more than slightly odd."

"Greeper said he was busy working on some scheme of his." Sliyes explained carelessly, not looking up from a book he was reading. "He didn't see fit to explain the details. You know how Greeper is."

"We all know how Greeper is." Sleel stretched her arms. "He never changes. Not that any of us do. Do we really have to do this? It's not going to be much of a conversation, with just the three of us. Angish doesn't count."

"I can count." Angish protested. "One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Uh... five and one. Five and two."

"Stop." Morm covered his face. "Just... stop. I _do_ apologize, sweet sister, but Greeper _will_ give us hell if he finds out that we slacked off the moment he was absent. Let's just get this over with as soon as possible, then. What will be the fool's next move?"

"Well, the two of us are out, of course." Sliyes made a face. "Luck, but there we are. I doubt he'll be going for Hoad or Greeper; they're the most difficult to reach. And as much as I'm sure we'd all prefer he went for Fade next, our own luck has been noticeably lacking as of late. Which leaves either Sleel or Angish."

"If I didn't know better, I'd say he was deliberately avoiding me." Sleel pouted theatrically. "My front door's wide open, and has been for days now. He knows where I live, I'm sure."

"Setting aside the fact that most men find it rather off-putting when you try to _eat _them..." Sliyes rolled his eyes. "I'm fairly sure by this point that he can't swim without those flippers Angish took. He's been avoiding setting foot in any body of water like the plague."

"Oh, damn." Sleel made a face, then paused. "So that means if he gets the flippers back, he will?"

"That is the logical conclusion, sweet sister." Morm drawled. "Of course, before he does that, it looks like he'll have to get past Angish. And even considering his run of luck, _that_ will be easier said than done."

"He's coming?" Angish replied after a moment. "The Link? He's coming to my home soon, right?"

"That's correct, Angish." Morm smiled. "Good boy. Somebody give him a biscuit. I suppose you're going to want to go play with him once more, sweet sister?"

"Oh, no you don't." Sliyes slammed his book shut. "I said I wasn't going to let this go just because I lost in my own home, and I meant it. You two got to be the intermission last time. Now it's my turn, and I'm going to finish this once and for all."

"If he comes." Angish continued, surprising them all. "To me. That means I can do whatever I want, right?"

"Should he shame Sliyes once more and make it all the way to your chambers, then you may consider the leash off, Angish." Morm said lightly. "You may kill him however you like, so long as you succeed."

"Okay." Angish brushed the hair out of his eyes, and even the other three paled slightly at the emptiness in his gaze, just like they always did whenever that happened. "I'll take care of him, then, The Link's been doing bad things. He's hurting everybody. I don't like that, so I'll take care of him. That's what happens to bad boys. Monsters come get them. And we're the monsters. The Link doesn't get that yet. Not really. So I'll show him. And I'll get him. And I'll kill him."

"Well, at least you seem to know what you're doing, for once." Sliyes muttered, but it was half-hearted. Angish was smiling, and his smile was a terrible thing to behold, even for the Lords and Ladies.


	8. Chapter 7: Fishing For Trouble

_**Chapter 7: Fishing For Trouble**_

_No locked doors no windows barred _

_No things to make my brain seem scarred_

"Is something ailing you, _mon ami_?" Richard asked over the crepes he'd prepared for breakfast. "You seem somewhat disconsolate this morning. I know it can't be my cooking, or my hospitality, so what is it?"

"I'm just trying to figure out what to do next and not coming up with much." Link explained, chewing grumpily. "I've got this key with a fish on it-told you about that adventure over drinks last night. Problem is, I don't know whose place it goes to. I'd prefer it to be Angish, but the problem with that is, I only have a vague idea of where his _is_. Greeper and Hoad would both be a pain in the ass to get to, I'll need my flippers back before I can swim out to Sleel, and Fade... well, I'd rather avoid him for now, for several reasons."

"I see." Richard murmured, eyes once again sharper than one would expect. "Fade is Marin's patron, as I recall. I can see why that situation... yes, best to avoid that as long as possible." He clapped his hands together. "Well then, I have a rather brilliant idea, if I do say so myself. Call up old man Ulrira on the telephone after you've finished the dishes! If there's anything about this island he _doesn't_ know, his wife will!"

"You know, I think you're on to something there." Link said, managing not to slip in an 'actually' through force of will. "I'll do that, then."

"Good." Richard nodded approvingly. "Just be careful. I'm aware of your spectacularly unlikely success rate against the Lords and Ladies up until this point, but even by their standards, Angish is one of the most dangerous of the lot. Him, Greeper, and Hoad, and the other two are at least capable of logical thought. Angish... just don't let your guard down, or he might literally try to rip your throat out with his teeth."

"That's kind of the impression I get from that guy as well." Link agreed, grimacing. "On the plus side, he's dumber than a moblin with a brain injury."

"A good point." Richard admitted with a chuckle, finishing his meal. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I must go do my gardening. Try not to be out _too_ late again, hm? I almost lost sleep worrying that something terrible had befallen you!" Humming, he went out through the back.

"Almost, huh." Link smiled, rising to take care of the dishes. Once that was done, he did as Richard had suggested, calling Ulrira up on the phone in the villa.

"Well?" The old man asked as soon as he'd picked up. "Heard all about it already. Whose is it, then?"

"I'm not sure, but I'm guessing Angish." Link replied; he was used to the old man's abrupt way of talking by now. "Or maybe 'hoping' is the better word. Problem is, I'm having some trouble finding where he lives."

"Just about nobody knows where the big fella sets up shop, yup." Ulrira agreed. "Good thing you called me, then! Well, you know how most of 'em have those three statues out front o' their places? Far as I know, they match up with the keys. What's on the one you've got?"

"Looks like a fish."

"Fish, eh? Head east from the Goponga Swamp, and you'll find the waterfalls comin' out of the Tal Tal Heights turnin' into the river. There's three o' those statues around there, with-you guessed it-fish on 'em! Now then, where's miss Marin, hm? Tarin said you were lookin' for her, an' no one's seen her since."

"She's visiting Animal Village." Link explained. "She'll probably be back in a few days-I'll take her to keep monsters off of her."

"Sounds good! I'll tell everybody. Try not to die, now!" Ulrira hung up.

"Well, that works." Picking his sword and new shield up from where it hung by the door, Link headed off. Animal Village had been able to provide him with one after he'd lost his last to Fade's axe, fortunately; he wouldn't have felt right without one. Waving to Richard as he passed the garden by, he headed northwest.

The fastest way to his destination lay through the graveyard, near Syrup's home; while he was there, Link stopped by and bought a refill on his magic powder. From the swamp, the path east forked, one way heading up into the Tal Tal Heights, the other down into the riverlands. Link chose the latter first, and was soon fighting off stalking, arachnid red tektites. The beasts tended to gather in mountains, so it was no surprise to find them near the cliffs, where waterfalls by the plenty poured down into the beginning of the river.

Separated by its westward path from a sheer rock face, Link kept following the river until he found the statues Ulrira had spoken of, naming the home of the Lord as the Angler's Tunnel. As soon as he had turned the key, there was a great shaking, like an earthquake. No earth split, however, and no rocks fell. Instead, the closest waterfall began to die down, receding to a trickle, and then to nothing. Exposed behind it was the carved head of a fish, its mouth a cavern with steps leading in. There was a bare rock shelf below it, but even with his boots and feather, Link knew he would be unable to hurdle the river.

"Looks like I'm going to have to take the painful way." Muttering to himself, he backtracked, and took the fork that led into Tal Tal this time. As he began to make his way east, however, he suddenly remembered something, just as he passed a signboard saying, "Mt. Tamaranch." Looking north, he saw that he was passing by what he had thought of.

Easily the tallest peak on the island, Mount Tamaranch was nearly perfectly pyramidal. A carefully created stone stairway led straight up, all the way to the peak, which had been taken off and hollowed out, to hold the Wind Fish's egg. It was even larger than Link had thought it would be, enough to hold an entire house, if not two. White with purple spots, it loomed silent and unmoving over Koholint Island. As Link approached it, he saw that he was not alone. The owl was perched on the stairs before the egg, watching him approach.

"Hoooot! The Wind Fish sleeps, perchance to dream, in the egg above." The owl greeted him. "But what dreams may come in that sleep of eternity? All that we can know is that as long as he sleeps, and so dreams, the path away from this island is barred to us all."

"Yeah, I know." Link shifted uncomfortably. "So if I wake the Wind Fish... other people can leave here, too? If they want to? Not just me, right?"

"All shall leave. All shall _have_ to." The owl admitted. "Such is the way of dealing with absolutes, lad. When the Wind Fish wakes, the captivity of all under the Children of Nightmares will be released. But fear not; no lives shall be ended that were not already."

"You heard, didn't you?" Link guessed shrewdly. "Me and Fade."

"The Children of Nightmares are not to be trusted." The owl urged him. "They seek only to maintain their dominion. I seek only to shatter it. The key you hold bears a fish, swimming up a cascade of water. You have already solved that riddle. Waste no time, and finish that task! Five more instruments still await you, hoo hoo!" Spreading his wings, he flew off.

"Hrm." Link bit his lip, watching him soar off through the clouds. "Everything he says checks out, but... somehow, I get the feeling something's up." Looking down over Tal Tal Heights, he blinked. A little to the east, on a shelf of rock next to a cavern mouth, was a familiar man, waving and shouting. "Hey, Papahl! Papahl, hold on! I'll be right down!"

The mountaineer fell silent as soon as Link had seen him, and remained so. As Link drew closet, he saw why; Papahl had clearly seen better days. He looked emaciated and exhausted; it seemed to be the most he could do to wave and shout. He waited, watching patiently, as Link approached, then looked up at the shelf, clearly unable to climb. Only then did he point at a nearby cave without another word.

"Gotcha." Link nodded. "Be right up." The cave was swarming with keese and zols, but even in numbers that large, neither was a threat. When he emerged from the other end, he was on Papahl's ledge. "What happened to you, buddy?"

"Got lost." Papahl whispered. "Out of food. Forgot to pack enough. Starving. Help?"

"Of course." Grinning, Link pulled the pineapple Chef Bear had given him out of his pack. "This should be just what you need." Carving it open, he handed the pieces to Papahl, who began digging in greedily.

"Yahoo!" Once half the fruit had been downed, he paused, already looking better. "This is delicious! I owe you my life!" Relaxing, he began eating the rest at a more leisurely pace. "So, how are things going back at Mabe? Still staying with Marin and Tarin?"

"Not at the moment." Link thought quickly, remembering that Papahl had left Mabe before he'd started fighting the Lords and Ladies. "I'm kind of moving around a lot now. Exploring all over the island. You know how it goes."

"Indeed I do!" Papahl concurred, finishing off the pineapple. "Aaah, and with perfect timing to save my skin! Hm... this isn't exactly an ideal reward, but it's all I've got." He produced a flower in a bottle from his own bag, stem in water to keep it fresh. "I meant to give this to Mamahl, but you can do so with Marin, yes? It's a hibiscus-women love them!"

"Well, I won't say no." Link chuckled, accepting the jar, despite the fact that he knew that doing so would be a disaster. "If you come out of that cave, just keep going due west, and you'll be in Goponga Swamp. I trust you can find your way back to Mabe from there?"

"Of course! Want to explore some more, hm?" Papahl stood up. "Well, can't say I blame you! Just don't do as I did, haha!" Waving, he clambered down the ledge easily and set off, whistling to himself.

"Huh." Blinking, Link shrugged and headed back down to the path. Soon, he found a place where still water was lying in small pools of damp earth, under a dripping hole in the cliffs above. Looking down, he saw the top of the entrance to the Angler's Tunnel. Grimacing, he carefully lowered himself down the edge until he was dangling by his hands over the carved fish, then let go. Bouncing unceremoniously off, he rolled onto the rock shelf. "Ow... I hope none of those jackasses were watching that." Dusting himself off, he walked inside.

Unsurprisingly, even the first room of the Angler's Tunnel was half-flooded. The style was surprisingly well-carved, with grand pillars, murals on the walls, and large statues all lying around. The amount of water, however, had done its damage to everything it touched; some of the statues were even lying on their sides, broken, without anybody apparently caring. What caught Link's eye, however, was a pile of treasure chests tossed carelessly into one corner.

"Guess this guy doesn't really care about playing games with this stuff." Link muttered, then blinked. There was a wooden sign set in the floor; it read "ENTRANCE" in crude, blocky letters. After a moment, he shrugged and started rummaging through the pile. "A key... piece of the stone slab... another key... and the map." Opening the last, he scanned it critically. "Shaped like the head of a trident this time, huh? Well, if I'm right about what he is, that's two who don't make their homes into self-portraits. Points for that."

When two spined turtles charged suddenly, he was surprised, but recovered quickly. Raising his shield barely in time to avoid being run down, he flipped them onto their backs and disposed of them with a few quick stabs. The following pair were dealt with similarly, and only when no more seemed forthcoming did he continue onward.

Beyond the first room, much of the Angler's Tunnel seemed to be one huge, wide-open hall filled with water. Blue lake tektites, an evolutionary variant of the mountain-dwellers, flitted around on the surface of the water, which in most places looked deep enough to drown Link without his flippers. There was, however, a bridge of raised land that led to a side door, to the right. Said door was locked, but Link already had a key; more problematic was the fact that the last few feet of the bridge were out, having broken and fallen into the deep water below.

"Good thing I hit Sliyes before coming here." Link muttered to himself, combining his boots and feather to hurdle the gap. "Shame I didn't get whoever has my hookshot-that would have made this a snap-but at least I can manage." The room beyond was nearly as flooded, but the dry path led straight through. It was swarming with tektites as well, but Link carved them up easily, and did the the same in the next room, which was similar with one exception. There was a staircase on the dry part, leading down into an underground pool of water. In torchlight, Link could almost make out the shape of something at the bottom.

"Okay, if this guy has either my hookshot or my flippers, I can come back here later and get... whatever that is." Link muttered to himself, returning to the main floor and continuing on. "Otherwise, I'm probably out of luck. And whatever's down there, I'm guessing I'll need it to get to Angish. Come on, Farore, keep my streak going." A few more rooms filled with tektites, turtles and peahats-carnivorous flowers that actually flew through the air using their own madly spinning petals for propulsion-later, Link returned to the flooded main hall further north on the east side.

The edge of the room was now shallow enough for him to walk through, but it was slow going. Link didn't trust Angish any further than he could throw him, and stepped carefully, constantly testing the water before him for pitfalls. Several times, he found them, and jumped over with the roc's feather; carelessly charging through would have gotten him most likely drowned. Making his way around the corner and moving onward along the north side as well, he fought off more crowds of monsters, taking only light wounds. "One track-mind, this guy."

Eventually, the path ended at another locked door, with the stone slab of the day next to it. Inserting the missing piece, Link read it. "'The glint of the tile shall be your guide,' huh? Hope that makes more sense in context..." Shaking his head, he opened the door. The room beyond was larger than most, though not as spacious as the main hall; it looked to be a rectangular loop, with a series of pillars too close to slip between taking up the center. Link only noted this in passing, however; his eyes were drawn to who was waiting for him.

"Did you miss me?" Sliyes asked, sitting in a wireframe chair and tinkering with some mechanical device. His feet dangled over the water that filled the room to knee height. "I won't insult your intelligence by asking if you'd thought I wouldn't be back. You have to have at least figured that out from the examples of the others."

"Fifty-fifty." Link shrugged, keeping his sword drawn. "Haven't see Gie much lately. Hope you're not expecting any compliments in return."

"Hardly." Sliyes snorted. "Whatever else you may be, you're a professional, I suppose. We're the exact opposite of friends. Pretending to get along would be more than ridiculous; it would be a bad joke. On that note, let's get down to business, shall we?"

"Wait." Link raised a hand. "One question, first. What's up with that?" He pointed at the crude sign in the corner of the room that said "SLIYES."

"Angish has issues." Sliyes rolled his eyes. "Unfortunately, this is his domain, so I have to abide by his stupidities. He even wanted me to build some sort of puzzle for you near his rooms. Not that you'll be getting that far. This is it for you, annoyance!" Slipping the device up his sleeve, he clapped his hands together, then drew them apart, lightning crackling between his fingers. It spread up his arms, bringing a bright white glow that became painfully blinding in less than a second.

"Dirty damn trick!" Reeling, Link held his arm over his eyes, but even so, they throbbed with pain for several seconds. When they began to clear, he looked up as the little Lord charged, transformed into some kind of gigantic insect. Nearly all of the bug's tree-sized body was a huge red sphere that ejected water from a tiny hole in the upper back, propelling it around at massive speeds. The rest of it was on the lower front; sharp claws and a large-eyed face with a gaping mouth that sucked in more water as it moved.

The beast was huge enough to take up the entire span between the wall and the pillars; Link had nowhere to go, and was run down as it charged over him. Fortunately, rather than crushing him underneath, its propulsion simply slammed him forward, bouncing off of the wall ahead of it.

"Shit, shit, shit..." Groaning, Link rolled away. As the big bug reached the corner of the room, it slammed into the wall, coming to a halt. By the time it began to turn, Link was already acting, stabbing the water sac. "Oh, no you don't!"

"Gah!" Sliyes screamed as more pressurized water burst from the wound. Spinning out of control, around in a circle, he snarled, "One for one. Try it again!" The wound closed after a few seconds, and he shot off again, in the opposite direction.

"Gladly." Link was at the narrow end of the room; he simply stepped around to the other side of the central pillars, waited for Sliyes to turn the corner, and stabbed him on the other side. Once more, the big bug spun crazily before righting itself and shooting off. "I'll give you points for creative biology, but as long as I can see you coming, you're not really a threat."

"Oh, really?" Sliyes replied scornfully, approaching once more. "What if I do _this_, then?" As he approached Link, he slowed down and ground to a halt without hitting the wall. As he did, he was already turning, legs underneath him scrabbling, to face the other way. Before Link could attack, he moved again, high-pressure water slamming Link in the face.

"Blrlgh!" Sputtering, Link fell on his rear in the water. Before he could rise, Sliyes charged from the other side and ran him down again.

"Got you!" Sliyes crowed. "Give it up, already! Hand over your sword, beg for forgiveness, and I'll let you leave before Angish gets you. Trust me, you _don't_ want to see what that guy does to people he doesn't like. It's what's best for everybody on Koholint, even!"

"Oh, sure." Link replied flippantly, rising and cutting into Sliyes on the corner again. Up close, he could see that the previous wounds had been sealed off from the water inside, but not healed; they still gaped, revealing more rubbery red flesh underneath. _No other weapons will work, but I _can_ wear him down like this._ "Because living under your dominion is so great."

"It beats what would have happened to them otherwise." Sliyes said proudly, trying the abrupt turn again. This time, Link managed to duck around the pillars to avoid being hit in the face. "You think you know so much about this Island? About how it works? We _created_ Koholint, you cretin! Without us, there would be _nothing_ here! You, and everybody else, would be dead!"

"So that's what Gie meant when she was going on about what everybody here owed you people." Link realized, hitting Sliyes again. "Maybe what Fade said too, maybe not. Thanks for the information, all the same!" One more stab on the next go-around did it. Confident in knowing Sliyes' movement pattern, Link went for a thrust, which hit home, carving deep into the water sac. With a deafening noise, the entire thing burst, sending the wailing remnants of the big bug blasting across the room to splatter into the far wall.

"You... stupid..." Sliyes twitched a few times, then was still, gruesome remains melting into his shadow. "You don't know anything! You... aaaaagh..." Flickering, he was gone, a fairy left behind in his wake.

One healing later, Link went on into the next room, where what he saw improved his mood considerably. His flippers were sitting on an altar, plain as day, with a sign next to them bearing the word "TROPHY. "Well, whatever. I'm not going to argue." Taking them down, Link pulled his shoes off and the flippers on before returning to the main hall.

The magic flippers of the Zora people gave anybody, even an anchor like Link, fantastic swimming ability. Returning to the basement he'd passed on his way, Link pulled out what he'd seen down there; the horned key. "Have to wonder if this was intentional, or if he just tossed it there." Shrugging, he went back up to the main hall. Now that he could swim across the deep water, dodging blue tektites and peahats, he could reach the western shore, and go through the door he found there, the last of them in the hall.

The room beyond was strange; five raised tiles protruded from the surface of the water, set several feet apart from each other, each a different color of translucent glass. A sign nearby read, "PUZZLE." As Link stared, one of them lit up with an internal glow for a moment, then returned to normal. Then another, and another, followed its example.

"Okay, I _think_ I know what's going on here." Link muttered, watching the order carefully. When it had finished, he moved over to the first. Laying his hand on it caused it to repeat the glow, along with a chime. "Got it." When he'd gone through the entire sequence, a corner of the floor exploded, to his surprise. Raising his shield to protect himself from shrapnel, he lowered it once the danger was past, and looked down a flight of stairs. "Onward, then."

The underground tunnel was blank, straight and featureless, except for one part, where there was a perfectly square hole in the ceiling eight feet across. That, and a sign reading, "TRAP." Looking at it, Link shook his head and switched out his flippers for his pegasus boots. Pulling the sign out, he tossed it under the hole.

"Gotcha!" The animated stone block bellowed, falling and crushing the sign. This one only had one bulging eye in the face on its side. "Huh? Wait a second... why you little!" Still shouting insults, it retracted slowly back up the shaft. As soon as there was room, Link dashed under, and was past before it could reach the top and fall again. Up the stairs led him to a raised platform over a spike-covered lower floor, with turtles and peahats awaiting him by the dozen.

About ten minutes of fighting and several more minor injuries later, Link shoved the last turtle off into the spikes, then opened the only door in the room with the horned key. Beyond was nothing more than a hole in the floor and a ladder leading down. Shrugging, Link descended into a shaft like an oversized well, about thirty feet in diameter. A wooden scaffold ringed the sides above the deep water; it was this that Link climbed down onto, and found Angish awaiting him on, next to one final sign reading, "ME."

"You're here." The Lord said after a moment. "Sliyes failed. And he talked too much. That's bad. I'll punish him." He pushed his hair out of his eyes, and they gleamed in a way that sent a chill down Link's spine.

"Don't you think you have enough problems already without fighting amongst yourselves?" Link asked scornfully.

"No problems." Angish pointed at Link. "Except you. You're the problem. And now you won't be. Problems die, on Koholint. That's what they do. You're a problem, so you die. Here. Now."

"The others have tried that too, you know." Link raised an eyebrow. "Every one of them. What make you think you'll fare any better?"

"Because they're them. And I'm me." Angish seemed even larger and more monstrous than normal in the dark. "They make things too complicated. Get too carried away, pretending to be like you people. To be like men. We're not. Humans are here to belong to us. For us to do what we want to. We're not like you, human. We're your natural predators. And you're our meat. Metaphorically or literally. That's all you are."

"Wow, you can use big words." Link replied sarcastically. "I'm impressed. Sometimes the meat bites back, big guy. Let me show you how it's done."

"You can try. And you can die." Below their feet, the water began to move, to shift and churn like waves of the ocean. Higher and higher, it began to crash against the walls of the chamber, and as it did, Angish's body began to mutate. His trunk bloated, swelling blobbishly, as his massive arms and legs withered, shriveling down and up into him, causing him to flop pathetically onto the scaffolding. His hair fell out and disappeared, as his head began to retract, his neck disappearing and his face moving up onto the front of his body. His lips and eyes expanded grotesquely, the former bristling with needle-sharp fangs, and his skin paled, gross spots appearing.

The raging water smashed the scaffolding, and Link and Angish both fell into the depths, helpless. Fortunately, Link had his flippers on, and so was able to right himself, looking around frantically for any sign of Angish. In the darkness, a spot of shining light appeared, and then two more behind it, set in a dark, gigantic shape. The surface of the water exploded, and the fifty-foot angler fish leaped into the air, blank eyes and hooked mouth both fixated on Link, bobbing helplessly. "Now, man, you're _meat!_"

_I hate this type._ Eyes narrowed, Link didn't bother fighting the raging currents of the water; it would do him no good. Instead, he focused on watching Angish. The glow of the monster's headlight and eyes allowed him to keep track of him, even in the dark water. Angish was remaining still for the moment, waiting for the water to bring him close. When it did, the Lord lunged for him, but Link was ready. Before Angish's maw could reach him, the headlight came within range, and Link grabbed it in one hand even as he stabbed with his sword in the other.

Roaring, Angish thrashed around, and Link was flung loose, all the way across the room to land in the water with a terrific splash. Shaking his head to clear out the stars, he found Angish again, still remaining motionless. _That hurt a bit, but not nearly as much as being chomped would. Looks like I was right about that being a weak point, too! OW!_ A sharp pain had suddenly driven through his hand. Looking down, Link saw a tiny version of Angish, about the size of a melon, chewing savagely at his hand. Swearing, he chopped at the little fish until it died.

"Took your eyes off me." Angish gloated. "That's bad!" He went for Link again, and the hero barely managed to grab and stab the headlight again before being nabbed. Fortunately, it seemed Angish's reaction was involuntary, and he was thus tossed safely away again.

_Okay. Just have to keep in mind when I'll get near him._ Link glanced around for more small fish, then jerked as one began ripping into his left foot. Flailing a little, he stabbed at it, at which point another went for his sword-hand. Cursing, he transferred the blade to his other hand and chopped the pest in half, then hacked at Angish once more as the Lord attacked.

"Enough!" Angish bellowed, enraged. As Link righted himself, he saw the lights in the water swiftly approaching, and struck out wildly. Somehow, he managed to find the headlight, which was halfway severed by now. That was where his luck ran out, though; Angish was already in motion when he was flung away the fourth time, and before he could return upright, the Lord was on him. The monster's maw closed around his waist like a spiked vise, and Link arched in pain, howling.

All he could do was swing upwards, blindly, in hopes of hitting the headlight. His hopes panned out; the third slash was true, and Angish bellowed in pain again, dropping Link involuntarily. The Lord's swimming kept carrying him forward, and Link was swept underneath him, breaking the surface and gasping for air. _Angish! Where is he? _After a moment, he located the monster; he was swimming at full speed. Into a wall. _Huh?_

The crash was tremendous, rattling the entire room. Angish was reeling, motionless for the moment. Link blinked. _Is it a trick? Nah. Not from him. Then what-?_ His answer came a moment later, as a brick from the ceiling hit the water, then another. The third struck Link on the head, filling it with pain. Bobbing on the surface of the water, he tried in vain to put the room back together around him and move his limbs. He wasn't even cognizant of the little fish ripping at him.

Dimly, he saw the lights in the water charging him again, and forced all of his concentration on that. On his sword arm. _Last chance. Finish it. Finish it with this one, and then it's over. One way or another._ The angler fish was there, and Link was swinging, and then he was done, bobbing helplessly on the water's surface. Slowly, he forced his eyes up, as Angish broke the surface, and the bites of the smaller fish ceased.

"What?" Angish growled, disbelieving, as he stared at Link, his headlight severed and bleeding darkness. The stump then went further, melting into liquid entirely, and from there, it spread, down the entire fish from the top down. "What? What?" Whether it was water or their black blood he was melting into, Link could not tell in the darkness. Either way, the fish dissolved, leaving only a skeleton on the surface for a moment before it sunk down into the depths. "What?"

"Angler Fish." Link hissed, putting all of his concentration into the words as he clung to a piece of the wooden scaffolding to stay above water. "That one's easy, at least. You're Angler Fish. Get out of my sight, Angler Fish. Get out of my way, Angler Fish. I've had enough of you, Angler Fish."

"What?" The brute's shadow, wherever it was, kept saying, still disbelieving. "What?"

"Shut up, Angler Fish." Link said bitterly. "Just get out, Angler Fish. I know your name and your nature, Angler Fish. Begone from this place, already!"

Once his enemy was gone, Link was alone in the water, and could devote everything he had to simply swimming for the ladder, hoping that it hadn't been destroyed. Somehow, his fingers managed to find it, and he slowly hauled his exhausted, ravaged body up the rungs. Only when he'd reached the top did he realize he'd taken a different ladder than the one he'd come in on. He was in the back room, before a fountain of water, surprisingly ordinary compared to the others. That, and the fourth instrument, a golden harp with an ornamental enameled ocean wave at its peak.

"The Surf Harp." Link read, after limping his way over to it. As the light surrounded him, he hung his head, fighting the urge to just collapse then and there. He'd taken worse injuries in his career-not many, but there had been times. He would live. That was what he kept telling himself as he pitched over the rock shelf outside the Angler's Tunnel, and hit the river below, fading into black.

* * *

The cave was dark, and mostly filled with water; Link could see that right away. The exposed sand he was lying on was barely wide enough to fit him. He couldn't even see an entrance above water level; only the rock ceiling. On the plus side, he was alive, and whoever had brought him here had apparently also secured a fairy to heal him from the fight with Angish. The only confusing thing, really, was the music without a visible source that filled the cave.

It was a highly upbeat tune, with a simple pace; there seemed to be two similarly-sounding, high-pitched instruments along with a third, much deeper one. They sounded slightly like horns, but only slightly; for the most part, they were unlike any Link had heard before. Every so often, the players would all shout, "OH!" in unison. What was odd was that their voices sounded exactly like their instruments.

After a few repetitions, Link had the tune. Smiling, he pulled out his ocarina and began to accompany them, although he refrained from shouting, "OH!" The music continued along with him for a while, unsurprised by his accompaniment. Eventually, it stopped, and a moment later, three heads broke the surface of the water. All were fish, two small identical pike and a gigantic sunfish larger than Link.

"Ah, you are most skilled with that ocarina, young man!" The sunfish said in the same deep voice. "Not many could learn Manbo's Mambo so quickly. I am Manbo, child of the sun fish, and these are my apprentices in the art of music."

"I'm Link." Link nodded formally, lowering the ocarina. "It looks like I owe you for bringing me here and getting me a fairy. Thanks."

"Think nothing of it, young hero!" Manbo preened. "My good friend Chef Bear called me and asked me to keep an eye out for you, on behalf of Miss Marin from Mabe. That young lady is the only musical talent on this island greater than my own, and we're all quite fond of her. Sure enough, what do we see falling into the river but a young swordsman, ravaged from some colossal fight against what I can only assume was a truly terrifying monster!"

"I'd call 'Lord' Angish that, all right." Link winced, clutching his stomach reflexively. There were no scars and no pain, but he still couldn't shake the feeling that there should be. "It was rough, but I beat him in the end."

"So the tales of you challenging the Lords and Ladies were true." Manbo murmured. "Word had carried even to my little cave before Chef Bear's call came, but I must confess I was skeptical. Now, though, I believe them. Now then, is there anything more I can do for you, young man?"

"Just tell me what time it is and the best way to get back on shore from here." Link smiled. "I'm the one who owes you. If there's any way I can pay you back, just let me know."

"Simply continuing on your current course of action will be thanks enough." Manbo assured him. "While my apprentices and I may owe Lord Angish a debt for our speech, we chafe under his rulership, so we were pleased to see someone standing up to him and the rest." The pike both bobbed their heads in agreement. "It is nearly sunset now, and there is a beach you may use to climb ashore east of here. Go downstream and take the first fork to the right. Be careful that you do not miss it; beyond that fork lie the rapids."

"I'd better get back to Prince Richard before he wonders where the heck I am, then." Link said with a smile. "Again. Good luck to all of you." Submerging, he saw the shaft of light underwater and headed for it, emerging back in the river. He quickly located the shore Manbo had told him about and climbed back onto dry land, shaking as much of the water off of himself as possible. From there, it was an easy hike back south towards Richard's villa under the setting sun.

As Link made his way back, he slowly became aware of some odd phenomenon that was occurring. Out of the corner of his eye, he began seeing an odd gray flicker, but when he turned his head to get a better look, it was gone. It kept returning, though, all the way back to Richard's villa, and eventually Link decided to just wait and see if the mirrors that the Prince kept around there would help clarify the matter.

"Ah, _mon ami_!" Richard hailed him from the porch, where he was strumming a lute. "Another mission successful I see_eeeee!_" Eyes bugging out, he fell from his chair and dropped the lute, pointing above Link's head. "A g-g-g-_ghost!_"

"_What?_" Link yelped, almost as shocked. Dashing past Richard, he ran for the closest mirror and stared into it. Sure enough, hovering behind him was a misty, gray spirit. Nearly shapeless, it only had vaguely armlike appendages, along with holes for eyes and a mouth. All three had an extremely dismal cast to them. Staring in the mirror at it, Link tried to turn around once more, but again it disappeared. "Well. Shit. This is a new one on me."

"Wherever did you manage to get yourself attached to such a frightening apparition?" Richard asked weakly from the doorway, pale and trembling. "And how in Nayru's name will you be able to rid yourself of it?"

"It's-" Link started to say that it wasn't all _that_ frightening, but caught himself, figuring it out just in time. _Poor guy must have a thing about ghosts._ "It's a mystery to me. I think it just started following me on the way home from Angish's. I've got no clue why, or what it wants." He scratched the back of his head. "Poes you can kill again-it just takes a while-but this doesn't seem to be like them, so I don't know how well that would work."

"Are you saying that the ghost will remain with you _here?_ All _night?_" Richard began to sweat, despite obviously trying to compose himself.

"No. No, it's okay." Link raised a hand. "I wouldn't have stayed longer than tonight anyways, for the same reasons I couldn't at Mabe. If I remain in one place, whoever's putting me up will probably be targeted by the Lords and Ladies. It'd be best for both of us if I moved on. I'll just push the schedule for that up a night."

"You... are sure of this?" Richard was fighting his instincts, and it showed on his face. "But where will you go? I... I cannot allow you to simply sleep in a bush like some monster. Even if that means I..." He trailed off.

"No, it's fine." Link glanced out the window. "The moon's still newly risen. There should be enough time to get to Animal Village before everybody turns in there. Chef Bear already said he'd put me up for a few nights if I needed it."

"I see." Richard edged around the room, trying to approach Link while staying as far away from the ghost as possible. Once he was close enough, he extended a hand. "I won't argue further; I can see your mind is made up. Remember, though, you do still have a friend here, should you ever require my assistance once more."

"I will." Link promised, shaking his hand warmly. "Good luck in the future." Waving, he left the villa, taking the east road. Only once he was out of sight did he pause in his tracks before speaking aloud. "All right, you. What's the big deal? Why are you following me around all of a sudden? I'd appreciate some answers."

At first there was no response, but then after a few moments, Link's shoulder went cold. A moment later, he heard a voice whispering in his ear, barely loud enough to be understood. "The house... take me to the house... by the beach... my house by the beach... take me there..."

"At least you're clear about what you want." Link said sourly. "I'm not going all the way there tonight, though. Just hope Chef Bear doesn't mind annoying ghosts. Can't say I prefer your company to Richard's, buddy, but it doesn't look like I have any choice in the matter. Will you do me a favor and stop trying to hide, at least? I _know_ you're there, now." He waited a moment before turning around. This time, the ghost remained where it was, hovering in the air.

"The house..." It repeated. "By the beach..."

"Yeah, yeah. I've got it." Link shook his head. "Tomorrow, okay? I'll help you find some rest after I get mine." Muttering under his breath, he turned towards the east and continued walking, ghost trailing behind him.

* * *

"What are you _doing_, Angish?" Gie howled as she saw what was happening in the meeting chamber of Kanalet Castle. The hulking Lord was bashing Sliyes' head against the stone wall, leaving trails of blood; his victim was helpless, his entire skull fitting in Angish's palm. Morm and Sleel were both watching this with narrowed eyes, but making no moves to stop him.

"Huh?" Angish turned to regard Gie, letting Sliyes dangle motionless for the moment. "Oh. Gie. I'm punishing Sliyes." He held up the little Lord, whose limbs were dangling like a rag doll. "He was bad. He talked too much. Told the Link too much. And he lost, too. So I'm punishing him."

"Gie..." Sliyes croaked. "Help..."

Gie looked around frantically, but neither Morm nor Sleel was offering assistance, and the five of them were the only ones there. Staring back up at Angish, she closed her eyes and whispered an apology under her breath, then stepped around him to the table, taking her seat. "No sign of Greeper yet?"

"He maintains that he is waiting for the correct moment to strike." Morm said as Angish continued to brutalize Sliyes. "Whatever his cunning plan is, he's keeping it to himself. Which leaves us in quite the situation."

"I don't mind it, myself." Sleel shrugged. "It looks like he'll _finally_ be coming to see me. I've been waiting for that ever since he arrived here."

"Take my word for it, it's not as much fun as you'd think." Gie rolled her eyes. "Let me guess, Morm. You're going to help her out in her home."

"Well, everybody else here's already tried _their_ half-forms." Sleel pointed out smugly. "And failed miserably. Why shouldn't dear brother have his turn?"

"You could have phrased that better, sweet sister." Morm sighed. "I don't see you coming up with any better suggestions, Gie."

"This is pathetic." Gie rolled her eyes. "_Me_ taking the lead? I guess if nobody _else_ is going to do anything, I've got no choice, though."

"There's always Fade." Morm remarked slyly. "What has _he_ been up to, by the way? I could have sworn you said he would be getting involved."

"He's focusing on his own business, like Greeper." Gie narrowed her eyes. "I'm glad you brought that up, though. That reminds me that we aren't the only ones here. If Greeper wants to go about his big complicated plans without letting us in on them, then maybe we'll do something behind _his_ back too."

"I see." Sleel murmured. "Very well. We have no complaints, as long as it's done with proper style, do we, dear brother?" She glanced at Morm, who shook his head.

"Good. Hey, Angish!" Gie turned to shout at the brute. "We need Sliyes for something now, okay?"

"Oh." Angish paused, then walked over to join them. Depositing Sliyes firmly in his own chair, the huge Lord patted him gently on the head. "Be good this time."

"What is it?" Sliyes asked after a moment, eyes frightened.

"You're the best of us at locating people." Gie said, putting her feet up on the table. "Greeper's too busy with his own stuff to keep an eye on us right now, so go and find wherever Hoad's been sulking ever since he was kicked out. Tell him Greeper's not looking, and if he wants to do anything to Link before the old man focuses again, the rest of us won't see anything either. If I know Hoad, he'll be on that like a moblin on grilled slugs."

"An unnecessarily grotesque yet accurate metaphor." Sleel said, making a face. "And if Greeper returns, and discovers this?"

"It's Hoad's fault, not ours." Gie shrugged. "You two are concentrating on your place, Sleel. I'm sticking with Fade. Sliyes was keeping an eye on things here in Kanalet. And nobody expects Angish to do anything without somebody else telling him to first. Are we done here, then? I'm bored of this whole 'being a leader' thing already."

"How nice to know that some can see things in such simple terms." Morm said sardonically. "Isn't it, sweet sister?"

"Oh, of course, dear brother." Sleel smiled evilly. "But then, sometimes that has its advantages. Greeper and Fade can plan and plot all they wish, but I plan to make Link's visit to my home very simple, and very final."


	9. Chapter 8: A Hero's Luck

_**Chapter 8: A Hero's Luck**_

_Keep him tied it makes him well _

_He's getting better can't you tell_

"Mornin', son." Chef Bear greeted Link as he stumbled downstairs, yawning. "Have a nice siesta?" The big bruin had grumbled a bit about the late hour when Link had dropped by the previous night, but had insisted that Link stay for a few evenings. He was busy in front of a stove, cooking up massive piles of breakfast dishes.

"Pretty good." Link shrugged. "Are you planning on feeding the entire village?"

"Just the ones who can't be trusted to cook for themselves." Chef Bear said, then sighed. "Which is a lot of 'em. And visitors too, of course. You an' miss Marin. Speakin' of which, you wanna take your ghostly buddy there an' go tell her it's ready?"

"Sure." Link glanced over his shoulder at the ghost, which was still following him. Every so often, it would repeat its message. Marin was staying with Lady Christine, who lived a few houses down, but according to Chef Bear, the goat's choice in food would hardly be to Marin's liking. The front door was open; knocking, he entered. "Hey, Marin. You up?"

"Is _that_ how you greet a lady, young man?" Christine sniffed disapprovingly; she was sitting behind her writing desk. "How rude. You didn't even bring flowers. What happened to proper courtesy, hmm?"

"Look, it's not-" Link tried to explain, then paused. After a moment, he made an irritated noise and reached into his pack. "Actually, I do have this hibiscus right here."

"Ah, much better." Christine leaned over, snatched the flower from his hand as he took it out, and plunked it into a jar of water on her desk. "Now then, since you seem to be a gentleman after all, I do have a favor to ask of you. My dear friend Mister Write lives up in the Mysterious Woods, and there's no postal service on the island. Would you be so kind as to deliver my latest letter to him, with all due haste?"

"Uh... sure." Link replied after a moment. _She's like Richard. It's a female Richard. Who's also a goat. I'm gonna just end this conversation as quickly as possible._ Taking the letter from her, he slipped it into his pack. "Is Marin still here?"

"Yes, she's up on the balcony." Christine inclined her head. "Feel free to go join her. You'd make a splendid couple."

Ignoring that, Link went on up as she'd suggested, and found Marin on the balcony, looking south over the village to the ocean. "Hey." He joined her with a smile. "Thinking about outside the island again?"

"When did you get here?" Marin smiled back. "It's a little early for you to have hiked all the way from Prince Richard's villa."

"I seem to have picked up a problem." Link thumbed over his shoulder at the ghost. "Richard has issues with ghosts, so I came down here. Chef Bear said I could crash with him for a few days anyway, so it worked out fine."

"And you didn't want to stay in one place for too long." Marin guessed shrewdly. "So you'd have been moving over here soon enough anyways."

"You might make a pretty good adventurer." Link said without thinking. "You've got all the right instincts." Inwardly, he winced, but kept his face calm, even as Fade's words ran through his mind once more.

_"What if I told you that waking up the Wind Fish would kill everybody on this island?" _

"I'll take that as a compliment." Marin replied cheerfully, unaware of his thoughts. "Maybe if I can leave here, I can try that, then. Think Hyrule'd take me as an Agent if I learned the ropes?"

"We've taken far worse." Link replied honestly. "You know, they actually sent somebody here after me when I disappeared. Problem is, that somebody's a psychotic purple bat. Getting any sense out of her is like trying to milk a turnip."

"I'll have you know I tried turnip milk once, and it wasn't bad." Marin said with a straight face, then gave up and laughed when Link did. "That's special. Why did the crown hire _her?_"

"Mad scientist principle." Link shrugged. "Or something like that. I don't get too involved with the bureaucratic side of thing, myself. I just go around and stab stuff when they tell me to."

"I'll bet that looks good on a resume." Marin joked again. "Two years ago. Wandered around, stabbed things. One year ago. Wandered around, stabbed things. This year. Stabbed things, wandered around."

"You're in fine form this morning." Link snorted. "Good day?"

"I like Animal Village." Marin smiled as, down below, the Bunny Brothers ran towards Chef Bear's house, tossing a ball around like the quadruplets in Mabe often did. "I like everywhere on Koholint, really. Don't get me wrong about that, it's a wonderful island. It's just that after spending so much time trapped here, I'd like something else." She glanced over at Chef Bear's house. "Is breakfast ready, by the way?"

"Yeah, that's why he sent me over here." Link explained. "Care to join us?"

"Of course." Marin winced. "Lady Christine is kind, but her idea of breakfast is some nice fried palm leaves."

"Let's get out of here before she offers us some." Link said fervently, and she nodded.

"So, what's with the ghost, anyways?" Marin asked as they left the house. "You never actually explained how that happened."

"He just started following me on the way back home from Angish's." Link shrugged. "Seems to want me to take him places. I probably will after breakfast just to see if I can get him to leave me alone after I do. It's kind of bothering me."

"No kidding." Marin said sympathetically. "Good luck with that." The table inside Chef Bear's house was set, and everybody was in the process of taking their seats. Link and Marin had been left two by each other, which they quickly took.

"All right, you all know the table manners!" Chef Bear announced from the head of the table. "Pass everything around to the left. Keep it going until everybody's seen everything. Take too much, and I'll bang a kettle on your head. Spill anything, and you get to lick it up. Guests excepted, of course. Now let's get eating!"

"And he wonders why they call him 'chief.'" Link muttered to Marin under his breath.

"He says somebody has to be in charge around here, and nobody else is going to." She replied, just as quietly, as she passed him the toast. "He shouts a lot, but he makes sure everybody is taken care of."

"Yeah, he's a good man. Er, bear. Er, whatever." Link said awkwardly.

"I wouldn't advise calling him a whatever to his face." Marin laughed a little, continuing to pass more food. "So, where will you be going after trying to deal with your new friend? A shame he can't join us for this."

"He doesn't seem to mind." Link said, shrugging again. "After he's taken care of, I figure I'll go for Sleel next. I saw Martha's Bay on the way here. Looks like her door's wide open, so I won't have to hunt down a key."

"If you beat Lord Angish, you should be able to take her." Marin nodded. "Just don't let your guard down. She acts like she's just Morm's twin, but I get the impression she's more cunning than he is, and just as twisted."

"Yeah." Link chose not to elaborate on what he knew about the two of them. She didn't need to know just how right she was about their problems. "I never drop my guard when on the job. Leave it to me."

"Good." Marin smiled. "At least now I'll get to see you often again, for a few more days at least. I won't stay in Animal Village long enough to cause you problems, but two or three days should be fine, right?"

"Yeah." Link lied. It wasn't fine at all, but he couldn't bring himself to say that. Instead, he just began eating; all the dishes had been passed around. "That should be okay." He'd avoided thinking about it at the time, but just seeing Marin again had made him feel better, and he knew that when he parted ways from her to go do the day's work, the day would seem just a little less brighter from that point on. It was a spectacularly bad sign, but he couldn't think of any way to help it, and that was the worst part of all.

* * *

As he'd said, after breakfast, Link went west. He had a fairly good idea of what the ghost wanted. Circling around Martha's Bay to its west side, he continued in that direction, along the southern coast. As he made his way, he saw a cavern with a bright yellow arrow sign pointing away from it, with "YES SOLICITORS" written on it. After a moment or two of denial, he gave in and walked inside, the ghost still trailing him. Dumping a pinch of magic powder into the well, he stood back and waited for the show.

"Hi, are you selling these fine leather jackets?" The Mad Batter shouted, blasting out of the well. "Oh, it's you again. Thought I took out a restraining order on you." The maniac had slapped on a pair of bright pink tinted glasses.

"I'm not going to dignify that with a response." Link snorted, turning to regard the ghost. "You might just want to take five outside the cave. I'll be right out, and I wouldn't want anybody to have to sit through this who didn't have to."

"Whoa, this is different." The Mad Batter flapped over to regard the ghost, who shrank back a little. "Man, you're really in the wringer, aren't you? Sucks to be your ass. Hey, can I borrow five rupees?"

"Over here, buzzard." Link waved at her. "You said you were going to try to get through to Hyrule. Any progress on that?"

"Glad you asked!" The Batter left the cringing ghost and flew back to her well, pulling a round hand-mirror out of it. "Got this hooked up through outer space, inner space, subspace, dubspace, dreamspace and screamspace, and it looks like something got through." On the mirror's surface was a random pattern of fast-flickering black, white and grey dots. Behind them, Link could see what looked like Handy and Neosquid, as if through a window. There was a great deal of hissing and buzzing as well, but through it, words could be partially made out.

"-ey, boss!" Neosquid was saying. "You're... ive after a... uh? Gl... o see... Mad's no... ch help by... self."

"Go back to tentacle porn!" The Batter screamed at him.

"Hey, guys." Link waved. "Listen, we're stuck on some place called Koholint Island. Don't suppose you've got any info on the place?"

"Yeah, Ma.... eady told us." Handy replied. "Pr... is, we've... looking, and _nobo_... ver heard of the... fore! Got commu... ing with ever... land we kn... no luck! It... ike the damn... esn't even exi... elda's pissed as hell!"

"Can you put her on?" Link asked.

"The holes in the ozone layer only let this thing through for about half an hour a day." The Mad Batter said, unusually serious for a moment, before reverting. "Goddamned FCC, always spoiling my fun."

"Right." Link shook his head. "Guess I should be glad I came here when I did. All right, guys. Tell Zelda _not_ to send anybody here after us. They'd just wind up trapped here too."

"Ok... 'll try, but yo... ow she gets." Neosquid shrugged. "Yo... nna be oka... ss?"

"I'm working on getting out of here right now." Link said with a smirk. "Just have to kick some ass to open the door." _I hope._

"Busin... usual, huh?" Handy chuckled. "Well... ight. Crap... etting wor... ood lu... oss!" The interference was increasing, and soon, there was nothing coherent visible or audible left at all.

"So much for that." The Mad Batter folded the mirror in half like a napkin and slipped it into a pocket, somehow. "You gonna go back to the nine to five grind, Office Max?"

"Er... yeah, I'm getting back to work." Link made for the entrance, then paused. "You going to stay here?"

"Nope!" The Batter said cheerfully. "Got a cabin up in the mountains on a timeshare. Figure I'll do some skiing. Don't forget your free sample!" Her eyes glowed, and magical beams struck Link. "Twice the boom without the gloom! See you in the funny papers, kid!" This time, she blasted backwards through the wall, leaving a bat-shaped hole and a trail of pink smoke.

After confirming that his bomb bag had received the same space-expanding magic as his pouch of magic powder, Link left the cave and continued west, the ghost in tow. Soon enough, he approached the cove where he'd found Marin a few days ago. Back then, he'd spotted an abandoned, run-down shack nearby. Now, he approached it, and as he did, the ghost became agitated.

"Here! Enter. My house." Without waiting for him, it floated in, and after a moment, Link followed it. Inside, it floated around from one spot to another. Everything inside was old and ravaged by the weather-the door had been off, and the windows all opened-but it looked like it had been a nice place, once. "Nostalgia. Unchanged." It began making an odd sound, and after a moment, Link realized it was crying.

"Hey." Link started to try placing a hand on its shoulder, then stopped. "Are you going to be okay?"

"Yes. Enough." The ghost turned to him. "Cemetery. My grave. Take me."

"Yeah, okay." Link looked around, at all the dust and decay, and slowly nodded. "I know where the graveyard is. Let's go."

"Well, ain't this a sweet scene." Another voice joined the conversation, from the door. Hoad stood there, blocking out the sunlight. "Morning, hero. How you doing? Been a while."

"A few days." Link agreed, as the ghost drifted behind him. "Thought you'd show up again before now, to be honest. Overslept?"

"Had a _disagreement_ with the rest of the crew." Hoad made a rude noise. "Shitheads, the lot of them. I'm _almost_ tempted to join up with you and help you wreck the joint, at this point. It'd be good for a laugh, at least."

"Almost." Link drew his sword. "But not quite."

"But not quite." Hoad agreed. "I'm just having too much fun with you. Sorry to disappoint you, hero."

"Don't worry." Link snorted. "It takes a lot more than that to disappoint me. So, you followed me all the way here, huh? Can we step outside, then?"

"And why would I want to do that?." Hoad chuckled wickedly. "It's not like anybody uses this shack anymore. Place is an eyesore." He spread his arms, palms up, and in both of them, flames appeared. Fire exploded into the air, twin geysers erupting from Hoad's arms, lighting up the roof of the ruined shack. The flames covering his hands melted into glowing red steel, twin gauntlets with spikes across the knuckles, and the Lord drew his fists up before him. "So let's get this party started, already!"

Before Link could speak or attack, Hoad was on him, and he brought his shield up on pure instinct, blocking the first punch, then the next. The raging Lord's fists struck again and again and again, and it was all Link could do to protect himself at first. When he took a chance and struck out, Hoad snorted and deflected the sword with the gauntlet on his left arm.  
"Nice try!" The Lord yelled. "No dice!"

"Of all of you people, you're the last one I'd expect to have a weapon that's defensive in nature." Link said sarcastically, circling around to avoid being backed against a wall. _Which is a serious problem, since those things won't be damaged no matter what I do to them._ "Have I been getting you wrong all this time?"

"Oh, sure. Never burn a book by its cover, and all that." Hoad snorted derisively, resuming his attack. Every punch by him dented Link's shield slightly. Little by little, the damage would add up. "We can keep this up all day if we have to-hell, that sounds like fun to me! As soon as that thing breaks, you're done!"

"Maybe." Link grunted, trying a whirling blade strike. Like the first attack, it was deflected. "Or maybe not." After blocking a few more punches, he suddenly jumped back, surprising Hoad. Before the Lord could chase him, he moved forward again, kicking up speed with his boots while holding both sword and shield out in front of him, like a jouster. Once more, sword met gauntlet, but this time Link's acceleration was too great, and Hoad's gauntlet was forced aside instead. As he passed by, Link swung to the side, and his sword took a chunk out of Hoad's upper arm.

"There we go!" Hoad crowed, striking with his other fist as Link passed. The gauntlet smashed him in the back, spikes digging in, and Link grunted in pain, but kept his footing. They hadn't hit anything vital, but it had been a close shave. "Let's keep it going!"

"Sure thing, freak." Link snapped, more confident than he felt. Hoad alone wasn't the problem so much as the fire spreading through the shack. It was reaching the roof now, and if he ran for the door, Hoad would be able to kill him easily. _Have to finish this fast! _Resetting his stance, he charged at high speeds again. This time, he combined it with the whirling blade strike, but to no avail. Hoad had seen it coming, and blocked with _both_ gauntlets, crossing his arms before them. Link's sword stuck, and his speed caused him to flip around off his feet, crashing bodily into Hoad.

"Seen that one enough-_huh?_" Hoad went down, him and Link both grunting in pain.

"Shit." As they sprawled, Link fought the instinct to roll away; pieces of burning wood were already falling from the roof. Instead, he tightened his grip on his sword and slashed down, even as Hoad's spiked fists smashed into his chest. He felt his ribs crack, in several places, but his weapon came down on Hoad's face, and that was it-or so he thought. Even as the Lord began to melt into shadows, he managed one final punch into Link's stomach.

"Pretty ballsy." Hoad congratulated as Link rolled over, bleeding from a dozen places. "Guess the win's yours on account of having the guts to stick that one out."

"Gee, thanks." Link managed to erk out as he got back to his feet and made for the door of the shack. He wasn't a moment too soon; with appropriate dramatic timing, as he turned around to look at it once he was safe, the roof collapsed entirely, reducing the old house to a pile of flaming rubble. Sighing, Link pulled his tunic off and rummaged around in his pack for some bandages; he wanted to stop the bleeding, or at least lessen it, before searching out the nearest fairy. At least Hoad hadn't followed him out; that was something.

Hovering over his shoulder, the ghost watched its house burn to the ground, and said nothing more.

* * *

The graveyard on Koholint Island was one of the most dangerous places on the island that weren't a lair of the Lords and Ladies. Link had been warned about it by the villagers in Mabe; the entire place was swarming with restless undead. Ghostly poes, he was familiar with, but the burrowing zombies were a new one on him. There was a reason Balzac the shopkeeper doubled as the undertaker for Koholint; his magic allowed him to fight off the undead, something not many others on the island could do. By now, though, Link was feeling enough like his old self to risk a trip.

"Suppose I should be glad you're not as hostile as these jokers." He commented to the ghost, chopping a zombie's head off and watching the corpse wither into dust. A poe screamed down from the sky, and he threw magic powder in its face. The burning spirit crashed into the ground, bounced, and dissipated. "Which way is yours, then?"

"Here. Over here." The ghost led him to a secluded alcove, surrounded by trees. Entering, Link turned his back to the grave and took out attacking undead until no more came at him, then walked over.

"I can't make out a single thing on this." He muttered. The gravestone's face had been eroded by time and the elements. "Just how long has it been since you were alive?"

"Long. Very long." The ghost told him sadly. "Tried to sleep. Slept uneasy. Uneasy always. Woke up. Looked for one to help. You did. Will try to sleep again. Thank you. Goodbye..." It flickered in the air as it descended into the grave, and was gone.

"Hoot, hoot! The dead have an especially harsh burden to carry, on this island of lies." The owl said, flying down to perch on the headstone. "They cannot even have the peace of oblivion, so long as the Children of Nightmares hold them in thrall, and for that they have my pity."

"Wait." Link turned, staring back out into the rest of the graveyard. "Are you saying that _everybody_ who dies here becomes one of those things? A poe or a zombie?"

"Only those who die with anger in their hearts." The owl explained. "The rest, such as your friend, remain as spirits without peace, but are no danger to others. Perhaps that is even the more harsh sentence. Yet, it is not my place to decide. I can only pray that you free them, and all others, from the yoke of those who dominate the island."

"Yeah, I... was working on that." Link shook his head. _Shit. Shit shit shit._ "Martha's Bay should be next, right?"

"Correct. Dive deep, and enter the Catfish's Maw." The owl nodded gravely. "The closer you come to awakening the Wind Fish, the more restless his slumber becomes. Carry on without fear, and the day of his rising will come!" Hooting, he flew away into the sky.

"Might as well drop the letter off while I'm here." Link said to himself after a moment, more to avoid having to think about the implications of what he'd just been told than anything else. "North of the Mysterious Woods, huh?" Syrup's home was just north of the graveyard. From there, he made his way to an isolated, small house built up against the westernmost Tal Tal Heights. Knocking on the door, he announced himself. "Got a letter here for a Mr. Write!"

"Oh!" The door opened quickly. Inside was an unassuming, middle-aged man with large glasses. "Please, come in, come in! I don't believe I've met you before. Are you new on this island?"

"Yeah, my name's Link." He followed the man inside. The home was very sparse; there was no decoration, and little furniture. A bird sat in a cage, watching him, but aside from that the only thing of note was the man's desk, which was covered in writing paraphernalia. "Nice to meet you."

"Well, I don't really meet many people out here anyways." Mr. Write admitted nervously. "I just, well, stick to myself really, haha. Me and my letters, yes... although it always takes so long to send anything, or get a response..." He looked downcast for a moment, then brightened up. "But you said you had one for me, yes? Is it from my dear Christine?"

"Uh... yeah." Link agreed after a moment. _My de... no, don't ask._ "She asked me to bring it by here."

"Oh, thank you." Mr. Write snatched it from his hand as he pulled it out. "She lives in the other village, on the far side of the island, so we've never actually met. But she's the most well-spoken person I've ever, er, read letters by. I... oh, she's included a photo of herself!" He pulled it out, and Link saw it. The woman in the photo was a beautiful blonde woman in a pink dress. A human woman. "She's even more pretty than I'd thought!"

"Right." Link stopped himself from commenting. _Just nod, smile, and be on your way._ "Well, I won't keep you."

"Ah? Oh, right." Mr. Write nodded absently, then looked up. "Oh, wait, I have to give you something for your help, don't I? Well, I... hm..." He began looking around frantically. "I don't have much money, and there's not much else here I could... oh, here." Opening a closet, he pulled out a broom. "Will this do?"

"Sure." Link accepted it, still keeping his mind blank to avoid thinking about the situation at hand. "Enjoy, uh, writing back to her."

"Oh, I will!" Mr. Write beamed, waving cheerfully as Link left. "Have a nice day, and thank you again!"

From there, Link returned to the Animal Village, making only one quick stop at Mabe first to purchase a disgustingly overpriced bow and arrow set from Balzac. It was already late afternoon, and his thoughts were too frazzled for him to trust himself to focus on the next dungeon anyways. Not so much from the situation with Mr. Write and Christine-although that hadn't _helped_-as the revelation that the dead still remained trapped on Koholint.

_There are too many undead in that graveyard. It makes sense._ Link thought to himself as he made his way to the southeast. _I hate to admit it, and I'm still not sure that owl's being straight with me, but it _does_ all click, dammit. This changes things. It changes everything. My own opinions on the subject-what I _want_ to do-don't matter any more. This is bigger than me, them, and anybody else on this island now._ _I _have_ to get off of here, no matter _what_, or the price is going to be the end of the world, or the nearest thing to it._

The Triforce had been split among three souls. Ganon, Link and Zelda. When Ganon had threatened Hyrule and the world once more after millennia of imprisonment in the Sacred Realm, Link and Zelda had been reborn to fight him, as their own descendants who only regained the memories of their previous lives during the struggle. The Triforce had called them forth once more, to resume the battle that had begun so long ago, when Ganondorf Dragmire had first seized and split the Triforce. A battle that was still ongoing, even after another, more decisive victory.

Ganon was dead, but Link and Zelda had died too, and they had returned. They were under no illusions as to the permanence of their enemy's demise. One way or another, the Triforce of Power would return Ganon to the world eventually, and when it did, Link and Zelda would once again be the only things capable of stopping his domination of Hyrule, and then the world. The cycle would repeat, possibly for all eternity; if there was a way to break it, none of them could see it.

_Unless I can't._ Link thought, worried. _Unless I'm stuck here, on Koholint Island, even after my death. If my soul is trapped here forever, and the Triforce of Courage along with it... then everything is screwed._ Zelda was strong, far moreso than her delicate appearance suggested, and she was intelligent beyond Link's ability to comprehend. But alone, against Ganon, she wouldn't stand a chance. She never had. Ganon would tear the Triforce of Wisdom from her, and then with both Wisdom and Power at his command, he would likely break Koholint in half to take the third piece from Link.

_I can't stay here._ Link told himself firmly, as he reached the west gate of Animal Village, watching the first traces of the sunset's colors begin to leak across the sky. _I _have_ to leave this island. It's out of my hands, out of my choice._ The thought that he needed to believe that in order to do so shamed him, as did the thought of Zelda living the rest of her life without ever seeing his return, but against his will, his thoughts went to Marin again. And from Marin, to Fade.

_"What if I told you that waking up the Wind Fish would kill everybody on this island?" _

Mind uncertain, heart in turmoil, Link walked into Animal Village once more.

* * *

The aquatic zoras had once been a beautiful, intelligent species, originally dwelling in Hyrule along with many other nonhylian sentients. However, when all of said nonhylians had departed to seek out other lands, a tiny percentage of zoras had remained, proudly refusing to live anywhere but their territory. Depending on who you asked, it was either a curse of the Goddesses or the effects of inbreeding that had eventually transformed Hyrulian zoras into primitive grotesques, nearly incapable of sentient thought and automatically hostile to land dwellers.

Link had no clue how said Hyrulian zoras had come to dwell on Koholint. Judging by the curses they threw at him along with their firebreath, they were marginally more intelligent than those in his homeland; there, only the gargantuan King Zora was capable of speaking a civilized language. Despite that, they were just as hideous and malicious, plaguing him from the moment he approached any body of water on the island.

Dodging their attacks, Link swam resolutely towards his destination, in the center of Martha's Bay. The Catfish's Maw was a gigantic statue of the animal it was named for, painted to be stunningly lifelike, its head rising from the water and its mouth gaping open. A ring-shaped reef surrounded it, with three statues of eels on top in the front. "Huh. Yeah, thought I remembered that. Another easy one to guess. I won't complain, but all this good luck's got to catch up with me eventually."

Rather than climbing over the reef, which looked more than a little painful, Link dived to look for holes, and found one quickly. Emerging on the inside, he climbed into the statue's mouth after only a moment of hesitation, and followed the winding tunnel downward. It was made of a reddish-pink material, which didn't put him at ease, but it was definitely stone; when he touched the wall, it was actually colder than normal rock. That, and the fact that the floor shortly became covered with sand like the bottom of the bay outside, alleviated his worries slightly.

Before long, he passed a door in the side of the hall, and after a moment's thought, took it. Inside, he saw a stairway leading down in the back of the room, with two strange creatures blocking his way. They looked somewhat akin to the 'mimics' from the Key Cavern, squat and round with two tiny feet, but these had pointed iron masks covering the fronts of their bodies. Some careful sidestepping and jumping allowed Link to avoid the critters as they walked towards him, but rather than attempting to take them out, he simply took the staircase.

"I know a pain in the ass when I see one." He muttered to himself, descending into the tunnel, then winced. "And this is another." A spiked chasm separated the stairs he'd descended and the ones leading up on the opposite side. The only way across were two stone platforms, hanging by chains from the ceiling. Looking carefully, Link saw that the chains vanished into holes in the ceiling rather than being anchored, and that the platforms were of uneven height, the closer to him being higher. That was enough to make an educated guess. "Weight-counterweight. Nasty. This'll have to be quick."

When he jumped onto the first, it immediately began to descend, as the other rose. Fortunately, Link was already moving forward and leaping again, across to the second and then to the stairs in one fluid motion. Looking back once he'd landed, he saw that he'd actually rested on the first for longer; it was now lower. "Hrm. Well, I might need to come back this way anyways, so that's okay."

Unfortunately, what awaited Link above the stairs was a disappointment. A dead-end room, with no other exits, and nothing inside but a treasure chest and a horde of stalfos who charged as soon as they saw him. Muttering a few choice oaths, Link took out his frustration on the walking skeletons, noting in passing that the floor of the room had tiles forming a skull shape rising from the sand. "Cute interior design. Real cute."

When he'd finished the last of them, he noticed that one had been holding a small key, which he took. The chest held a map, which showed the dungeon to be shaped like some serpentine animal. "And back to the narcissism. Well, at least this wasn't a _total_ waste of time." Returning to the curved corridor, Link descended further. Before long, a stream emerged from the right wall and began trickling down underfoot. Grimacing, he avoided it as much as possible, and took the next door on the left as soon as he saw it.

Unfortunately, the door led only to a deathtrap; a series of spiked trenches spanned the room, with narrow rises of land separating them. He would have been able to jump across were it not for the spiked vise traps on the sides, the same kind that had been in Morm's. "I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Damn, I miss my hookshot." Sighing, Link returned to the main way.

As it turned out, fate had a sense of humor. The third door down led him through another basement tunnel, this one featuring flimsy scaffolding over water filled with carnivorous fish. Leaping across the gaps, Link emerged in another dead-end with skull tiles on the floor. This one, though, held a stone slab whose missing piece he didn't have, and a treasure chest being rummaged through by a stalfos. A ten-foot stalfos, gargantuan beyond human capabilities, wearing a few loose scraps of armor and holding sword and shield, both equally massive.

"Just what I needed to see. A stalfos knight." Link groaned, then blinked, seeing what it was removing from the chest. "Hey, that's mine!" In the monster's shield hand was the hookshot device he had been wishing for just minutes ago, apparently taken from the chest.

"Forget it, kid! And that's _Master_ Stalfos to you!" The skeleton yelled over its shoulder, stunning Link. "Finders keepers! I finally find some loot worth the trouble of swiping on this stupid island, defuse the trap on it, and you want me to just hand it over to you? Ha!"

"You can talk?" Link said dumbly, then shook his head, clearing it. "Well, whatever. You're not working for the Lords and Ladies, huh? You know, normally, I'd shake your hand and wish you luck for that. But I _really_ kind of need that thing right there they stole from me. Don't suppose there's any sort of deal we could work out for that?"

"Not happening, punk!" The skeleton turned around fully, sword and shield at the ready. The former was a six-foot blade no human could have used with one hand, but the monster was a different story. "I stole this loot, fair and square! You want it, you'll have to take it from my cold dead hands, and good luck keeping them off your neck if you try!"

"You know, I think I can live with that." Link said, already in motion. He wanted to end this as quickly as possible, and so he ran forward, banking on being able to get inside the enemy's range before he was expected. Fortunately, he succeeded; even as the startled skeleton raised his blade, Link was close enough to strike first, his sword sweeping through the enemy's ribs. As he'd hoped, the blow caused the enemy to collapse into a pile of bones.

"A stalfos knight, after all." Link pulled a bomb out quickly. The sword alone wouldn't actually kill the foe; that would require additional measures. Fortunately, he'd fought these particular monstrosities before-even if none of them had talked-so he knew what to do. Dropping the explosive among the bonepile after lighting it, he backed away to avoid being caught in the explosion.

"_Yeow!_" Master Stalfos roared as it went off, charring and scattering his bones, but not actually destroying any. "What're you trying to do, kill me? Too bad, I'm already dead!"

"Talks, _and_ tougher than most." Link muttered to himself, watching the flying bones drift back together and reassemble. "This might take a while." He charged again, then groaned, realizing too late that he was now facing the skeleton's off-side, with the massive shield. Larger than his own entire torso, it would be impenetrable against his sword.

"Gotcha now!" Master Stalfos bellowed triumphantly, raising his own massive sword as he saw Link prepare his own shield. "That little piece of tinfoil won't do jack against me, kiddo!"

"Maybe." Link quipped, throwing the shield at his enemy's face. The skull spun around wildly, and he froze, long enough for Link to move around the shield and hit him again. Another collapse was followed by another bomb. This time, Link was more prepared; he stood out of range of the blast, but no further, and made sure he was on the correct side. As soon as his foe reformed, he moved in and repeated the two-step attack.

"Dammit!" Master Stalfos roared, coming back together once more. As soon as he was formed, he leapt into the air, hurdling Link's next strike and the hero himself. "What the hell is your problem? I ain't getting paid enough for this! Matter of fact, I'm not getting paid at all! I'm outta here!"

"Oh, no you don't!" Link whirled around to give chase, following him out of the room. "Get back here!" Master Stalfos ran further down the main corridor, and Link kept after him, passing up two more doors before the giant skeleton turned towards a third. He kept the chase up past several chasms too wide for him to cross, even with his boots and feather combined. Empty chests gaped on the opposite sides, apparently already pillaged by the skeletal thief. At the end, they reached another dead-end with a skull motif on the floor.

"You're a real pesky kid, you know that?" Master Stalfos skidded on his heels, starting to turn around. "Give me a break, here! Better yet, let me give you one, right in the face!"

"Hand over the hookshot, and it's a deal!" Link slashed at him again, and dropped another bomb on the bones.

"I already told you, I swiped this baby fair and square!" Master Stalfos yelled, pulling himself back together. Once more, Link struck him down and bombed him. "Dammitall,_ fine!_ Time to stop holding back!" His right arm was already moving, bringing the shield forward to smash at Link, giving him time to raise the sword and bring it down. Or so it seemed, until he chose to jump over Link again instead. "As if! Like I'm going to risk my neck like that! See you, kiddo!"

"Hold it!" Link yelled, head spinning from the shield blow. Growling, he unsteadily gave chase, slower than before. By the time he made it out into the spiraling hall, Master Stalfos had vanished. Looking around, Link saw that the last door, at the bottom of the spiral hall, had been recently unlocked-there was still a small key in the lock. "Gotcha!" Running through it, he groaned as it slammed behind him. "Or not."

"Looking for me?" Sleel asked, amused. She and Morm, as usual, were sitting on a couch, although today they were both reading thin books. "I'm flattered, hero. I was starting to think you didn't like me."

"I don't." Link said bluntly. "I was actually doing you a favor, though. You've got a burglar. Mind letting me go finish running him down? I'll be back in just a few minutes, but I don't want him to get away."

"Ah, yes. The skeleton. He opened this door then ran the other way a few moments ago." Morm looked up, smirking. "I'm not sure whether he was intentionally trying to dupe you, or was simply surprised to see us in here. Either way, it seems he's ahead of you. To the point where you're asking your _enemies_ to cut you a break. Seriously, boy?"

"It was worth a shot." Link shook his head. "Figures you wouldn't make it easy for me. Let's make this fast, then, okay?"

"You really should have known better." Sleel told him smugly. "You steal everything you can get your hands on yourself whenever you come through. I'm actually rather amused at the thought of somebody else beating you to it. Don't you agree, dear brother?"

"Oh, absolutely, sweet sister." Morm said as they dropped the books and stood. "It's not like the skeleton is going anywhere. We can always hunt him down once we've rectified the current problem. Speaking of which, my turn to lead. I can spare the 'power' now."

Sand began to fall from the roof, a trickle at first and then a rush, covering both of the twins in heaps. As Link waited, used to this by now, the piles of sand remained inert for a moment before exploding outward, a pair of insect limbs emerging from each and waving around. The beasts that clambered free were like gigantic, armored spiders with only four legs in general shape. Above their fangs was a single, tightly closed eye each, the lid just as protected as the rest of their bodies.

"Gohmas." Link recognized the beasts. "Now _this_ is a blast from the past. Haven't seen these for a _long_ time."

"This begins to grow ridiculous." Morm snarled, moving forward as Sleel backed up. "What naturally occurring beasts _haven't_ you fought, brat?"

"Never seen a gleeok yet. Or a digdogger." Link replied coolly, sidestepping the beast's charge. "Always kind of wanted to. Maybe I'll find some after I'm out of here. Or maybe one of the rest of you will turn into one."

"I _do_ hope you're not honestly expecting me to answer that." Morm said, swiping at the direction of Link's voice. After that, the hero stayed silent, and he crashed around blindly as Sleel waited in the back of the room. Eventually, the huge arachnid opened its eye and glanced around, then spat a fireball as soon as it saw Link.

"Shouldn't have done that." Link smirked, dodging the attack even as he drew his new bow, fitted an arrow, and let it fly. A gohma's eye was its only weak point, but it was set far enough back in the carapace to make using a sword implausible. Fortunately, he had other options, and Morm stumbled back, screaming in pain. Link prepared another arrow, but before he could fire it, a second fireball hit him in the chest.

"Forget about me?" Sleel called mockingly from the ceiling, where she'd climbed up quickly. Scrambling over, she let go, and Link barely avoided being crushed. "My turn!" As Morm had, she began crashing around blindly after Link, while her brother moved back.

Link remained silent again, not falling for the bait. Eventually, she would have to open her eye, if she wanted any chance of actually hitting him. When she did, he was ready, firing an arrow. Sleel was prepared as well, however; she charged at him at the same time as she spat the fireball, taking the hit in stride and continuing her rush. Link tried dodging again, but was still slashed by her forelimbs, as his attention was elsewhere. Up on the ceiling, Morm was firing, and Link returned the favor, nailing him with another arrow.

"Damn you!" The Lord fell, and Link avoided _that_, though Sleel managed to wound him on the back, still pursuing him.

"Stay back, brother!" She told him. "I have-argh!" Her eye had remained open to chase him, and Link had taken the opportunity to fire once more. Before he could hit either of them a third time, though, their eyelids slammed shut, breaking the wooden shafts off.

_Wonder how those eyes still work at all with two arrowheads still in them._ Link thought absently, scrambling away from the lashing claws. Both of them were crashing around blindly now, no longer caring if they rammed each other. With all the noise, it was easier than ever to remain undetected as long as he didn't speak. Eventually, their eyes both popped open at once, and both launched fireballs and dived at Link. Unafraid, he fired twice more, one at each, and watched them freeze in place, then explode brightly.

"He's all yours now, sweet sister." Morm said as he faded away. "_Do_ enjoy yourself."

"Oh, I shall, dear brother." Sleel promised. "As for you, handsome man, you may return to playing with your new friend now. I'll be waiting for you when you're done." Her shadow drifted under the locked door in the back of the room as Link allowed the fairies left behind by them to heal him, then dashed back out into the corridor.

Fortunately, luck finally decided to smile on him. As soon as he'd returned to the main corridor, he saw Master Stalfos edging up the hall. The gargantuan skeleton saw him as well; yelping, he dived into the second door up on the side. Growling, Link chased him past several startled normal stalfos, both of them ignoring the other undead. Reaching yet another dead end, Master Stalfos jumped into the air immediately.

"Can't believe you found me! Cut it out!" Master Stalfos shouted angrily, coming down behind the surprised Link. "Just let me get away with the loot!"

"What part of 'I need that thing' do you not understand?" Link yelled back, just as ticked off, using the whirling blade strike to knock the skeleton down. Bombing him again, he charged at him as soon as he came back together, repeating the process. "How many times do I have to do this before you die, already?"

"Like I'd just tell you!" The huge skeleton ran for the door once more. Sighing irritably, Link followed him again. They returned to the main corridor once more, running up and out. Link was advancing, narrowing the gap slowly but surely; Master Stalfos seemed to be trying to make it to the exit, but he wasn't going to be able to get there before Link reached him. The big skeleton was aware of this as well. At the last door, he cursed and turned suddenly, widening the gap again while Link braked to go after him.

"You just keep going and going and going!" Master Stalfos complained, dashing down the basement stairs and hurdling the entire counterweight system in one go. "I can't outlast you forever, kid! Come on, give an old man some sympathy, huh?"

"I can't afford free sympathy in my line of work." Link told him, hopping across the weighted platforms and following him up into the dead-end room. "The hookshot, old man. Only way you're getting out of this."

"A likely story, and probably true! You know what? Fine!" Master Stalfos whirled around. "You asked for it, buddy! Let's do this for real, this time!" He swept the sword across sideways, and Link was forced to jump back. The huge skeleton leaped after him, already raising the sword to bring down on Link's head.

"Shit!" Link dived to the side, only to be smashed by the shield and sent flying. Wincing, he looked up to see Master Stalfos jumping for him again, sword still raised. _I underestimated this guy. When he actually puts some effort into it, he's bad news!_ Link threw his shield again, spinning the enemy's skull. Master Stalfos still struck out blindly, but he missed, and Link was able to close in and deliver a strike.

"Hope you're not counting on that one working again." Master Stalfos growled, pulling himself together after another bomb blast. His bones were charred and black by now, and most of them were visibly cracking. "If that's your last trick, you're deader than I am, kiddo. And take it from an expert, that's saying something."

In response, Link pitched a lit bomb into the enemy's ribs. _Boy, am I glad the Mad Batter gave me more of these, or else I'd be all out by now._ The explosive went off, and the skeletal warrior collapsed, vulnerable to one more.

"That does it!" As soon as he'd reformed, Master Stalfos leapt into the air away from Link, then again, and again. From one random spot in the room to another, he kept up the motion, dodging several more bombs. "It's over, kiddo!"

"Damn." Link drew his bow. _Last chance. If this doesn't work..._ As Master Stalfos suddenly came down on him, he fired straight at the giant's skull, knocking it around. The sword swing missed, and Link knocked him down and bombed him.

"You think..." Master Stalfos groaned, the first time he had spoken while scattered, as the bones lay there. "That'll stop me? C'mere... I'll bite your kneecaps!"

"Sure you will." Link sighed, watching the bones slowly crumble to ash, starting from the feet and going from there. "Look, just die, okay?"

"Die, kid? Why, that's the last thing I'll do!" The old skeleton chuckled darkly as his skull fell apart and was gone, along with shield and sword. All that remained was the hookshot, covered in ash and soot.

"Finally." Sighing, Link picked it up. A sharp metal spearhead was attached to a chain, leading into the wooden handle with a single button. "Time to test this baby out." Returning to the second door down from the top, he examined the deathtrap critically, then pointed the hookshot at the door across the room. Pressing the button launched the head of the device out, shooting across the room to lodge in the wooden doorframe. The chain retracted, pulling the handle across the room and Link along with it, past chasms and spike traps both to land safely on the other side.

Inside the room, more iron mask monsters stalked around, but Link was ready for them now. The hookshot snatched the armor from their faces, leaving them defenseless, and easily killed. Inside the pair of chests he pillaged there were another small key and the fragment of the dungeon's stone slab. "About time I found this." Returning to the room where he'd first found Master Stalfos, he read the message. "'Dive under where torchlights cross,' huh? Gotta refer to the only door I haven't tried yet."

The door exactly halfway up the main hall was locked, which was doubtless why Master Stalfos had never tried it. Opening it, Link found a flooded room, only ankle-deep. Mostly. In addition to the water tektites, the only thing that drew his eye were torches on all four walls, one for each. Finding where they crossed led Link to a hole in the floor. _Dammitall. _Sighing, he took a deep breath and dove under.

Fortunately, the underwater tunnel was short; he came up on the other side, gasping for air but still fine otherwise. Here, the water was only filling a tiny pool in an equally small room; before the pool was a chest, and that was all. Inside, as he'd hoped, was the horned key. "Good. Time to wind this one up, and get out of here." Swimming back, he shook himself dry as best he could, and walked back down to the bottom, opening the door where he'd fought the dungeon's mistress before.

"It took you long enough, didn't it?" Sleel remarked, now sitting in a chair, but still reading her book. "It isn't polite to keep a lady waiting, you know."

"Good thing for me you're not a lady." Link replied calmly. "So I'm fine. If I apologize for that, could we get this over with? I'd like to be out of here as soon as possible, if it's all the same to you. I'd say nothing personal, but I'd be lying."

"You're going to make me think you don't like me, if you keep talking like that." Sleel said, eyes dancing as she set the book down.

"How did you _ever_ guess?" Link said sarcastically. "Not that I really like _any_ of you people. But you and your brother particularly piss me off. Maybe it's because you have such a one-track mind. I have to ask: do you _ever_ think about _anything_ else?"

"Not very often." Sleel admitted readily. "Dear brother and I are more... primitive than the others. It's because we weren't originally supposed to be separate. There were only going to be seven of us, but then it turned out that we needed eight instead. So one more, last-minute split was made, and we became twins." She shrugged. "Although the others aren't _that_ much better. It's part of what we are. Our personalities have their limits, and we simply don't care about what's beyond them."

"Angish said something similar to me, back at his place." Link remembered aloud. "I still don't really know what you people _are_, though. You're not human, but you're not just monsters, either."

"For such a dullard, Angish _is_ surprisingly perceptive about the important things." Sleel's eyes flashed, and her teeth bared in a savage smile. "We are the Children of Nightmares, outsider. And if you wish to wake the Wind Fish, then as Angish says... we'll eat you alive!"

The room's temperature had already begun to drop; now, ice covered the floor, thick enough that the sand was completely obscured. Sleel stood in the center of the room; under her feet, the ice cracked, splintered, and finally burst, shards flying up and through her. Still smiling, she tumbled down into the dark hole that had appeared in the floor, a gory mess that left a streak of blood on one side of the pit. Link stepped back, away from it, and after a few moments, a long black appendage similar to Morm's tail emerged. Black spherical segments, carapace covered in a disgusting-looking slime, ended in a spiked ball.

_That's only a tail._ Link realized as it began thrashing around. _Where's the rest of her?_ It was instinct more than conscious thought that drove him to dive forward, not a moment too soon. The wall behind him burst out in shards of broken ice, and the jaws of the beast that lurked within snapped shut where Link had stood only a moment before. The mouth was large enough to nearly divide its head in half; a thick-lipped, many-fanged abyss reeking of fish. On its sides, two beady eyes stared maliciously at him.

"So close." Sleel hissed, her head disappearing back into the darkness behind the wall. "Your turn to come and get _me_, then!"

"Nice try." Link snapped, stepping back away from the hole. "What do you take me for, Angish?" Pain slammed through his side suddenly, and he fell to the floor. The monster's tail was thrashing around, and had slammed into him while his back was to the center of the room. Rolling under it, Link rose and dodged back as it reversed course, coming for him again. Unfortunately, that took him close to the walls again. The section closest to him burst, and Sleel's head lunged out at him once more.

"Run around as much as you like." She said smugly as Link jumped away. "There's nowhere you can go to escape me. Sooner or later, you're mine!"

_She's right. If I just run around, I've got no chance._ Link thought angrily, moving into a corner to dodge her tail. Her face disappeared; likely, he only had moments to think. _I've got to take control of that fight. Can't attack the tail-it's too heavily armored. Same with the face. But if she's so similar to Morm in this form as well, there'll be a weak point _some_where. How to get her out of there?_

"Too slow!" Sleel gloated, bursting out behind him, then snarling in frustration as Link flew away. He'd used his hookshot on the doorframe, and blasted through the air. Sadly, that was where his plan went wrong. The tail lunged up and smashed him as he flew over it, and he hit the door with more agony rushing through him.

_How did it do that?_ Link's mind raced. _For it to reach that high, that quickly..._ He stared at the tail more closely. It wasn't actually touching the ground, but hovering a few feet off of it. _Of course. It didn't hit my _legs_. Her entire body must be much more lightweight than it looks. Don't know _how_, but I can use it._ When the tail came around, he moved into another corner to avoid it, then waited there for several moments before running away.

"Playing hard to get?" Sleel guessed as she crashed through one of the corner walls, behind where he'd been standing. "Well, I can-_yah!_" Her voice cut off in pain as Link whirled and activated the hookshot. The device's head shot out, sunk into the inside of the monster's mouth, and then retracted. For a moment, Link thought he had made a fatal mistake, but then Sleel was pulled out of the wall towards him. The spear came loose, and Link ran around her head, sword already out. As he'd hoped, the first link in her body behind the head was soft, pale and unarmored.

"You wretch!" Sleel choked out, sliding slowly towards the central pit as Link slashed at her weak point. "I'll-grr-rip you-erk-to shreds!"

Link kept hacking as long as he could before the weak point followed her head into the pit. It was almost worth being smashed by her lashing tail again as it followed the rest of her in, then began swinging once more. Moving into a corner again, he took a moment to examine his wounds. None of them were gaping, but he was still heavily bruised, and more than a few ribs felt cracked. _I won't die from bleeding, but if I get slammed much more, these'll break, badly. On the plus side, I did a _lot_ to her just as quickly. Looks like this one's going to be short and sour._

When Sleel's head popped out of the wall, it was actually on the other side of the room. Link blinked, then shrugged and launched his hookshot. To his surprise, when he pulled the eel out, her tail continued thrashing around. The decoy flopped limply on the floor, then began to glow. Link dived away, but the explosion still scorched his back and slammed him to the floor. Ignoring her mocking laughter, he groaned and rolled away from the still-thrashing tail.

"Did you think it would be that simple?" Sleel's voice echoed through the room. "I may not be a genius like Sliyes and Greeper, but I have more than a few tricks!"

_Ignore her._ Link told himself, moving to one of the corners she hadn't used yet and standing a few feet away from the wall, barely out of the tail's range. _Wait until she comes here._ Several more times, faces emerged from other positions. Link pretended to fire his hookshot at them, but missed intentionally every time.

"Almost done, are we?" Sleel guessed. "How long should I keep you waiting before I finish this, then?" A moment later, she burst from the wall nearest Link. "How about _now?_"

"Sounds good." Link smiled grimly, using his pegasus boots to run _backward_, away from her even as he aimed and fired the hookshot. He only made it a short way before tripping and crashing, but momentum still carried him even then, as the device pulled Sleel out once more. Getting back up, he attacked her weak point once more, sword ripping through the soft flesh easily.

"Damn you!" Sleel screamed, lunging for the central pit again. "You're dead on your feet! I'll smash you to hash before I eat you!"

"Sorry." Link ran with her, hacking at the same wound. "Game's over, lady." One final, massive swing finished the job, and Sleel's head flew away, separated from the rest of her body. As it soared through the air, both it and the body began losing their color and hardening, crystallizing into pale white delicacy. The glass-like surface crept over every inch of her body, and then, in one second, it all shattered into cold mist, leaving nothing else behind but a woman's shadow.

"I don't believe this." She said, starting to laugh hysterically. "This is ridiculous! I can't believe it's happening at all!"

"Slime Eel." Link said, ignoring her. "That's your name, isn't it? Slime Eel. Not too original, Slime Eel. Sorry if I'm being rude, Slime Eel. I really just want to get this over and done with, Slime Eel.."

"You think it's that simple? Oh, this is just _too_ rich!" Sleel continued to giggle, despite the obvious pain in her voice. "Just kill us all, wake the Wind Fish, and be on your way? How _could_ we keep losing to such a simpleton?"

"That's the idea, Slime Eel." Link agreed calmly. "If you've got something to say, then say it, Slime Eel. Might want to hurry up with it, Slime Eel."

"So naive." Sleel's voice was still condescending, despite her mania. "Despite everything we tell you, you still have no idea just what kind of island this is. Such a tragedy, such a comedy! It's insane! I love it!" She began to disappear, still laughing madly.

"Laugh it up, Slime Eel." Link said, turning away. "I know your name and your nature, Slime Eel. Be gone from this place." Walking onward, he entered the back room and went around the fountain of snow. The instrument there was one he didn't recognize; it looked like a cross between a piano and a xylophone, made of wooden keys on a metal frame, with two rounded mallets. Link stared at it for a moment, then read the nameplate. "The Wind Marimba."

When the white light cleared, and he found himself back in Martha's Bay, he stowed it in his pack, then dived into the water. Sunset had arrived, and he had to be back in Animal Village soon if he wanted to get a full night's sleep for another busy day.

"Three left. And none of them are going to be easy."

* * *

"Don't get me wrong, Gie." Fade remarked, pouring ale for both of them. "You know I always like seeing you around here. And I'm honestly grateful for cluing me in on what Greeper's up to. I owe you for that." He glanced over at the other guest and poured a third mug. "But did you _have_ to bring _Angish_ along too?"

"It's the only way to keep the others from figuring out I came here to tattle." Gie shrugged, watching Angish plow through the massive amounts of food Fade's servants had brought him. "_Somebody's_ got to keep an eye on him until we throw him at Link again, so I volunteered. They'll figure that's keeping me busy."

"Again?" Fade raised an eyebrow. "He's getting tossed out a lot, isn't he? He going to have enough 'power' if he loses?"

"That's the nice thing about Angish." Gie leaned back, taking the mug of ale. "I don't know if it's because he eats so much or what, but he recovers 'power' twice as fast as the rest of us. By tomorrow night, he'll be back up to one hundred percent."

"Really? Huh." Fade blinked. "Guess that's what I get for staying out of things. Forgetting about stuff like that." He stretched. "Anyways, back to business. This is getting completely out of control. Greeper's hare-brained plot will just make things worse."

"I'd thought we could at least count on him to keep stable, but I guess not." Gie grimaced. "Hoad's only in it to have fun, no matter what it costs him-or us. Sliyes is hiding in the library, and Angish needs adult supervision. Morm and Sleel aren't flaking out, but they can't come up with anything by themselves."

"Which leaves _us_ to handle things. You gotta be kidding me." Fade grimaced, then shook his head. "All right then, fine. No helping it." Sitting up straight, he rang the bell, a glint coming into his eyes. "From now on, _I'm_ doing this for real."

"Now you're talking like the old Fade." Gie smiled wickedly. "Back when even Greeper and Hoad backed down to you. I'm in, if you'll have me. Just tell me what to do."

"I appreciate that, kiddo." Fade grinned, taking a swig of his beer. "Just like I appreciate you telling me about Marin. I'll be honest, I was kind of surprised that you did that. I wouldn't have thought that you'd get how much she means to me."

"She's yours, right?" Gie shrugged. "I get that. If one of the others tried to take _my_ things, I'd be angry too. That's what it is, right?"

"Something like that." Fade said after a moment. "Ah, here we go. 'Scuse me." A zora had entered the room. "Hey, Jed. Your brother Zed lives in Animal Village, right? Why don't you go on down there and see him. And while you're there, talk to a human girl who should be there right now. Name's Marin. Ask her nicely to come pay me a visit, okay?"

"Got it, boss." The zora smiled nastily. "One human girl? I'll haul her back here, easy as pie." He turned to go, then yelped as the floor opened up below him, a deep hole suddenly appearing out of nowhere.

"I don't think you heard me correctly." Fade stood and walked over to the hole, where the zora was hanging on to the edge by his fingers, whimpering. "I said to _ask her nicely._ That's because Marin is my _friend_, Jed. If you, or anybody else here, lays one finger on her..." His foot slammed down on one of the zora's hands, and the fishman's scream mixed with the sounds of his bones shattering. "You will learn, very quickly, the definition of the word, 'expendable,' and who it applies to. Crystal?"

"Clear, boss!" The zora yelped, then screamed as Fade dug his heel in further. "I'll take a spear for her if I have to, I swear it!"

"Good boy. See, Gie? They _can_ be taught." Reaching down, he patted the zora's cheek. "Now get going, huh? You've got a bit of a walk ahead of you." Grabbing the zora's other arm, he hauled him out, flipped him overhead and slammed him to the floor. Turning away, he walked back towards Gie and Angish, a faint smile on his face.

"Now then. Let's talk about how we're going to save this island."


	10. Chapter 9: Face The Truth

_**Chapter 9: Face The Truth**_

_They say it right they say it well_

_But they think this saves us from our hell _

As Link had said, it took a truly spectacular amount of noise to awaken him from his sleep. Growing up with Uncle Al's snoring nearby had done that, and neither Tarin's, Richard's or Chef Bear's could match up. The slowly repeated, earth-shaking thuds that he heard in the middle of the night, though, did the trick. Muttering about potatoes, he sat up in bed, noticing other members of the village coming out of their houses as well.

"Whoever's making that racket had better fill out their will!" Chef Bear roared from the next room over a moment later.

"This probably isn't a good sign." Link guessed, sighing and dressing before leaving the room. He met up with Chef Bear, clad in honeycomb-patterned pajamas and a nightrobe, on the stairs. Against all logic, his muzzle was covered in what looked like stubble. "I'm guessing this hasn't happened before."

"If it had, I'd have stopped it, _hard_," Chef Bear growled, leading the way outside. "All right, settle down, all of you! We'll figure out what's happening!"

"Sounds like it's coming from the west," Link said, looking at the village gate. "And getting closer... hoo boy." The source of the noise was now visible, as he grew close enough to them to be seen by the lights at the gate. As always, in low visibility, Angish seemed even huger and more frightening than normal, causing the colossal thudding sounds with his footsteps as he approached.

"The Link," The large Lord said. "You're here. I'm here. We meet again, if you're here and I'm here. That's good."

"I'd argue about it being good, but then we'd be here all night." Link glanced around at the shocked villagers. "Go on back inside, people. I've got this. It's not any of your business."

"You came out to meet me," Angish said, pouting. "I wanted to have to smash the houses to find out which one you were in. That would be fun."

"Too bad for you." Link shook his head. "Did the others just throw you at me now to keep me from getting bored, or what?"

"Yes."  
"Great." He made a face. "All right then. Can we get it over with, already? I'd like to get a good night's sleep once we're done here."

"That's funny," Angish chuckled. "Sleep. Okay, you can sleep. Sleep forever." He stomped the ground, hard, and a waterspout erupted between them, launching something high into the air. As it subsided, the projectile came down on Angish, and he snatched it out of the air. Unsurprisingly, it was a crude stone club, massive and heavy. Even so, the huge Lord easily hefted it in one hand, lightly smacking his other palm with it. "Naptime, the Link. Naptime forever."

"Whatever." Link stepped back as Angish advanced. _Not going near _that_ if I can help it._ Drawing his bow, he let several arrows fly.

"Nice try." Angish swatted them out of the air. As with the others, his inhuman strength allowed him to wield the club like a baton. "That isn't working at all."

"Thanks for pointing out the obvious." Link fired several more times before giving up and trying bombs instead, pitching them at the Lord's feet.

"You're welcome." Angish whacked them away, sending them flying into the sky. They exploded as they came down on the roofs in the village, prompting cries of distress from the inhabitants.

"What are you _doing?_" Chef Bear roared from the sidelines. "Could you try to wreck the joint a little less?"

"Sorry," Link and Angish both said simultaneously, then paused, blinking at each other. Link was the first to move again, darting forward, then leaping back as Angish's club slammed down into the ground. He repeated the move, dodging once more, leading the Lord away from Animal Village little by little. _Close combat would be suicide. Shield would be useless against that thing. Good thing he's got a short temper._

"Get back here," Angish growled, missing again and again. "Get back here so I can smash you!" After several more whiffs, he roared in anger and charged Link, club swinging wildly.

"Sure. Here you go." Link charged as well, pegasus boots putting out all the speed they could muster, and blasted past Angish. As soon as he was behind the large Lord, he skidded to a halt and slashed at his enemy's back with the whirling blade strike. It knocked him forward, still bellowing, so Link added several more slashes; the big man's back was like a tree trunk. This, unfortunately, turned out to be a mistake.

"Got you!" Angish shouted, club lashing out without looking, rising up to smash through Link's sword into his chest. The blade dampened some of the force of the blow, but Link still flew back, actually launched into the air. Landing on his rump, he winced and rose to his feet as Angish did the same. They stared each other down once more before Link began moving again, repeating the same goading footwork as before. Once more, it wasn't long before Angish lost his temper and charged, bellowing like a rogue bull. "I'll crush you!"

"I hope you realize just how pointless actual banter with you would be, with lines like that," Link replied, charging past him and slamming him down once more. This time, though, Angish's club found him as he did so, and he skidded across the ground, face-first. Groaning, he rolled back to his feet and waited for Angish to rise as well. _Not taking any more risks._

"Die!" Angish didn't wait for Link to fake him out this time, charging immediately. Link repeated his own actions as well, but was able to avoid being smashed this time; Angish's flailing missed him entirely, and he brought the Lord down. As soon as Angish had toppled, he pulled a bomb and lit it, then rammed it into the enemy's gaping back wound with all the strength in his arms before fleeing.

"What did you do?" Angish shouted, trying to reach around. The answer came a moment later, as the bomb went off. Yelling in agony, he tried to rise, but his knees gave out, and he went down for the last time, body melting into darkness.

"Well, big guy?" Link was breathing heavily, battered and bruised, but still managed to act like nothing was wrong. "Feel like another round?"

"Can't," Angish said sullenly. "Fade said only to fight you once. Said if I lost, I had to come back."

"_Fade_ sent you out, huh?" Link's eyes narrowed. That was unexpected. "Thought he was the black sheep of the family."

"We're not sheep at all," Angish protested. "They're wooly. And cute. I'm not cute." He seemed to think about this for a moment. "Guess Gie is."

Link tried several times to come up with an appropriate response to that, but failed. Eventually, he just turned on his heel and walked back towards Animal Village. "Fine. If you're done, I'm going back to sleep. Probably see you again soon."

"Okay," Angish sounded far too cheerful. "See you soon, the Link. Next time, let me crush you, okay?"

"How the hell do I find that guy scary?" Link asked himself as he returned to Chef Bear's house. The bruin watched him approach without a word. "Sorry about that. Didn't think they'd start something here so soon. I'll move on tomor-"

"Try it, and _I'll_ break your leg so you can't, son," Chef Bear growled. "I said I'd let you stay here for a few days, and I'm gonna. Don't give me no lip about endangering anybody here, either. You fought off that big palooka just fine to keep him from hurtin' anybody here. I'm not the kind of guy to just let that go. Now get some sleep. I sure am." Without waiting for a response, he led the way inside and upstairs.

"Heh," Link chuckled a little, but didn't press the issue. Something was nagging at the back of his mind about the way things had happened, but he couldn't put his finger on it. Shrugging, he followed Chef Bear, resolving to figure it out in the morning.

* * *

When the next morning dawned, Link rose, despite feeling grumpy and tired from the rude interruption. At least he wasn't alone; Chef Bear seemed even more cranky than usual as he set up the usual communal breakfast. Link took his seat and his coffee, and let the caffeine work its magic on him for several minutes before glancing over towards where Marin had been seated for every meal so far. "Sorry I'm not being very talkative today."

"No worries, young man!" Grandma Ulrira replied cheerfully, shocking him more than a little. "Certainly was a lively night, wasn't it?" She smirked, seeing his reaction. "Expecting somebody else to be sitting here, were you?"  
"Just a little," Link admitted, chuckling lightly. "Okay, you got me. Didn't know you were in town."

"Came over late last night," Grandma explained. "Do the cleaning for folks here that can't themselves once a month. Like a bunch of little kids, half of 'em, really. Good thing Da Chief's here to keep 'em in line."

"That's _Da Chef_, you crazy old buzzard!" Chef Bear replied from down the table without even looking. "And if you try and infest my house with doilies again, I'll _burn_ them this time!"

"Fine! I'll improve your interior design _another_ way!" Grandma called back.

"Weren't there any monsters around?" Link asked, spreading butter on his toast.

"Of course there were." Grandma smirked. "The day I can't beat the snot out of some cheeky octorocks and moblins is the day I give up the ghost. Only problem is, I wound up breaking my broom on the last one. Must have had a harder skull than normal." She shook her head in disgust. "I'll have to borrow one from somebody around here."

"You're not going to believe this, but I actually picked one up recently that I'm not using," Link said with a straight face, somehow. "Want it?"

"As long as you let me pay you with something equally improbable," Grandma retorted, digging around in her pocket. "Here we go. Found this fishhook the other day."

"Sounds fair." Link checked to see that Chef Bear wasn't looking before taking the broom out of his pack and passing it under the table. "Who're you staying with, then?"

"Lady Christine, as always." Grandma took the broom and began examining it critically. "We usually have a lot to chat about."

"Huh?" Link blinked. "But I thought she only had one... spare... bed...." He began frantically looking around. To his dismay, Marin was nowhere to be found. "Hey, was Marin there when you arrived?"

"At Lady Christine's?" Grandma frowned. "No, she said she'd go stay with someone else when I showed up. Me and Christine being old friends, and all... but she didn't say where." She raised her voice. "Hey! Anyone seen Marin since last night?"

"Shit, shit, _shit,_" Link growled, eyes casting around once more, then locking on one particular inhabitant of the village. "That zora. Is he a regular?"

"Who, Zed?" Grandma glanced over. "Yeah, he's lived here for ages. Only one of them on the island who's civilized. His brother Jed, now, he's a bad sort. Works for Lord Fade. Had to bite my tongue when I found out he was vistin' Zed yesterday..." Her voice trailed off. "And he isn't here any more, by the looks of it."

"Hey, Zed," Chef Bear said ominously, apparently having reached the same conclusion. "Jed didn't feel like joinin' us?"

"He said he wasn't gonna stay long, Chef Bear," Zed answered nervously. "Left last night. I thought something might have been up, but he wouldn't tell me anything about it."

"Easy," Grandma said softly. "Zed doesn't have much backbone, but he's a good fella. He's telling the truth. Roughing him up won't get you anywhere, and Chef Bear won't stand for it. Zed's still one of his boys."

"I know," Link assured her. "I wasn't going to." The white-knuckled grip he had on the table's edge, however, betrayed his true emotion. "First Angish says Fade sent him out, now this. Damn. I was hoping that guy would stay out of this until he was the last one left." He closed his eyes. "I hate to ask, but what's his relationship to Marin?"

"Honestly?" Grandma asked after a moment. "Before you came around, he had to be her best friend on this old island. He's the most likable of the Lords and Ladies, not that that's saying much. Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm thinking that if she's with Fade, she went voluntarily. I just can't see him forcing her on anything like that."

"Hrm." Link thought back on their meeting. _He _seemed_ like he wouldn't, yeah. But..._ Shaking his head, he stood up. "Even so, I have to do something about this. I'd have had to deal with Fade at the end anyways. This just means rearranging the order a little."

"Be careful," Grandma said softly. "I really don't know what Marin will do."

"Neither do I," Link admitted. "I just hope it's not the worst-case scenario." Nodding at Chef Bear, who had been berating Zed further, he left the village and headed north, along the river, towards where he knew Fade's home was. About a mile north, he found it. On the northern bank, a massive, intricately designed building somewhat like a temple rested. Unfortunately, even from the other side of the river, Link could see that it was locked up tight.

"Shit," The swordsman muttered to himself. "I was afraid of this. No clues on where Fade would stash his key whatsoever. Where's that owl when I need him?" Looking around, he saw an old man in a rowboat upriver hailing him. "Not quite who I had in mind, but maybe I'll get lucky." Waving back, he ran over.

"What are you doin' in this part of the island, buddy?" The fisherman, a gruff but good-natured sort named Mickey, greeted him. Link had met him back in Mabe. "You didn't ride that daft river rapids raft, did you?"

"Hell no," Link assured him. "I was looking for Marin around here, actually. Heard she'd gone up to see Fade, but..." He indicated the Lord's home.

"Yeah, the North Face Shrine's generally pretty well locked up." Mickey stroked his beard. "Now that you mention it, though, just passed by the _South_ Face Shrine a few minutes ago, and thought I heard a young girl's voice coming from there. Figured I was hearin' things, but if Marin's around here, could've been her."

"There's _two_ Face Shrines?" Link said incredulously. "This guy needs _two_ homes?"

"Nah, Lord Fade only lives in the north one." Mickey explained. "They've just both been called the Face Shrine long as I can remember. Not really sure why, but this island's like that sometimes." He made a face. "Hope you have more luck than I'm havin' today, down there. Not even noon, and I'm already through all the hooks I brought out here with me."

"Luck's on your side, actually." Link shook his head, beginning to be amused despite himself at the coincidences. "Grandma Ulrira just gave me this a little while ago. Here, you'll put it to better use than I would." He tossed the fishhook to Mickey, who caught it out of the air deftly.

"Much obliged, fella," Mickey chuckled, tying it on. "Tell you what, I'll let ya have whatever I catch first with this one as thanks!" Almost as soon as he had tossed it into the water, he frowned, obviously detecting a telltale tug on his line. "Speak of the devil! Feels like a big one, even!" When he pulled it up, though, there was no fish attached. Instead, a pearl necklace was caught on the hook.. "Yowzers!"

"Now _that's_ a catch," Link joked. "You sure you want to hand that over?"

"A deal's a deal." Mickey tossed it to Link. "Ain't like I got a wife myself. Go on, you said you were lookin' for Marin, right? That there's what I call fate, fella!" He winked.

"There's a thought," Link lied with a laugh, pocketing the necklace. Despite certain instincts, he had no intention of giving it to her, but it was worth hanging on to anyways. "South Face Shrine's east of here?"

"Yup. East, then south, just like the name says," Mickey said, dropping his line in the river again. "Can't miss it. Tell Marin hi for me if it was her down there, 'kay?"

"Can do," Link agreed. The riverbank was rocky and swarming with tektites, but he made his way east all the same, locating a narrow canyon. As he walked towards it, the owl flew down, perching on one side of the cliffs above.

"I see that the time has come for you to visit this place," The bird said quietly, sounding strangely reserved. "You will learn much there, young hero, but you may regret what you learn. I will speak with you again when you leave." Without waiting for a response, he flew away again.

"Well," Link commented to nobody in particular. "That's ominous." After a moment, he continued into the canyon. Inside was a surprise; an entirely different style than the rest of the Island. Everything was white, from the sand underfoot to the marble pillars lining the winding tile path to the statues of armored soldiers between the pillars. It was all very formal, almost religious, and that unnerved Link, coming from Koholint.

"What is this place?" He murmured as he walked down the path. The sound of grinding stone made him turn back around, eyes narrowing. He was too late; a stone hand clamped onto his wrist, and he was barely able to ward off the following attack with his shield. "Thought those looked familiar. Armos. That's just what my day needed." One of the statues he had passed had come to life, sword swinging mechanically as the eyes inside the bull-horned helmet glowed red.

Growling, he struggled to escape from the statue's grip while protecting himself from its sword, thanking the Goddesses that it was too stupid to actually break his wrist. Eventually, with severely chafed skin, he was able to pull his hand free, but not without a pair of light slashes along his right arm and left side that had gotten past his shield. Neither was serious, but both were irritating, and he took a certain savage delight in running away and dropping a bomb behind him. The brainless automation simply walked over it, and was blown to bits.

Of course, the armos wasn't the only one of its kind. Not all of the statues were living, but more than half came to life as soon as Link passed by, with violent intent. Link's sword would only be marginally effective, but previous experience had taught him the armos' somewhat strange weakness. A single arrow, despite only being wood, caused the living statues to crumble into sand and dust upon impact. One kill at a time, Link made his way to the end of the canyon.

The building did indeed look a great deal like the North Face Shrine; Link could see why they were named similarly, in addition to geographical proximity. This building, however, held no statues out front or bars in the entrance. It was simply a solemn edifice built on a rise, looking down upon the canyon. Climbing the stairs to it, Link fought the urge to sheath his sword; just because it looked vaguely religious didn't mean there were no threats.

The first room was a fairly standard foyer; more statues, thankfully not living this time, and torches lined the walls. After a moment of thought, Link chanced speaking. "Marin? Are you here?" There was no response, and so he continued forward into the next room. "Marin?"

"Sorry! Wrong!" Gie's voice shouted gleefully as the door slammed behind him, trapping him inside the second room. It was wide but empty, a marble expanse void of anything save Link and his opponent. The Lady's voice came from a gargantuan armos, twelve feet tall and just as wide. The massive armored statue would have been grotesquely obese were it human, but as it was, it simply looked terrifying. The eyes in the horned helmet were pitch-black. Rumbling, it began moving in an odd hopping gait, bearing down on Link.

"Oh, this day just keeps getting better," Link spat, drawing his bow and launching an arrow as he scrambled to the right. "An armos _knight_. Perfect."

"Isn't it great?" Gie laughed, chasing him heedlessly. The arrows would still do far greater damage to the statue than they should, but more than one shot would be needed to bring the giant version down. What was worse, she was actually moving the shield on its arm, which normal armos didn't have the brains to do. The arrows simply bounced off of that, and she continued after Link. "I'm not much for possessing living things-it's kind of gross, you know? Especially if they're boys. But this is a different story!"

"Points for inventiveness, then," Link admitted, thinking quickly. _Hope it'll still act like any other armos knight._ Turning, he faked trying to sidestep around Gie. "And for coming back out for a rematch. I was starting to think you were scared."

"That's Sliyes," Gie said scornfully, leaping into the air above Link. "I just didn't care, that's all. Heads up!"

"Right." Link dashed behind her, then jumped with the roc's feather as she landed, shaking the earth. The shockwave would have stunned him if he'd been on the ground, but as it was, he was able to fire several arrows as she turned towards him, all aimed at the arm holding the shield. Each took massive chunks out of it, but the arm remained intact until she could deflect them again. _Hm. Turns slow. Bingo._ He ran away, getting some distance again, then made a left turn and ran straight from there. "So what changed your mind?"

"Fade's plan, that's what," Gie explained. "I'll tell you a bit more about that, _if_ you beat me." As he'd hoped, the statue's turning remained sluggish, and he was able to hit the arm again. Another couple of turns, and arrows fired, caused the shield arm to break off entirely. "Gah! Get back here! I'll show you!"

"I think I'll pass on that offer, thanks," Link said dryly. From that point, the fight was simple. He only had to make sure to keep away from the armos knight; its hopping pace wasn't particularly fast, and it had no ranged weapons. All Gie could do was try to surprise him with earth-shaking stomps, but he remained wary, and leaped into the air every time. More arrows aimed at the helmet eventually shattered it, but to Link's surprise, the statue kept coming even after that. Shrugging, he kept firing into the empty wreckage where it had been.

Finally, the statue fell apart into rubble and gravel. Muttering curses under her breath, Gie's shadow appeared from out of the rocks and regarded Link. "Oh well. It was worth a shot. You're here looking for the key to Fade's place, right? In there." She indicated the door to the shrine's third room. "You'll need to bring a torch from here to see by, though. We don't keep any in there."

"You're being awful helpful all of a sudden," Link commented suspiciously. "I'm waiting for the catch."

"You know, this place isn't actually named the South Face Shrine," Gie said, seeming to ignore him. "The only Face Shrine is north of here. This place is the _Fish_ Shrine, but it sounds so much like Fade's home, the people here just started calling it that too. Go on in and get the key, hero. You won't be able to get to Fade without it. And have a look around while you're in there. I'm sure you'll _love_ what you see." Laughing mockingly, she faded away and was gone.

"Oh, that doesn't sound suspicious at _all_," Link muttered. All the same, he did as she'd said and took a torch, then walked into the third, dark room. As she'd said, he needed the key, despite his worries. _Fish Shrine. Why does that actually sound bad, instead of making me think of lunch?_ By the torchlight, he saw that there was a hole in the floor, much like the fountains in the Lords' and Ladies' homes, but dried up. Now even more worried, he found the altar behind it quickly. A key with a round, smiling face atop it rested there.

As he approached, Link saw what was _behind_ the altar. The entire rear wall was covered with fantastic, intricate murals in every color imaginable. The entire thing seemed carved on a single block of stone that somehow shifted in hue every few inches. It gave Link the chills just by looking at it, without even trying to understand what it meant. He was tempted to just take the key and go, and for several long moments, he actually considered it. Though he didn't think it was a threat, every instinct in his body still told him that if he read the mural, it would be an action he would sorely regret.

In the end, though, Link was not a man to back down easily. Steeling himself, he scanned the mural, looking for the best point to begin. His eyes fell upon the upper right corner, and locked there, on what looked to be a fish, or possibly a whale, being borne on what appeared to be gusts of wind. "Of course. The _Wind Fish Shrine_. Is this going to tell me what the Wind Fish actually is?" He paused, then raised the torch to look harder. In the eye of the fish, an owl in flight was visible.

"The Wind Fish, in name only, for it is neither..." Link read underneath the image. "The owl, in memory alone, for neither is it?" That was more confusing than he was prepared to deal with. After a moment, he continued, to the left. The next image was somewhat similar, but the owl in the fish's eye had been replaced by a black, tentacled mass with a single eye of its own at the center. Its tendrils seemed to be slowly creeping through the entire fish. "The Nightmare from the world that never was, born of a reflection of reality, reflecting its own reality anew."

The next image was telling. The 'Nightmare' was there alone now, looking like it was breaking apart, forming eight other shapes. Human shapes. Link's eyes narrowed. "The Nightmare could not stand to be alone, so it was no longer a lone nightmare. One became eight, but eight were still one." He paused for a moment to think. "Okay. So the Lords and Ladies were all one... thing... that possessed this Wind Fish, to create Koholint, and split apart to create them." He kept reading, but what he found next chilled him.

The Wind Fish's eye was closed in the next image, but behind the eye, in a bubble Link guessed was meant to be its mind, an island now sat. "The Island of Koholint is but a dream. Human, monster, sea, sky, a scene on the lid of a sleeper's eye..." He kept looking, slowly becoming more horrified, but unable to stop. The fifth image showed Koholint alone, with human shapes falling towards it and gathering upon it. His mind like ice, Link read the inscription. "To live is to die, to die is to sleep, to sleep is to dream. But what dreams may come within that sleep between life and death?"

_"What if I told you that waking up the Wind Fish would kill everybody on this island?" _

_"When the Wind Fish wakes, the captivity of all under the Children of Nightmares will be released. But fear not; no lives shall be ended that were not already." _

Link's consciousness screamed at him to stop reading, but he could not, any more than he could stop breathing. His eyes kept moving, on to the seventh image, which showed a single man falling towards Koholint now. One with the symbol of the Triforce next to him. "The Wind Fish slumbers long, the hero's life gone. Music, the fish stirs in the egg, you are there." The eighth image showed, deep inside Koholint, the man with the Triforce stabbing the Nightmare with a sword, apparently killing it. "Sea bears foam. Sleep bears dream. Both end with a crash."

The last, ninth image was one his eyes were locked on for what seemed like forever. The Wind Fish's eye was open again, and in its mind, Koholint was breaking apart. "Awaken the dreamer, and Koholint will vanish like a bubble on a needle. Slay the Nightmare, and the door between life and death will open once more for those captive inside it. Cast-away hero, know the truth..." He said the last words silently, unable to actually vocalize them. "Of the dreams of the dead."

Link never remembered leaving the Fish Shrine. His mind didn't register walking out, slowly and numbly, and then sitting on the top of the hill, overlooking the white canyon below. It was only when he heard the fluttering of wings that his thoughts began to move again, and he turned to glare at the owl, perched next to him like a drinking buddy.

"I tried to warn you, lad," The owl said after a moment. "To prepare you for what was inside there. It was inevitable that you would see it eventually."

"Who are you?" Link asked quietly. "You've been manipulating me too. Just like them. Even better than them, because I thought you were on my side."

"I am," The owl assured him. "Who am I, hoo? I am nothing more than a reflection of the Wind Fish's desire, taking the form that he knew would resonate most clearly with memories of your past adventures. You seek to escape this Island. I have been guiding you on that path, ever since you arrived. Is that not true?"

"So why didn't you _tell_ me?" Link shouted suddenly. "If I knew what it would _do_... what that would _cost_..." He buried his head in his hands.

"You would not have wanted to do so?" The owl asked after a moment.

"I don't know," He muttered. "I don't know if I can do this. If I get rid of the only thing keeping everybody here alive, it's almost like I killed them myself. Marin, and Tarin, and Richard, and Chef Bear..." He raised his head to stare at the owl. "There are _children_ here. How am I supposed to be able to live with that?"

"I have no answer for you there, young man," The owl replied, lowering its own gaze. "All I can tell you is to do what you believe in. Trust your feelings, and some day, you will know what to do. Keep moving forward, and find the path you must walk. For good or for ill, there is no shame in following your beliefs."

"You know, I used to believe that," Link admitted bitterly, raising his hands. One wrist still held Hoad's brand, the smiling flame burned black. The other was blank at the moment, the mark of the Triforce hiding itself. "The Triforce of Courage. Meant I was brave enough to always do that, no matter what happened to me. No matter how hard it would get, I was never afraid to do _something_ about it. I never even considered the possibility of something coming up that I wouldn't _want_ to fight back against." He chuckled. "Guess it was only a matter of time."

"Do not doubt yourself," The owl said, a hint of sternness in his voice. "Doubt everything else, if you must, but never yourself. Your own beliefs are the only thing you know to be real, here on this island of lies. Think well on your future actions, lad. I will see you again."

Link watched him fly away, and said nothing more. He simply continued staring at the sky for the rest of that day, trying to piece his thoughts together, and failing miserably. Only when the sky began to turn sunset orange did he get back on his feet, and begin trudging back towards Animal Village like there was a gallows noose waiting for him. He didn't register any combat on the way back, simply slicing through any monsters in his way like he was cutting meat for dinner. When he reached his destination, he only waved weakly at any greetings, making straight for Chef Bear's home.

"Son, you look like you just got on the wrong end of a cucco with a catapult," The bruin remarked as soon as he saw Link. "Missed dinner, too. Normally I say that means you go hungry, but I think I'll make an exception, considering. Sit down." He crossed to his kitchen and began throwing together a sandwich.

"I'm fine," Link muttered, sitting at the table anyways.

"No, you're not," Chef Bear said firmly. "I don't know what happened out there today, and I'm guessing you're not gonna want to tell me. But whatever it was, starving yourself's not gonna make it any better." Slapping the sandwich on a plate, he handed it to Link along with a glass of milk. "Here. I'm going to bed." Turning, he started to head upstairs, then paused. "Look, son. Whatever it is, it'll pass. Nothing lasts forever."

Link flinched visibly at that, but he didn't think Chef Bear saw it. He ate the sandwich mechanically, then followed his host upstairs. Even after getting into the spare bed, though, his body refused to let him drop off to sleep. He simply lay there, staring at the ceiling all night, unable to sleep or think or do anything else.

He couldn't do anything else. There was nothing he could do at all.

* * *

"Lord Fade," The stalfos at the door said, holding a spear to Marin's back. "Your prisoner has arrived."

"Hi, Fade," Marin greeted him flatly, inclining her head towards the skeleton. "Mind doing something about this?"

"Marin! How are you doing?" Fade rose from his couch and crossed the room to join them, hugging Marin. "Been a while!" Releasing her, he turned to the stalfos and punched its head down through its ribs. "She's not a _prisoner_, dammit! Will you people _stop _that? The word is _guest!_ As in _friend!_ Din, I hate having nothing but monsters for servants." Kicking the bones a few times for good measure, he shook his head in disgust, leading Marin back to the couch. "Everybody else doing okay? Heard your dad had a couple accidents. Something about bees?"

"Bees, and magic mushrooms again," Marin sighed, taking a seat. "You'd think he'd learn by now. He'll recover. How about your family?"

"Oh, you know how they are," Fade said, grimacing. "They never change, despite my best efforts."

"Yes, I do know," Marin replied, looking him firmly in the eye. "And I'm not stupid, Fade. Why, all of a sudden, so you insist that I visit now?"

Fade didn't respond to that for several moments. Standing up again, he walked over to look at a painting on the wall. Only when his back was to her did he speak. "I've been to see _him_. He's a lot like... me, actually. Almost like looking in a mirror, but not quite. Dunno if he's picked up on that, but it's there. Anybody who didn't know better might think I was his big brother. And I don't mean just on looks."

"I'm afraid he probably wouldn't appreciate the similarity," Marin said with what might have been real regret.

"No kidding," Fade agreed, chuckling. "Opinionated little cuss, isn't he? Yeah, you're right, Marin. It's no coincidence that I'm going to have to ask you to stick around here for a while. The kid tried to hide it, but they're not stupid, either. Well, some of them aren't, anyways. Greeper knows about you and him, and he was going to move on you. Gie tipped me off. She, Angish, and the twins are playing along with me for the moment. Dunno what they'll do if Greeper tries to throw down, but there's always Hoad if that happens."

"That's not all," Marin said, gently but firmly. "You're trying to bait Link into coming after you next. If you need them backing you up, that confirms it. Nice try, Fade, but you're my best friend. I know how you think by now."

Fade was silent again for a moment. Turning back to her, he returned to the couch, something regretful yet resolute in his eyes. "Why'd you have to do it, Marin? Of all the people, you had to fall for him? Things would have been so much simpler if you'd just been friends with him. Like-" He broke off suddenly, looking away.

"I tried." Marin turned her face away as well. "But things happened."

"Damn straight they did," Fade growled. "Starting from day one, when you pulled him ashore, and noticed what was different about him."

"It's not that!" Marin said angrily. "It's... it's because of _who_ he is, not _that!_ His personality, his attitude, everything he says and does... he's different." She flushed, realizing too late that she'd ended up agreeing after all, in letter if not in spirit.

"Yeah," Fade agreed flatly. "He is. He's still got a heartbeat. He's the only person on this island who still has one. Human, monster, animal, nightmare. None of us have beating hearts except for him. None of you are alive, in the outside world. Maybe not even us nightmares-none of us have had the nerve to try and leave Koholint ever since we created it. Maybe you fell for who he was, but the initial attraction came from before that. He gave you hope. Hope that you could escape."

"You knew," Marin said quietly after a moment. "How?"

"Like you said, we're best friends," Fade reminded her. "It works both ways. I know how you think, too." He closed his eyes. "I'm sorry, Marin. I truly am. But it's not going to happen. Not even he can take you back through _that_ door. That's why I'm doing things this way. Me, Greeper and Hoad are the only ones left, and I don't know if we can stop him through force alone."

"So what _are_ you doing?" Marin asked uncertainly.

"I'm opening his eyes," Fade said grimly. "I'm making him face the results of his actions. I'm showing him exactly what will happen if he keeps going like this. You already know what that is. You're sharp, Marin. Probably the sharpest human on this island. Don't try and deny it. You've known for a long time."

Instead of speaking, Marin closed her eyes, then rubbed them, trying to hide the angry tears that began to fall, and failing.

"Here." Fade handed her a handkerchief and watched her dry her eyes, regret written on his face. "I really am sorry, Marin. It's a shitty situation, for all of us, but nobody can change it. Not the Goddesses. Not Master Ganon. Not me. Not you. Not even him."


	11. Chapter 10: Facing Reality

_**Chapter 10: Facing Reality**_

_Whisper things into my brain  
Assuring me that I'm insane_

"All right, here you are," The mermaid of Martha's Bay said, handing Link a large, glistening scale from her tail. "I'm only giving you this because you brought my necklace back, and because that perverted alligator _artiste_ Schule will flip when he finds out. He's been after me for years trying to get one. You've met him, if you're staying in Animal Village. His brother Sale's _much_ more handsome, if you ask me. Rugged, too."

"All right," Link agreed with forced calmness, accepting it, as he sat on the edge of the bay. "Sounds fair to me." The rate at which he was exchanging odds and ends had become ridiculous, but he was in no mood to think about it. He'd come out to the peninsula on the south end of the bay intentionally to avoid anybody today, leaving Animal Village before the inhabitants had awakened. It was there that the mermaid had accosted him, asking-or, really, demanding-that he help her find the missing necklace.

"Honestly, you'd think I did enough, modeling for him," The mermaid went on, apparently oblivious to his mental state. There was indeed a statue of her not ten feet away from Link, with a corresponding scale missing on it. "Then when it was done, he said he left that part out because he wanted to put a real one on. Something about really getting into the art, I don't know. It'll drive him up the wall when he sees somebody else did it." She gestured at the statue. "Well? What are you waiting for? Go on!"

"Okay." Link did what she had said; it was easier than any sort of argument, or putting any thought into it. The scale fit into place perfectly; as soon as it was on, the statue slid to one side quietly and calmly, as if mechanical. Below was a hole in the ground with a box inside. Opening it, Link found something he'd only seen in laboratories before; a magnifying lens with a handle. Through some trick of glassblowing too complex for him to understand properly, it would make anything that he looked at through it appear much larger.

"Now _that's_ weird," The mermaid commented. "Well, whatever. It'll show Schule, at least. I'm going back to looking good on the rocks around here. Try and find me sometime, handsome. Oh, and look out behind you!" She dived into the water and was gone as Link spun around, too slow to stop a furry paw from grabbing him by the jaw and pulling his mouth open. Something was shoved into his mouth; realizing that it was a slice of cherry pie, Link took his hand off his sword and glared sullenly up at Chef Bear, who held the rest of the pie in a tin.

"I told you, you need to eat, no matter what kind of a funk you're in," The chef admonished him as Link chewed silently. "Don't go ignoring the chef, kiddo. Bad idea." Under his other arm, he had a keg, and two mugs were stuffed into his apron pockets. Sitting down, he tapped the keg and filled the mugs, then handed one to Link. "All right, spill, son. What went on yesterday that's got you so messed up? Don't make me wrestle you into talking. I'll do it. You know I will."

"Found some things out," Link answered noncommittally, taking another slice of pie. He didn't want to say everything, but he knew Chef Bear's threat wasn't an idle one. "About Koholint Island. About the Lords and Ladies. About everybody here." He sighed, eating the slice, then starting on his ale. "It's gotten me wondering about what I'm doing here. That doesn't happen very often." Staring into the mug, he sighed and took another drink.

"Found out we're all dead men walking, huh?" Chef Bear guessed, causing Link to spit his ale into the bay. An unlucky zora was unamused.

"How the hell did you guess that?" Link demanded, ignoring the curses thrown in their direction by the fishman. "Excuse me a moment." He fired an arrow at the zora before any fireballs could be launched, taking it out. "Sorry about that. Like I was saying, where the hell did _that_ come from?"

"It's about the only thing I know that would do this to you," Chef Bear answered with a shrug. "Knew you wouldn't catch on, either. Nice thing about being me-better ears than humans. No offense. Been a _long_ time since I heard a heartbeat, so that woke me right up when you walked on in for the first time. Granted, I wasn't exactly thinking the same way back then-anybody who tried putting me in an apron would've had a _very_ unpleasant surprise-but I still remember that much."

"So nobody else here has one?" Link realized, thinking it over. Idly, he wondered how exactly a _bear_ wound up being shipwrecked, but decided not to ask. It was probably viewed as rude. "Yeah, okay. Guess that _would_ be a tip-off. And it's not like I've been in any position to check anybody else, so I wouldn't know."

"Not even with Marin?" Chef Bear nudged him, chuckling at the dirty look he got from Link in return. "So much for Lady Christine's gossip mill."

"The problem is, it looks like if I want to get off here, I'm going to have to get rid of Koholint entirely," Link continued. He was suddenly tired of holding back, of hiding things, and he could probably trust Chef Bear to be discreet. "And if I do that, then everybody else here who's mostly dead..."

"Is going to end up being _really_ dead?" Chef Bear guessed, whistling. "Kid, I gotta hand it to you. When you have problems, they don't pussyfoot around."

"Thanks," Link muttered, drinking more. "So you see the issue. I don't know if I can go through with this any more." That much was still true, even without mentioning Ganon and Zelda and the Triforce.

"Might be more complicated than you think, even," Chef Bear grumbled, taking some of the pie for himself. "Kid, let me give you some advice. What you need to do is get off your tail, stop moping around, and do something. Whenever somethin' like this happens to me, I cook up one hell of a feast. Cooking's what I do, it's what I'm best at, and it makes me get my mind off it for a while and think about something else. I'd suggest you do the same, except not so much with the cooking, as with what _you_ do best."

"What I do best, hm?" Link narrowed his eyes. Chef Bear had a point. "Marin's with Fade. Whatever I decide, I need to do something about _that._ Not to mention, Fade was the one who set this unpleasant little surprise up. Maybe I should talk that over with him, face to face." He slowly nodded. "Yeah. Either way, I can't just stop at five of the Lords and Ladies. They're all going down, and he's next on the list."

"See? There you go." Chef Bear clapped him on the back, nearly flattening him. "Get your mind off the problem and on your business for a while. Figure it out once you've gotten that taken care of." He hesitated before continuing. "Of course, it's probably gonna be _complicated_ between Fade and miss Marin."

"No kidding," Link agreed, finishing his ale. "But it's gotta be done." _And I need some answers on that too, anyways._ Rising, he managed a weak smile; privately, he doubted he'd really be able to get his mind completely off the issue at hand, but it was worth a shot. "All right then. I'm off to the Face Shrine."

"Don't plan on missing dinner again. Last time I'm cutting you a break," Chef Bear threatened. "Stay out late now that you're thinking straight, and you get to deal with the consequences." He stood as well. "Good luck, kiddo. Think I'll go for a swim." Leaving the keg on the ground, he stretched his paws above his head, and made a dive into the bay that soaked everything within twenty feet.

"Oh, well," Link said to nobody in particular. "I'd have needed to get wet anyways." He regarded the keg for a moment, then shook his head regretfully. _Not if I'm going to be working._ Picking up the ignored magnifying lens from the hole, he did his best to dry it off before putting it in his pack, then headed out.

* * *

The only logical way Link could see to actually reach the Face Shrine was simple. Dive into the river, then climb out on the other side. He was just glad he _could_ climb onto the bank before the Shrine. Shaking himself dry as best he could, he opened the gate and walked inside. "All right, Fade. Where are you?" Unsurprisingly, there was no actual response. Shrugging, he regarded his surroundings. The odd look of the outside extended here; everything was a bleak, uniform pale gray. Attempts to improve the look with paintings and statues just made it look bizarre, and the dim lighting didn't help either.

"Place is like a mausoleum," Link muttered, looking back and forth between the two doors, one to each side. The one on the right, however, was filled by an odd-looking statue of a bipedal elephant, larger than he was. Even with his power bracelet, there was no chance he could lift it. _I don't get modern art._ Shrugging, he went left. The room there was empty and blank, and that make Link suspicious. His instincts were right; moment after he entered, three humanoid figures in robes and wide-brimmed, pointed hats appeared out of the air.

"Goodbye, swordsman," All three spoke in unison, raising their arms and launching powerful blasts of destructive magic.

"Wizzrobes!" Link snarled, diving out of the way. "They've got everything here!" The sorcerers laughed and disappeared once more. Growling, Link lit a bomb, then heaved it into the middle of them as soon as they came back. The explosion took them all out, but he was late in dodging, and one shot scorched his leg. _I _hate_ wizzrobes. Figures one of the only things I don't have yet is my mirror shield._ Sighing, he continued on through several more rooms with those and other monsters.

When he found a colored sphere switch, with a line of raised orange blocks obstructing the way onwards, he groaned, but hit it anyways and kept going. _I hate these colored blocks._ This was driven home by the next room, which had _blue_ blocks blocking the chest. Turning back, Link fired an arrow at the switch from the other side of the orange blocks, then opened the chest and pulled out a map. "Another self-image? Goddesses." This dungeon looked to be shaped like a horned head. More importantly, it was separated down the center into two sides, only connected at the entrance. "Good to know."

When he found the dungeon's stone slab with the missing piece in the same room, he raised an eyebrow, but inserted it anyways. "Enter the space where the eyes have walls..." He paused, then pulled out his map and checked it. There were indeed blank spaces in the layout, to lend eyes to the face. A couple rooms back, there had been a room adjoining the left 'eye.' "Okay. I'll bite." Returning there, he set a bomb in the center of the wall, and smiled grimly as it blew open a hole to a room on the other side. It was completely unlit, pitch-black, but by the light behind him, Link could see stairs to a basement in one corner. Killing slime-blob zols in his way, he descended.

"Hey, loser!" Something yelled as soon as he descended. "Try and get past _me!_" Link had to cover his eyes; whatever was yelling was huge and bright, glowing with light that filled the basement tunnel.

"Criminey!" Link dashed under it; it was in the air, moving slowly but surely down towards him. He barely cleared it in time, but there was still a lot of tunnel, and he had the feeling it was chasing him. He didn't slow for an instant, but kept going all the way to the other stairs, where he ran back up. Only then did he see that he was surrounded by raised orange blocks. Slapping his face, he muttered a series of curses in Fade's direction and returned to the tunnel, dodging the glowing thing again as he ran back the other way. After hitting the switch and making one more trip back, Link passed the now-lowered blocks and went on, into another empty room. Empty except for one other inhabitant.

"You're really doing a number on this place, you know?" Fade said in a pained tone of voice. The Lord was lying on his side carelessly, as if the floor were a bed. "Have any of the others brought that up? It's not exactly _easy_ to repair everything. The monsters aren't really construction workers, sort of thing."

"I'm heartbroken," Link said flatly. "Where's Marin?"

"In the back." Fade examined his fingernails. "She's fine. I'd offer to take you to her, but I'm not sure if I trust your intentions just yet."

"_You_ don't trust _my_ intentions. That's a laugh." Link snorted.

"Which one of us is trying to destroy the island and kill everybody here, again?" Fade remarked. "Or _was_, at least. Gie said you took the bait and checked out the mural. You know, we didn't put that in when we built this place. The entire Shrine just popped up. We've all seen it, though, and we don't like it. But Hoad still brought you here, knowing who and what you are. Sometimes I really don't get that guy."  
"I'd be worried if you did." Link stood his ground, meeting Fade's eyes. "Yeah. I saw the mural. So?"

"So, what are you doing here?" Fade asked bluntly. "You just want to check up on Marin? Or is it _more_ than that?" He stared back. "You know what's going to happen if you wake the Wind Fish. Give me your word that you'll quit, and I'll get the others off your back."

"You think you can control Greeper and Hoad?" Link raised an eyebrow. "Let alone the rest of them?"

"I've done it before," Fade said simply. "I can again, any time I need to. I'm a lazy bum, so I don't do it _often._ If my people are on the line, though? I'll get off my ass. Call off this rampage of yours, and we might even be able to get the rest of them to leave the people here alone. They're afraid of you, you know. That's why they're pretending to be so overconfident. It's a facade to hide their own real feelings from themselves. They're scared shitless of you, and they're desperate not to show it, even to each other."

"And you?" Link asked.

"If they don't remember _why_ they back down to me, I'll remind them." Fade stood and stretched. "Just like the last time things were _disputed._ So, what's it going to be? Do we have a deal, Hero Of Time?"

"Maybe," Link said honestly. "I don't know myself. I can't make any promises."

"That's not good enough," Fade replied grimly. "You're trouble, dummy. I need to know for sure that you're not going to be a threat any more."

"And if you don't?" Link asked, readying his sword.

"Then you've got even less luck than I do." Fade snapped his fingers. "And I've got no luck at all." A piece of the ceiling detached, falling and crushing him flat. When it rolled off, there was only a black, round stain on the floor, looking almost like a hole. A hole that ejected a metal sphere the size of a man up into the air. As it flew, the smear on the ground rose back up, growing into a strange, still-flat-looking beast, long and wide and covered in a glossy shell, black above and white underneath. A single appendage extending from the rear caught the ball, and held it on top, above two cute-looking eyes.

"You people have had some weird forms before, but this one takes the cake." Link commented. "What, are you going to beat me to death with that?"

"Pretty much, yeah," Fade agreed. "Catch!" The ball was slung towards Link suddenly, blasting through the air.

"Shit!" Link ducked, just in time; the ball knocked his hat off. Turning around, he saw it roll out of an actual crater in the wall behind him. _That would have killed me. Period. End of story._ Whirling back, he saw Fade hopping across the ground towards him and the ball. "Oh, no you don't!" Unfortunately, multiple sword strikes completely failed to penetrate the shell at all.

"Oh, yes I do." Fade just kept going past him and picked the ball back up. Slowly turning, he flung it again, missing a second time. "One direct hit, and you're dead, dummy."

"I'll just have to finish this without getting hit, then," Link quipped, trying arrows. Unfortunately, unlike with armos, logic held, and they bounced off harmlessly. Growling, he lit a bomb and tossed it at the ball, in Fade's path.

"It's not gonna work, dummy." Fade said confidently. "_Nothing_ you've got is hurting me." His words were true; the bomb blast didn't even disrupt his pace. A third toss grazed Link's left shoulder. "Damn! Almost!"

"Almost isn't good enough." Link snapped, his bad temper only growing; even that scrape had felt like it nearly dislocated his shoulder. A hookshot strike and a charge with the pegasus boots adding power to his sword both failed as well. Attempting to slice at the eyes or limb proved just as ineffective; the creature's light-footed, springing movement made it impossible to nail such small targets. Flinging himself flat to the floor to dodge another attack, he suddenly paused, a candle lighting in his mind. Jumping back to his feet, he ran _towards_ the sphere, and grabbed it before Fade could.

"What the hell are you trying to do now?" The Lord asked derisively. "Just play keep away?"

"Not quite." Link watched him approach, and brought the ball down, swinging it from overhead like a falling hammer onto the Lord.

"What the _hell?_" Fade yelped. The ball crushed him flat, and he lay there for a moment, eyes spinning. "You gotta be kidding me!" The limb came up, grabbing the ball as well, and he strained backwards, trying to wrestle it away from Link. "Let go!"

"Not happening!" Link growled, pulling back as well. Kicking with his boots clinched it; he pulled away, stumbling back, with the ball overhead. Fade tripped forward as well, and Link brought it down again, smashing him once more. This time, Fade was too stunned to try and grab it. Link simply kept pounding, raising the ball and bringing it back down, over and over, until what was left of Fade was embedded in a crater.

"Geez..." Fade's shadow rose from the pit. "All right, warm-up's over with. See you in a few, dummy."

"Hey!" Link yelled as the shadow darted away and was gone. "Dammit." Scratching his head, he blinked; there was a treasure chest in the room he hadn't seen before, when he was being distracted by Fade. Opening it, he found a bracelet similar to the one he'd found in Gie's lair, but made of gold instead of silver. The source was obvious. "From my _other_ power gauntlet. They wrecked that too. Assholes." Sighing, he slipped it on his other wrist anyways. "Well, at least I should be able to get to the other side of this place now."

Checking his map, Link confirmed that he'd explored the entirety of the left side. Returning to the entrance, he took a deep breath, then gripped the sides of the elephant statue and lifted. The gigantic barricade slowly but surely moved out of his way, opening up the way onward. Stepping through, Link saw an empty room again, this one with loose floor tiles. He groaned in dismay, recognizing it, as the tiles began lifting into the air. _I hate flying tiles. _

Quickly running to a corner of the room, he raised his shield to block the attacks; the flying, spinning tiles hurled themselves at him in suicide strikes, smashing themselves. Fortunately, there were a limited number of tiles. When they were done, Link lowered his shield, shook his head, and continued on. The path forked soon after; one way locked, the other not.

"Don't have a key yet... guess I have to go this way." The room after the open door contained two treasure chests surrounded by raised orange blocks. Muttering curses, Link turned around, only to see the door slam shut behind him, and wizzrobes appear around him. Charging out of their way, he turned around and threw a bomb into the center of the cluster. That helped a little, but his temper was still fast approaching the boiling point. Returning to the switch, he hit it _again_, then made his way back to the chests, opening them and taking the pair of keys inside.

"Two for one. Even his generosity is obnoxious," Link growled, opening the locked door and entering another empty room. "If I didn't know better, I'd say Fade was deliberately trying to piss me off... oh, wait. He probably is." Checking his map, he saw that he was directly south of the other "eye" space, and bombed the wall, then walked in. His own eye twitched involuntarily. "Yup. Definitely trying to piss me off."

"What _ever_ gave you that idea, boy?" Morm said smugly. "Hello again. You didn't think you'd be rid of us that easily, did you?"

"No, he's not that foolish." Sleel shook her head. The two of them were simply standing there this time, not even pretending to be doing anything else. "He knows us better than that by now, I'm sure."

"I know that I've seen pretty much everything you two can dish out by now," Link commented. "Combine that with the fact that I've already fought Fade in here once, and I think it's safe to say you're just here to try and get lucky, at this point."

"Doesn't miss a beat, does he?" Sleel asked her twin, amused. "He's wrong, of course. But he's so close. Should we give him a hint?"

"Why bother?" Morm shrugged. "He'd simply think we were lying. Shall we get on with this without further pleasantries? I don't think there's any point to a pretense of being social at this stage in the game."

"That's the smartest thing I've ever heard from either of you," Link said with a tight smile. "Are you feeling all right?"

"We let the others do the thinking," Sleel replied calmly as snow drifted down over them. "We prefer taking action!" The two black snakes crept out, grinning as strangely as ever, and began moving towards Link.

_This again._ Link narrowed his eyes. _All right. Let's try something new._ Drawing two bombs, one for each hand, he dropped them to the floor so he could light them, and then picked them up again. The two snakes were side by side, advancing at an equal pace. Link charged headlong between them, dropping the bombs to either side as he passed by. Both turned their heads towards him, and both swallowed the explosives, blowing a link off of their bodies. Turning around, he repeated the first part of the process, but this time dropped the bombs ahead of him and jumped back before crossing their path. Anticipating him, they lunged ahead of time and snapped up the bombs once more.

"Close ranks!" Morm hissed. "Don't give him room to pass between us, sweet sister!" The two serpents slithered up against each other before turning back to Link.

"Let's chase him down, dear brother!" Sleel said happily.

_Hmph. I hate when they use their brains._ Link made a turn himself and began moving around the perimeter of the room, easily passing their attempt to cut him off. He simply circled the edges, the snakes slowly pursuing him, dropping bombs as close as he dared to get to them without risking being caught. They smelled the gunpowder and avoided most of the explosives, but eventually, Link got lucky, first with Sleel, then with Morm. They exploded, faded away, and were gone without any more words.

"Phew." Link wiped his brow once he had been healed by the fairies left behind. "Getting a real workout here." He paused, suddenly realizing the actual meaning of the fight. _Exhaustion. Fairy magic patches wounds, but it doesn't do anything for that. They're trying to wear me out before I fight Fade for real._ His hands tightened on his sword's hilt. _I can't tell if that means he's not that good in a fight, or he's just not taking any chances. Only one way to find out, I guess._ Grumbling quietly, he continued onward.

After fending off more flying tiles in the following room, Link found himself facing another fork. Once again, only one was locked. Checking his map, Link saw that the unlocked path would lead to the room before Fade's lair, and took the other way. Hookshotting across a chasm, fighting off a pack of pol's voices, and pushing his way through a maze full of moving blocks took him to a final puzzle-one that made his veins throb.

The room contained a pair of oversized horse-head statues with rounded bases, making them prone to fall over on their sides (somehow, without damaging themselves). In order to open the door, Link had to get them both to stand up straight on their altars at the same time. This was no easy task, considering that even when he finally got one to do so, it would fall back over within half a minute. By the time he succeeded in getting both upright simultaneously and taking the horned key in the room beyond, the last vestiges of Link's good humor had left him, replaced by something bitter, black and biting.

Returning to the fork and going the other way, he found one more irritant waiting between him and Fade. "Of _course_. Beamos." Magically powered sentries, beamos were statues with eye-heads that rotated continuously. Any intruder that crossed their vision would be nailed with a powerful beam of light. There were two of them in the room, positioned in the far corners, and a series of chasms between Link and the door. Pillaging his memories of Uncle Al for curse words, Link carefully made his way across, unlocked the door, then grumpily kicked it open.

"Now, that's just rude," Fade remarked mildly. Back in human form, the Lord was seated on a couch, a wineglass in his hand. "And totally uncalled for."

"Link!" Marin started to rise, then sat back down after a hesitant moment. She was on the other side of the couch; her own wineglass was untouched on the table before them. "You're all right... but you're hurt." She turned to glare at Fade.

"He can take it." The Lord shrugged. "Sorry, Marin. I tried, but it looks like talking isn't going to solve this problem."

"Hate to agree with him, but I'm fine," Link said. "The more important question is if _you're_ all right. He hasn't done anything to you, has he?"

"He's my _friend_, Link." Marin shot an irritated glance at him next. "I can't believe the both of you. Am I going to have to _make_ you get along?"

"I'm afraid it's gone past that, Marin," Fade said regretfully. "I think you might want to go in the back. Neither of us wants you to get caught up in this."

"Wait." Link held up a hand. "She should know this. About what might end up happening here. What you've been keeping from everybody."

"Oh, brother." Fade rolled his eyes. "Anybody ever tell you that you underestimate people sometimes? She already knows, dummy. Or at least, she's got a guess that's damn close. She has for a long time now." A chill ran down Link's spine as he saw Marin look away. "Why do you think she's so desperate to leave?"

"That's not-" Link started to yell, then stopped. After a moment of deep breathing, he spoke again, quieter this time. "Marin?"

"I should have told you," She whispered. "I'm so sorry, Link." She met his eyes. "You really want to fight Fade?"

"Unless he gives me his Instrument." Link closed his eyes. "I don't know what I'm going to do yet. Until I figure that out, I have to keep going."

"I can't do that." Fade shook his head. "The only reason you'd want it is to wake the Wind Fish. Go bother Greeper and Hoad for theirs if you want to do that. You can come back for mine if you decide to go for it and damn the consequences. And yourself, most likely."

"I can't do that." Link repeated. "You're dangerous, Fade. You've got more on the ball than any of the others. You're the closest one to being human. You're more _real_ than they are. If I left here now, I don't think I'd like what I'd find when I came back. Taking unnecessary risks gets people killed in my line of work."

"That's that, then." Fade stood. "Marin, _please_ go in the back room. I'm not joking. If you're in this room when this goes down, you'll be in danger, no matter how hard both of us try not to aim at you. I'll try to just cripple him. If I break both his legs, maybe he'll have a change of heart by the time they heal."

Marin stood as well, and then with a sudden movement, punched Fade. It wasn't a ladylike slap; she caught him on the jaw with her fist and a significant amount of force, then rounded on Link. He was so surprised that by the time he'd noticed her crossing the distance between them, she was already hitting him as well. She watched them both hold up hands to their faces, biting her lip hard enough to draw blood, then turned and stalked off towards the back door.

"Have to admit, that's a new one on me," Link said after a moment. "Didn't think she'd take it that hard."

"Been a long time for me," Fade admitted quietly. "She was scared. That got to her."

"What did you-" Link started to growl.

"_Shut up_," Fade snapped, suddenly angry. "Not _me_, you absolute moron. She was scared of _you._ Goddesses dammitall, you should _see_ yourself. You look like you're about ready to start chewing the furniture. And you ask why she was so on edge?"

"And whose fault is that?" Link retorted. "You're the one who set up everything here to piss me off, even though you already knew what a bad day I was having."

"Yeah, I did," Fade replied coldly. "I was testing a guess. And I was right. _I'm_ dangerous? You're more of a disaster for Koholint than even Greeper thinks. You know, our creator told us about you. She remembered you, from when she'd met you centuries ago, and Lord Ganon had told her a lot more since then. She told us a lot, really, but it looks like I'm the only one who bothers remembering it."

"No way." Link's eyes widened. There was only one person he knew who could fit that statement. "I don't believe this. _Mothula_ created you?"

"Bingo." Fade nodded. "I know who and what you are, Juror of Courage. And the way you're acting now all but confirms her theories. When you lose your grip on things, and rely too much on that 'courage' of yours, it gets out of hand and just keeps building, worse and worse. If you keep going like this for too much longer, that Triforce you hold will wake up, whether you want it to or not. And if _that_ happens, you might just end up wrecking the island by yourself, no Wind Fish necessary. Before you do, I'm stopping this. Here. Now. Permanently. Sorry, kid. I lied to Marin. Your time's up."

Before Link could speak, or even blink, a gigantic, skeletal hand burst from the floor. Rather than attacking him, it turned upon Fade, snatching him up and lifting him into the air. He grunted, involuntarily, as it began to crush him, clutching him tighter and tighter. With the sounds of snapping bones and tearing meat, Fade was pulverized into a disgusting red mess then began dripping into the floor, spreading to cover it much like Sliyes' transformation into his own true form. Link had to avert his eyes, despite his instincts, from the mass of gore left in the hand by that point.

He looked back when the noises stopped, to see the skeletal limb withdrawing into the floor, the hole it had made sealing up as soon as it was gone. The gore had covered the entire room by then, but unlike with Sliyes, the red color did not revert or coagulate into a mass. Instead, one wall began to alter in a different way. What looked like cracks began appearing, then widening, forming empty black eyes, nostrils, and a mouth with a sarcastic twist to its smile. "You made it this far, hero. Good job. Game over."

"Shit," Link said quietly, as the room around him attacked. He dove aside as a section of the roof came down where he'd been standing, missing squashing him flat by inches. Growling, he began running, pegasus boots giving him all the speed they could, keeping him ahead of further attempts at crushing him. The floor tiles rising came as absolutely no surprise; raising his shield, he fended them off as he approached the face. His sword slashed at it, but to his dismay, the blade had no more effect than it would have on an ordinary stone wall.

"That's not gonna cut it, dummy." Fade smirked as a tile smashed against Link's legs, shattering into shrapnel. "Need a hint? All right, all right, my weakness is... whoops, almost talked too much again!" Puckering his lips, the face spat a giant steel sphere, identical to the one he'd used earlier, at Link.

"As if," Link growled, ducking under and using his shield to deflect it. Even that slight impact felt like it was crushing his arm, but it didn't kill him, shooting past and bouncing off the far wall. _Hey, there's an idea._ Avoiding more falling ceiling and flying tiles, Link ran over to pick the ball up, and threw it at the face, with all the force he could manage.

"Closer," Fade said as the ball slammed into his eye, and passed through, as if into a hole. "But no cigar."

_Where'd it go?_ Link glanced around wildly, and managed to see it blasting at him again from behind just in time to dive away. More importantly, he saw that there was indeed a hole in the wall that it had been launched from, closing a moment later as if it had never been there. Taking another tile, this time to his shoulder, he winced as a shard tore open his cheek. _Think, think!_ Would_ damaging the wall hurt him? He didn't want to get hit with the ball, right? _Lighting a bomb, he waited a moment for the fuse to burn down, then hurled it at the wall.

"Aw, no!" Fade yelled as it hit him, right between the eyes, and exploded, blasting a massive chunk out of the stone. In the same manner they had appeared, the features faded into similar cracks, and then were gone entirely. All movement in the room stopped; the tiles became still, and the ceiling ceased to fall and retract, the segment above Link freezing halfway down.

"All right, Fade, where are you?" Link called, stepping out from under the falling segment. _He's not done. It's not that easy._

"Over here, dummy!" Fade's voice yelled from behind him. Instead of turning, Link immediately dodged the steel sphere that was coming at his head, _then_ whirled around to see Fade's face on the opposite wall from where it had first been. "All right, _fine._ That's how you want to do this? No more mister nice Nightmare."

_Keep talking,_ Link thought, lighting another bomb, then stumbled, dropping it. A hole had appeared in the floor beneath his feet; and he was barely able to grab the edge in time to avoid falling in. As soon as he did, he scrambled up and out; the hole was already closing, nicking his boots as he escaped. Right on top of his own bomb. Despite quickly backing away, Link was still singed, then struck in the back of the head with a tile, making stars swim before his eyes.

"Looks like I'm almost out of those," Fade said absently. "Let's kick it up a notch more, huh? Gah!" His eyes widened as Link threw another bomb.

_At least he's cut it out with the ceiling,_ Link noted as the enemy's face left the wall again, then yelped as he saw a flowerpot headed for his face. Ducking it, he hurdled an end table, tripped on a rug, and winced as he saw the incoming painting. "Crap." Drawing his sword, he barely managed to slice it in half before it hit him; even so, the halves bounced off his head and legs. Spinning sideways, he nearly fell over into another suddenly opening pitfall, teetering on the edge for a moment before leaning backwards. By doing so, he also avoided a heavy-looking statue.

_Right, that does it._ Focusing on lighting a bomb and spotting which of the remaining two walls Fade's features now occupied, he successfully threw the explosive, leaving himself open to a bottle of wine that shattered against his back in the process. Glass shards lodged in his flesh, but none of them found his neck or anything else vital, and Fade roared in pain, disappearing and halting his activities. Immediately, Link lit another bomb, throwing it at the fourth and final wall.

It was instinct, more than anything else, that saved him. As he threw the bomb, he noticed that the steel sphere had vanished once more. In the same instant, he saw a hole opening below him. Instead of trying to hurdle it, he leaned back, and the sphere blasted upward, inched from his face. The bomb nailed Fade's face as soon as it appeared, forcing a retreat before anything else in the room could move more than slightly. Watching the ball land, Link looked around quickly. _Did that do it?_

"Had your fun, dummy?" Fade's voice asked scornfully, answering his thought in the negative. It took Link a moment to find him; he wasn't on any of the walls, one of which caught his attention in a different way-by collapsing, the closest layers breaking apart and crashing down towards him. Dashing across the room and out of the way, Link glanced upward, and saw what he'd been afraid of. Fade was on the ceiling now, sneering down. "Good luck hitting me up here!"

_I hate when they're right._ Link muttered something anatomical under his breath. There was no way he could throw a bomb that high, which meant the only way he could win was by doing something really stupid. What was worse, he had to do it while dodging more collapsing walls, hurdling pits, and avoiding furniture. He took several hits from the last as he ran around the room like a spooked cucco, pulling an arrow from his quiver and a bomb from his bag. Tucking the arrow under one arm along with his bow, he waited until it looked as clear as it was going to get, then lit the bomb.

"What the hell are you doing, dummy?" Fade demanded, bringing the fourth wall crashing down towards him.

"Improvising," Link answered flatly, spiking the bomb on the arrowhead. The shell was pierced, and gunpowder began leaking out, but he'd struck it so that the head plugged as much of the hole as possible, making the loss a slow one. Grabbing his bow, he drew the bomb-arrow and fired straight up, then ran from the collapsing wall. It was almost too late; the crushing stone wave caught him, trapping his legs and bringing him down, a stray bit of rubble ringing his skull.

"Oh, for the love of-" Fade began to yell, his curse becoming an inarticulate yell of pain as the bomb-arrow went off in his face. The room froze for a moment as usual, then began shaking with horrible force. Pieces of the ceiling began falling, as Fade appeared on the only undamaged surface remaining, the floor. "_Enough!_ I'll take the power loss! I can come back, but you won't! It's over!"

"Right about that last bit," Link grunted, tossing the bomb he'd lit as soon as he'd heard the last attack working. Pinned to the floor by the collapsing wall as he was, he was unable to throw it far, but that wasn't necessary. "That's about it, though."

"Go to hell, _hero_," Fade hissed, as the bomb blew, and the collapsing ceiling froze. This time, though, the giant face did not disappear. Instead, against all logic, the stone floor began to take on the appearance of a rotting corpse, proceeding through months of decay in only seconds. As Link managed to free himself from the fallen wall, he saw Fade's features become a vacant-eyed, grinning skull. Only then did the floor return to normal, and the shadow of the Lord rise up. "Well? What now, dummy? Got any guesses?"

"A couple. How about Facade?" Link said, and smiled as the shadow flinched. "Right on the first try, Facade? Guess I just got lucky, Facade. I was actually stumped, Facade. Had to look in a dictionary for words that sounded like your name but missing a few letters in the middle, Facade. Good thing for me it's only one word..." He trailed off as he saw the door to the back. It was open slightly, and Marin was peeking out, eyes wide.

"Well?" Fade asked after a moment. "What are you waiting for?"

"Why bother?" Link said quietly. "If I've got this 'power' thing right, you're down to a quarter of yours now. Any more trouble before you recover, and you risk dying for good, I'm guessing. Am I right?"

"You expect me to actually answer that?" Fade chuckled, as his shadow lengthened, returning to human form, unwounded but exhausted. "I don't talk _that_ much, dummy. How do you know I'm not willing to risk that? Pretty sure I could take you, the way you're looking now."

"Try it," Link said, with more bravado than he felt, then turned towards Marin. "Looks like we're done here."

"Are you hurt?" She asked, stepping into the room, then laughed a little, both self-deprecation and slight hysteria in it. "Stupid question. How _badly_ are you hurt, then? I know you said to stay out of it, but when the entire place started shaking, I had to look. That wall..."

"I've had worse," Link answered honestly. "I'm just glad my legs aren't broken like he said. That collapsing wall came close. Feels like something's sprained, but I can find a fairy to take care of that soon enough." He met Fade's eyes. "Could have killed me with that one if you'd tried, buddy. Good thing for me you keep your word."

"Don't go trusting me too far, hero," Fade said quietly. The look on his face was more questioning than anything else. "You've won today. I'm not done for good." As Marin embraced Link, his expression changed, but he didn't say anything else.

"Idiots, both of you," She whispered. "I can't stand it."

"I'm afraid you'll have to." Link hugged her, then stepped back out of her arms, wincing. _Getting back across the river with my legs like this won't be fun._ "I didn't expect anything else, Fade. But you'll keep her out of it, and you'll keep the others from getting her involved too. That's what's important." He smiled slightly. "I'll tell your dad and everybody else you're fine, Marin. Stay with him. Please."

"I will," Marin promised. "Hoad and Greeper both live up in the Tal Tal Heights. My uncle Lingo's house is up there, too. Tell him you're my friend, and he'll let you stay there for a few nights.. He lives up there because he and Tarin don't get along, but he's a good man." She waited until he was walking towards the back room, then spoke again. "Link, are you really going to wake up the Wind Fish?"

"I don't know," Link said after a moment. "I really don't, Marin. I'll come back here, after I'm done with Greeper and Hoad. Maybe by then I'll have an answer for you."

"Just remember what'll happen if you do, dummy," Fade reminded him grimly. "You go through with this, and everything disappears. _Everything._" Crossing over to Marin, he put a hand on her shoulder. "You'd better be ready to live with that if you do. Because nobody else here will."

There was nothing Link could say to that. His anger had vanished, leaving nothing but a cold emptiness that nevertheless drove him to walk past the spring of bones and blood to the altar bearing the sixth instrument. A long, thin golden bar had been bent twice, forming a triangle, one corner topped with a piece of coral and a loop of thread. "The Coral Triangle." Taking it, Link allowed the light to take him out front, then stared at the river. "Oh, this is going to suck." Somehow, in great pain, he managed to cross. As he pulled himself onto the opposite bank, something blotted out the sun. "_Now_ what?"

"Beware, lad!" The owl's voice called, catching his immediate attention. Staring up, he saw the bird, flapping frantically through the sky. Something else was pursuing him, a much larger flying creature; it was this that was blotting out the sun. By doing so, it made its own form indistinct; all Link could tell was that it too was some kind of bird. "The Lords betray their own! The girl from Mabe is in peril!"

Link whirled around, completely unthinking. Even had he been healed, however, he would have been too late. Before he could even start across the river again, a gigantic cloud of huge bats burst from the entrance to the Face Shrine. Their eyes were spectacularly large, nearly the size of their skulls, and they formed the shape of a single, giant bat in flight. From the "legs", two ropes dangled, dragging Fade and Marin through the air, both completely bound and hanging upside down.

"Link!" Marin screamed. "Help!"

"See, kid?" Fade was grinning, but there was no humor in his eyes. "What do I keep telling you? I have no luck at all."

"Silence, fool," The bats' master snapped. Somehow standing on the back of the bat-shape, Greeper was grinning as well, much more maliciously. "Isn't this a pretty tableau, hero? If one brand of logic and persuasion fails to convince you, I shall simply have to resort to a more primitive method, then!"

"Let her go!" Link roared, despite knowing it was pointless. "She's got no part in this mess! She's no threat to you!"

"Your wits must be as addled as Hoad's, if you think I'll be listening to you." Greeper sneered. "She will be unharmed, as long as you stay away from the Eagle's Tower! Set one foot inside it, however, and she'll come down to greet you, the fast way!"

"You're a real _creeper_ some times, you know that?" Fade yelled, meeting Link's eyes. "Forget him, dummy! When Hoad hears about this, he'll-" His voice cut off into choking noises as the ropes round him tightened.

"A pity, how slow some are to learn, isn't it, boy?" Greeper asked Link mockingly, but his eye was twitching. "Take his word, if you will, boy, but don't blame me for the tragic results should you choose to do so!" His laughter echoed across the riverside, shrill and mocking, as the giant bat flew up and away, towards the North. Within minutes, they were gone entirely; there was no trace of them, the owl, or the monstrous bird that had been pursuing him. Only Link remained, wounded and powerless, staring up at the setting sun with blood running from his clenched fist.

* * *

"Oh, _goddesses dammit_," Gie said, disgusted, as she saw what was going on inside the Eagle's Tower. "This is starting to become a seriously bad habit." Fade was hanging from the ceiling, a chain wrapped around his wrists. Angish, unsurprisingly, was bashing him around like a boxing dummy. Sleel, Morm, and Greeper were all watching, the latter's eyes narrowed in concentration. Sliyes was in a corner, a book firmly covering his face. "So, you all just switch back to Greeper as soon as he figures it out? I suppose I shouldn't be surprised."

"I advise you not to test me, Gie," Greeper said irritably. "Otherwise you may find yourself up there alongside him. The others refrained from shifting their loyalty against _you_, but I don't need their testimony to know that you were practically his partner. I'll let it pass, once, since we may end up needing all the muscle we can muster after all, if the brat decides to sacrifice his lover." He indicated Marin, who was in a tight metal cage, normally used to store animals. She glared back at the old man defiantly, but said nothing.

"Heh heh heh," Fade chuckled, then gasped in pain as Angish broke another rib. "Guh... you haven't changed at all over the centuries, Greeper. All book brains, no social smarts. You don't know shit about what he'll do, or anybody else-_aagh!_" He howled in pain as one of Greeper's knives flew through the air, driving through his wrist.

"Silence, traitor," Greeper said venomously. "The days of following your questionable lead have passed. _I_ will deal with this now, and I will do so in the most intelligent way." He turned back to Gie. "You've arrived at the perfect time, actually. The hero will likely realize soon that he was not forbidden from attacking _Hoad._ Go find Hoad, and inform him. Tell him he may choose between the aid of yourself, Sliyes or Angish in his home, but only one."

"No need to find me," Hoad said, walking into the room behind Gie, who was now smiling nastily. "Looks like for once, I'm way ahead of _you_, old man. How about that."

"Now isn't _this_ an interesting turn of events, sweet sister," Morm murmured as all eyes in the room locked on Hoad. Even Angish had paused in his work to stare.

"Indeed it is, dear brother," Sleel agreed.

"Hoad," Greeper said after a moment. "Very well. You heard your directions. Carry them out, unless you wish to be caught unawares."

"Awful generous of you, letting me pick between those three for backup," Hoad said, walking forward. "I appreciate it. But see, there's something else that's bothering me." He smiled deceptively. "When Fade stepped down as boss, I don't _recall_ anybody else deciding that you'd be in charge from then on." He glanced around the room. "My memory failing? Anybody?"

"Who else was the logical choice?" Greeper asked, remaining calm. "You? Your mind is muscle. Almost as bad as Angish. You couldn't plan your way our of a paper bag, Hoad. What could _you_ do for us, as a leader?"

"This," Hoad answered, moving like lightning. Grabbing the old Lord's face in his hand, he slammed him down into the table, then stepped back as a knife slashed past where his throat had been a moment before. "You just decided you were gonna run things, without asking anybody else. Well, I don't know about the rest of them, but I've had about enough of your shit. Gie and Fade are with me. Ain't that right?" He glanced at them both, and they nodded, as Greeper backflipped to his feet, more knives in hand.

"Not so fast there, Hoad," Sleel said, an edge in her voice for once. "What makes you think the rest of us would prefer you?" She and Morm stepped up to either side of Greeper, as Gie did the same next to Hoad. "A pity one of your allies is unable to help you now."

"He has others," Sliyes snapped, throwing his book aside and taking a place with Hoad and Gie. "He has a _point._ I can't say I care much for the way things have been run recently. Give it up. You're outmatched. The three of you against the three of us? You have no chance."

"Not quite." Greeper sneered. "_Angish!_"

"We're all fighting each other." Angish replied, sounding oddly troubled, but making no moves to join them. "Should be fighting the Link. But we're fighting each other instead. That's bad. I don't want to fight each other now."

"Staying out of it, huh? Smartest thing you've ever done, big guy." Hoad said with an appreciative chuckle. "Well, Greeper? You still want to throw down? Tell you what, old man. I'll fight you for it, one on one. Winner's in charge."

"Don't be absurd," Greeper's eyes darted from one Lord or Lady to another, obviously weighing his side's chances. "Now, of all times, we cannot afford to waste time and power like this. Angish has a point there, so I suppose _you_ might as well. You wish to do things differently? Very well. Talk, and I will listen."

"Now _that's_ cool," Hoad cracked his knuckles. "Down to business, then, on one condition. Fade and the girl get to come back to Turtle Rock with me to rest up. This shitty hostage situation ain't my style, but I'm not just gonna let her waltz on out, either. I'll figure out what I'm gonna do with her later. Deal or no deal?"

"Hmph. Very well." Greeper looked over his shoulder at Angish. "Get Fade down. He understands his mistakes by now anyways."

"Boy, do I ever..." Fade muttered as the huge Lord released him.

"Twin freaks, take five," Hoad continued. "You're both down to minimum power. Get some of that back for the big show coming soon. And speaking of which, the kid will be along once he hears Marin here's partying with me now. Got any preferences on who'll back you up?"

"Angish, of course," Greeper murmured, stroking his beard. "And Gie, I believe. Her before he comes, and him after. You don't expect me to just let you take without giving, now do you?"

"And what the hell's that-" Hoad began to yell.

"Hoad." Gie cut him off. "It's fine. Greeper's a jerk, but he's not dumb. He won't screw with me now. Maybe later, after we win, but not right now."

"Indeed." Greeper nodded. "Which only leaves Sliyes. Do you have something in mind for him?"

"You got it." Hoad gave Sliyes a thumbs-up. "It's like this, Sliyes. Unlike some people here, I don't have an overconfidence problem. Just in case both of us end up blowing this, go start getting things ready inside the egg. Might just be we'll need to resort to _that_ after all. Who knows with this crazy kid."

"And here we were almost beginning to think you _wanted_ him to destroy our island," Morm murmured.

"Nah." Hoad grinned, eyes burning. "I just wanted to change the pace up, that's all. Make things more interesting around here. It's no fun if we just screw with everybody, without anybody being able to screw with us back. Boring, that's what I call it. Now this? _This_ is interesting. Who knows, maybe this'll be it for us after all."

"Not if I have any say in the matter, it won't," Greeper said, smiling darkly. "The boy will be entering _my_ territory now. Let us see just how well he plays a different sort of game. You might consider me a cheater, Hoad, but cheaters _do_ win. Watch, and I will demonstrate at length, when he comes knocking on my door."


	12. Chapter 11: Eagle Eye View

_**Chapter 11: Eagle Eye View**_

_No more care to keep us in _

_Listen dammit we will win_

Link attended the community breakfast at Animal Village for the last time that morning. Just like dinner the previous night, he was silent the entire time. None of the animals had tried to approach him at either meal, even Chef Bear; the look on his face when he'd returned, and his lack of accompaniment by Marin, said it all. Everybody seemed to know, somehow, that he wouldn't be there much longer, so they gave him his space and chatted with each other instead, as if nothing was wrong. None of them believed it, but they tried, all the same.

It was only after the meal, when Link was retrieving his gear from Chef Bear's house, that the big bruin caught Link alone. He didn't say anything, even then, but simply leaned against the wall and gave Link a questioning, no-nonsense look until he relented.

"I'm leaving today," Link explained quietly. "I beat Fade, but Greeper took him and Marin. He says if I come after them at Eagle's Tower, he'll kill Marin." He watched the Chef's reaction to that, then continued over his low growl. "I can't go there, obviously. Until I figure out a way to solve that problem, though, there's still Hoad. They both live up in the Tal Tal Heights, and I can't make the trek there and back here in one day. Before she got taken, Marin told me she had an uncle up there who'd let me stay for a few days. That's where I'm headed."

"I got no words for that kind of shit, son," Chef Bear conceded after a moment. "About the only advice I can give you is calling up old man Ulrir-_whoa!_" They both jumped and yelled as something crashed through the window. A lit bomb. Both of them dived behind furniture and waited for the explosion, only for several moment to pass without it happening. Eventually, they peeked up, and saw that the fuse had gone out. The bomb was sitting there, completely harmless now.

"A dud," Link muttered disgustedly. "Somebody's idea of a joke. Not hard to guess a few suspects." He crossed and picked it up, then read out what was written on the side. "The girl's with me. So's Fade. Now go kick his ass up between his ears. Hoad." He rolled his eyes, but was already relaxing a little. "Like he's all that much better? Farore, Din and Nayru. That freak's sense of humor is more messed up than the rest of his brain."

"Dammit, I liked that window," Chef Bear grumbled, but like Link, he couldn't hide his relief. "Well, at least you can hit the Eagle's Tower now. My advice still applies-call up old man Ulrira, see what he can tell you about the place. Don't know anybody else who knows shit about way up there, but what _he_ don't know about this island ain't worth knowing."

"I'll use the phone booth outside before I go, then," Link agreed. He thought for a moment, then stuck out his hand. "Thanks, Chef. Hope I see you again."

"Still don't know what you're gonna do, huh?" Chef Bear clasped the hand in his massive paw, but refrained from shaking it-that would probably have broken Link's wrist. "Well, whichever way you go, none of my boys here are gonna hold it against you. We've had good lives here, kid. Borrowed time. If the dream ends in a couple more days, we've got no regrets."

There wasn't anything Link could say to that. He simply smiled, or did his best to, then left. There was a phone booth outside; he took advantage of it, and called up Ulrira right away. "Hi, it's me again. There's-"

"Bad news going down?" Ulrira snapped, sounding angry for once. "No kidding, boy! What are you gonna do about it? You're not still going to the Eagle's Tower, are you?"

"That worked out," Link explained. "Hoad took her from Greeper. I'm not exactly pleased with that arrangement either, but-"

"But it means you can make Greeper regret it? Good enough!" The old man rushed on, as chattery as ever. "Now listen, if you want my advice, then you oughta fight a bird with a bird! Anybody ever tell you about the Flying Rooster of Mabe? Back in the day, it used to be able to actually lift people into the sky! Gave all us folks around here rides! Problem is, the poor old bird's bones are under the weathercock in the town square now!"

"So, how do I-" Link started to ask.

"Heard you're not a bad hand at music, boy!" Ulrira kept going. "That's how! There's a fella named Mamu who lives right outside town, just south of the east exit! It'll cost you a chunk of change, but it'll be worth it to learn a tune from him! Good luck up there!" Before Link could ask for further clarification, he hung up.

"Right." Link sighed. "Hard to say who's more confusing, him or that owl." Shaking his head, he left the Village, waving to everybody he passed, and receiving farewells in turn. Somehow, that cheered him up just a little, and he made the trek west across the Ukuku Prairie in something that could almost have resembled a mood that wasn't bad. Once he neared Mabe Village, he found a cave where Ulrira had told him to look without much trouble.

"Well, well, well! A visitor!" An even deeper voice than Chef Bear's greeted him. Inside the cave, three frogs were standing on a stage. Two of them were only slightly smaller than Link, but the third was huge, bigger than Angish's human form. This one was the one who was speaking; he wore expensive-looking fur robes and a gold medallion around his neck. "I'm Mamu, and these are my backup singers! Here to listen in on a jam session, man?"

"Old Ulrira suggested it." Link nodded, taking it in stride. He'd seen worse on Koholint. Far worse. "Said it's run me some dough, though."

"Man knew what he was saying, brother." Mamu grinned, which was unsettling. Link had never seen a frog with teeth before. "We don't play for free, after all. Tell you what, three hundred rupees and we'll let you listen in on a previously unreleased hit! What do you say?"

"The things I do for music." Link forced a smile and handed over the money.

"Knew you had soul when I saw you, man." Mamu coughed, and the other two frogs froze. A moment later, they all began to sing wordlessly, their voices as melodious as Mambo and his friends had been. The song was of an entirely different style, though, Deep and rhythmic, with a steady beat. Link concentrated on following along, and before long he thought he could replicate it, but he didn't join in like he had with Mambo; something about the big frog told him that he wouldn't welcome intrusion quite as well.

"Thank you, thank you very much!" Mamu croaked when he was done. "That was my very special 'Frog's Song Of Soul.' You've been a splendid audience. You have a nice day now, you hear, brother?"

"I hear." Link nodded gravely and left. Only once he was outside and walking towards Mabe did he shake his head. "This island is just too weird." He smiled and waved at the people he passed by in the village, but didn't stop to chat with them, making for the windcock in the center of town as soon as possible. It was mounted on a heavy stone base; when he looked, it even had a plaque on it, stating that the Flying Rooster lay there.

"Good thing I got my better gauntlet... well, bracelet now," Link muttered. "Wouldn't have been able to move this thing without it." With a great deal of effort, he was able to push the entire thing to one side, revealing a staircase underneath. It led down into a small cavern, where he saw the bones of a fairly large bird lying on an altar. "Yeah, this is it, all right. Now, I just have to hope I'm getting what Ulrira was saying. And, for that matter, that he was right." Taking out his ocarina, he played the Song of Soul.

As the music filled the cavern, something odd began to happen. The low level of light from above began to flicker and change, moving oddly around the walls. After several moment of this, a tiny sphere of light, a glowing trail following it, became visible to Link as the source of the oddness. It circled the skeleton a few times, then dived into it. There was a blinding flash, and when Link's eyes cleared, he saw something shocking, even for him. The Flying Rooster, for it could be nothing else, lived again.

It was a huge male of the cucco breed, squatter than normal chickens, but more friendly-looking as well. It promptly demonstrated this by hopping over to Link, clucking happily. Chuckling despite himself, Link patted it on the back, which seemed to please it. Turning, it led him outside. Once they were in the open again, it butted his hand gently.

"You want me to pick you up?" Link asked, and it clucked. "All right, let's give this a shot." He noticed now that it had reins dangling from its beak; he grabbed those, and the rooster promptly took off, fluttering a good eight feet off the ground at a steady height. Link couldn't help but smile; it brought back memories. "Well, well. This has to be magic, but I'm not complaining. Stick with me, kid. We're going places."

The rooster happily followed him up into the Tal Tal Heights, clucking occasionally but otherwise content to simply follow in his footsteps. He quickly retraced the path he had taken on his earlier trip, to the point above the Angler's Tunnel, and continued east this time. It wasn't long before he saw a small, but well-built house up on a peak. It was getting near the late afternoon, so he headed up. The door was locked; he knocked politely on it. "Hello? Anybody home?"

"Who's asking?" A man's voice snapped.

"A friend of Marin." Link replied. "She told me to see her Uncle Lingo when I came up here."

"Did she now?" The voice was skeptical. "Well, you don't sound like a pigman or a moblin." The door opened, revealing a thinner, scruffier version of Tarin, glaring suspiciously at Link over a crossbow. The weapon would have been more intimidating, had he not been pointing it a good half-foot above Link's head. "Hmph. Human after all. Haven't seen you around here before."

"I'm a recent arrival," Link explained. "Name's Link. Has she called you on the phone in the last few days or anything?"

"Of course she has." Lingo rolled his eyes. "So you're the fellow who's been busting up the Lords and Ladies, are you? Want to tell me why I should risk-" His voice trailed off as he saw the rooster following Link. "A rooster? That almost looks like..."

"Like the _flying_ rooster?" Link smiled, then grunted as Lingo practically knocked him over, in a rush to grab the bird in a hug.

"It _is_ you! You're back to life, old buddy!" The surly man exclaimed happily as the rooster clucked, excited. "How? I thought you were gone forever!"

"Picked up a few tricks," Link said, watching them dance around. "Another bird I know told me I should get this guy's help when I came up here. I take it you like cuccos?"

"Who do you think raises them on this island, boy?" Lingo asked, trying to sound angry but not really succeeding. "My oaf of a brother? Ha! Takes an expert to bring 'em up right! I let the folks down there have enough to keep them in eggs, but keep the best ones up here for breeding." Releasing the rooster, he coughed. "So he's going to help you out up here, you say?"

"We seem to get along." Link patted the rooster. "If I understand things, I'll need his help to get to the Eagle's Tower. Once we're done there, though, it'd probably be safer for him to stay with somebody else."

"Hell, I'll take care of him, no charge." Lingo chuckled, then returned to his previous wary look, although not quite as irritable. "Why don't you come inside and we'll talk about that, lad?"

"All right." Link followed him and the rooster in. More cuccos roamed the house restlessly, although the house wasn't as messy as one would expect, considering that. Either Lingo cleaned up _very_ often, or he'd somehow managed to housetrain the birds. There seemed to be only three rooms; a main one, containing a kitchen nook, and two bedrooms. "So, Marin filled you in on the situation when she called?"

"More or less," Lingo said, getting himself a beer from the kitchen nook before sitting down at the nearby table and indicating that Link should take a seat as well. He didn't offer him a drink. "Frankly, I'm amazed you're not dead, no matter how good you are. How many of them have you whacked so far?"

"Six," Link explained. "They don't stay dead, but it's still good to teach them a lesson about screwing around with people here. Greeper and Hoad are the only ones left. That's why I'm up here. Marin said you'd let me stay for a few days."

"Well, you're her friend, and you did bring my buddy here back to life..." Lingo stroked his mustache. "Suppose it'd be fine for a few days. Not any more, granted. And if you want any of the food here, you'd better be prepared to do the cooking."

"Sounds fair," Link replied calmly. Inside, he was rolling his eyes, but it was probably the only friendly spot in the Tal Tal Heights. _I'll just have to hope I can get this over with quickly._

"So, you want to get to the Eagle's Tower first?" Lingo said suddenly. He retrieved a atlas, spreading it out on the table. "Go on, I guess you can get yourself something to drink. Now, what you want to do is head as far east and north of here as you can. You'll have to travel through caverns, over chasms, and up cliffsides. Whoever told you to bring the rooster was right on the money. You'd never be able to make it on foot without some sort of magical assistance."

"It's that rough?" Link asked, doing as Lingo had said and filling his mug. "I'm used to some pretty tricky turf."

"How do you feel about twenty-foot wide chasms, _in_ the caves, _with_ cliffsides on the other ends?" Lingo asked him, almost smiling.

"I'd never be able to make it on foot without some sort of magical assistance," Link deadpanned. "Good thing for me this guy's so cooperative."

"He's a good fellow, all right," Lingo agreed, prompting an appreciative cluck from the rooster. "Hell, you brought him back to life, didn't you? I'd appreciate that, if I was him." He turned his eyes back to Link, his stare suddenly piercing. "Speaking of which. That's a pretty neat trick. I have to wonder. Swordsman named Link, who can apparently go through the Lords and Ladies like they were octorocks, and you can pull things like that, too. Assuming for the moment that it's all true... something you aren't telling everybody?"

_Crap. I underestimated him._ Link thought quickly. _He's sharp. _Very_ sharp. Have to bluff._ "Look, I know what you're thinking." He said aloud. "Marin mentioned your family was Hylian. But it's not that. There's some legend in my family line that we're descended from _him_, but we take that about as seriously as we do crackpots telling us Ganon's going to be back any day now to wreck the joint. The reason I'm so good at kicking ass is that I'm Commander of the Knights of Hylia, which kind of runs in the family. My uncle was the previous one, and he taught me everything he knew. That's all there is to that."

"And the whole back-to-life bit?" Lingo asked.

"I followed some advice," Link said flatly, gambling on what he'd seen of the man's nature. "Truth is, I think there's another party here who wants to see the Lords and Ladies taken down, and I just showed up as a good chess piece. I'm playing along for now, but once I actually find out more about what's going on... well, we'll see when I get there, but I'm not the kind of guy who just trusts that kind of thing without asking questions."

"You've got good instincts," Lingo admitted reluctantly. "All right, I get the picture. Now, once you're in the Eagle's Tower, you're on your own. I've been in there twice, and it was entirely different, both times. I think Lord Greeper remodels it completely every so often. All I can tell you is that there's four floors."

"Vertical instead of horizontal, huh?" Link raised an eyebrow, glancing at the brand on his host's wrist, a skull with insectlike appendages. "I've dealt with that kind of deal outside of this Island before. Should be manageable, as long as I keep my head."

"That's what's important, all right." Lingo rose. "Now get started on dinner, will you? I _suppose_ I'll give you a hand with it, _this _time."

"Whatever you say, boss," Link hid his smile. Perhaps it wouldn't be so bad staying here, after all.

* * *

"Hoo boy," Link murmured, looking over the subterranean chasm. "Lingo wasn't kidding. No way I'd be able to make it over this without you, pal." The rooster clucked in seeming agreement. The floor was out for more than forty feet even before it made a right turn around a corner. It likely continued on from there. "Wonder how _he_ made it. Probably best not to ask, though." Picking up the rooster, he began flying his way across.

Marin's uncle, in addition to providing more detailed instructions about the way to the Eagle Tower, had told him of the cave on the way where the key was kept. Link wasn't sure if it would still be there, but he'd checked anyways. As he rounded a second corner, he saw the other side of the chasm. Up there, on a raised section of land, a key with a bird's head on the end glittered. He looked at it for a moment, then looked up. Above the key, the cavern's roof suddenly disappeared, stretching up into a distant hole letting sunlight in.

"All right, whoever's up there," Link called. "I'm not falling for it. Come on down, and let's do this, huh?" A moment passed, and then he saw a blur of motion descending quickly.

"Hi!" Gie landed, bracing herself with one hand, then spun and kicked the key to the back of the cavern. "You're good at this, aren't you? I told Greeper you'd see it coming, but he said I should still do it this way. It wasn't like it cost me anything, anyways." Standing up, she stretched, then smiled. "You're close, aren't you? Just two more. They're not going to be fun, though. Everybody's finally chipping in together, now. Even Fade will, once he recovers."

"So where's Sliyes, then?" Link raised an eyebrow. "Haven't seen him for a while. I was expecting him, to be honest." He flew the rooster over and let go, landing safely. The bird needed no warning to be told to stay back.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Gie grinned mockingly. "I think I'll just let you wonder about that." The walls and ceiling were beginning to brim with life, ivy and vines and other clinging plants sprouting and spreading. Link stepped back as they continued to grow, while Gie remained where she was. Reaching up, she took hold of one vine, and peeled it away to reveal a wooden shaft. Pulling it caused the entire growth to dissipate, exploding in pollen and leaves, leaving Gie with a triple-headed morningstar. She whirled it around, all three heads glinting in the light from above. "Time to have some fun, hero."

"I'm not going to ask exactly _why_ you call this fun," Link replied snarkily, thoughts racing. _A morningstar. Figures. Those always sucked._ "There are all sorts of answers, none of which I want to think about too much." He stepped forward, sword and shield held carefully, just to get away from the abyss. At the same time, Gie moved back a little, and they circled each other, neither wanting to make the first strike.

_Her stamina is probably the weakest of them in this form, except maybe Greeper and Sliyes,_ Link thought. _If she attacks, and I block or dodge, she'll be wide open. If _I attack_, though, she'll catch it with her own weapon. I wouldn't be able to disarm her with that super strength, and it'd pulverize my wrist anyways._ _Whoever attacks first probably loses. And if I go for another weapon, she'll be on me immediately. Actually..._ He made a move for his bomb bag, and Gie sprang.

"Got you!" She said happily, swinging at his legs, then blinked as Link lowered his shield, resisting all three of the morningstar's heads. "Oh, no." She leaped back, but not before Link had sliced horizontally across both of her calves. Wincing, she kept moving around Link, keeping the weapon moving but being more cautious. "Pretty good. Don't expect me to fall for it again." She tried attacking several more times carefully, with half-swings that only involved moving forward slightly, but didn't make any more full charges.

"I'd be disappointed in you if you did." Link kept moving as well, blocking every one of those attacks himself. When she suddenly jumped forward a second time, he was startled for a moment, but still managed to ward off the overhead swings, then slice at her right arm, gouging it heavily before she could retreat. "I've got other tricks, though."

"I'm sure you do." Gie regained her balance at a safe distance, then immediately moved forward once more. "You're not the only one who does, though!"

"Not too-huh?" Link blinked as he raised his shield. In mid-charge, as soon as she'd seen him respond, Gie had moved the weapon's shaft to her other hand, without losing any of its whirling momentum. Cursing, Link tried to move his shield into position, but it was too late. She aimed at his sword arm, and all three heads struck home, two of them hitting his arm while the third slipped past to slam into his ribs. Massive pain and the crack of shattering bone told him that the heavy metal spheres had done their work well.

"Well, well, well," Gie hummed. "Looks like I got lucky."

"Nah," Link retorted, hissing in pain. Before she could pull back her weapon, he charged her head-on with the pegasus boots, hitting her not with his sword, but his shield. "Just the opposite." He bulled into her, putting his shoulders down, and charging with everything he had.

"What are you trying to do?" Gie demanded, bracing him with one arm, then both. A moment later, the light dawned. "Oh, no!"

"Oh, yes," Link growled. Her back had been to the chasm when she'd attacked, and it still was, as he shoved her steadily towards it. She tried to dig in her heels, but to no avail on the stone floor. Her strength slowed him, but didn't stop him, and she tumbled over the edge, wailing furiously. Link stopped himself from following her and stood there, watching, as she disappeared into the darkness. Her curses became quite vile quickly, and continued for almost a full minute before they abruptly stopped, ending in a splash that was probably still fatal from that height.

Wincing in pain, Link took the bird key, then looked around for the rooster, who seemed nowhere to be found. His curiosity was answered a moment later; the rooster rounded the corner over the abyss, returning to him. He wasn't alone, a fairy tagged along, flying in his trail easily. Seeing Link's arm, she immediately flew over and circled him, applying her healing magic without even needing to be asked. Once it was done, she waved and departed through the top, heading up towards the source of the sunlight.

"You figured I'd need that, so you went and got her while I was taking care of the nasty lady, didn't you?" Link asked, and received a cluck in response. "Man, am I glad I have you around. Come on, let's keep going." They returned to the entrance of the cavern, one of three lined up in a row on a narrow ledge. The tunnel on the left was how they had come there, and would lead back to near Lingo's house. The one on the right, however, would lead them to their destination.

Entering it, Link and the rooster walked down a hall, the former killing zols and keese at several points when the monsters tried attacking by surprise. At the end, it began rising sharply as it curved around. Climbing up, they emerged in a tiny stone watchtower, staffed by the hostile pig-men that were apparently another form of intelligent monster servants. Once they were dispatched, Link left through the front door, and found that he had arrived. The Eagle's Tower was to his right.

Absently killing a pair of tektites, he examined it critically. The stone needle was at least four stories tall if he was any judge, possibly more. He made a derogatory noise. _The Tower of Hera and Ganon's Tower both had _seven._ I'm not impressed._ There was no visible entrance, only a gargoyle several feet up, but the skull statues out front bore a keyhole as usual. Shrugging, Link used the key, then jumped as the earth began to shake. The entire tower was turning, revolving like a wheel on its stationary position, carrying the gargoyle out of sight.

"_That's_ different," Link admitted as the other side came into view. "Okay. I'm paying attention." There was a second gargoyle, and underneath it the doors. Link started to move towards them once the tower had ground to a halt, then paused. The rooster was remaining back, shivering slightly. "Don't want to go in there, huh, boy? Can't say I blame you. All right, you can just fly back to Lingo's by yourself, right?" He smiled as the rooster clucked. "I'm guessing that means 'yes.' Go on, I'll be fine. See you tonight." Turning back, he entered the Eagle's Tower.

The first thing Link noticed about the Eagle's Tower was the breeze. Wind blew freely from the halls leading left and right, seeming to indicate a minority, if not an outright lack, of doors throughout the entire structure. Looking between the two directions, he took a guess and headed left, only to round a corner and find his way barricaded by raised orange blocks. Sighing, he turned around, took the right path instead, and found himself confronted by a locked door and a shambling, groaning zombie wrapped in bandages.

"A gibdos," Link recognized with distaste. "Do they have _everything_ Ganon could do?" At that moment, he would have given a great deal for his fire rod, but he would just have to make do. Closing with the monster would have been a fatal proposition; gibdos took a lot of damage to bring down, and its arms would crush his bones to powder if it got the chance. Instead, Link stepped and dodged around it, slicing and slashing until it keeled over. As he'd expected, a key dropped from its hand when it died. Opening the lock, he found a staircase leading up.

The second floor was just as drafty as the first, despite their only being one way to go. Right away, he saw a treasure chest blocked by another raised orange block, and went past it reluctantly. At a turn that Link guessed was the tower's corner, he found a stone slab. Beyond it, a pair of moving stone blocks barricaded the path on. Every few seconds, they slid together, then back apart a few feet, repeating. It didn't take a magician to know what would happen to anything in their way at the wrong time.

A well-placed dash got Link past that hazard, and straight into a marble pillar in the center of the hall. After a moment of pain, he peeled himself off of it and stared, thinking. _Okay, I'm no architect, but this doesn't look decorative. Is it load-bearing, then? Makes sense that there'd have to be something like this, to keep this place standing._ Aside from the pillar, the room also contained a pair of horse-heads and a hole in the floor. The path onward was unfortunately barricaded by more orange blocks, as was another staircase leading back down. Muttering, Link played around with the horse-heads until he got them both upright, and a treasure chest appeared, bearing the map inside.

"Looks like a straightforward tower. No weird shapes." Link rolled his eyes. "Thank the Goddesses. _One_ of them doesn't screw around there. The question is, what do I do now?" After a moment, he glanced into the hole. A segment of the first floor he hadn't been to before was below, and all that was beneath him _directly_ were orange blocks. "Huh. If I land _on_ those, it'll take a couple feet off the fall." There was no other choice, really. Climbing down, he dangled by his hands from the edge, then dropped.

Climbing down from the blocks, he absently killed pair of charging stalfos, then examined his options. As usual, it was left or right. Choosing right this time brought him to a bed of spikes with a colored switch in the center. _Hope he doesn't think that'll actually trouble me._ An arrow changed the switch, and he went on, making a couple turns and dodging some security beamos to find stairs leading up. According to his map, they would take him back to the room with the hole. Stepping over the now-lowered orange blocks, he continued on his way south, past another pillar.

Unfortunately, this only led him to a second colored switch. A waist-high, spike-topped fence separated it and him from the rest of the room. He considered hitting it out of spite, then sighed and turned away, returning to the hole and the first floor. Taking the left path this time led him to a complicated array of orange and blue blocks that looked almost impossible to navigate. After studying it, however, Link snapped his fingers. _The key was dropping on the orange blocks while raised. If I'd stayed up there, I'd have been able to keep going along them until I reached that staircase over there. Eventually._ Shaking his head, he paused. _First, though, I'm retracing my steps._

It was strange, really. The Eagle's Tower was just as aggravating, if not moreso, than the Face Shrine, but all its obnoxiousness served only to bring the familiar, cynical irritation to Link's mind. For some reason, that deep, furious anger that had come to him last time was absent once more. It almost made Link think that Fade had been on to something, but for many reasons, he wasn't quite ready to face that possibility yet. _Focus, tough guy. Keep your mind on the job. Think about all this long-term shit when you're done._

The treasure chest he'd been unable to reach earlier held a pleasant surprise. Link's Mirror Shield, which had been treated with magic in order to reflect other magic. Taking it up, Link thought back. "The owl told me about what they took. All I'm missing is my boomerang and my fire rod, and Morm lost the first, so... Hoad has my fire rod." He shook his head. "Why am I not surprised he liked that." With some effort, he managed to get his ordinary shield into his pack; it was technically redundant now, but he didn't want to just leave it.

Once that had been managed, he took up the Mirror Shield and returned to the entrance, and the left path. With the blocks down, he found a chest containing the piece of the stone slab, and yet another staircase to the second floor. There, the hall led north and south, north being through one of the strange, one-way mechanical doors. The way south looked obviously more innocuous, so Link went north, stepping through the strange door with only a moment of hesitation. His reward was flying tiles, ones which actually left holes in the floor when they rose.

Once those had been fended off, Link hurdled the holes and went east, to find a dead-end with another load-bearing pillar in it. Checking his map, he frowned. "This one's to the west of the first one I found... so there's probably one more, south of here." He sighed. "Not that that actually helps me any." After a moment of trying and failing to come up with alternatives, he returned to the flying tile room, dropped down below (fortunately, onto a raised blue block) and made the long trip back to the other side of the one-way door. Only once he'd arrived did he realized he'd forgotten to look at the complete stone slab on the way. Muttering curses, he went south.

"Hello again, the Link," Angish greeted him. The hulking Lord was standing in the center of a room with several holes in the floor already.

"Oh, hi, Angish," Link replied just as casually. "This again, huh?"

"Yes," Angish said after a moment. "Should it be something else again?"  
"I..." Link began to make a joke about chess, then paused. "Yeah. You know what, no. Let's just get this over with."

"Okay." Water fell from the ceiling, dousing Angish as he swelled and grew into his cycloptic form once more. He immediately began throwing bombs, only to catch an arrow in the eye. Roaring, he stumbled back.

"Weren't expecting that one, were you, big guy?" Link asked, notching another one and letting it fly.

"You can't do that!" Angish bellowed angrily. "You didn't do that last time! You can't do that this time!"

"See, that's the difference between you and me," Link explained. "You never change, Angish. You never learn. I do. I beat you down like this before, but you're trying the exact same thing again. It's not going to work."

"Oh yeah?" Angish roared, lumbering across the room after him at a surprisingly fast pace, much quicker than he had the previous time. Link tried to run, but he had to dodge around the pits, while Angish simply stepped over them, apparently knowing where they were even without seeing. "Not going to get my foot stuck again, the Link!" Link switched to his sword when the brute got close, hacking at his gut, but Angish kept coming regardless, picking Link up in his massive hand and squeezing like a vise. "Time to die, the Link. Time for me to crush you!"

"Told you the first time," Link choked out, managing to grab his hookshot. "I'm bad at being crushed." He fired it at Angish's jaw, and the mechanical spearhead slammed forth, forcing Angish's head back and rattling his skull even as it pierced the flesh around his throat. Reeling, the cyclops dropped him, and Link took advantage of the moment. Instead of fleeing, he aimed a whirling blade strike at the throat wound.

His blade slashed through, barely missing the tree-trunk spinal column, but it was enough. Angish's head wasn't quite severed, but it hung backwards, upside down over his rear, as he exploded in flashes of light. His shadow departed without another word, despite giving the impression of glaring in fury, leaving a fairy behind as always. Its magic healed Link's bruises and breaks, and he continued on to the east. Passing by the spiked fence with the colored switch on the other side, he found a staircase leading up.

"About freaking time. Goddesses, I just hope this one's simpler." He shook his head as he climbed, amused at his own foolishness. "Yeah, right. And maybe Greeper will just give his Instrument up without a fight, too." He immediately smacked face-first into a line of raise blue blocks. "Case in point." Descending the stairs, he threw a bomb over the fence to activate the switch, then returned. Cleaning up a couple of iron masked critters, he glanced at the halls leading north and west, then chose the latter; north led to a bridge over a massive pit, one that looked none too safe.

Of course, after cleaning up a couple of flying-flower peahats in the west room, the only way to go was north from there as well, across an identical bridge. Sighing, Link stepped onto it, and was relieved when it showed no signs of collapsing, despite the frighteningly thin stonework. Crossing it, he found his way blocked by raised orange blocks. _Huh. No switches so far on this floor. Can't get up here at all with those down. Guess I have to go the other way._ Returning to the first bridge, he crossed that one as well. _Let's see what's behind door number two._

"Greetings once again, boy," Greeper called down as Link entered the room. The old Lord was perched on a ledge high above Link, much too far up for him to have any hope of reaching. The door onward was behind him as well, and another steel sphere, like the one Fade had used against him so threateningly, lying discarded in a corner. "You're lucky that fool Hoad decided it was an opportune moment to stage a coup. Otherwise, your lover would be vulture food by now." He shrugged. "Of course, knowing Hoad, perhaps he'll become irritated with her and simply throw her off the mountain himself."

"Doubt it," Link lied, fighting a chill in his veins at that suggestion. "I'll have to thank Hoad when I see him, right in the face, then. Speaking of thanks, I appreciate you coming out here early. Here I thought I'd have to climb the tower all the way to the top to find you. I hope you're not going to just use a half-assed form. I've got my hopes up that I'll be able to get your instrument early and be back in time for a nap before dinner."

"I'm afraid I'll have to disappoint you." Greeper shook his head in mock-pity. "Even _if_ my instrument were in the room behind me, you would be unable to claim it. I've been watching your progress, and I'm not surprised you made it this far. But this is it. Your last hope of being able to climb further just died. There is, plain and simple, no way for you to continue on."

"Could be," Link replied, thoughts racing. _Shit. He's right. There's literally no way to get past this setup from this side._ "Could be not. I'm not out of ideas just yet."

"Try any feeble thought that enters your head, boy," Greeper frowned down on him. "It will avail you naught. That cretin Hoad may have ruined my first plan, but this is just as airtight. You'll never get through here! Take this, then, if you still doubt it!" He threw a horned key down to Link, who caught it out of the air. "It doesn't even matter if you have that. You'll never be able to use it."

"Did you just come down here to brag, then?" Link asked, raising an eyebrow and pocketing the key.

"Hardly. I _could_ simply let you wander around here forever, but I decided it would be best to put you out of your misery." Greeper stretched out his arms as the wind began to pick up, suddenly blowing with enough force to slam Link to one wall. Greeper was even more affected; the old man's flesh actually began tearing from his body under the gale, shredded like paper and blown away. Muscle and organ tissue followed, along with most of his clothes, until all that remained was a small, warped skeleton clad in rags, crouching on four unnaturally long limbs. Instead of a toothy grin, his mouth was a set of insect's pincers, and his eye sockets held glowing dots of golden light.

"I have to say, that's not really very impressive-looking," Link commented. "Are you going to come down, then?"

"You assume you can kill me, without any knowledge whatsoever of my capabilities?" Greeper laughed. "No wonder Hoad chose you! You're as stupid as he is! You're right about one thing, I'll admit-there's no point in dragging this out. All right, boys, get this fool out of my face!" From his rags, he pulled a flute, and began blowing an eerie, whistling tune on it. As the music filled the air, the goggle-eyed bats that had helped him kidnap Fade and Marin flew in from behind him. They hovered overhead, forming the shape of a single giant bat again, then began charging Link, one at a time.

"This isn't very impressive either!" Link met them with his sword, cutting them out of the sky. Their flight speed made it impossible to nail each one, of course, but he managed to sidestep most of the ones he missed. Only a few actually managed to sink their fangs into him before flying away once more. When all of them had swooped down, half of them were lying dead on the floor. "Couple more passes should clear this up. Hope you're ready to do it yourself."

"I wouldn't be too sure about that, boy," Greeper said smugly as glowing white powder began scattering from their wings. It covered the dead bats, and they stirred, their wounds sealing completely. Wings flapping once more, every one of them returned to the air, rejoining their comrades. "My boys are far from being ordinary blood-drinkers, I'm afraid!"

"So it seems." Link narrowed his eyes. Pulling his bow and arrow suddenly, he fired at Greeper, but a bat intercepted the projectile, shielding its master with its life.

"Ha!" Greeper continued playing the flute's song, and the bats repeated their attack flight. Once more, Link tried chopping at them, but he was still unable to get them all. Just like before, when the attacks were done, the fallen bats returned to life, and the entire company hovered above him menacingly. "Is that all you've got?" The old lord asked, voice dripping scorn, as the bats took up a different formation, this time circling Link from above on all sides. "Let's see some of your 'ideas' for this, brat!"

Link didn't dignify that with a response, concentrating on fending off the attack while he thought about that exact subject. _How_ am _I going to win this one?_ _It looks like the revival magic is coming from the other bats, not Greeper, so if I can kill them all at once, maybe they'll stay dead. But how am I gonna do that?_ Whirling blade strikes allowed him to attack those coming from behind, but even then, more slipped past to take a bite out of him than he wanted. By the time the wave had ended, he was bleeding from more than a dozen wounds.

_The only other way is to take out Greeper._ Link narrowed his eyes, staring up at the skeletal Lord. _But if I aim for him, a bat will just block it... wait a second..._ Another onslaught of bats was coming. He fought back as effectively as possible, but this time, as soon as they began reviving their fallen members, he took up his bow and arrow and began unloading on Greeper, firing as rapidly as quickly as possible.

"Fool!" Greeper continued playing without twitching or budging an inch. "My boys never grow tired of taking one for the team! Especially since it's far from permanent!"

_That's what I'm counting on,_ Link thought, but didn't say it aloud. The bats continued to shield Greeper with their bodies in single-minded devotion, over and over, until every single one of them had fallen. Only then did Greeper stop and stare, flabbergasted.

"You... you killed them! You killed my boys!" The old Lord shrieked. "How dare you! You're dead, human! The moment you step out of this Tower, I'll kill you on the spot! Your only alternative is an eternity in this hopeless tower! Wander in here without a prayer for as long as you wish! All that awaits you beyond it now is death!" Before Link could attack again, he darted backwards through the door behind him and was gone.

"Shit." Link shook his head, glancing at the steel sphere. "Didn't even manage to nail him. Maybe I should have... nah, there was no way I could throw it that high." Turning around, he began trudging back to the stairs. _Looks like my only hope's that stone slab. It had better be a good one, or I'm out of luck._ It took quite a while to work his way back to that room and insert the slab. "The riddle is solved when the pillars fall?" He blinked, then glanced over at one of the nearby support columns. After a moment, he checked his map as well.

"Those are those really flimsy bridges, up there. The pillars are holding them up." Link noted. "And the fourth floor is only four rooms... directly above those columns. If I knock those down... well, _something_ should happen. Quite possibly, me dying horribly. But I'm out of options. That just leaves the question of _how_ to break them down. Even bombs would take all day..." He snapped his fingers. "That steel sphere up on the third. If that thing can put dents in walls, it can bring those crashing down. Of course, this means I have to go all the way _back_ up there, and _then _back here."

One rather mind-numbing slog later, he made it back to the first pillar, hauling the sphere over his head. As he was about to throw it at the architecture with all his might, he paused. "Wait. This is the closest one to the exit. I'm going to want to get out of here fast." He walked past it to the second one and hurled the ball straight at it. It hit with a crash and bounced off, smashing a massive chunk of stone out of the pillar. The entire thing came down over the next few moments, along with several chunks from above, which Link blocked with his shield.

When the tower was done shaking, he looked up and saw that the bridge overhead was now slanted dangerously. Whether that was a good sign or not, he wasn't prepared to say. Instead, he took the sphere south and threw it over the spiked fence, then went all the way around, past where he'd fought Angish, to pick it up again. Shoving it through the one-way door device before him, he brought it to the third pillar and demolished it, producing a similar effect. Only then did he recall that he'd never actually found the fourth one.

"Map says there should be a room south of here, but I've been on all four sides of it, and there's no way in." Link narrowed his eyes. "The hard way it is, then." He rapped on the south wall with his sword until he found a place where it was thin, and set a bomb, blowing open a hole. Inside the room, the fourth pillar was indeed there. Link knocked it down, then returned to the first. Taking a deep breath, he smashed it and immediately jumped down to the first floor, then bolted for the entrance as fast as his boots could carry him.

As soon as the pillar had begun to fall, the entire tower had started shaking much more violently than the other three. The pieces of rubble raining down were larger and more frequent as well. Dashing out the front door, Link turned around and looked up once he was clear. The upper portion of the Eagle's Tower was effectively collapsing in upon itself, shrinking like a retractable telescope. Pieces of it were falling outside as well, but he was standing well-clear. It went on for several minutes, and when it was done, a good twelve feet or so had been lost from the top, if Link was any judge. He was also remarkably un-killed, despite Greeper's threats.

"Guess the demolition distracted him. I'd better go see how my little home improvement project went over before he comes on down." Link smirked evilly, rubbing his hands together, as he reentered. It turned out that the first and second floors had weathered the changes with little to no damage, but when he returned to the third, it was like an entirely different building. As far as he could tell, the fourth floor had fallen onto the third in its entirety, and the corresponding portions of the third to the second-he _had_ seen an unusually high amount of wreckage in the rooms where the pillars had stood.

The new rooms had two levels, the lower one he was on and a mezzanine above those. Like the perch Greeper had stood on, it was far too high for him to reach, but he could see the locked door up there that probably led to the top. Rather than despair, though, Link instead moved west, to where colored blocks had barricaded his path before. Said blocks had been smashed in the reconstruction, and he moved past freely, heading north to where two more flimsy bridges had presumably been. At the eastern room of the two, he climbed a ramp up to the mezzanine, circled around again, and opened the door with the horned key. The stairs behind it led up and out.

To Link's vast relief, the weather didn't look grim when he came out. It was white and foggy, making it difficult to see very far, but that was vastly preferable to the thunderstorm he'd been halfway expecting. He walked out onto a ledge that went all the way around the tower, which looked to be about twenty feet across at this height. A metal ladder led up to the roof, and Link climbed it without hesitation to find Greeper waiting for him, still in his skeletal form.

"_You_," Greeper hissed, eyes glowing with hatred. "You attack my family, you kill my pack, you threaten everything I've spent centuries building on this island, and now you demolish my _home?_ It's just never enough for you, is it, hero?"

"Hey, the remodeling thing was _not_ my idea." Link said, raising an eyebrow. "You were the one who set it up that way, old man. I wouldn't have done that if I didn't have to." He smirked. "Would it help if I apologized?

"Bah! Spare me your sarcasm!" Greeper raised his flute once more. "Time to pay the piper, fool. I'll make you wish you'd never been born!" The tune was different this time, hollow and haunting, and it filled the endless sky like a natural background sound, as if it had always been there and always would be. The sky darkened, as if something was blotting out the sun. Link lunged at Greeper with his sword, but he was too late.

The beast was a bird-that much couldn't be argued. The question was as to what _kind_ of bird it was; it had the head of a vulture, but its beak and plumage more resembled that of an eagle. Whichever it was, however, it was as large as any of the other Nightmares. Landing neatly in front of Link, it didn't even regard him at first, turning its head to its master instead as Greeper leaped onto its back. Only then did it fix Link with a predatory stare before taking off once more to the sound of Greeper's insane laughter.

"Double shit." Link watched it circle the tower, high above. Readying his bow and arrow, he tried firing, but only a few of the wooden shafts actually found their target, and those bounced off harmlessly. _What's this thing made of? Solid steel feathers?_ He blinked as it turned to face him, parking in the air like a hummingbird, and began beating its wings like fans. Instantly, gale-force winds began to blow, forcing Link towards the edge. He struggled against them mightily, only to yelp and flinch as something sliced his cheek. He barely managed to regain his footing in time.

Bringing up his mirror shield, Link held it in front of him to block against further damage. When the eagle ceased its efforts and began circling again, he saw what had struck him. Loose feathers were scattered on the towertop, stiff and hard as knives, some of them actually embedded in it. _I didn't _mean_ it, dammitall!_ He looked up to see the eagle charging him, coming in faster than a flying arrow. He jumped aside, but was still buffeted by a wing that slammed him aside like a punch from Angish would have. He tried a counterattack, but it was already out of reach of his sword.

"You still think you have a chance?" Greeper screamed from the eagle's back. "Fool! Give up! Accept your mistakes, repent your rebellion against us, and I will give you a swift death! Your only other option is to be torn apart bit by bit! You have no hope!"

"Lad!" Another voice reached Link's ears, from behind. The owl's voice. "Reach up and grab hold! Quickly!"

"You," Link said quietly, recognizing it. He stretched up his arm, clasping the great owl's talons, and it lifted him into the air with what had to be magical strength. Dangling perilously, Link flew, carried by the bird into the skies after Greeper and his monster. His thoughts raced, seeking a suitable weapon, and finding one. Sheathing his sword, he dug into his pack with his free hand and produced the hookshot instead. Aiming carefully, he fired it, and the chain spear shot out, sinking into the eagle's flank before returning to him, soaked in its blood.

"Even better!" Greeper howled, not hearing the eagle's squawk of pain. "I will be rid of both of you at once, and we will be unopposed on Koholint forever!" Taking the eagle into a u-turn, he flew straight at them, only for Link to shoot again, this time at the eagle's face. He was unable to take an eye, but the hit still knocked the monster's course off, and the owl was able to dodge.

"Should that beast strike us so, even once, I will likely be crippled, lad," The owl warned him. "Twice, and I will almost certainly be killed. Can you make that shot with certainty every time they attempt it?"

"Count on it," Link promised, striking the eagle once more as soon as they were in range. Again Greeper tried to rush them, and again Link was able to drive the monster off course by hitting its face. Screeching, the eagle tried again almost immediately of its own volition, and came close, but another counterattack at the last moment allowed them to slip away from the ripping beak and gouging talons unharmed.

When the eagle turned to face them again, it was hovering in the air once more. Before Link could hit it, it began flapping its wings, and he was forced to switch out his hookshot for the mirror shield. Hooting unhappily, the owl tried to keep up, but was unsuccessful, and ended up being sent spiraling wildly out of control. Unable to maintain his sense of direction, Link was gouged by flying feathers as well. By the time they were out of range of the wind and regained their stability, the eagle was coming towards them at high speed once more.

Link's hookshot attack came too late. He hit the beast just to the side of its right eye, but even though it flinched, its massive bulk still collided with them headlong. Despite their efforts, Link and the owl both released their grips, the former smashed away into the sky. At the last moment, Link managed to grab the eagle's back as well, screaming in pain as the razor-bladed feathers dug into his hands. As soon as he was upright, he let go and lunged at Greeper.

"How dare you!" The skeletal Lord shrieked, trying to fend Link off with his bony limbs and failing miserably. Link's sword tore into him, and he screamed, sliced from shoulder to hip in one strike, fragile bones splitting easily. Only his spine held him together, but before Link could slash again, the eagle's head turned and snapped at him, forcing him from its back. He fell through the sky, but only for a moment; the owl found him again, clutching his horribly bleeding hand and hoisting him up once more.

"I cannot take much more of this, lad," The owl warned him, wheezing, as they pursued the eagle through the air again.

"Neither can they," Link replied grimly, watching the eagle prepare for its windstorm once more. Instead of taking out his shield, he readied the hookshot, taking careful aim before firing. The gale blasted him and the feathers cut him, but only for moments, before the chain spear finally found the eagle's eye. Its screech rang through the heavens as it froze, shocked out of the attack. Before it could regain its senses, Link and the owl were soaring up to its blind side. It began to soar once more, but now they were alongside it.

Link's hookshot struck the eagle again and again. With the loss of its eye, its ability to dodge the strikes was completely gone, and it was unable to shake them in order to attack again. When it turned to attack head-on, Link simply continued to strike, and before it could reach them, it went into a final, fatal dive. Attempting to save itself by landing on the roof of the Eagle's Tower, it failed even at this and crashed head-first, skidding across the length before coming to a halt. Twitching weakly a few times, it ceased to move, and died.

The owl brought Link down for a much gentler landing, and he released its talons, walking over to the eagle's corpse. There, he found Greeper, pinned under its side. The skeletal Lord was clearly dying as well, gasping in pain. After a moment, the owl landed next to him, remaining silent. Greeper stared at the bird for a moment before turning his gaze on Link instead, who met it firmly, watching him die without any more moves to help or hurt.

"I lost..." The Lord whispered, clearly in hideous pain. "But you will lose everything as well, if you continue. Everything here is part of the Wind Fish's dream. Kill Hoad as well, and you will have your wish granted. Freedom from the dream, at the price of everything and everyone here. You will lose them all... no. You will _kill_ them all, for your own selfish desire to escape. The dream will die, and we will all die with it. Do it, fool, if you want it so badly. Kill us all, and go on living alone, with your bloodstained hands."

Greeper's breathing stopped then, and the light in his eyes sockets faded. A moment later, the warped skeleton began to fragment, the bones falling apart into something like scraps of paper, or fallen leaves. The wind picked up, and peeled him apart, a hundred flimsy pieces of bone blown away on the breeze until nothing remained but the dead bird. Link stared at it for a moment more, then lanced at the owl.

"Lad?" The owl asked quietly. "Have you made a decision?"

"Grim Creeper," Link said flatly, turning away and watching the shadow flinch. "Thank Fade, Grim Creeper. Never would have gotten that one without his help, Grim Creeper." He repeated the name until the Lord was gone, then turned back to the owl. "Don't start. I appreciate the help, but I don't want to have this conversation. Not now."

"Very well." The owl hooted resignedly. "But you will have to choose, lad, and do so soon. To remain here too long without doing so is to lose yourself to resignation, and on this island, that is a permanent affliction." He took off into the sky, and Link watched him leave, silent and grim as he considered the bird's words.

Once the owl was gone, Link climbed back down a second ladder on the other side of the tower from the first and entered the room at the bottom. The fountain set there was like a dust devil, a super-concentrated tiny tornado that Link gave a wide berth. Beyond it was the altar, and on that, an instrument like a miniature piano. It was small enough to be set on a player's lap, but still seemed to contain all its keys, tiny things thinner than Link's fingers set in an oak base.

"The Evening Calm." Link read its name quietly, then allowed the white light to take him back to the base of the Eagle's Tower. The sun was not quite setting, but it was growing near the horizon. Looking at it, Link held up his right arm. Hoad's brand was still there, smiling at him. After a moment, he lowered his arm and turned away, beginning the journey back to Lingo's house.

* * *

"Feeling better?" Hoad asked with a cocky smirk, seeing Fade enter the room. It was, of course, blazing hot, but so was everywhere inside Turtle Rock. Its master sat on a stone chair as if it were soft leather, working his way through a pitcher of beer with the assistance of Gie, who sat nearby.

"Yeah, all healed up," Fade said, stretching his arms behind him as he joined them. "Glad to see you're treating Marin okay. How long are you going to keep her here? This isn't a healthy place for humans."

"Not too much longer now." Hoad shrugged, glancing at Gie. "How were we gonna do it again?"

"Sliyes will take her out of here, once he gets back from the Egg," She explained. "He's going to have to work to make up for all the slacking off he's been doing lately, before the real show starts over here."

"Sliyes, huh." Fade's eyes narrowed as he thought that over. "Well, I guess that's better than what Greeper was pulling. I can live with that."

"I would comment that I heard that, if either of us was under the slightest delusion that I cared about your opinion of me," Greeper called from another door as he entered. The old lord stomped over to join them, obviously in a bad mood. "As it is, let's cut to the chase. My pet is dead, and this stronghold is the last one to be breached. I hope you're happy, Hoad. Shall we call the others to join us for this discussion?"

"Nah, why bother?" Hoad tilted his head to one side. "We've got all the upper level here. The rest of 'em just follow orders."

"Should I take that as my cue to leave?" Gie asked, starting to stand.

"Give us a break." Fade shook his head. "We've all figured it out by now, Gie. What a coincidence that every time things started getting out of hand, you just so happened to be there to nudge somebody else, huh? Sit back down."

"Guilty as charged." Gie said, flashing a smile for a moment. "I'll sit in, but don't expect much. Like you just pointed out, acting directly isn't my style."

"No sweat." Hoad glanced over at Greeper. "Well, old man? Let's hear the logic angle of things, first off."

"Simple enough for even you to grasp, in this case," Greeper replied crankily. "I suggest that we throw as much in his way as we can, while still retaining enough power for our final contingency plan. At the moment, you and Sliyes are the only ones at full power. The rest of us will all be at half by tomorrow."

"And I'm gonna need all of mine for the big one." Hoad nodded. "About what I figured. So we'll have Sliyes handle the warm-up on the kid's way here. Give him a double-shot. How about once he comes in? Crunch the numbers. Say everybody goes a round. We still going to have enough left after?"

"I'd prefer not to cut it so close," Fade said, muttering calculations under his breath. "In terms you'd understand, Hoad... '200%' power was technically the bare minimum, last we checked." He smirked as Greeper winced upon hearing the number. "But that was a long time ago and circumstances might have changed. There's all sorts of variables. If it's all the same to you guys, I'd suggest we bump it up to '225%', just to be on the safe side. After all, if we try it and it doesn't work, we're screwed at that point."

"Huh." Hoad met Greeper's gaze. "Guess the Twin Freaks can just go once together, then. You better not be up to something here, _boss._"

"You caught me. I'm intentionally trying to make it _more_ likely for him to kill us all, including myself." Fade rolled his eyes. "Oh, wait. Popular consensus says that's more likely to be _your_ plan than mine, Hoad."

"He's got you there." Gie giggled. "What gets me is that you _still_ don't seem like you regret bringing him here, even now, with the end of our world coming towards your doorstep. Doesn't the possibility of losing everything mean _anything_ to you?"

"That's just not the way my screwed-up brain works, kiddo," Hoad leaned back, smirking. "Way I see it, if I can't gamble with what I've got, it doesn't mean a thing. Before the kid came along, there wasn't a damn thing here that we couldn't shut down whenever we wanted. No threats, no risks, nothing _interesting_ for far too freakin' long. Nothing changed here. Nothing ever did, nothing ever would. When I saw that kid, though? I knew he could do it. He'd try his damnedest to ruin us, and maybe even do it. No way in hell I could pass that one up. And as far as I'm concerned, these last two weeks have been more fun than the entire rest of this joint."

"And now?" Greeper asked after a moment.

"Now?" Hoad's eyes flickered, red and full of life. "Now, it's time to start the party. You'd better be ready to pull out all the stops. We're sure as hell gonna need them. You want to keep this place around? Then let's give that kid one hell of a show."


	13. Chapter 12: Fire Fighter

_**Chapter 12: Fire Fighter **_

_Dream the same thing every night _

_I see our freedom in my sight_

Lingo was letting his hens out to wander around. They were remarkably smart for cuccos, never straying too far from the house. On the one occasion that a predatory tektite was stupid enough to try and pick one of them off, the entire flock immediately swarmed it like piranhas, leaving the corpse in front of the house, apparently as a prize for their owner. The flying Rooster observed their play from the skies, flapping happily overhead the entire time without any need for rest.

"You know something, kid?" Lingo said as he watched the cuccos carefully. "You're completely insane. Just so you got that." The two men were sitting on the porch, watching the sun come up while they ate their breakfast. As before, Lingo had spent almost as much time telling Link that he was doing all the work as he did helping out. Afterward, he had requested to be told what had happened at the Eagle's Tower. It seemed he was regretting that question now.

"I'll take that as a compliment." Link replied. He didn't really appreciate being awakened so early, but it made sense; today wasn't going to be an easy day, by any means. "I might be crazy, but if I am, it's in a way that's worked so far. I'm winning. That's good enough in my book."

"Not sure how I feel about a crazy guy rescuing my favorite niece," Lingo continued to mutter, then shrugged. "It's not like anybody else is going to, though. Hell, _I'm_ sure not, even if she's my favorite niece. My _only_ niece, too." He shook his head slowly. "Hoad lives west of here, at Turtle Rock. "You're on your own for that place. _I've_ sure never been there. The only people Hoad brings to this island are warriors, and they always want to fight him sooner or later, so they head up there. None of 'em have ever come back. Not too hard to figure that one out."

"Met his type before," Link explained, unconcerned. "Killed them before. Just hope I'm reading his type right. If I am, he'll _want_ me to come, so he won't lock his front door. I'd prefer not to have to hunt down another key just to get in. That's always a pain in the ass."

"Listen to you." Lingo chuckled, sounding irritated but amused. "My favorite niece is being held hostage, and you're going on about keys." Producing a cigar, he lit it, staring off into the west. "So, say you beat Hoad. What then?"

"I'm still not entirely sure," Link admitted. He hadn't told Lingo about the secret of the Wind Fish Shrine, but he hadn't really danced around the issue either, and the older man probably had a pretty good guess. "I'm kind of planning on figuring that out when I get there."

"Just don't take too long doing that when you do, then," Lingo advised him. "We made that mistake back in Hyrule, when King Gerald knocked off his brother to take the throne. By the time we made our decision to run for it, there were already soldiers on their way to arrest us for supporting King Richard. We made it to the harbor one step ahead of them."

"Sounds like a bad... wait." Link froze. History hadn't exactly been number one on the list of things he'd learned from his uncle, but he knew the names of the last three Kings, and none of them had been named Gerald or Richard. That covered the entire previous century, and he was certain there hadn't been a civil war in that time, either. It was like the last piece of the puzzle, a piece he hadn't even known was missing, had been dropped into place suddenly. "Lingo. How long have you been on this island?"

"Wondered if you'd pick up on that." Lingo smirked grimly. "Should have known you would. I don't know the exact number. After a while, it all blends together, and keeping track just kind of stops feeling important. My guess, though, is that it's been more than two hundred years since me, Tarin and Marin all washed up here. Just one more funny thing about this place-nobody ages. We don't get sick, either. It's probably something to do with how our hearts don't work. I'm assuming you already figured that one out."

"Yeah, a couple days ago," Link said quietly, mind racing. Before he could begin to come to terms with the new information, however, both he and Lingo heard something that caught their attention. A woman's voice, shouting for help, coming from the west. "Is that..."

"Yeah!" Lingo stood and whistled. The flying rooster immediately descended, and the three of them ran to the west. As soon as they were over a ridge, they saw her.

"Help! Uncle Lingo!" Marin was yelling. She was standing in the middle of what had been a rope-and-plank bridge. The only section remaining was the one she stood nervously on, the rest having been knocked out. "Link, you came! Help me, please!" Clutching the ropes, she almost fell back, and yelped. "Oh Farore, help! The Lords put me up here! I _hate_ heights!"

"I'm coming, kid!" Lingo yelled, grabbing the rooster.

"Wait!" Link stopped him. "He can't carry both of you, and there's no room on that bridge for you to stand while he grabs Marin." He narrowed his eyes as thunderclouds suddenly began roaring in. "Not to mention, this looks like a trap. I don't want him flying across. He's good, but he's not exactly quick."

"You got any better ideas then, hero boy?" Lingo snapped, dropping back to the ground. "We have to get her off there soon!"

"A couple." Link aimed his hookshot carefully at one of the posts on the far side the ropes were tied to. "Don't scream, Marin!" The device fired, anchored, and pulled him across the chasm. As he passed by Marin, he grabbed her around the waist with his free arm, and the two of them landed on the other side.

"Well," Marin said after a moment, wide-eyed. "That was a surprise. Thank you, Link. But _never, ever_ do that to me again-look out!" She pointed to a nearby peak as lightning struck it, the bolt strangely continuing to linger for more than a moment.

"Knew it." Link raised his shield, just in time, as a crossbow's bolt bounced off it, and turned to the peak. "Knew you'd show up soon. It's been a while, kid."

"That it has, hero," Sliyes replied calmly, glasses shining, as the lightning continued to surge down into the crossbow he had fired even before it was finished materializing. A moment later, the bolt dissipated at last, and rain began to fall, pouring down on them both. The little Lord showed no signs of caring about the weather, smiling cockily. "I had other matters to attend to, but that's out of the way now, and we're all out of time to play with you for our own amusement. This is _our_ island, hero boy, and you will _never_ take it from us."

"Try to stop me." Link deflected another bolt with the mirror shield, then used the hookshot to return fire. Unfortunately, Sliyes easily sidestepped it before firing again at Link's feet, reloading his weapon nearly instantly. Scowling, Link jumped away, then blocked the next shot at his head. Another hookshot strike proved just as ineffective. _All right, let's try it your way, then. I've got more options now than I did with Greeper._ As soon as he deflected Sliyes's next shot, he lowered his shield just long enough to fire an arrow of his own, then raised it again.

"Hmph!" Sliyes snorted derisively, scampering a little down the peak. The arrow only took off a few strands of his hair. "Closer, but still not good enough!" He kept firing his own bolts, one of them managing to nick Link's elbow. "Ha! First blood!"

"Free advice from a pro, junior," Link said as he moved closer to Sliyes, all the way to the edge of the cliffside he was standing on top of. "It's _last_ blood you should be thinking about." He aimed his next arrow a little to the left this time before firing.

"What were you aiming at?" Sliyes jeered as he dodged to the right, avoiding the shot entirely. "A bush?" Link chose to ignore that one, aiming to the left again the next time. When Sliyes dodged, it was also to the left, and the arrow hit him in the arm. To the little Lord's credit, he didn't scream, only gritting his teeth and taking a moment to pull the wooden shaft out. Link, of course, took that moment of hesitation to nail him a second time, this time in the chest. Hissing, Sliyes fired a bolt at Link before pulling out this one, and by the time Link had fired back, he was on the move again.

"You learn fast," Link called out, yelping a little as a bolt shot by his head. _That was a close one. His aim's no joke._ Despite everything he'd been through, it still made him flinch a little to shoot something that _looked_ like a child, but it was at least better than using his sword-he didn't have to feel the hits. He tried another hookshot attack, just to keep Sliyes on his toes, then went back to the bow and arrows after that had been evaded. _Too slow, even at this distance._ Deflecting another bolt, he aimed to Sliyes' right, and once more, the Lord "dodged" straight into it.

"Damn you!" Spewing curses, Sliyes removed the bolt from his chest like he had the others, keeping up his own offensive as well.

"Shit," Link grunted, a bolt finding his foot and pinning it to the ground. Fortunately, Sliyes was intent on his own injury at the moment, so he was able to snap the bolt off and put his defense back up before he was shot again. _Good thing I'm blocking more than dodging, but I won't be able to move much like this. If that second arrow didn't take him out, it'll take more than more to do it. Should have known that body's not weaker than the others just because he's a kid._ He tried for a headshot, but Sliyes had apparently had a similar line of thought, and jerked his head away when he dodged.

"Nice try, hero!" The little Lord shouted. "I may not be able to tell where you're firing in this rain, but I can guess what you'll aim at when you do!"

"Always knew you were a sharp one, Sliyes!" Link yelled back, blocking more bolts. _Keep pumping them into his torso until I finally bring him down? I'd never last that long. More limb shots to disable him? Doubt they'd do much. But if they did at least a little..._ Returning fire, Link aimed his arrows lower now, towards Sliyes' legs. The first one missed, as Sliyes went in the opposite direction, but the other struck his right leg. _Good. Now I just have to get the other one-OW!_ A bolt had lodged in his bicep. Muttering curses, he switched his shield to that hand, barely managing to hold it up while he removed the bolt with his other.

"How much longer will you be able to fight?" Sliyes asked mockingly. "Certainly not as long as I can. Is that your great plan? To try and wear me down, arrow by arrow? Pathetic! I expected better of you, but perhaps I shouldn't have. After all, you're only human. Lest you forget, we are something far greater!" He yelped as an arrow found his other leg.

"Wrong." The instant the arrow hit, Link threw himself to the side, abandoning the mirror shield to dodge the next bolt instead, and pull a bomb from his pack. While Sliyes turned his attention to the arrow in his calf, Link stuck the bomb onto an arrow, lit it, and fired.

"Huh?" Sliyes looked up, too late. He tried to jump away, but though his legs managed to keep him standing, they were still less responsive. "Oh, _no!_"

"Your bodies might be stronger than humans-no human child could keep standing with one wounded leg, let alone both," Link admitted as the explosion blasted Sliyes to pieces, leaving a crater with dissolving chunks of darkness strewn about it. "But they still follow the same basic rules. Should have thought of that."

"Feh!" Sliyes's shadow stood back up as the rain began to die out, the stormclouds receding as soon as they'd come. "All right, fine, hero. That's round one to you. You know where to go for the next!" He flitted off to the west.

"That kid irritates me." Link looked up to see the rooster flying over to him, a fairy in tow. "Did it again, huh? Thanks, buddy. I appreciate it." As the fairy healed him, he glanced around. "Marin? Are you still here?"

"I'm over here," Marin called from the other side of the chasm. "The rooster brought me over here while you were fighting him." Lingo was standing next to her, looking somewhat startled, but he didn't speak up.

"Good. I'm glad you're safe." Link met her eyes, and neither of them spoke for several moments. They both started to, several times, but were unable to actually do so. Eventually, he glanced away. "I'd better get going, then. I've... really got to take care of Hoad today, even if..." He trailed off then, leaving the rest unsaid.

"I know." Marin said, just as uncertain. "When you're done with him, though... I'll see you soon, right?"

"Yeah."

"All right." She hesitated, as if wanting to say something more, then turned as well. "Can I stay at your place today, Uncle?"

"Yeah, but that means he's not, if you're still here when he gets back," Lingo muttered. "Only got the one guest bed, and I'm not having anything going on under my roof."

"Goddesses," Link growled. Marin's response, somewhat surprisingly, was coarser. Resisting the urge to tease her about that, he turned west. Immediately, his eyes fell upon the owl, who was perched above the mouth of a cavern.

"That girl is a mystery to me," The owl said, watching Marin and Lingo walk away. "Somehow, she learned the Ballad of the Wind Fish before she even came to this island. It seems the song of awakening exists in the outside world as well. She has played it before the egg. Against all logic, I believe that she knew its purpose. It did not work without the instruments, and yet... she tried to wake the Wind Fish."

"What?" Link blinked stupidly. "But if she knew what that would do..." He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. "No. Can't think about all of this. Not here. Not now. I'll figure everything out after I deal with Hoad."

"Indeed." The owl nodded. "As long as your mind is clear, your courage will never fail you. The unliving stones await you to the west, lad, and the Wind Fish waits as well! Good fortune to you!" He began to spread his wings.

"Wait." Link glanced up at him. "Are you okay? After that fight, I mean?"

"Hoot?" The owl stared, surprised. "Ah, yes. I heal quickly."

"Good." Link walked under him into the cave without saying goodbye. It was only a short tunnel; when he emerged on the other side, it was onto a steep hill, with boulders rolling down from above. Dodging one, the swordsman growled obscenities under his breath. "I am going to strangle Hoad with his own hands." Climbing the hillside while dodging boulders was both tedious and irritating, and when he finally reached the top to kill the pigmen responsible, he found a hole in the ground with a door set in it.

"Yeah, this is _just_ what my day needed." Against his actual wishes, Link opened it, climbed into the cavern below, and dumped some magic powder into the well. A signpost shot up, reading, "OUT OF ORDER." He only had a moment to ponder that, before he heard a sound slowly growing louder from behind him. He dove to the floor just in time as the Mad Batter blasted past, embedding herself in the wall above the well.

"Aha! A burglar!" She pried herself out and grinned down at Link. "You know what we do to burglars around here?"

"Nope." Link got back to his feet and dusted himself off, deciding to try speaking her language this time. "I was hoping you would."

"You too?" She sighed heavily. "Looks like we're out of luck, Chuck. Oh well." She drooped for a moment, then brightened up. "On the minus side, I've been spelunking around here, and it's paid off more than just my bills. Guess who just found a way out of here, and it ain't Bungee the Clown."

"Wait, what?" Link's eyes widened. "You know a way out?"

"Yup! Found a pinhole out of this pocketwatch down near the bottom!" The Mad Batter explained cheerfully. "Course, you'll have to render yourself down to individual molecules to fit through, but you can do that, right?"

"Uh... I don't think so, no." Link shook his head. _Guess I deserved that for getting my hopes up on _this _account._ "You go ahead and have fun with that, though."

"Oh, I _will_," She said with a disturbing chuckle.

"Right." Link deliberately avoided thinking about _that_. "Did you, uh, get through to Hyrule again?"

"Oh yeah yeah yeah, right right right." She pulled the hand mirror out again. It was full of just as much visual and audial interference as before, but this time, there was only one person visible on the other side.

"Li...? Is th... ou?" Zelda asked, and something inside Link went still.

"Zelda," He said quietly, more than a thousand years suddenly flashing through his mind. It had been only a few of them since he'd seen her, but all of that suddenly felt like forever. Something that had grown distant, against his will, during his time on Koholint suddenly exploded back into life with full force. He couldn't see her clearly, and her voice was barely comprehensible, but it was _her_, all the same. "Goddesses, it's been too long."

They'd escaped from Hyrule Castle together, on that long-ago raining night when they'd first met, both of them young and naïve, but still capable of killing all the corrupted Knights of Hyrule that had barred their way. They'd fought back against the Eyes of Ganon, and their mad attempt to escape the Dark World along with their master. They'd killed Ganon himself together, at the end of the adventure, when all had seemed lost. And all of that was just in _this_ life, not even counting the memories of millennia ago, when they'd been entirely different and yet the same.

"Yo... _re_ still... live," Zelda said, the same things apparently running through her mind on the other end of the connection. "Tha... Nayru. Neos... nd Han... old me, b... till wor... d."

"They filled you in, then?" Link slowly nodded. "All right. Listen, Zelda. This thing probably won't be up for much longer, but..." He took a deep breath, as without logic, or reason, or rationale, he suddenly _knew_. Despite everything that had happened, everything that _would_ happen, Zelda was waiting for him. Seeing her, hearing her voice, had brought that all back, made him remember what the first priority always had been and always would be. "I'm getting out of here. I already know how. I just have to pull it off."

"You... ways we... ood at... at," Zelda conceded. Link thought he could see her smile, and that just made it worse. "All... ight. I'l... ake yo... ord for... t. Te... e al... bout... en you... home, okay? I'l... e wa... ing."

"I'll... I'll see you soon, Zelda," Link said after a moment. "I promise." The connection fuzzed out completely, and Link sat down, head in his hands.

"You dead?" The Mad Batter asked after a moment. "Am I in your will?"

"No, I'm just..." Link raised his head to stare at her. "What did I just do? What did I just promise to do? What am I _going_ to do?"

"You're asking me?" The Mad Batter replied, actually sounding serious for a moment. "Nobody asks _me_ questions like that, Link. They can't get the insurance." She shook herself like a wet dog. "Look. It'll all work out. Maybe it won't work out _nice_, and it won't work out _perfect_, and it won't work out how you'd _like_ it to, but it'll work out. Just like it did with Majora. This isn't your story. This is just a filler episode. Watch it once, then forget about it and focus on the main plot." She grinned, baring her fangs. "The writers were probably drunkards anyways."

"Is that supposed to make sense?" Link asked after a long, silent moment.

"Me? Make sense?" The Mad Batter scoffed. "Next you'll be telling me _you_ make sense, boy scout!" Flapping back over to her well, she pulled a huge amount of bags and boxes out of it in only a few seconds, nearly filling the cave. Once they were all piled up, she blasted them with eye-beams, blowing the entire lot up. "Right. I'm packed and stacked. Time for me to get a joke about popsicle stands past the radar and jet."  
"I changed my mind," Link deadpanned. "Stay here with everybody else. You'll have fun."

"Nah, they'll card me any minute now." Turning back to him, she zapped him with the eye-beams next. "There's some liver for your quiver. Means you can carry more arrows in it now. There you go, a subtitle on the house. I'm so nice. Have fun wrecking the joint, I'm over and out." A pair of metal tubes sprouted from the top of her head and blasted fire, propelling her into the floor. Link stared at the hole, then turned and left, not dignifying it with any further response.

Crossing a bridge, he went into another tunnel, and immediately found a sign reading, "Just to make sure you don't try and come here before whacking Greeper. -Hoad." Rounding a corner, he found that somebody had set a device in the far wall that spewed a steady stream of fire. Raising his mirror shield in front of him, Link advanced, fending the flames off until he was able to get past the machine. He considered disabling it, but decided against it-it would probably explode, considering that Sliyes had probably built it. Emerging from the tunnel, he saw his destination awaiting him.

"Turtle Rock." Link muttered. "Yeah, these boys came from the Dark World, all right." It was like a bad memory had come to life. A mound of solid stone rose from the center of a flat clifftop. In the appropriate places, carved representations of claws, a tail and a head protruded, the last blocking a cavernous entrance. Walking over to it, Link narrowed his eyes. "Question is, how to get in. Don't have my Quake Medallion any more."

"That will hardly be necessary." Sliyes' voice hailed him from atop the peak of the shell. "By all means, allow me. Time for round two!" He dived into the top of the head like it was water, and the rock came came to life, turning green and scaly, becoming cold flesh. The turtle's head blinked at Link for a moment, eyes black and empty, then attacked, darting out to snap at him.

"Great." Link tried pitching a lit bomb into the monster's maw, but Sliyes caught it and dropped it back on him, refusing to take the bait. The turtle's head was extending on a snakelike neck, long enough for it to loom over him, blocking out the sun. It would have been very intimidating, if Link hadn't dealt with something similar, but much worse, years ago. Dashing over to the beast's neck, he began chopping methodically at the thick scales as if he was felling a tree. It was slow going, but he drew blood after a couple of hits, and kept going.

"Hey!" Sliyes bent his neck to try and get to Link, but couldn't quite reach him-it didn't extend far enough for him to make a complete turn. "Cut it out!"

"Why?" Link asked, smirking, and continuing to hack at it. "Obvious weak point. You can't stop me from hitting it. Wouldn't exactly be _logical_ for me to just leave it alone. Don't blame me, kid. You're the one who took this form." He was cutting through muscle now, and before long, he found the vein he was looking for. Slicing through it, he backed off as it sprayed pitch-black blood like a geyser.

"You stupid..." Sliyes began to snarl, trailing off weakly as the head slammed into the dirt. The huge eyes closed, and the little Lord's shadow emerged again. "Fine! This was just a warm-up anyways! Come on in-the show's about to start!"

"Why am I not surprised by this." Link sighed, watching him disappear into the entrance. With his power bracelets, he was able to tug the corpse out from the entrance; as he'd suspected, it was actually a giant snake, the "neck" tapering off into a tail eventually. It had been too big to fit on the cliffside if it had fully emerged; once he shoved the head over the edge, the rest followed out into the void. The entrance led down stairs immediately, into the heart of the mountains. Without hesitating even a moment, Link walked down and in.

He emerged, completely unsurprised, into a sweltering inferno. At the end of the hall, two doors led left and right, and beyond them, a bridge led out a short way across a vast, circular pit of boiling lava, stopping before a series of tiny islands. Looking up, Link saw the hole in the ceiling far above the magma, and nodded thankfully, glad the noxious gases would have somewhere to escape instead of filling the dungeon. Even so, he hoped he wouldn't have to actually cross the lava, although his luck generally wasn't that good.

Further thought was stymied as the surface of the lava next to the bridge suddenly burst upward, something from within flying out. It was a red-skinned, bat-winged demon, horned and fanged with glowing yellow eyes. Hovering in the air, it sketched a bow. "Heeeeeeeeeeeey, kid! The name's Vire, and I'm for hire! Hi, how you doing?"

"Oh, really?" Link smirked, amused despite himself, although he kept his hand on his sword. "Interesting thought. Maybe I could use a sidekick. What are your going rates?"

"Sorry, I'm paid up 'til the end of the year. Check back with me then." The demon replied cheerfully. "And on that note, have one on the house!" He spewed a fireball from his mouth as he began fluttering around the room.

"So, you're working for the Lords and Ladies, then?" Link guessed, blocking the fireball and loosing an arrow in response.

"The La-Li-Lu-Le-Lo?" Vire asked as he picked up speed suddenly, dodging the arrow, then slowed down again to fire back. "Take it they're the chumps running this hellhole, and believe me, I know one when I see one. If that's so, that's a no. Just flew in the other night, and boy were my wings tired. Hit this place up for some R&R before I started snooping around, and who strolls in but my bosses' worst nightmare. Way I see my contract, I should probably screw with you a little on their behalf." He spewed another fireball, then suddenly divebombed Link, claws outstretched. "I can bill 'em for it, too!"

"Sounds good." Sidestepping the attack, Link swung at Vire as he passed. "If you're working for enemies of mine, I hope you charge extra for overtime." Sadly, he missed, and the demon's claws raked his shoulder as he blasted past.

"Of course I do." Vire laughed, spitting more fireballs. "What do you take me for? Don't answer that."

"Okay." Link tried a stab this time, and was much more successful, spitting him neatly on his sword.

"Polite, aren't you?" Vire croaked, looking remarkably cheerful for somebody who had just been impaled. "I like that in a hero." The reason for his nonchalance became evident as his body exploded in a puff of noxious smoke. Choking, Link stepped back , only to have two skeletal bats fly out of the haze, biting him as they flew past and away. There was no sign of Vire's corpse.

"Huh." Link raised an eyebrow. "That's one way to make a getaway. What was up with that guy?" After a moment, he shrugged. "Well, whatever. I've got bigger problems to concentrate on." He took the door on the right first, into a room that was divided down the middle by a wide chasm. Ladders on either side climbed down into it. On the far side was the stone slab, while a treasure chest sat on the closer side.

Opening the chest rewarded Link with a zol to the face and the sound of Hoad's laughter from a mechanical device inside, probably built by Sliyes. Muttering curses, he killed the zol and descended the ladder. Hopping across a series of moving platforms over a bed of spikes, then climbed back up the other side, moving on into the next room beyond.

"Hi, dummy," Fade greeted him, hanging from the ceiling by his ankles, arms crossed. Somehow, he managed to make it actually look relaxing. "Heard you got Marin out of this mess okay. Appreciate it."

"Thank Sliyes." Link shrugged. "He could have done a lot worse. Didn't stop me from blowing him up, but I appreciate it, still."

"I'll buy him a new book or something. Gotta be somewhere I can get one." Fade flipped down, landing on his feet. "Let me guess. You plan on 'thanking' Hoad for saving her from Greeper the same way."

"Hey, near as I can tell, that's the way he _wants_ it." Link pointed out. "Let me guess. You, on the other hand, don't."

"Nope. You know how it goes." Fade snapped his fingers, and the steel sphere fell from the ceiling, crushing him. He rose, transformed, and hefted the ball. "You're not waking up the Wind Fish if I've got any say in the matter, dummy, and that's all there is to it. Let's get this over with, huh?" He threw the ball and immediately charged Link when he dodged it, knocking him over and trampling him to get to it first and pick it up for another throw.

"Oh, no you don't!" Link blocked the sphere the next time, the mirror shield's magic repelling it, and immediately grabbed it off the floor at the same time as Fade. The two of them tugged it back and forth for several moments before Fade managed to get it away from him.

"Let's keep this short and sweet this time!" Fade shouted, hopping into the air and spiking the ball violently into the ground with such force that it bounced straight up, into the ceiling, and then back down again at an angle. It blasted around the room like a maddened hornet, and Link was forced to throw himself to the floor in order to avoid being pulped. When the ball finally slowed, smoking, he took a chanced and grabbed it out of the air with both hands as soon as he thought he could survive. The force carried him into a wall, but he kept his grip, and rose with the ball in hand before proceeding to mash Fade into the floor just like before.

"Sheesh. You aren't messing around, are you, dummy?" Fade's shadow asked once his smeared remains had exploded, leaving a fairy behind. "Well, that's my part out of the way. Have fun with the rest."

"Why do I mistrust that air of nonchalance?" Link asked nobody in particular, letting the fairy heal him. Something glittered in the crater; looking closely, he saw that it was a key, apparently held by Fade. Pocketing it, he continued to the south, into a long, narrow room filled with man-sized clay pots. He lifted one, and immediately, a huge yellow snake on the other side of it charged, sinking its teeth into Link's arm. "A rope!" Serpents bred to attack, ropes went berserk at the sight of humans. Fortunately, they weren't poisonous, but their bites still hurt, and it managed to chomp Link again before he killed it.

There was another pot behind it, and another rope as well. Several more of these later, Link finally reached a treasure chest containing the fragment from the stone slab. The room was a dead-end; returning to the slab, he put the fragment in, then blinked. "Fight fire with fire. Nah. Seriously?" Staring at it for a moment more, he shrugged and returned to the front hall. Heading left this time, he was immediately confronted by Angish. _Hoo boy. They're really piling them on this time, aren't they?_

"You were supposed to go left first, the Link," Angish told him, sounding disappointed. "They said I could fight you first, as soon as you came in. I wanted to surprise you, first thing."

"Tough luck," Link said unsympathetically. "Some guy named Vire beat you to it."

"What's a Vire?" Angish asked after a moment. "Is that like a wire?"

"Beats me." Link shrugged. "It's probably not important."

"Oh. Okay." Angish nodded. "I'll fight you now, then!" Water poured from the ceiling, transforming him into the cyclops. Before he could attack, however, Link nailed him in the eye with the bomb arrow he'd prepared during the transformation. Roaring, the Lord stumbled back, clutching his face. Link charged, jumped, and rammed his sword into the cyclops' screaming maw.

"Sorry." He said, calmly, as Angish writhed and died. "Don't have time to play-aw, geez." In his dying moments, the Lord had pulled his bomb bag from his back and lit one without removing it, then clubbed Link into the ground. Wincing, he rolled out and away in time to avoid the worst of the explosion, but was still scorched and blown back to slam, painfully, into a wall. _That'll teach me to be cocky._

"Ha ha, the Link!" Angish's shadow pointed and laughed as it faded away, leaving another fairy and key behind. "Ha ha ha ha ha!"

"Laugh it up, meatball." Link growled, then shook his head. _Confidence is one thing, but cockiness is another. Still... amazing what a couple weeks of exercise on a tropical island will do. Finally feel like my old self again._ He stretched his arms as the fairy healed him. _Good thing, too. Looks like I'm going to need every edge I can get._ The next room to the west was completely pitch-black, unlit by torches or lamps. Stumbling through it, Link was attacked by more ropes in the darkness before he made his way to the other side.

The following room was empty. After a moment of looking around suspiciously, Link shrugged and and went south. It was another dead-end, with a chest surrounded by a circular pit. Another of Sliyes' fan-devices was on the opposite side. Dashing against the wind, Link rounded the room and smashed it. "Okay. Now I can grab that."

"Grab what?" Vire asked, descending from above suddenly to open the chest. "Ooh, a map. Don't mind if I do!" The demon was back in shape, looking as if he'd never been wounded at all. Grabbing the map out of the chest, he flapped into the air, clutching it.

"You're really taking this whole 'obligated to irritate me' thing to heart, aren't you?" Link asked, sighing heavily as he tried arrows again.

"Sorry, kid. You've got 'fun to bother' written all over your face." Vire dodged the shot as easily as before. "Not to mention, the more I do, the more I get to bill 'em for. Why not run that one up as far as I can?"

"Can't argue with that," Link had to agree, even as he blocked more fireballs. When Vire swooped in, he tried stabbing him, only for the demon to halt in mid-dive and nail him with a fireball before he could get his shield back up over his head. Cackling, he began flying around again as Link quickly doused the flames.

"That's one point for Team Vire!" The demon continued firing. "Let's see if he can keep the streak up, folks!" The next time he swooped in, Link tried a whirling blade strike that gutted the demon. "Ooh. Down and out. Sharp moves, kid!" Despite the wound, Vire still managed to set him on fire a second time as he flopped to the floor, disappearing into smoke again. This time, Link tried to cut down the skeletal bats, but they proved just as swift as their original form, both of them evading his blade and one of them tearing into his shoulder as it flew past. Muttering under his breath, Link dropped and rolled until his clothes were out, then picked up the map where it had fallen.

"All right... oh, for Farore's sake. It really is shaped like a turtle." Link shook his head in despair. "All right... looks like there's a fight guarding something good in all four corners. Angish was somewhere near the front and center... so the other two will probably be around the middle too. Around all that lava. Which it looks like I've got no choice but to cross after all. Yay me." Muttering something about the elderly, he returned to the empty room, only to find it was now occupied.

"Hey, Link," Gie greeted him, bending over and stretching, touching her hands to her toes sideways. She switched back and forth between sides for several moments while she talked. "Two down already, huh? Not bad, but you've still got a lot to go!"

"Don't I know it." Link rolled his eyes. "I'm guessing the gang's all here, and I haven't even _seen_ Greeper's or Hoad's half-forms. I'm actually kind of surprised on the latter."

"Hoad's?" Gie blinked, then laughed. "That's right, you don't know! Well, I'm not going to ruin the surprise for you. Let's have some fun!" She sprouted a tree, let it fall, and transformed in the shower of leaves, shoving the spiked pillar across the room the moment she was ready.

"Oh, joy." Hurdling it, Link was ready for her to tackle him, and met her with his sword, only to cut nothing as she jumped _over_ him and shoved him to the ground from behind. Tumbling, Link rolled back to his feet to see the spiked column rolling towards him again. He was tagged by a spike as he jumped it. This time, he watched Gie more carefully, and when she did in fact charge him, he cut her down. Rushing her as she squealed and faltered, he kept hacking and slashing relentlessly until she managed to punch him in the jaw.

"All right, tough guy, how about _this?_" Gie challenged, returning to her pillar, heavily wounded. Before Link could get to her again, she actually picked it up and swung it like a club, swiping across the width of the room. Yelping, Link was barely able to jump it. The next swing was at head height; he ducked under, then jumped the third, advancing on Gie's position. When he grew close, she tried slamming it down from overhead, but he dodged to the side and finished her off with a few more swipes.

"Bleah!" Her shadow seemed to be making a face as it vanished. "Let's see if you can keep it up all the way to the end, Link!"

"That's the plan." Link took the key and made his way back to the entrance. Staring out over the circular lava pit, he sighed deeply. _Looks like I'm out of alternate options._ Taking off his hat, he covered his nose and mouth with it and ran across the half-bridge, then began hopping across islets as carefully as possible, to the left. If one were looking at the pit from overhead, it would bear a slight similarity to a compass; half-bridges stretched at all four cardinal directions, though none of them neared the center. Making his way to the one on the left, Link followed it to a staircase leading up, and took it.

"Okay, this is just ridiculous," He muttered as he stepped up into a bitterly cold tunnel, the temperature dropping more than a hundred degrees in less then a foot. "Whoever designed this place for Hoad can just go to hell. Somehow, I doubt he's much of an architect himself."

"Hey, don't knock Lord Hoad, human!" A harsh voice yelled from up ahead. A huge block of ice was barricading the tunnel, a pair of eye-holes glaring at him from its center. "Let's see you get past _me,_ pal!"

"Okay, explain this one to me." Link leaned against the wall nonchalantly. "How, exactly, are you not melting?"

"I'm just that cool!" The ice block boasted.

"Right." Link slapped his face. "Walked right into that ones. Goddesses-damned Koholint Island, Goddesses-damned Lords and Ladies." Climbing back down, he made his way around to the north side, where the shore rose against a locked door. After a moment of hesitation, he opened it, and continued alongside a river of lava, heading east, fending off more ropes. Only once he had killed the last of them did he see Vire, lounging on the surface of the lava like he was on a raft in a lake.

"You know, whoever designed this place really should move to my hometown." He told Link casually, not opening his eyes as the hero pulled out his bow. "He'd be up to his eyebrows in business, if he _has_ eyebrows. Or she. Or neither. No sense in discriminating, after all, right?" He caught the arrow out of the air in one claw, eyes still shut. "And speaking of no sense, haven't you learned by now that that doesn't work?"

"It was worth a shot." Link shrugged. "I'll try the ones with the bombs on them next time."

"Oh, good. I like bombs." Vire stretched theatrically, yawned, and rose into the air. "High in fiber, low in fat. Bet you didn't know that!" He lunged at Link out of nowhere this time, not bothering with fireballs first, and slashed him across the chest in passing, avoiding his sword. Floating out of distance again, he tossed off a couple shots, then plunged into the lava, vanishing.

"Where are you, you louse?" Link muttered, looking around. A moment later, claws sunk into his back, and he roared, whirling around and slicing at air. Vire had come through the door to the lava pit and jumped him.

"Hey, I take great offense to that!" Vire protested, still grinning despite his outraged tone. "I may have a great number of bad tendencies, but none of them are insectlike!" His next fireballs were leveled at the ground in front of Link instead of directly at him; hitting, they erupted into patches of flame he had to sidestep carefully. When the demon dived again, Link caught him with an upswing that hacked his wings off, sending him crashing into a wall and exploding in smoke. This time, he managed to nail one of the skeletal bats, but the other one got away. The one he caught, upon being hit, immediately dissolved into a pile of black ash.

_He's getting better every time,_ Link thought grimly as he opened another locked door at the end of the lava river. _I don't think I'd like the way two or three rounds later would go. No more underestimating him._ The next room had been filled with a maze of obviously shoddy, cracked thin walls. Link simply blew them up with bombs, which had the added bonus of killing the ropes lurking around. "Sheesh, does he breed these things here or something?"

A third locked door took his last key, and led him to another completely dark room, but this one had unlit torches he was able to brighten up with magic powder. The light revealed a pit crossing the room he could jump over, and more importantly, yet another locked door. "Shit. Out of luck, unless..." He examined his map. The previous room had unexplored space to the west of it. "Cute. It was a tip-off." Going back, he bombed open the wall and walked through.

"Well, well. Look who's managed to get this far." Morm asked Sleel, the two of them lying draped across each other like a more-than-slightly disturbing statue. "He's starting to look a bit peaked, though, wouldn't you say, sweet sister?"

"Yes, I suppose so." Sleel looked irritable. "As happy as I am to see him again, let's just get this over with, shall we? I despite this pit of Hoad's. The heat is intolerable."

"Can't take it, lady?" Link asked, voice dripping sympathy, as they both transformed into their snake-forms. "Huh. And here I thought you'd give me another round with the gohmas, since I've fought this one twice already."

"Eh?" Morm grunted in surprise. Their eyeless heads both turned to "stare" at each other. "Damnation, he's right! Should we switch?"

"Wouldn't that use up some of our 'power'?" Sleel pointed out. "Fade said we needed to conserve it."

"I honestly don't know," Morm admitted. "Oh, fine. But you owe me one-argh!" Link had taken advantage of their distraction to roll lit bombs into their mouths.

"Are you done?" He asked sarcastically as they both turned on him.

"Quite," Morm hissed angrily. "Shall we, sweet sister?"

"By all means, dear brother!" Sleel agreed. Turning on each other, they latched onto the other's tail, jaws clamping like a vise. Through some force Link couldn't understand, possibly due to the suction inside their mouths being bottled up, the resulting loop began to spin wildly, uncontrollably. It slammed around the room at high speed, totally random, and Link was knocked flat, catching them right in the face.

"Now! Get him!" Sleel howled. The twins released each other and dove for Link, only to have more bombs thrown in. Rising to his feet in the momentary pause as they lost another segment each, he stood his ground as they both lunged, bombing them both once more to finish them off. They were close enough that the explosions knocked him down again, but the fairies released from their corpses took care of that.

"Congratulations," Morm's shadow said mockingly. "Another one down. Only three more to go, then!"

"Have fun with them, handsome man." Sleel waved farewell. "And good luck!"

"Hope I can take Sliyes down easy," Link muttered, taking the key. Despite all the healing, the strain and exhaustion just kept building and building. Returning to the dark room, he opened the locked door and descended the ladder behind it. It led to a tunnel like the first one in Turtle Rock, save that instead of spikes, more lava bubbles and boiled below the moving platforms. "Looks like creativity wasn't a big thing here." Reaching the other side, Link climbed another ladder into a second empty room. He sighed, then raised his voice. "Nice try. I'm not buying it a second time. Get out here, whoever you are."

"Impatient, aren't we?" Greeper said, stepping calmly through the room's only door. "You'd think you hadn't been keeping yourself entertained." He raised an eyebrow. "What _is_ going on with that strange intruder? I certainly don't recall convening to accept him."

"Trouble, that's what," Link admitted. "I _really_ hope he doesn't suddenly turn out to be much worse than you guys, and we have to team up to fight him off. I don't think I could take that, with you people."

"Worry not," Greeper scoffed. "That only happens in bad folklore."

"Good to know." Link held his blade at the ready. "Shall we, then? You're one of the only two I haven't seen on this level."

"Am I?" Greeper smiled, oddly, as fog began to fill the room, white and cloudy. In seconds, Link could see nothing but himself. Fortunately, it then began to dissipate just as quickly as it had come, leaving Greeper transformed. He would have looked almost comical in other circumstances; a short, round, pale creature with stubby hands and feet directly attached to his body without arms or legs. Narrow eyes squinted out from the eyeholes of a black mask covering his upper half, behind the dull red boxing gloves he wore on his fists. Holding them up, Greeper jabbed experimentally at the air, then began hopping towards Link.

"You'd better be stronger than you were at 'full power,' or else this is just going to be embarrassing," Link bantered, trying a swipe. As he'd feared, the boxing gloves were an effective barrier, warding off his blade without even a scratch.

"Unfortunately, my true form only enhances my ability to control animals." Greeper explained, hopping back and forth quickly. "Which, of course, makes this the one in which my fighting ability is greatest!" He moved in close quickly, catching Link by surprise, and caught him on the arm with a punch that nearly broke it.

"Damn!" Hissing, Link blocked the next punch with his shield, only to wince again-the blow still pained his other arm, despite being intercepted. As Greeper struck again, Link tried to stab him, but the Lord blocked his sword with his other glove even as the first struck the mirror shield again. Wincing, Link drew back, and Greeper hopped away as well. A quick test of arrow and hookshot both proved ineffective, blocked by the gloves as neatly as the sword, and Link knew that if he tried to put together a bomb-arrow the Lord would be on him immediately.

"Come on, let's keep the pace going!" Greeper jabbed mockingly. "Or, if you'd prefer to finish fast..." He held one fist back, winding it up in circles behind him in the air, then charged. Link barely had time to get out of the way; the little boxer's momentum carried him all the way into the wall, leaving a crater there even larger than those created by Fade's form. Link hacked at his back, but the Lord's body was tough and leathery; he only cut shallowly a couple times before Greeper rounded on him.

"Ha!" The Lord dealt Link a crack to the head that sent him crashing to the floor, spots swimming before his eyes. As soon as he fell, Greeper began winding up for another massive attack. Head screaming, Link rolled away, then rose again and slashed at the wound in the boxer's back before jumping away to avoid another counter-punch.

"Two for two," Link said, staring Greeper in the eye and smiling. "Let's see who gives out first, old man."

"A reasonable suggestion, brat," Greeper agreed, moving in for another series of jabs. "I do believe I'll take you up on it!" This time, Link dodged instead, using the roc's feather to help him avoid two of the punches. A third, however, caught him in the gut as he was landing, winding him. Doubling over, Link wheezed in protest as Greeper wound up, then threw himself to the floor to avoid the attack. By the time he got back to his feet this time, the boxer was already facing him again, gloves back up to guard.

Deciding to try another tack, Link backed off and pulled out a bomb and arrow. Greeper's response was to wind up for a punch again. Dropping both, Link dashed out of the way, then charged back, putting his pegasus boots and his shoulder behind a ramming stab. His sword went in several inches before being stopped by the boxer's thick muscle and skin. Undeterred, Greeper whirled and clocked Link on the side of the head again as he pulled the sword out.

"Close, but no cigar!" Greeper sneered, preparing a huge punch once more.

_What's it _take _with this guy?_ Link thought angrily, nearly blacking out. He blindly kicked out with the pegasus boots while sprawled on the floor; it was his only hope to dodge the killing blow. While he was successful in that regard, he did end up slamming his back into a wall. Somehow regaining his footing, he saw Greeper charging him again, and took a gamble. Actually hurdling the little boxer, he turned and tried the jousting stab again. This time, the blade went in twice as far. It seemed that was enough; lighting up, Greeper exploded.

"As warm-up bouts go, that one met expectations," The Lord's shadow said smugly as it flickered and faded. "Now go entertain Hoad like a good boy. He's waiting for you ever-so-patiently, after all."

"Oh, joy. Motivation." Letting the fairy heal him, Link took the key that dropped from the ceiling. _Damn. Their plan's working. Even after that healing, I could go for a nap here and now. If __Sliyes gives me much trouble, I'm sunk, and then there's Hoad in half-form..._ He frowned as he went north and found a chest there. _Wait. If there's a prize here, then I'm in another "foot." Which means only one left. I've explored everything except the upper left area-three rooms-and the head area-three more. Is Hoad just going to skip half-form?_

After a moment's more thought, Link shrugged. After all, he certainly wasn't going to complain. Opening the chest, he smiled wearily as he drew out his fire rod. "Now, _this_ is what I'm talking about. This should even some odds, even in this place." It was a pity the ice rod had been lost, but he'd deal with what he had. Keeping it in hand, he walked back the way he'd come, returning to the tunnel with the ice block. "Hey, blockhead. Let's turn the heat up." Aiming the metal staff with the spherical ruby head, he activated its magic, blasting the block with a fireball.

"Cheap pyrokinesis!" The ice screamed as it melted. "As an animated obstruction, I'm insulted!"

"And as a swordsman who's not getting paid enough for this shit, I don't care," Link muttered, walking through the tunnel and descending the stairs on the other side, ending up in a room with a small pool of lava in the center. It wasn't hard to guess what would happen next. "All right, Vire. I know you're there."

"Man, you're good." Vire flew out of the lava. "You ever give any thought to doing this for a living?"

"Once or twice," Link replied, nailing him with the fire rod. The magic flew faster than any arrow, and even Vire's tricky moves were unable to save him. The demon actually slid apart slightly down the vertical center into two halves as he burst into flame. "Sorry. I don't have time to play with you any more."

"Spoilsport!" Vire croaked. "Fine, fine, I'll let you get on with your job. All play and no work makes Jack a bum, yadda yadda." The skeletal bats didn't actually attack this time, simply flying off. Link watched them soar away, then turned his gaze to the locked door before him.

"This wasn't even necessary," He muttered, opening it. "Way to go, Hoad. Bonus points for redundancy."

"I'll be sure to convey that sentiment to him for you," Sliyes said, standing in a room similar to the one he'd fought in at the Angler's Tunnel. Instead of the floor being submerged in water, however, a moat of lava ran around the outer edge, against the wall. "If you don't bring it up yourself when you meet him, that is."

"Not even going to pretend you can kill me any more?" Link asked. "You _are_ sharp, kid. Had me wondering when you wanted to go three rounds in one day."

"All part of the plan, hero. All part of the plan." Sliyes' hands came together, then apart, blinding Link for his transformation. The huge round bug charged him as before, inhaling and propelling molten lava as easily as water. "Let's see how you do with a little change of pace on this one!"

"No big deal." Stepping around a corner, Link hit Sliyes with a whirling blade strike as soon as he rammed the wall. "I've seen worse." Stepping back out of range of the splashing magma, he waited in that spot for Sliyes to go around the other way, pause, and reverse course only to be hit again the same way as before.

"Well, fine! Have something worse, then!" Sliyes snarled, freezing in place and falling backwards, raising his armored underside to face Link. A stream of lava shot out from the tiny hole of his mouth. Link blocked it, but the boiling rock continued to course out. "Ha! You'll be burning your own feet if you keep that up!"

"I won't, then." Shoving his hat over his lower face again to keep from breathing the fumes, Link stepped around the central blockade, using that to defend himself, in order to ready a bomb-arrow. Returning to face Sliyes, he let it loose before putting his shield back up against the lava stream. It flew, not at Sliyes, but at the wall above him.

"Your aim is almost as terrible as your-huh?" Sliyes' taunt turned to confusion as the explosion blew rubble off of the wall, crushing the inert balloon bug where it sat. "Bah! Who cares! This was all just a warm-up anyways. Go on, hero! Do what you've been waiting for ever since he branded you, if you can!"

"Can do," Link grunted as the shadow faded. No key dropped from the ceiling this time; instead, a piece of paper slowly drifted down. Snatching it out of the air, he glanced at the crude writing on it. "Hm. 'What are you waiting for, the return of Ganon? Hurry your ass up, already. -Hoad.' I see." He set fire to it, then went on into the room to the north, opening the chest and taking the horned key. "Only one key per fight, huh? I suppose that makes a twisted sort of sense."

Returning to the lava pit, he made his way around to the opposite staircase, the only one he hadn't climbed yet. That tunnel, unsurprisingly, had a block of ice as well. Melting it like the first, he descended the stairs beyond onto the end of one-last half-bridge in the middle of a room filled with lava, leading to a locked door. "Finally. Show time at last. Here it goes." Opening it, he strolled in as casually as he could. "Evening, Hoad."

"Yo." Hoad waved a greeting from the other side of the room. Between them, yet another pit of lava yawned ten feet below the level of the floor, which ran a ring around the outside of the round room. The Lord was slouching in a chair, looking bored. "About time you got here. I was about to fall asleep here."

"Shame you didn't. Would have made this a lot quicker," Link bantered, doing his best to hide his exhaustion. _I can still do this. Just one more fight, and I'm done. I'll be dead on my feet after, but I _can_ pull it off._

"Not. Gonna. Happen." Hoad said slowly and clearly, using hand gestures that were probably obscene to accentuate each word. "I've been waiting for this since the day you first drifted in here. Don't disappoint me now, Linko."

"Wasn't planning on it. I've been waiting for this too." Link glared at the Lord in disgust. "You _branded_ me. Not even Ganon ever did that, you sick freak. You're going to pay for-oh, wait." He paused in mocking realization. "I should be _grateful_ that you're not fighting me in half-form first, right? That came as a bit of a surprise, actually."

"Still haven't figured it out, huh?" Hoad shook his head in mock despair. "And they call _me_ a meathead. Okay, quick lesson before we throw down. You've got the basics of how we all work, but some of us are a little _special._ Greeper's a wuss at full power, but the nastiest of us at half. Angish gets his mojo back twice as fast if he takes five. Morm and Sleel can't do the possession gig, and they have to do half-form together, but they've got two options there, one for each of 'em. And then there's me. I don't _have_ a half-form, Linko. It just ain't there, all there is to it."

"Can't say I'm complaining." Link said flatly. "What's the catch?"

"Catch this." Hoad held up a finger and thumb, and a flame danced between them. "I'm the only one who can use elemental magic too. Same reason for both. Thing about fire is, it's out of control. Burns everything, even its own ashes. It's all or nothing, for me. Full-form puts me down all the way from hundred to a quarter."

"And triple shit," Link muttered, gears turning in his head, even before the transformation happened.

"Light dawns on marble head. You get what I'm saying, don't you?" Hoad grinned at Link, hideous and exultant. "If you go in thinking this'll be like the other seven, you're dead. And _that_ would mean all their whining about you waking up the old fish is a load of crap. You ain't seen _nothing_ yet, Linko." He stretched his arms wide, like a scarecrow, and fire enveloped both hands, transforming them into balls of flame that spewed streamers of it onto his head, igniting that as well.

It was a the screaming that really did it. The other Lords and Ladies had shown no actual pain when their bodies had been ripped apart for transformation, but Hoad was clearly a different story. His shrieks of agony filled the room as he slowly stumbled around, head and hands three bonfires that slowly spread down his arms and torso. The howling continued as his body collapsed, a still-burning pile of blackened bones that fell apart like a ruined house, leaving a single huge bonfire where the Lord had stood.

Only then did the screams cease, and the face appear. Two nastily slanted eyes, and a twisted, mocking smile opened up on the front side of the flames like holes into endless darkness. The living fireball leaped forward, off of the land, and into the molten lava like a landed fish saving itself. "Screw up just once, and you're finished! You want to play those Instruments? Not happening, Linko, unless you can get through _me_! Time to feel the burn!"

"I hate bad puns when I'm not the one making them." Link growled, mind racing. _How the hell am I supposed to _attack that? _Sword's useless, arrows worse than useless. Bombs would be a joke, hookshot probably suicide. Do something with the mirror shield? Run around like an idiot trying to sprinkle him with magic powder? _

"Hey, no chilling out!" Hoad yelled, bursting out of the lava with enough force to make it splash over the sides near him. Fortunately, that wasn't near _Link_, but the living flame's flight path carried him there, and his landing caused even more globs of magma to fly. "This is a fight, not a debate! Dodge and move, or burn and die! Your call, Linko!"

"I hate lava, too." Link hurdled a blob of lava and began running around the edge, still at a loss for a method of attack. _Why couldn't it have been my _ice _rod that made... it..._ His eyes narrowed. _Fight fire with fire. He's the only one who's actually _hurt_ by his element, too. He seems to like that lava well enough, but lava's not actually _fire. _It's my only hope! _When Hoad jumped from the lava again, Link nailed him with a blast of fire from the rod. It flew straight and true, slamming into the living flame, and Hoad froze in mid-air, grunting in pain.

"Figured my weak point out pretty quick, kid!" The Lord congratulated him, as the living flames flickered and died. What was left was a flattened head made of coal and ash, previously unseeable through the fire and flames. "That's just turning it up a notch, though!" As Link fired again, Hoad moved to dodge, and didn't stop there. The Lord began bouncing around the room wildly, ricocheting madly off of walls, ceiling and floor.

"Goddammit, of course!" Link dove out of the way when Hoad blasted past, but the head of coal still brushed him, savagely burning his arm with only the slightest of contact. Growling, he tried another shot, but the Lord was moving too fast and erratic to be tracked now. Eventually, his path carried him back into the lava, and Link once more had to concentrate on avoiding the molten mess. Fire was bad, but even a brush with the lava would disable a limb, and more than a brush would mean a slow, painful death.

"Keep the heat going, Linko!" Hoad shouted madly, scattering more and more lava. Another shot doused his flames again, and this time Link managed to get several more in before he began blasting around again, but the Lord just kept screaming, the full level of his insanity finally revealed. "Yeah, yeah, yeah! Just like that! Burn, fight, kill! It's the only way to live, Link! You get it, don't you? You feel the burn, just like I do! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

"You're more unhinged than my desk drawers back home!" Link snarled, then screamed as Hoad knocked him head over heels from behind. His tunic wasn't even being set on fire; it was simply burned black where Hoad touched him, on the sleeve and now probably from behind. The burns had to be second degree at least, probably worse, in the blink of an eye. Clenching his teeth in pain, Link managed to score on his enemy one more time before he hit the lava.

"Who gives a shit? Not me, Linko!" Hoad exploded from the lava once more, and once more was nailed with fire. The head of coal, originally glowing red, dimmed darker and blacker every time the fire rod's shots struck home. More and more found him as he hovered motionless for a brief, merciful moment, but the deranged Lord blazed around the room seconds later without a care for the damage he was taking. "If sanity's the alternative, you can keep it! I love being me, even if it means everything in the world pisses me off! Wouldn't have it any other way!"

"Who gives a shit?" Link tossed his words back at him, then yelled as Hoad slammed past his side, spinning him as he fell inches from the lava pit. Most of his body screaming in agony, he got back to his feet just in time to see Hoad dive back in once more. Avoiding the lava, he switched hands on the fire rod; his left hand had been burned less severely now. "Not me, asshole!"

"Ha! That's the way to do it!" Hoad leaped out once more, straight into the fire rod's path. "Worship? Affection? Ownership? Yeah, right! The rest can keep 'em! All I want from you's that seething hatred, and you're giving it in spades, Linko!" The head of coals finally dimmed to black, all traces of light fading, then paled to grey. Hanging motionless, it began to slide apart into ash, falling bit by bit into the lava.

_Did that do it?_ Link thought, bracing his legs to stay upright. _It looks like I got him, but he's not acting like-no!_ Underneath the ashes, something else moved. A demon head, horns and tusks identical on left and right, top and bottom. A mouth full of needle fangs stretched between the latter, and above it, two bulging eyes rolled and strained, veins standing out. The monstrosity plunged back into the lava, and Link waited for it to surface again. "Get back out here, Hoad! Let's finish this!"

"Preaching to the choir, Linko!" Hoad exploded out, right in front of Link, and pounced straight for him amid the lava. Link jumped back and fired, but Hoad no longer flinched when struck, coming on implacably. As the magma boiled his legs, the Lord was on him, smashing him to the floor and tearing into his chest with tusks and fangs, just as hot. "End of the line, hero of time! You got what it takes? Well? Do you? Huh? _Huh? _Who lives? Who dies? _Show me!_"

Link could only scream in reply, body exploding with pain. Despite that, his arms were still moving, the left one continuing to throw fire into Hoad's face as the right moved automatically, on nearly a decade of instinct, and drew his sword. The blade and the rod moved mechanically, burning and slashing Hoad again and again, as the Lord chewed and burned, until finally, they both froze, stopping motionless at the same moment.

"You did it," Hoad whispered, from a roar to a murmur, as his true head began to glow with heat. Releasing Link, he fell back, tumbling on the ground before bursting into flame one last time, no longer under his own power. "You damn well did it, Linko. First time anybody's ever taken me down. I was right. You _are_ the real thing." The demon's head burned away, flesh turning to ash, leaving a blackened, flaming skull. "You're _so_ damn close. Almost there. Almost free. Don't wimp out now, hero. Show me what I've been waiting for all these years. The power of the Triforce."

"You goddesses-damned Hot Head," Link whimpered as the skull dissolved into shadow. "Hot Head. Hot Head. Hot Head." He wanted to say more, to mix threat and rebuttal and witty repartee, but he lacked the strength. It was all he could do to stay conscious, stay alive, as he said the name over and over, until Hoad's shadow faded from his sight. Only then did he begin the seemingly endless process of dragging himself around the room towards the back. His legs wouldn't hold him; he knew that without even trying. All he could do was crawl, little by little, to his destination.

_Get the instrument. Get to the instrument. Do that, and I'll be out of here. Maybe then, I'll have a chance. Maybe the rooster will come back. Maybe Marin or Lingo will come looking for me. Maybe one of them will bring a fairy. Maybe the owl will. Somebody might find me. Somebody might bring a fairy. But only if I get out of here. Otherwise, I'll die here. Only if I get to the instrument. I have to get to the instrument, if I want to live. Get to the instrument. Get it. _

Pain still overriding nearly all of his thought processes, Link crawled around the fountain of fire in the back room, and saw it before him. A drum, with two sticks attached on thin ropes. He reached out with one hand and picked it up, barely able to raise it, and read its name. "The Thunder Drum." White light surrounded him, and deposited him at the entrance to Turtle Rock. _That's all I can do. Now, I just have to hope somebody comes for me, and finds me here._

"Whoa. Did you get the name of the coach driver?" Vire's voice reached his ears, and Link nearly gave up, then and there.

"So that's it," Link managed to say, somehow. "My luck's finally out. Should have known this is the way it would happen. Piss off too many people, and eventually, one of them's bound to take me out after another messes me up. Goddesses, this sucks."

"Heh." Vire chuckled once. "Lucky for you, then, you _didn't_ piss me off. But seriously, when did I ever say I was out to kill you, huh? _That_ kind of deal, I'd want to _negotiate_ on first. I was just messing with you in there, and it looks like that game's just about over, so I'm out. Think I'll head back in and lounge around some more now that management's been evicted."

"Don't expect me to thank you," Link grumbled, the mountains spinning around him as unconsciousness finally began to claim him.

"That's not in my contract." Vire dropped down next to him, or so Link assumed from the thump-darkness was filling his vision swiftly, and he could no longer feel anything. "See you again someday, Hero of Time. It's been fun, so have some free advice. Don't get too broken up about what you'll have to do here. The expiration date on Koholint Island was just about up anyways."

Unconsciousness was mercy.

* * *

"And so, the last horse blindly smashes through the finish line." Morm drawled as Hoad sat down. For the first time in centuries, all of the chairs around the meeting table in Kanalet Castle were filled, Fade finally joining them there once more. "Before we discuss our main problem, does _anybody_ have any idea what that strange demon was doing here?"

"Nope." Hoad grunted, strangely laconic, putting his head down on his arms.

"Well, if nobody brought him in, that speaks for itself, doesn't it?" Gie glanced at them all. "Coming in all by himself? _Bad news._ This month just keeps getting worse."

"We can settle that matter later," Greeper said calmly. "For now, we have other concerns. Despite everything, this makes it eight for eight." The old Lord's head tilted to one side, as if in confusion. "How did we let this happen? This was our island. We _ruled_ it. We _owned_ it. And a pup not even present for a month has dethroned us all, one by one."

"It still is," Sliyes corrected him angrily. "We're not through yet, Greeper. We've still got _that. _It won't be pleasant, but that's why it's a last-ditch plan, after all." He snorted. "Unless anybody has any better suggestions?" There was a long moment of silence in which all eight exchanged glances, until Fade finally spoke.

"We don't have to do this, you know." He was quiet at first, before raising his voice. "We can call it quits, and cut our losses. Let him wake the Wind Fish, if he's really going to do it, and get out while the getting's good. We'll lose Koholint, but we can get another island, somewhere. And we _won't_ lose our lives. We die like _that_, and it's for real. I don't know about the rest of you, but I for one would prefer not to risk that."

"What?" Hoad's head shot up, breaking the sluggish torpor he'd displayed since walking in. "What did you-"

"Fuck. That." Gie overrode him, startling them all. The Lady's eyes were narrowed and cold. "They were right. You've lost your touch after all, Fade, if you're suggesting that. You've gotten soft. This is _our_ damn island, and the people on it belong to _us._ I'm not giving up a single thing as long as I live."

"Well, now," Sleel murmured. "Isn't _this_ interesting."

"Sit down, all three of you," Greeper snarled. "Or Angish will _make_ you sit down. You were right about one thing, Hoad. 'The Children Of Nightmares.' That's what we are, the lot of us. We're children who never grew up, because we never had to. Sliyes is the only one who's honest about his appearance. By rights, we should _all_ look like him. Regardless, now is _not_ the time to show those tendencies the _most._ If we squabble like infants, we will die. That is all."

"Yeah, yeah." Fade slumped back into his seat. "I was just saying, that's all. Don't throw a chair at me. I'm still in."

"Good to know." Sliyes stared at him for a moment, then looked away. "Well then, mister wizard, use that magic memory you love rubbing in our faces so much. Can we really do this? Is it going to work, absolutely, without possibility of screwups? Can eight become one, and the Nightmare return?"

"Not for long," Fade said flatly. "We've been separate for too long. We've become independent, individual. It'll take us a lot of buildup, during which we'll have to completely ditch stability of form. And once we finally do it, we'll only be him for a few minutes. But we'll only split again mentally. We'll still be inside our... his... original form, for as long as we'll need to. That's what's important. We can do this."

"Then why do we worry?" Morm drew Sleel to him, draping an arm across her shoulder. "It may even be... _interesting_ to be one again."

"Speak for yourself." Gie made a face. "I'm going to be _Angish._ And he's going to be _me._ Along with the rest of you. That's just gross."

"I'm not you," Angish muttered under his breath, chewing on an old bone. "I'd have noticed if I was you. I'm not _that_ dumb."

"Necessity, sweet sister," Sleel told her, ignoring that. "Necessity. We will do what we must, to retain what is ours."

"Yeah. We will," Hoad agreed, teeth glittering in what might have been a smile. "Let's do that, then. Just like that. We'll take him on, and take him down. Hero of Time? Whatever. Triforce of Courage? Yeah, sure, _whatever._ We're the Nightmare, and _we_ are gonna take that little bitch down and out, fast and hard."

"You sound like us, dear brother." Morm laughed. "But I can't disagree with the sentiment, I suppose."

"I doubt anybody will." Greeper's smirk was cruel. "Angish, the wine."

"Okay." Taking out a bottle, Angish broke its neck against his head, then began pouring it into eight glasses.

"A toast." Greeper raised his glass once they'd been passed out. "To dominion. To ownership. To eternity. To what is _ours_, now and forever. Koholint Island, and everything upon it, belong to _us._ We will not allow them to simply be taken. My fellow Lords and Ladies, this is our island. This is _our world._ Nothing will take it from us, not even the Hero of Time." He drank the glass dry, as did the rest, and then all eight crushed them in their hands.

Laughter echoed through the halls of Kanalet Castle. Arrogant, hysterical, dry, guttural, predatory, ironic, prideful, insane laughter filled the halls, and the Darknuts shivered in their armor, knowing without realizing the true nature of their seemingly affable masters. The masters of Koholint Island, and all who lived and died upon it.


	14. Chapter 13: Wake Me Up Inside

_**Chapter 13: Wake Me Up Inside**_

_Sing with me sing for the year _

_Sing for the laughter sing for the tears _

Link's first thought, upon awakening in Lingo's guest room, was slight surprise that he was still alive, and felt fine. It wouldn't have surprised him one bit if that had ended up being the one that got him. All of the burn wounds from the fight with Hoad were gone, probably healed by a fairy, but a quick check showed that his tunic and hat, despite miraculously remaining in one piece, had been burned completely black. There was something about it that made Link feel uneasy, but he shook it off. He had enough troubles to think about already.

A quick search of the house showed him that he was alone aside from the cuccos, but there was a note left on the table. _Kid-the rooster went looking for you, and brought you back spark out. Guess he found a fairy for you before hauling you here. Good thing someone did. Me and Marin went down to Koholint Village. She says to say help yourself to any food. I say leave some cash. Even if I probably won't be needing it soon. It's the principle of the thing. See you down there. -Lingo_

"Guess it's nice to see _some_ things never change," Link chuckled. Doing as the note instructed, he left the house afterwards to find the rooster waiting for him. "Hey, buddy. Appreciate the save. Think I could get one more favor off of you?" The rooster, of course, was only too happy to oblige. Descending the Tal Tal Heights through the air was much faster than descending the mountain trail. Once they had landed, Link sent the rooster off to find Lingo, and made his way through the Mysterious Forest alone.

For the first few hours, he milled around the outskirts of Mabe Village, avoiding everybody there. His first stop was the Dream Shrine, to check a hunch. Moving aside the bed in its center, he found that there was, as he'd suspected, a hole in the floor like the one in the Wind Fish Shrine, a dry imitation of the Lords' and Ladies' fountains. _Knew it couldn't be a coincidence._ After that, he crept around to the library.

As he passed by, Link saw Tarin and Lingo sitting on the porch of the former's house, arguing loudly. From the sound of it, they were yelling about something completely unimportant. It was more than a little odd to see Tarin actually angry, but Link kept going without investigating further. Once he was at the library, he pulled out a book that had stymied him on an earlier visit, claiming to contain the island's "dark secrets and mysteries" but written in bizarre lines. The magnifying glass he had found solved the puzzle, revealing the print to simply be incredibly tiny.

"Jackpot," Link muttered, glancing through the pages. "It's the assembly instructions. They wrote down how they built the island, and left it in here, where even if anybody could find it, nobody could understand it without one of these. Sliyes probably keeps them on hand for if they ever need to look at this again. Or maybe those glasses of his work like that. Wouldn't put it past the guy. There's got to be _something_ here I can use."

There was only one problem. Most of the book was about various forms of magic, and while Link was able to grasp just how more advanced than anything anybody in Hyrule could do, understanding much more than that was beyond him. Zelda was the one with the magical training; his ability at it was rudimentary, to put it lightly, and the book was huge. "If I have to read through this entire thing, I'll die of boredom, and spare the Lords and Ladies the effort. Farore, let there be an index-_yes._ I'm religious again."

Once he was able to navigate the book, Link was much more successful, specifically hunting down the entries that would be helpful in finishing his job. Information about the Wind Fish's Egg, the Instruments, and the lifespan of Koholint's residents was all forthcoming. There was no entry at all for Vire, though, and those on the Owl and the Lords and Ladies were even worse-they had apparently been penned by Angish, and were about as informative as hitting oneself over the head with a stout plank. Once he was done with the book, Link's litany of excuses was dry. Walking south, he made his way along the beach, towards the east.

"Hey, hey buddy!" A deep, whining voice called from a beachside cave as Link passed by. It was a stout humanoid with the head of a dog, though its body was hairless, giving it a slightly pathetic look. "Hey, got a shovel? Huh? Do you?"

"Could be I do," Link said, turning to regard the creature. "You're a goriya, right?" He'd heard of the monster-men, supposedly a more peaceful relative of moblins, before but had never actually seen one.

"Yeah, I am, but hey!" The goriya rubbed its hands together. "I really need a shovel right now, buddy. Hey, tell you what, I'll trade you. Give you this." From its sleeve, it produced a familiar sight-Link's boomerang, a throwing weapon he'd had for years ever since he'd stolen it from Hyrule Castle back when he'd first met Zelda, at the start of their first adventure. "What do you say? It's hot stuff, buddy. Used to belong to Lord Morm himself."

"Buddy, you have yourself a deal." Link replied, smiling. _Looks like there is one bit of good news today after all._ Handing over the shovel, he took the boomerang in return.

"Thanks, buddy." The goriya nodded quickly. "Have a nice day."

"You too." Pocketing the boomerang, Link continued east, towards the private cove he'd found Marin in, a week ago. It was empty when he arrived, but that was more or less what he expected. Sitting down on a log, he watched the waves crash on the shore, listened to the seagulls overhead, and waited. He knew she would come. She would know, just as well as he did, that it would have to be here.

As it turned out, he didn't have long to wait. Before even an hour had passed, Marin quietly joined him on the log, walking up from behind him without making a sound. They watched the waves for several more minutes before Link finally spoke. "Nice day out."

"It is," Marin agreed. "If you're far enough away from dad and uncle Lingo."

"Yeah, I saw that." Link winced theatrically. "Heard it, too. Are they always like that?"

"Whenever they're within a mile of each other." She admitted. "Back when the three of us were traveling together, they'd keep it up constantly. That's one reason Uncle Lingo went to live up in the mountains when we came here."

"I was kind of wondering about that." Link said; he'd been chalking it up to the man's charming personality. It was a nice, casual conversation, and for just a few moments, it was like they were back when Link had first arrived on Koholint, when he was none the wiser to what would happen. They both knew it couldn't last, but for as long as they could, they were content simply to stare out to sea, and pretend.

"Fade came by today." Marin finally broke the spell. "He wanted to say goodbye."

"I guess that's not too surprising," Link replied after a moment. "Was it a just in case, or..." He trailed off.

"No, he expects to lose." Marin shook her head, eyes troubled. "He said... that if you came up to the Wind Fish's Egg... that you wouldn't be human any more. That you would make them look like a daydream. What does that mean?"

"I don't really know myself," Link murmured, mostly truthfully. He _didn't_ know, but _something_ buried deep inside him had reacted when she'd said it, and not in a good way. "I don't like the sound of that. But he's still going to fight me, even if he thinks he'll lose?"

"The others are probably forcing him to," Marin explained. "At least, that's what I hope. Fade is still a Lord, I guess, even if he's different from the others. He tries to be human, but he doesn't really get it right. Anybody can tell that something is just... off about him. But he tries." She took a moment to compose herself before continuing. "He's been my best friend here on Koholint for nearly two hundred years." It took Link a long time to come up with an appropriate response to that, even if he already knew, thanks to Lingo.

"What's it like?"

"Numb," Marin said quietly. "You just stop caring, after a while. I think I'm the only one who even keeps track of how long it's been. We never get older, but we don't care about that. Even the children. Mamahl and Papahl arrived with their family sixty years back. We just go on, keep living day by day, without ever thinking about it much." She closed her eyes. "Probably because we can't bear to. If we did, we'd go crazy. It's happened. Sometimes, somebody who's been here for years will just snap one day, and go off to attack the Lords and Ladies. They never come back."

"Goddesses," Link murmured, seeing the look in her eyes. "That's why."

"Why I was so desperate to leave Koholint," Marin agreed. "Logically, eventually... nobody will be able to last forever. Dad had a close call once. It scared me more than anything I've ever seen. It's... lucky that there aren't more children here. If any of them..." She fell silent for a bit before continuing. "When you came here, I thought maybe there was actually a chance. That maybe there was another way, that I could escape." She closed her eyes, smiling sadly. "I guess not. Sometimes, a happy ending just isn't in the cards."

"Marin..." Link murmured, then paused as he heard the sounds of arguing approaching.

"-ive more minutes, that's all I'm saying!" Tarin was grumbling. "We can give them five more minutes of privacy! That won't kill anybody, you scrawny moron!"

"It'll just make this worse, I'm telling you!" Lingo yelled back. "Timing is everything! They'll have said what they need to by now, so we should get it over with, you fat idiot!"

"_Both_ of you imbeciles cut it out, or I'll tie your lips together!" Chef Bear roared. "We came here to do the right thing, not put up with your bickering!"

"Indeed, _mon ami_," Richard added. "This is not, how you say, a sterling example of brotherly love!"

"I'll give you brotherly-" Tarin growled, then fell silent as the four of them rounded the corner. "Oh. Hi ya, Link."

"It's been a while, Tarin. Richard," Link greeted them, then turned to Marin. "Did you-"

"Yes." Marin motioned them to sit down to their sides. "It needs to be said, and I thought... I'd need their help."

"You've told him, then," Lingo guessed, sighing. "Kid, it's not a pleasant thing to hear, even I'll admit that. But you gotta face up to it, just like we did. That's just the way things work here. Once you're on Koholint Island, that's it. You're done. You either die, or go crazy and die, and even after that..." He paused as Richard grimaced. "Sorry, pal."

"No, no. It is the truth." Richard shook his head. "Even death is no escape from here. I did not wish to tell you, _mon ami_, because I did not truly believe you could succeed. For that, I must apologize. Now, though, I know better. If you can break the spell on this island... if you can free us... by all means, do so, I beg you. No matter the cost. It is the only way."

"It ain't been _bad_, so to speak," Chef Bear said sagely. "Hell, could have been a lot worse. Interesting, at least. But it's gone on long enough. Nobody in my village is gonna blame you if you bring it all crashing down, kid. Most of 'em would probably say thanks, and even the ones that didn't admit it... they'd all feel it, deep down. There's worse things than the end out there. Maybe it's an animal thing, but we all know. It'll be okay."

"Don't go askin' anybody else about this. Especially the parents." Tarin looked at Marin for a moment, then looked away. "It wouldn't go well, makin' 'em think about their kids, and... this. But everybody _knows_, by now. If you don't do this, Link, it'll never stop. Nobody'll ever be able to... to die, for real. The Lords and Ladies never let go of what's theirs. You're the only one who can take us away from them." He clasped Link's hand, and all five of them gave him firm looks. "You're our only hope, Link. I'm sorry to put this on your head. Nobody deserves that, least of all you. But I gotta."

"No, this is what I needed. You were right, all of you, to come here." Link said quietly. "I don't know if I would have been able to do it otherwise. To kill them, if my heart wasn't really in it. But now... if this really is the only way, if it's _for_ everybody here, then I think I can." Something that had been missing during his entire stay on Koholint was suddenly back, something integral to everything he was. For the first time, his doubts were gone, replaced by the pure resolve that had led him to defeat Ganon and Majora.

"You can," Marin said simply. "We know you can, all of us. We believe in you."

"That's why I can. Because you do." Link stood, and turned away from the sea, facing the Island and the Egg. "Go back to the villages... no, more than that. Go and find everybody who lives here on Koholint, and tell them to forget their work, their duties, today. Tell them to just do whatever they have that makes them happy, today. Then do the same, yourselves. Before the sun sets today..." He fell silent. He didn't need to say it. They all knew.

"Can do." Tarin patted him on the shoulder. "Link, I'm glad I met you. You're a good man. Don't ever forget that."

"Indeed you are." Richard smiled. "A true hero... I always wanted to meet one. I am glad that now, I finally have, before the end. Go forth, _mon ami._ Our faith is with you."

"I'm no good with this kind of talk." Chef Bear muttered, scratching his head. "But I guess I feel the same way. Good luck, kiddo, even if I don't think you'll need it."

"You're better than I am, Bearsy." Lingo snapped. "I don't do 'nice.' Kick their asses, kid. They deserve it. Then get back to Hyrule. You've got people waiting for you there, or _I'm_ a rooster. Don't disappoint them."

"Well, there is a certain passing resemblance." Tarin chuckled. "Come on, let's go."

"Oh, kind of like you and a pigman?" Lingo retorted as the two of them led Richard and Chef Bear back up the cove, the sounds of their feuding soon fading away.

"He's right, you know," Marin said, standing. "Well, not about dad and pigmen. About people waiting for you. Princess Zelda. She's everything to you, isn't she?"

"Yeah." Link couldn't meet her eyes. "I'm sorry, Marin. Maybe if things had been different, maybe if I wasn't..."

"It's all right," Marin told him softly. "If it was, then none of us would ever escape. It's all right. Just... come here, once. Please." She drew Link into her arms, unprotesting, and kissed him, holding in her tears. The moment seemed to last forever. But it wasn't, and when it passed, she let him go. "I'll be okay, Link. I'll see what the afterlife is like, and then maybe, if it works that way... some day, maybe we'll meet again in another life."

"It does work that way," Link said quietly, no longer caring if she knew. In a way, she deserved to. "It's not bad at all. Kind of like a dream, and then one day, you wake up and start again." He held up his right hand, examining his own wrist, fully conscious of how she would be able to see the Mark of the Triforce that was now glowing golden on it. "I've got some connections up there, so to speak. If you're still around when I stop in next, I'll pull some strings, and make sure your next time's a nice one for you."

"You..." Marin had gone completely white and motionless. "That mark. A hero named Link, who does the impossible. You're _him._"

"Yeah." Link smiled at her. "Guess I was keeping a few things to myself, myself. It's not as much fun as you'd think. I'll see you again some day, I promise. As for today... I'm going to finish this." He started to walk, then paused. "Marin... have a nice day." She said nothing more as he left, walking out of her life for the last time. It hurt, but not nearly as much as he'd been afraid it would. They both knew, and understood. It didn't make it better, it didn't stop the pain, but it made it bearable. That was all he really had a right to ask for.

There were no monsters on most of Koholint, as he crossed the Ukuku prairie to reach Mt. Tamaranch. The reason for that became apparent when he actually drew near enough to the peak to see the staircase that wrapped around the mountain twice before reaching the egg. What looked like every monster left on the island was there, waiting for him, from the top of the stairs to the bottom, in single file. Both the intelligent kind and those that were not all watched him approach in silence until he stood before them, one man against the horde.

"Thanks, guys." Link said after a moment. "I appreciate the warm-up." Before they could respond, move or speak, he leaped forward and decapitated the first moblin instantly, his blade whirling around after to find the throat of the pigman behind him and continuing on to crush the skull of a stalfos. Springing forward over the corpses, Link kept moving before those beyond had realized it was their turn, his boomerang thrown from his hand to kill the flying octorock above even as he stabbed through a chink in a darknut's armor, crushed a lunging rope underfoot with a stomp, and broke the neck of a crow as it swooped at his face.

Dueling a moment with another darknut, he dispatched him and advanced like he was invincible, which he very well may have been. His blade was a streak of light, moving from one foe to the next without ever pausing for even an instant. As the corpses piled up, Link's pace slowed only fractionally, purely out of necessity to kick them out of the way and over the side of the stairs. In less than a minute, he was at the first turn, the rail around the stairs topped by a statue of a moldorm. Link ignored it and kept moving, focusing only on the battle before him.

As he passed the turn, music began to play from his pack, playing without any effort from him. The Full Moon cello pulled itself free, bow dancing across its strings, as it flew into the air and orbited above Link's head, surrounded by a bubble of green light. Accompanied by the Ballad of the Wind Fish in bass, almost like a human voice, Link pressed on. Behind the mountain now, he was behind Koholint for the first time as well, looking down a sheer cliff edge to the ocean far below. A desperate stalfos tried to grapple Link over the edge and was thrown instead, falling for nearly a minute before ending in a splash.

The boomerang in his left hand was used with a brutal efficiency, knocking anything in the sky out of it, even bomber zirros. The rest he fought with sword and shield, plowing on through kill after kill. At the second turn, marked by the bottle statue, the Conch Horn joined in, its brassy tones announcing his arrival as it floated in pink light. Even though he was no longer above the ocean, he was high enough now that shoving them over the edge was as effective as dispatching them with his blade. Sometimes, it was even moreso-a pokey that he would have had to hack at repeatedly was easily toppled, bursting like a rotten fruit on the mountainside far below.

The third turn bore a eye in slime, and the Sea Lily began to ring its part in the Ballad, soaring overhead and glowing orange. Now Link was making his way along the face of Mount Tamaranch, with the majority of Koholint to his right. He spared it no glances, keeping his focus on carving his way through the path of the dead. The monsters, for their part, were beginning to look panicked by how many of their kindred had fallen without even scratching the Hero of Time. Regardless, they continued to press down and bar his path, and Link continued to clear it in the most simple way he knew.

Charging a buzz blob with his shield, he smashed it back onto the point of an iron mask's namesake. The metal faceplate impaled the green glob, and the electricity that gave it its name fried the monster behind the mask. Kicking them both out of his way, Link rounded the fourth turn, past the angler fish statue, and the Surf Harp joined the orchestra. As it played the Ballad in its bubble of blue, Link kept going, ramming a bomb into the helmet of an armos and spiking a poe down into the explosion before shielding himself just in time.

For half an hour Link ascended the stairway, taking one turn after another, and they died and died and died He used every trick he knew, baffling blades and eyes with the mirror shield, tripping the enemies who had feet, and hurling those with arms into the empty void. One by one, the Wind Marimba, Coral Triangle, and Evening Calm joined the Ballad, shining indigo and violet and yellow. Tektites and mimics, armored land squid and bandage-wrapped gibdos, wizzrobes and warriors all fell to his blade in turn.

The eighth turn was only halfway around the mountain, and as he passed the fireball statue, the Thunder Drum rose, glowing red and beating its tune merrily. Only a scant few monsters still remained in Link's path, and were easily dispatched. Still unwounded, only winded, Link walked up the final steps to the Wind Fish's Egg, all eight instruments circling above him as they played their tune. When they reached the end of the Ballad and began again, Link joined in, his Ocarina following along perfectly, and producing white light that surrounded him as well.

Suddenly, the music stopped, the song complete. A moment of absolute stillness passed, and then the front of the gigantic purple-spotted egg burst open, a hole eight feet tall appearing through flying shards of shell. It seemed empty inside, dark and foreboding, but Link knew that it would not be so easy.

"You have decided, then," The owl said, so softly that it took Link a moment to realize he had spoken at all. He hadn't even noticed the bird's arrival-for all he knew, it might have even been there the entire time, perched atop the egg in a ludicrous reversal of the normal size ratio between the two. "Go, then, lad. The time has come. The Wind Fish awaits you, within the egg. But be wary-the Nightmares wait as well."

"I know." Link strode forward without doubt. "I'm ready for them, too." The inside of the Egg, surprisingly-or perhaps not-was divided into rooms. The surface underneath was slightly spongy, but solid enough, while all the walls were dimly patterned with the same spotted pattern as the outside of the shell. The way led only forward, and there was no source of light whatsoever beyond the entrance. Link was forced to use the Fire Rod for momentary flashes of illumination as he moved forward into the Egg.

Beyond the first room, the floor suddenly vanished completely, becoming an abyss. Looking down, Link was able to see that it was only a one-story drop. Dangling from the edge by his hands, he fell, landing with only a little pain. Down there, everything was now blank gray stone. All four cardinal directions stretched off into endless halls, stretching off beyond his vision, and crossed with more and more every few feet. The effect was of an infinite labyrinth with all the walls taken out, leaving only huge square pillars as corners.

Link could see all this, naturally, because light was no longer an issue. The walls, floor and-beyond the hole-ceiling were all threaded with conduits that sprouted from the surfaces, ran along them, and then vanished back in, branching at times. They would have looked like vines, had they not been transparent and filled with rushing, flowing elemental energy that made them resemble _veins_ instead. Through one, nearly invisible wind poured; along another, electricity surged, nearly blinding when seen directly. Fire and water, snow and sand, blood and bones and leaves and life all flowed through their pipelines.

"This is the heart of Koholint Island," Link said slowly, looking around. "It all comes from here. They built this island from raw elemental power, and sustain it by feeding it more of the same. Those fountains are all connected here. If I find the source of them all, I'll find the Wind Fish. And the Nightmares." Reaching into a pocket, he produced a slip of paper, where he'd copied down something he'd found in the Book of Secrets. Instructions. "It's a good thing I found these. I'd have had to go it on pure guesswork otherwise, and that's a good way to get lost forever."

_Round and round, the halls of the heart of the Egg._ That line of text had been followed by a series of arrows that seemed an exercise in futility, which to Link only made it all the more likely that they were authentic. Making a left turn, he proceeded through one room, and repeated this seven more times. The last should have brought him back to his starting point for the second time, but instead, he saw a dead end with yet another pit awaiting him. Dropping down in the same way he had before, Link landed safely at his destination.

There were no more doors. The pit's walls leveled off into a kind of mezzanine that circled the round room at seven feet up, then proceeded to the ceiling. From the top, all eight elemental pipelines emerged, running straight down the walls to meet in the floor, which seemed made of glass. Below it, the veins all connected to the statue of a whale in mid-leap, frozen in gray. It was the Wind Fish, or a representation of it.

As Link looked at it, laughter filled the room, eight separate voices all mocking him in chorus, and the Lords and Ladies arrived.

Greeper was the first. A knife flew out of the darkness as the old man tumbled from above, and Link raised his shield, deflecting it easily. Almost simultaneously, Hoad was on him, fists swinging. The shield bore both blows as well, and Link pressed forward, boots working their magic and shoving the Lord head over heels before he landed. Snatching Greeper's next knife out of the air, Link threw it up at Gie as she dropped down, morningstar swinging. The blade caught her weapon, its chains wrapping around it, leaving her offenseless momentarily.

Moving under her, Link caught Gie's wrist as she fell. Sidestepping another knife, he threw her into Greeper, whirled and slapped Hoad's fists aside with his sword, sparks striking on the armored fists. A massive thump behind him signaled the arrival of Angish, and Link immediately dodged to the right, letting the huge Lord's club nearly strike Hoad instead. As they both recovered from the near miss, Link moved around behind Angish and kicked him forward, toppling him onto Hoad before the fiery Lord could get away.

Morm and Sleel were next, dropping at the same time on opposite sides of Link. Dodging the spear and slapping the rapier aside with his sword, Link advanced on Sleel. Morm followed him, and he used the whirling blade strike to knock them both away, crying out in pain. As soon as he'd finished the move, Link raised his shield to deflect the crossbow bolt from Sliyes, who was remaining above. Deciding that he was having none of that, Link exchanged his sword for his hookshot as Greeper and Gie both returned to the fray.

Deflecting the thrown knife with his shield, Link swept Gie's feet out from under her with a leg sweep, dodged another bolt, and fired the hookshot up at Sliyes. The spearhead caught in the little Lord's shoulder and pulled him down as Hoad rose from under Angish. Hauling Sliyes on the chain even as it retracted like a landed fish, Link slammed him and Hoad together, felling them both. It was then, of course, that Fade made his appearance, but Link was expecting him, and avoided the falling axe easily.

Forcing Fade back with a frenzy of blows from his sword, Link dodged another knife as he turned to see Angish and the twins all advancing on him. Almost casually, he set Greeper's beard aflame with a blast from his fire rod without even looking before bracing the immediate threat. A vertical whirling strike with the aide of the Roc's Feather disarmed Angish, and the flying club smashed Sleel aside before she could even attack. Even without his weapon, of course, the large Lord's strength was a threat, but Link parried a thrust from Morm and punched him in the throat at the same time as his other fist slammed into Angish's stomach, winding him.

Deflecting another bolt, Link stood firmly, one man against eight monsters coming out ahead. Exchanging glances, the Lords and Ladies all jumped away, the superhuman strength in their legs allowing them to clear the mezzanine behind them and land atop it easily. Spaced evenly apart, surrounding Link on all sides, the eight masters of Koholint Island looked down on him, beaten back but far from fallen.

"Damn, you monster," Hoad said admiringly. "Were you _holding back_ against us this entire time?"

"Don't be ridiculous." Greeper's face was calm, but his eyes were blazing. "It's the power that dwells within him, just as Fade warned us."

"It's unreal," Gie murmured. "Did you see him go? Even all eight of us at once, and he'd probably win in the end."

"The Link is strong," Angish said simply. "He'll crush us, if we don't crush him. Crush or be crushed. That's us. That's him."

"Unbelievable." Morm shook his head. "This is the same wretch we met in Mabe Village only two weeks ago? If I didn't know better, I'd deny even the possibility."

"Believe it," Fade told him flatly. "He might not use the Triforce deliberately like Lord Ganon, but it's not asleep. When he needs it, it responds, whether he asks it to or not."

"I don't doubt it," Sleel agreed. "I'm getting chills. And to think, _I_ almost brought him here, instead of Hoad."

"There's no point in throwing blame around now." Sliyes' glasses reflected light. "His threat is massive. It must be eliminated. That's all that's important, at this stage in the game."

"Are you done?" Link asked, looking from one face to another, sword and shield still ready in hand. "I'm ready whenever you are, all of you. Everything you've done here, to all these people, all of their lives... it ends. Here. Now. And you end with it."

They all laughed again, once more in chorus, and when they spoke, it was in the same fashion, all eight of them speaking the same words at the same time. Even Link was unsettled, as they began to sway from side to side, and the light in the room slowly dimmed. "Everything we've done to the people? Foolish man, everything we've done has been _for_ those people, for _our_ people. To create this world, _our_ world, we made the Wind Fish sleep forever. This island, _our_ island, will last forever. It will never disappear like you desire. We are its masters, we who were born from nightmares, and now, we shall return to Nightmare!"

The conduits that provided the light were dimmed now, the energy flowing through them mixed with the shadow-substance that filled the veins of the Lords and Ladies, who were now indistinct lumps, barely visible at all. Only their eyes, shining bright, identified them. Then, as they fell silent, they truly became what they appeared, blobs of darkness without feature or form. All eight flowed down the walls, man-sized shadow slimes, and merged before Link into a massive glob of black sludge that sat still for a moment, then hopped towards him.

"This is your last resort?" Link asked skeptically, slicing at it with his sword and getting no reaction. The blade parted the blob, but the wound closed immediately, and he was forced to jump back to avoid being crushed by its hopping. More strikes proved equally ineffective, causing him to raise an eyebrow. "No. Even if this isn't as stupid as it looks, you're better than this. Multiple rounds, huh? All right, I can work with that."

The blob could only try to crush him sluggishly. Link was able to stay ahead of it without much effort, cycling through all his weapons in turn to try and find one that worked. Unfortunately, this proved problematic. The blob absorbed the Fire Rod's magic, swallowed arrows, ignored bombs, and brushed off the hookshot. Unwilling to try his boomerang in case the blob ate it, Link desperately tossed a handful of magic powder onto it, half as a gag.

To his surprise, it worked. The glowing dust froze the blob in its tracks, and its surface began bubbling wildly. After a moment, the reaction subsided and it continued chasing Link, but another dash of powder stunned it again, the apparent chemical reaction even greater this time. More magic powder only increased the effect further.

"He's got this one figured out!" Sliyes' voice came from the blob. "We'll have to try something else! It's still too long until we merge completely!"

"No sweat," Fade replied confidently. "I've got a _great_ idea. Saw this one in his dreams! Let's give it a go!" The blob jumped away from Link, then began shaping up, taking a humanoid form. Short and squat, its eyes glowed, but the rest of its body was still inky black. Its only distinctive features were long, thin arms with spindly fingers that it raised above its head, and began waving. Between them, a sphere of magic formed, then launched at Link.

"Agahnim," Link hissed, then threw himself aside, having recognized the attack too late to do anything else. The former Sage of Forest from Hyrule had been a good, wise man before being corrupted by evil due to Ganon, one of the greatest tragedies of Link's first adventure. His whereabouts were unknown, but his loss still hurt everybody who had known him before. Growling, Link caught the next magic orb on his sword, deflecting it back into the dark wizard's shadow. "And here I thought you assholes couldn't cross any more lines."

"It pays not to underestimate us, fool," Greeper told him smugly as the wizard teleported to Link's left and tried again. Once more, Link deflected the blast back into him. It had been the only way to harm the original Agahnim when they'd fought, due to extenuating circumstances, and Link wagered that this duplicate called up from his memory would behave the same way. Despite the temptation to just hack it apart, he watched its movements carefully, deflecting every attack.

When the alternative methods of attack came, Link was ready. First was a clump of smaller, tiny spheres orbiting each other. If he'd struck them, they would have exploded into shrapnel rather than deflecting, so Link sidestepped them instead. When the wizard tried a bolt of lightning, Link reflected it with his mirror shield instead of his sword. Before long, he was dancing circles around this form with ease as well.

"Screw this, it ain't working!" Hoad yelled. "Useless! Anybody got something better?"

"It was worth a little," Gie disagreed. "It gave _me_ an idea. Get a load of _this!_" The humanoid form swelled, growing taller and wider, packing on massive amounts of muscle. Its head became grotesquely misshapen, with an elongated snout, floppy ears and curved tusks. Ten feet tall, it raised one beefy arm up, and created a double-headed trident.

"Ganon," Link recognized it as well. "You freaks don't have any idea just how out of your league that guy is, or you'd never dare to take his form."

"Be careful, handsome man," Sleel taunted him as the shadow began spinning the trident over its head. In addition to the Forger of Power's firebat-summoning powers, it could throw its weapon through the air with devastating force, controlling it as it spun like an extension of its body. "Keep talking like that, and we might start to think you actually _like_ him. I've heard certain things happen sometimes between men if they're enemies for long enough. As long as they're both attractive, of course."

"That's just wrong on _so_ many levels," Link growled, then fell silent. This was an actual threat, much as he hated to admit it, which meant the time for banter was over. Kicking his pegasus boots into full gear in order to outrun the flying trident, he dodged the firebats as best he could, but several of them still scorched him in passing as they blasted by.

The dark image of Ganon simply stood its ground, allowing the weapon and creatures to chase Link around the room. It took no effort at all to run past it, once he was a safe distance ahead of the trident and the flock, and take a slash at the false Ganon in passing without even slowing down. The empathic weapon and tried to catch him with tricks several times, but Link anticipated them all and stayed ahead of it, slashing at its controller whenever his path took him near enough. Once he was a safe distance from the firebats, even they couldn't catch him again.

"To hell with this!" Morm shouted, as the false Ganon took its weapon back. "I say we do what we did at Turtle Rock, but on a larger scale! That should provide more than enough time to complete the merge!" The humanoid shape collapsed, then stretched, forming a series of insectoid segments. Black as night, with glowing eyes both on its head and on the end of its tail, the moldorm charged Link once again.

_This again?_ Link took a running leap over the beast. With the pegasus boots and roc's feather both, he cleared it easily and took several swings at the weak point before it turned on him, pincer maw snapping. As the tail jerked away from him, he nailed it with the hookshot, pulling himself along after it to continue hacking and slashing. A twist of its tail caught him in the chest, slamming him into a wall, and the head bore down on him, but he pulled himself away by lodging the hookshot in the soft end of the tail once more, pulling himself to it and continuing his attack.

"Good idea, Morm! My turn now!" Gie cried, the moldorm shrinking and twisting into a bottle. Eyes glowed on both it and on the gaseous cloud that emerged, forming the hovering genie. Giggling, it began throwing fireballs at Link as it charged him.

_No screwing around this time._ Link dashed under it, to the bottle, and picked it up. Viciously spiking it into the floor, he caught it as it bounced off and repeated the process. On the third slam, it shattered, as a fireball caught him. Hissing in pain, Link beat the fire out, then dodged the rest and began throwing his boomerang into the hovering genie.

"Well, this does seem to at least be hurting him," Sliyes grudgingly acknowledged as the genie drifted upward, losing its shape as it attached to the ceiling and became an oval mass, glowing eyes where its pupil should have been. "It's as good a way as any!" Instead of waiting for Link to charge the wall, the slime eye dropped immediately, trying to crush Link under its heavy mass. Unfortunately for it, Link anticipated this, and got out of the way before charging into it repeatedly, sword-first, to separate it.

When the eye split into two, one immediately leaped for Link, while the other waited for his dodged before jumping at him. He was still able to avoid being crushed, but it slammed into his side, acid slime burning him for a few moments before he could pull away and avoid the first's followup lunge. From there, he led them around the room, keeping ahead of them and taking a slice whenever he had the chance.

"Me next," Angish growled, the eyes recombining and forming a huge fish with eyes both on the sides of its head and on the dangling lure. Hovering off the ground as if it was swimming in air, the monstrous angler fish charged. "We'll all eat you this time, the Link!" Link responded with the fire rod, and the beast jerked back, howling in pain. Recovering, it charged again, and a second time, Link gave it pause with a magical blast of flames. Again and again, it tried and failed to get near him, unable to overcome its flinch reflex. Even when it roared and smashed the wall, Link shrugged off the chunk of shell that struck his shoulder and kept firing.

"This is getting nowhere!" Sleel declared, lengthening the fish into her own shape. "And I'm not going to miss my turn! Come to me, handsome man!" The slime eel was unable to barge through floor and walls here, but that proved no impediment to it. Instead, it began chasing Link around as the moldorm had, maw gaping and tail swinging. Rather than try to circle it, Link took a running leap, not over the beast, but _onto_ its back. Landing behind the weak point, he turned, took hold with his legs, and began to attack.

The slime eel's head thrashed back and forth, but was unable to reach him that close to itself. Of course, the spiked tail was another matter, but by the time it smashed Link off, he had already slashed at the neck segment several times. Regaining his footing before the head could snap him up, he dashed a healthy distance away from it, then repeated the stunt. This time, he was able to dismount before the tail found him.

"Guess this makes it my turn, huh?" Fade asked cockily as the eel melted down, spreading into a flat black mass that covered the entire floor, obscuring the transparancy. "Sure, why not. Gotta do what you gotta do... yeah, right!" Something struck Link in the face, knocking him back on his rear and filling his vision with blackness. "If you've all got a death wish, fine by me, but count me out! I'm gone, boys and girls! Have fun with the end of the world! I'll give you all a splendid funeral, if I remember!"

"You cowardly piece of shit!" Morm screamed, most of the other Lords and Ladies chiming in with wordless shrieks of fury. "225 percent to be safe, my chitinous ass! You were planning to abandon us the entire time!"

"Forget him!" Greeper howled as Link's vision cleared, and he saw that the dark enemy had returned to its shapeless blob form. "We need him no longer! His absence will only speed up our merge! It's almost complete, now!" The blob shrank and became the hunched form of the grim creeper, then something else that he hopped upon. A jet-black owl took to the heavens, wings beating, as both its eyes and that of its rider shone down on Link.

His boomerang initially found its target, but the owl was swift, and dodged many of the following strikes. The winds it summoned up, complete with razor feathers, didn't help Link's accuracy either, even if he was able to protect himself from the assault with his shield. When the wind died down to a momentary lull, he nailed the rider with his hookshot and pulled himself into the air towards them. The owl, of course, attacked with claws and beak, but he ignored that and hurled its rider to the floor with enough force that he bounced.

"Right on, old man!" Hoad roared. "Almost there, and now it's my turn to dance! Let's go!" The owl and the creeper slammed together as if pulled magnetically, merging to form the jet-black fireball, glowing eyes its only feature. It bounced on the floor like the slime had, but at a much faster pace, unable to use lava to its advantage yet still deadly to the touch. Dashing away, Link kept a safe distance at all times, hitting it with the fire rod over and over.

When it jumped fifteen feet into the air, Link was surprised, but didn't stop running. He was, unfortunately, not expecting it to shed its fiery form, becoming the demon head. Specifically, he wasn't expecting that act to scatter fire over the entire floor. Hissing, he doused the flames that had found him, then dashed away from the hopping head and kept firing. That was its only trick, and it could only do it once; after that, it couldn't catch him. _You're not so tough out of your frying pan!_

"Just a few seconds more!" Angish urged them, dropping their combined form out of Hoad's shadow as if he'd heard Link's thoughts. To hear correct grammar in the large Lord's guttural voice was more than a little strange. "Somebody, think of anything else to stall him!" After a moment, the darkness became the elongated, worm-like shape of a lanmola. Unimpressed, Link nailed it in the head with his fire rod as well, and it reared back.

"Okay, this is just getting sad now," Link said scornfully. "A single lanmola? What's next, an armos knight? A darknut captain? A moblin boss? A turtle rockhead? Are you going to go through that entire gamut too? Should take me about two minutes, tops." Despite his taunts, his thoughts were racing. _What the hell? Angish, forming a complete sentence?_

"That will not be necessary," A new voice said coldly. New, yet strangely somehow familiar, as if he'd heard it eons ago, barely on the edge of faded memory. The mass of darkness resolved itself into a human shape, tall and strong but not bulky, muscular yet lean. A hylian male in his mid-twenties, dressed in tunic and hose with a pointed cap on his head and mid-calf boots on his feet. A sword was belted to his waist, next to a bomb bag and pouch of magic powder, and on his back a quiver and pack rested.

Aside from the mocking smile and lack of any color but black, he was like looking into a mirror.

"You," Link said quietly, memories blasting through his mind. _Ruto had gone ahead, and he had to find her, before the monster Ganondorf had left there found her first. But then he'd entered a room where he'd walked on water, reflecting like a mirror. And from that mirror, his own shadow had risen, and fought him with his own moves, his own tricks, his own swordplay._ "From the Water Temple. I never did find out what you were... but I killed you. Dark Link, was it?"

"You did," The thing that had introduced itself as Dark Link, all those centuries ago, agreed. Even its voice was identical to his. "And it was. But Lord Ganondorf took what was left of me, and brought it to the Dark World. Eventually, Mothula took my remains, and rebuilt me. Made me _better._ Before, I was only a puny fear elemental. Now, I am Nightmare itself given form. Dark Link is a thing of the past. Now, I am something more. I am Death L. And you are different as well, Link. To be expected. It's been a very long time, after all."

"It has," Link conceded grudgingly. "I get it now. A fear elemental. Despite your 'changes,' that's still what you are, what you thrive on. Terror and trauma. Everything you do damages all of the people you touch, whether you want to or not. It's like breathing for you. You couldn't stop it if you tried. Even as the Lords and Ladies, even as the 'new you.' I honestly can't tell the difference. And I hope you didn't choose that name yourself."

"And why would I want to stop it?" Death L asked sardonically, ignoring the gibes. "When I divided my consciousness into seven, and then eight, different portions, only one of them was defective, feeling empathy for others aside from itself. That one part, as it turns out, is now absent from my reunited mind and soul. All the better; he might have contaminated me with doubts. The others never saw any other form of life for anything more than what they are to me." His empty eyes stared into Link's. "You're the only one who ever actually caught my interest. It seems the fragment called 'Hoad' remembered that much, subconsciously."

"Because I'm the only one who ever beat you?" Link asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, no," Death L laughed a little. "Nothing that simple. You see, my appearance is subjective, in this form. To put it in layman's terms, I have no shape without a victim. Once I do, I appear to them as whatever it is they fear most, in all the world. So, here we have a man who fights monsters, spirits, and worse before even reaching puberty, and keeps going even worse beyond that point. And yet, though he refuses to admit it, more than anything else, he's scared of himself. Your greatest fear... is _you_."

"Bullshit," Link snapped, and believed it. He _knew_ it was bullshit, but his pulse was racing regardless, for no reason whatsoever, and that aggravated him. "You'll have to try harder than _that_, if you want to get under my skin."  
"As tempting as that suggestion is, I'll have to decline." Death L sighed regretfully. "I've been divided for so long that it feels like my natural state, now. This reconciliation won't last long. Before my consciousness fragments back again, I've got to do what I came back together for in the first place, and assume the new, true form that Mothula gave me." His smile returned as the dark substance in the floor corridors increased, completely overwhelming the elemental magic, as well as the light emitted from it. "Sorry, old friend. This is _my_ island, and this time, we play by _my_ rules."

There was no light, not even the slightest trace. What his enemy was doing, what form he was taking, Link had no idea whatsoever. He could only wait, sword and shield raised, boomerang in his off-hand, for any hint of what was to come, any change that would give him an idea. "Bring it on, freak. Whatever it is, I'm ready for it."

The darkness _moved._ Something huge, twisted and _wrong_ twitched in a dozen places at once, looming over Link. Slowly, ponderously, a single massive, bulging eye opened, the white of it glowing brightly around an iris and pupil like a hole in the world. The flesh, or scales, or whatever made up its exterior, was just as dark, barely illuminated from the glow of the eye. Whatever it was, it curved away from the eye, which seemed to be the only feature on the front of its head or body.

_Obvious weak point._ Link thought grimly, making for the eye. _Can't say I'm impressed-ow._ It had been a trap, he realized far too late. As soon as he'd barreled down on the eye, something had come from the darkness and caught him. It coiled around him now like a snake, boneless and flexible, but with the strength of a steel bar. He chopped at it, but his sword bounced off harmlessly, and a moment later, it pinned his arms to his sides. _Crap. This is bad._ The limb tightened, forcing the breath from his lungs, and kept going from there, inexorably, unstoppably.

"What did we tell you?" The voices of the Lords and Ladies were back, all seven of them speaking in unison once more, echoing through the heart of Koholint. "You challenge us? Pathetic! This is _our_ world, Hero of Time, and _you_ are not part of it! You want to make our island disappear? You have failed! You're the only one who will fade away, here and now! Nothing and no one else! You've _lost_, hero!"

"Bite me..." Link grunted, then screamed as his bones began to crack and break. The Nightmare's grip just kept growing stronger and stronger, more and more force crushing his body to a pulp. He couldn't fight back. He couldn't even move. He could only howl in agony as his arms, legs, and ribs all snapped, one by one, somehow remaining conscious throughout the entire ordeal. Pain that should have forced him into blacking out wracked his body, but still his eyes remained open, staring defiantly into the single orb of the Nightmare.

When it released him, despite his broken body, Link thought for a moment that he had a chance. A moment later, he realized that he had not been dropped, but thrown into the air. As he hung there, moments of weightlessness stretching, he saw the darkness moving again. Moving towards him. Another tentacle was whipping through the air, bringing its titanic power down towards him from above, to smash him flat into the floor, like an ant. _No. No, it can't end like this! Not after everything __that's happened-I can't die like this!_

The tentacle hit Link.

Link hit the floor.

His world went red with blood.

And Link died.

* * *

"No." Link jerked upright, staring around him. He was back on the moon _again_. "I refuse this. This is _not_ what's going to happen to me when I die. I've died, one before. I sure as hell didn't end up _here._ I reject this entirely."

"Still stubborn!" The cheerful voice of the Happy Mask Salesman said, causing Link to jump. The smiling man had been standing behind him. "That's good, that's very good! I'd hoped you would be!"

"Oh, shut up," Link muttered, standing. He didn't feel or show any signs of the horrific state his body had been in when he'd died. There was no stupid tea party setup this time, either. Those were both silver linings, but his mood didn't improve. "Where's Ganondorf? I don't see him around."

"Oh, he took off already." The Salesman shrugged, as if he was helpless. "He said he didn't want to even look at you like that, losing to that pitiful abomination."

"Can't say I blame him. Goddesses, that was just embarrassing." Link shook his head. "So, are you going to let me go on to the afterlife, or what? I get it. I screwed up. I paid for it. Get out of my face, and let me get on with what comes next. I am _so_ not in the mood for your-"

The blow took him on the side of the head, and knocked him sprawling across the grass like he weighed nothing at all.

"That is _quite_ enough of that." The Happy Mask Salesman was standing on the other side of Link in the blink of an eye, moving as unnaturally fast as always. His eyes were open and angry, but that strange little grin remained. "I have nothing to do with you being here, boy. I came to help _explain_ things to you, in order to speed this up. Otherwise you'd have to muddle it all out by yourself. I've learned not to expect gratitude from you, but neither do I wish to be insulted. When _Ganondorf_ behaves more civilized than you, you're in trouble, boy."

"Can't argue with _that._" Link slowly rose, rubbing the side of his head ruefully. "All right. I'm listening."

"Good, good!" The Salesman's cheerfulness returned, and he turned away, making a motion with his hand for Link to follow. "You were right about one thing. This isn't what happens to you when you die, because you're not dead. Not truly. To be accurate, you're exactly halfway between life and death, suspended for the moment."

"Death works weird, on Koholint Island," Link said, remembering out loud. "Even if you die, you don't go on to the afterlife." He frowned. "But I'm not like the other people there. I was still completely alive."

"And why was that?" The Happy Mask Salesman prompted him, as the moon began to fade away into pure white light, surrounding them without feature or form. "Do you remember?"

"The Triforce." Link raised his arm, looking at the emblem on his wrist. It was glowing even more strongly than it had the last time he looked at it. "It's been acting up recently."

"Of course it has." The Salesman nodded quickly, head bobbing around like a puppet's. "Think, Link, think. How _long_ has it been acting up?"

"Since after Hoad." Link narrowed his eyes. "Since I woke up, and was surprised that I didn't die. I was wrong, wasn't I."

"What a coincidence, that the rooster knew exactly when you would be emerging from Turtle Rock, and made it there with the fairy in the few minutes of life you had remaining." The Happy Mask Salesman suddenly froze in place. "No. It didn't happen like that at all. You 'died' there. But because death doesn't work the same way here... something intervened, when you became stuck, and freed you. At a price."

"They were right, then." Link stared at the emblem of the Triforce. "I _have_ been using its power, without wanting to. It's been pouring it into me ever since then, and keeping me from realizing it deliberately."

"You've refused to do so of your own will, after all," The Salesman reminded him. "You've held the Triforce of Courage for two lifetimes now, and you've only used it deliberately what, twice? Once when Ganon was banished to the Dark World, and once when you killed him, both times to turn back time, although in entirely different ways. Zelda only used hers at those exact same moments as well, but the Triforce of Wisdom is more patient. It doesn't mind waiting for the inevitable. Courage, now... that's a different story."

"You're saying that the Triforce is taking matters into its own hands, because it's fed up with not being used," Link guessed, as a new surrounding began to take shape around them. It was a frightening thought. He knew the Triforce had a will, and something resembling consciousness enough to speak when necessary. Until then, however, it had been completely passive, only providing instruction on how to use itself when asked. He'd never even considered the thought of it taking action by itself, and he didn't like the implications.

"Exactly. You didn't even desire immortality, you or Zelda," The Happy Mask Salesman chided him. "You just slipped into death. As if the Triforce was going to release either of you so easily. You were two of its three bearers, and you always will be."

"You're telling me things I already know, now," Link told him, keeping his tone polite. He didn't want another smack. "Mind filling me in on what I _don't_ know, instead? Just as an example, where we are?" They were standing inside a massive, three-sided pyramid, completely hollow. Each of the walls was formed of the Triforce emblem, two triangles with a third stacked atop them, touching at the points so that the empty space formed a fourth, upside down, in the center. The floor, at least, was normal, to Link's relief. Still, it was more than a little foreboding.

"We're where you need to be." The Happy Mask Salesman strolled around the perimeter. "You see, the Triforce of Courage is a bit upset with you as well, for 'dying' again so soon after last time. It's going to want something more out of you, now. Just be glad it's more reasonable than the Triforce of Power. Granted, that one was more difficult, since he really _was_ dead, but it still demanded this on the _first_ revival." He indicated something set in the wall they were passing, hovering in the empty space at Link's eye level, and his blood froze as he saw what it was.

It was the demon-boar face of Ganon, a flat mask with holes for eyes.

"No," Link said forcefully. "I've never done anything like that before, and I'm not going to now."

"Haven't you?" The Salesman looked over his shoulder, eyes wide again. "I said you only used the Triforce twice _intentionally._ There _was_ one other time, before Koholint, but you weren't aware of it, at the time. That fool, Majora, allowed himself to be its pawn for a brief moment, because it thought that would make things more 'interesting.' I'm sure you recall how well _that_ went for the stupid beast. I'm not even sure if it could really be called sentient. Majora, I mean. It certainly wasn't very bright, and really, how sophisticated is crashing the moon into the world? Not at all."

"That wasn't-" Link closed his eyes, trying and failing to block out the memories, of how in his transformed state, he'd gleefully torn the 'God of Destruction' to screaming, whimpering chunks and tatters of still-living wreckage. "That was just a mask, like any other I used then."

"Then what happened to it?" The Happy Mask Salesman pressed as they walked past another mask, this one unfamiliar. A woman's face made from silver, empty eyes beautiful but cruel, with a crown of shining crystal attached above to settle on the wearer's head. "You gave up all your other masks, at the end of that adventure, one way or another. All but those made from the souls of other men, who returned to them in the end. The masks that transformed you, gave you a different body. Four of them. Deku, Goron, Zora... and the fourth. Where did the fourth one go, boy? Whose soul did _it_ return to, when it disappeared?"

"_Who are you?_" Link demanded, more out of a desire to think about, talk about something, anything else than actual frustration.

"Me?" The Salesman giggled a little, creepy and mocking. "I'm a very curious man, who likes to see what happens when things happen. The better question is, who are _you_, boy? Are you Link, commander of the Knights of Hyrule, betrothed of Princess Zelda, agent of the crown, wandering swordsman and adventurer? Or is it _that_ face that is the mask, hiding something else entirely, so deep beneath that you don't even see it yourself?"

"Goddesses, no..." Link whimpered, unable to stop himself from following the Salesman to the center of the last wall. It was like something else was controlling his body, forcing his legs to carry him placidly towards the thing he dreaded. In all likelihood, that was exactly what was happening. "Wait! Just hold on a minute here!"

"It's the only way, I'm afraid," The Happy Mask Salesman tutted, stopping before the third and final mask. A pale, lean warrior with harsh, unsmiling features. His hair was white, under a sky-blue hat, and blood-red facial markings were above and below his eyes, along with blue ones across his brow. Reaching up, the Salesman pulled the mask off of the empty air, then turned and raised it to Link's face. "Look on the bright side. At least it's not Ganon. If you'd both engaged _this_ at the same time... The Great Beast _and_ the Fierce Diety... well, then the Bright Queen would _have_ to join in as well. I doubt you'd have a world _left_ afterwards."

The Triforce had control of even his voice now. Forced into silence, bound and helpless, Link could only watch as the back of the nightmare visage settled onto his head, and his vision through the eyeholes became a bloody red.

"Wake up, Fierce Diety," The Salesman's voice whispered in his ear. "And remember. _Courage._"

_

* * *

Courage._

Link rose.

Link screamed.

"What the _hell?_" All seven Lords and Ladies yelled in unison, but Link was beyond caring. The blood filling his eyes spread over his face, hardening into a mask that covered it. It settled into place with a click, and then from the mask, more blood poured, soaking his entire body and covering it. _Changing_ it. His bones lengthened, his muscles bulged, his skin toughened. Taller, with wider shoulders and stronger limbs, dressed in blue, Link stood. His skin was pale, his hair was white, his eyes whiter still, nothing human in them any more.

His sword was a joke, or would be, in the hands of a mortal. A double-helix, seven-foot longsword whose blade was formed from a single twisted length of metal that doubled back on itself, it glowed with power as Link took it from his back and swung it, still ten feet away from his foe's weak point.

"What are you aiming at, you fool-" The Lords and Ladies mocked, then screamed. The swing had created a blade of light that flew through the air, slamming into the eye. "That does it! You're dead, human!"

_Courage._ Link didn't respond. Speech was unnecessary. His enemy was before him, and that was all he needed to know. Something came down towards him, a mass of darkness meant to wrap around him, crushing his body. He had no shield, but he needed no shield. He braced the attack with his sword alone, raising it above his head, and forcing it back as he advanced, step by step, on the eye of the Nightmare.

"You can't do this!" The Lords and Ladies screamed. "You're dead! We killed you! Why won't you _die?_"

_Courage. Courage. Courage._ Link slipped out from under the tentacle and fired another sword of light at the eye. The other limb came at him low, sweeping across the floor. He hurdled it easily, running and leaping over it like it was a child's rope. Flipping in the air, he landed on his hands and sprang again, throwing out several more light swords in mid-air.

"Stop!" The Lords and Ladies were shouting. "We are the rulers of this island! We are the Children of Nightmares! What are you? _What are you?_"

"Courage," Link said simply, reaching the eye and plunging his sword into it up to the hilt. It sagged like a punctured sack, but he didn't stop there, hacking and slashing at it over and over. Black blood poured out, soaking his arms and then the rest of him, but he didn't even notice, simply continuing to carve into the eye like it was the only thing in the world that mattered. At that moment, it was.

Without even looking, he became conscious of the two tentacles behind him. Despite the horrific damage he was inflicting upon the Nightmare, it was still bringing its own weapons against him, both wrapping towards him in a deadly embrace in one last attempt at killing him. Turning away for a moment, he plunged his sword into the floor behind him, just deep enough that it would stand upright. The tentacles met it, and could not budge it, grinding against and around it like string wrapping a needle. Link, beyond their grasp, turned back to the eye socket and commenced tearing into it with his bare hands, pulling out chunks of gore and digging deeper.

The barrier of flesh broke, and beyond it, in the hollow body of the beast, he found the Lords and Ladies, cowering in terror.

Greeper was the first. Pulling him from the shell, Link snapped the old man's spine over his knee and threw him aside, instantly focusing on Morm. The Lord raised his hands feebly, but Link shoved them aside and crushed his chest, driving his own ribs into his heart and lungs. Sleel, screeching, dove at his face, and Link caught her by the neck, breaking it with a sharp twist. Throwing them both from the shell as well, he turned to Angish, smashing the huge man's jaw up through his skull and into his brain.

Ignoring Gie's pleas for mercy, he tore her head from her body, then grabbed Sliyes by the ankles. Whipping the childish Lord over his head, he smashed his skull against the floor. Finally, only Hoad remained, silent and motionless in the back of the Nightmare. The last Lord's eyes met Link's, full of something he could not place.

"Do it," Hoad whispered. "You abomination."

Pulling his sword out, Link chopped him in half, straight down the middle, and the body of the Nightmare melted away, dissolving into black sludge. Sheathing the blade, he looked around the room. No enemies remained, no foes were left to be felled. He nodded slowly, smiling once without pleasure, but instead with the satisfaction of an unpleasant job finally done, and done well. The mask slipped from his face, disappearing, and his body returned to normal.

Staring around him, Link dropped to his knees and promptly vomited, messy and disgusting. The carnage was indescribable; it was horrifyingly obvious that the Lords and Ladies would not be returning from _these_ deaths. When he was done, Link stood again, not even bothering to wipe his mouth. It made little difference; he was already soaked in far worse things. _I did it. I did this to them. Me. And he asked me why I was afraid of myself. Guess he found out. I sure did._

Weary of mind, body and soul, Link realized that there was light in the room again. It wasn't from the pipelines in the floor, but from the statue of the whale, which was now emitting pure white light. Said pipelines were now dry, all but the one flowing with death. That was some symbolism that Link didn't particularly need, at the moment. Fortunately, something else was happening to distract him. From the statue, a staircase was sprouting, reaching up through the floor and continuing into the ceiling.

Moving automatically, Link climbed the stairs, walking through the ceiling as though it was only an illusion. A dream. Emerging from the back of the Wind Fish's Egg, he continued up the stairs into the sky. It would still be daytime on Koholint behind him, he knew, but as he walked up and away from the island, over the ocean, the sky changed swiftly, becoming starry night. Eventually, the staircase ended, and Link stood at the top, waiting for the owl to arrive. It wasn't long before the bird came, swooping in then hovering before him in a way no real bird could, wings beating.

"Hoot, lad!" The owl greeted him gravely. "No, no. That is no way to address a hero. Link, you have succeeded, for good or for ill. The Children of Nightmares are dead, their grasp on Koholint Island broken, thanks to your wisdom, power and courage. The end of the dream is at hand, after many long years."

_Courage._ Link bit his lip, then spoke. "It's okay. You don't have to pretend with me, any more. I know you're not real. Not even as much as the rest of Koholint. You never were real at all. I figured it out, somehow, when I was in there. The last part of that mural that I never understood-your role in all this. You're not an owl. You're not even sentient. You're like them. A fragment of somebody else's consciousness."

"Indeed I am, hoot," The owl agreed calmly. "I am the only piece of the Wind Fish's mind that remained aware, during this seemingly endless dream. When the Nightmares forced the Wind Fish into its slumber, I was created to guard the dream world, and search for a hero who would awaken the Wind Fish. Now that my goal has been accomplished, there is no reason for me to exist any more. The Children of Nightmares were much more complete than me. I have no sense of self, no actual personality. I will return to the Wind Fish with no regrets."

"Did you know, then?" Link had to ask. "Did you know that it would be me who came and did this?"

"Not initially," The owl explained. "But in time, the thoughts of the Nightmares colored those of the Wind Fish, and the mural was created. When I saw the mark of the Triforce, I knew it then, for the Wind Fish was aware of your conflict with the other two bearers of that power." It hesitated. "You hold the Triforce, Link. You are not it, and it is not you. Who you truly are has much less to do with it than it would have you believe. Follow your own path in life, not the one which it would set for you. Remember that, hoot."

"I'll try." Link closed his eyes. "Right now, I just want to go home."

"Then let it be done." The owl shut its own. "Link, I may not be real, but I am grateful to you. Thank you... and goodbye." It shimmered in the air, like it was made of heat waves, and then it was gone, leaving only the starry sky for a moment. Then, another being was there, one shaped like a whale, but clearly something else. Jewels studded its flesh, and intricate designs were painted on its back and sides. A pair of obviously ornamental wings, broad and white, sat motionless on its back. Opening eyes huge and deep, filled with a vast intelligence, it regarded Link.

"I am the Wind Fish," It spoke, voice booming like an earthquake. "I was the first living creation of the Goddesses when they made this world, alone and eternal. For millenia, I have seen life change and grow, but in recent years, my slumber has been long and deep. In my dreams, an egg appeared, and was surrounded by an island that grew from it like a seed becoming a flower. To humans, it would be splendid indeed, but to one who witnessed the creation of this entire world at the hands of the Goddesses, it seemed but a paltry imitation."

"Why does that not surprise me?" Link said quietly. "They wanted to play Gods and Goddesses, so they tried to do it like the real thing did. To make their world, the same way the real one had been made."

"They did indeed make a world," The Wind Fish conceded. "One with plants, animals, even people. But in the end, their world was only a dream, and it is the nature of dreams to end. When I awaken, Koholint Island will be gone, as if it never existed, for it never truly did. Only in memory will it remain. If you value those who lived here, then remember them always. That memory is one dream that will never fade away." Its voice was not cruel or harsh, but neither did it hold comfort or sympathy, simply stating the way things were, as they would have to be.

"It's time, then," Link realized, taking his ocarina from his pack.

"It is," The Wind Fish agreed. "Come, Link. Let us awaken, together. Play the Instruments of the Sirens. Play the Song of Awakening!"

Raising the ocarina to his lips, Link let the Ballad of the Wind Fish soar through the skies, nine instruments all in synch, and said goodbye in his heart and mind as he felt himself slip away. White light filled his eyes, his thoughts, and everything other part of him, bearing him gently out of the dream and back to the world he knew.

Resignation and determination filling his soul with conflict, Link awakened.

* * *

"It's been a while since we've seen you down here, Lingo," Madame Meowmeow said cheerfully, stroking the flying rooster's head. "Why didn't you tell us this fellow had come back to us? We've all missed him, around here."

"He was helping that young fella out," Lingo explained, mock-wrestling with Bowwow. "Who's a good chain chomp? You're a good chain chomp, yes you are! You know, Link. You've met him, right? Don't think I introduced you."

"Oh, of course," Madame Meowmeow chuckled. "We all owe that young man a great deal. He saved Bowwow there from some moblins, you know."

"Is that a fact?" Lingo patted the chomp on the head. "What do you think, Bowwow? I bet you did all the fighting and let him take the credit, huh?"

"Oh, you." Madame Meowmeow shook her head, amused. "You should visit more often, Lingo. We'd all love to see more of you down here."

"I don't know about that," Lingo slowly said, all too aware that there would be no more visiting Mabe after today. "I don't think my fool of a brother would be all too pleased, for one thing."

"Well, I-" Madame Meowmeow broke off as the chomp puppies hopped out. "Is something wrong, children?"

"I feel strange, mommy," Princess yipped lazily. "Sleepy, like I need to take a nap."

"That's strange," Madame Meowmeow murmured, yawning. "Oh, forgive me, Lingo! I'm just feeling so tired all of a sudden, as well."

"Something in the water, I bet," Lingo muttered half-heartedly, feeling it as well. Bowwow's eyes were already closed, and the rooster was slowly tipping over. "Probably that prince. Never... trust a..." He couldn't finish the sentence, but for some reason, he didn't mind. It was okay, going like this, he decided. He couldn't complain, anyways. That said it all, coming from him.

Strangely cheerful, a feeling he had little experience with, Lingo died.

* * *

"Gerroutofit, you!" Chef Bear roared, chasing the Bunny Brothers from his kitchen. The rabbits had snuck in to swipe a bundle of carrots, and were making their escape, loot clutched tightly in their paws. Waving his ladle, Chef Bear lumbered after them, then watched them tear away off his lawn, leaving him in the dust. "You think you've gotten away with it, huh? Well, guess what! The lot of you get to go without dinner at all tonight! That'll teach you to be clever!" Lowering his paw, he shook his head. _Not funny, old bear. _Nobody's_ getting any dinner tonight. _

Sighing, he turned back to his kitchen. He probably wouldn't have had the heart to uphold the verdict if he'd had to, anyways. They may have been full-grown rabbits, the lot of them, but that didn't stop them from behaving like kids. Sometimes, it seemed like half the population of Animal Village acted like children. As for the other half... well, Lady Christine and Schule Ze Artiste were fairly typical examples.

"Good thing nobody can _have_ kids on Koholint," Chef Bear muttered to himself. "Otherwise, this village would be fifty percent rabbit by now." He paused. "Pretty sure fifty percent means half. Maybe I should call up old man Ulrira and ask him." After thinking it over, he decided against it. The ancient fellow deserved to enjoy his last day in peace, just like anybody else, without young punks calling him up to bother him with questions.

"Look at you, old bear." The chef laughed a little. "Since when are you a young punk, even compared to that geezer? I can't even remember which of us came to this Island first. If that's not a sure sign of old age, I don't know what is." His oven dinged, and he took out its contents, a series of various fruit pies. Taking them outside, he rang the bell. "Anybody who wants pie, come get it while it's hot! Might want to hurry up!"

"What's the rush?" Zed the zora asked, taking a seat and accepting a slice as the tables began to fill up with enthusiastic animals.

"It's a surprise," Chef Bear grunted noncommittally. "Should be along any minute now." He only took a slice himself once everybody else had been served. Despite himself, he smiled as he watched them all eat. They were a bunch of animals, literally, but they were _his_ animals, and despite everything, he was proud of them. He kept eating, reminiscing, as they began to drop, one by one until he was the only one left, feeling the long sleep creep over him. "Huh. Hell of a time for me to suddenly become a prophet."

Surrounded by his family, grumpy yet happy, Chef Bear died.

* * *

"May I make a confession?" Richard asked, taking his shirt off.

"Of course, baby," Crazy Tracy said, patting the bed. "Say whatever you want, as long as you get on here."

"You know I live to serve you, _mon chere_," Richard told her cheerfully. Lying down on the bed, he rested his head on his arms. "Live, and love as well."

"I adore a man who talks foreign to me," Tracy purred, then began her work. Richard still wasn't sure what exactly a masseuse did, but whatever it was, it did wonders for his back. Not to mention, he was always happy to spend time in Tracy's company, whether it was for business or for pleasure. "You were saying something about a confession?"

"Ah, yes," Richard closed his eyes. "Truth be told, I never liked the damn castle in the first place. It was ridiculous to have ninety percent of it meant for one man to live in, and only ten for the servants. Well, two on occasion, but you never stay for long."

"A girl's got to make her own way in the world these days," Tracy explained. "If we're being honest, those servants always gave me the creeps. They weren't even human, and I don't think they liked me very much."

"_Mon chere_, I don't think they liked _me_ very much." Richard laughed ruefully. "And I was supposedly their master. They seemed a little _too_ eager to run me out of the place. Well, they're welcome to it. After all, it gets cold in the winter, and it's always drafty. And don't get me started on when it rains!"

"What about that one time it snowed?" Tracy reminded him. "I don't even remember how many years ago that was, but _everybody_ was surprised. I mean, how often does that happen on a tropical... island...?" Her hands slowed, then stopped. "Oh, wow. For some reason, I'm exhausted all of a sudden. Move over, baby."

"But of course, _mon chere._" Richard rolled over, smiling as she joined him. "It's hardly the first time, no?" The same feeling was creeping steadily over him as well, but he still managed to take her in his arms and pull the covers over them both. After all, even if it was the end of everything, one had to have style.

Relaxed and content in a way he'd never been before coming to Koholint, Richard died.

* * *

"Can't believe that brother of mine," Tarin muttered as he stumped through the Mysterious Woods. "Ah well. Guess I shouldn't be too surprised the antisocial twit never changes. Still, hope he goes back up to the mountains soon... oh, right. Ain't gonna _be_ a soon." Shaking his head, he continued his search, hoping he'd find at least one good mushroom before it happened. Rounding a tree, he came across something else. Company. "Hey, Write! How ya doing?"

"Oh!" Mr. Write jumped, nervous as ever, but smiled awkwardly. "Hello, Tarin. Hunting for mushrooms again? I believe there's a large one right over there."

"Really?" Tarin scampered over to where the younger man was indicating, and soon found the jackpot. "Aw, Din bless ya, buddy! Look at the size of it!" Pulling up the shroom, he examined it carefully, then turned to his friend. "I owe ya, pal! Whatcha doing out here? Been a while since I've seen you this far away from your cabin!"

"I was hoping a more natural surrounding would lead me to inspiration with my poetry," Write admitted. "Unfortunately, my wishes have been dashed so far." He sighed regretfully.

"Poetry?" Tarin blinked. "What's that for? Thought you were more into stories and such. You know, manly writing." It felt a bit strange to be associating any form of writing with the term "manly," but if there was unmanly writing, there logically had to be manly writing, and Tarin knew that poetry was about as unmanly as you could get.

"Well, there's this girl..." Write admitted.

"Ooooooooh." Tarin nodded sagely. That explained it. Romance always did funny things to a man's head, and probably a woman's too, though Tarin wasn't sure on that part. Sitting down next to the other man, he clapped him on the shoulder. "Listen to me, Write. You want to win a girl's heart, flowers are the way to go. Flowers and chocolate, and maybe diamonds as well, though we ain't likely to find any of those around here. Yes siree, flowers and chocolate."

"Do you really think that would work?" Write turned to him eagerly. "You were married once, right, Tarin? I mean, you had to be, to have Marin?"

"That I was, buddy, that I was," Tarin said quietly, thoughts turning back to Plum. He wasn't sure how long it had been since he'd lost her any more, but he still missed her, every day. Taking a bite of the mushroom, he barely even noticed Write falling over next to him. His thoughts were on the past, on the mother of his daughter. He could almost see her, smiling in that same prim yet pleasant manner of hers, with her hand on his wrist, tugging him along.

Smiling to himself, the weight of ages finally slipping from his back, Tarin died.

* * *

It really was a nice day out. She had been honest about that. The sun was shining over just enough white, fluffy clouds to add color to the sky without making it overcast, and the waves were lapping up on the beach, blue water meeting golden sand. Seagulls flew and squawked, the stupid ones occasionally descending to the beach in order to pick fights with washed-up urchins and scuttling crabs before retreating to the sky. Marin watched it all from her log, and decided that despite everything, she had no regrets.

She hadn't moved since Link had left, remaining in her private cove. The beach was free of octorocks and leevers for once, which was rather pleasant. Not that they'd actually been dangerous, but they hadn't been friendly, either. Marin had a good guess about where they'd all gone, but she didn't care. Link could handle them, just like he'd taken care of everything else that had come before. She knew he could.

Thinking about it now, she was a little surprised that she wasn't scared of him. But despite everything, regardless of the revelation of his true identity, somehow she knew that he was still the calm yet intense, cheerful but tough, humorous and serious man she'd fallen in love with. Who he was and what he was were two very different things, and Marin was certain that the former was far more important than the latter.

She was ready for the end, had been ready every since she'd gone to visit Fade for the last time. When he and Link had fought, she'd known what was going to happen in the end. Granted, she hadn't been expecting Greeper, but that had turned out all right in the end, for a given value of 'all right.' After that... it had been difficult, painful even, but it had had to be done. She'd said goodbye to the two most important men in her life, and now she was done, waiting for the long sleep to finally come for her after all the years.

"Goodbye, Fade," Marin told the ocean. She wasn't worried about him; Fade was crafty, and more importantly, he was sane, the only one of his "family" that seemed to be. He wasn't going to be killed by Link futilely. He'd escape, somehow, just like Link did. Both of them would get away-they would be the only ones who did-and that was enough, for Marin. Maybe some day, in another life, she'd meet them both again.

Maybe then, she would be able to return Fade's feelings for her, the feelings that had changed him into something almost human.

"Goodbye, Link," Marin told the ocean, that line of thought proceeding along its natural course in her mind. After a moment, she spoke again. "I love you." That was all that needed to be said, really. Thinking about it more would just make the pain worse, so she didn't, concentrating only on the sky and the sea. After centuries on Koholint, Marin was very good at putting things out of her mind. She'd practiced it, more than anybody else. On a whim, she sang her favorite song, the Ballad of the Wind Fish, one last time.

As she sang, Marin watched the seagulls fly and screech, and she was happy.

She finished her song.

She closed her eyes.

And Marin died.


	15. Epilogue & Author's Note

_**Epilogue**_

The sky was blue, and so was the sea.

Slowly, Link opened his eyes, feeling the waves gently toss him. He was lying on a a rather ramshackle raft, apparently thrown together from the remnants of a ship, possibly even his own. There was nothing else in sight, save for the sea and the sky, in all directions, aside from the occasional cloud or seagull. The cries of the latter rang in his ear, but aside from that, there was nothing to be heard either.

"You have got to be kidding me," Link muttered, sitting up. "Yeah, I _know_ it was all just a dream, but it wasn't _my_ dream. I am not a space whale, thank you very much." His grumbling trailed off as something cast a shadow over him from above, and he looked up to see the Wind Fish, slowly soaring across the sky. Looking up at it, he smiled a little, closing his eyes. "Okay. Good. That would have been so cliché it wasn't even funny." Looking back up, he cupped his hands over his mouth. "Hey! Which way is land?"

The Wind Fish didn't speak, but it called back all the same, a deep, fluting noise. It turned in the air, towards Link's right, then turned back to its original path, slowly making its way through the clouds.

"Guess that's all the answer I'm going to get." Link said after a moment. "Well, it'll do. The adventure's over. I'm done." He frowned. "Almost done. One last loose end to tie up." Pulling his sword out, he looked at his own reflection in it, and grunted as he saw that his eyes were jet-black. "Thought so. I know you're there, Fade. We're clear. Now get the hell out."

"Heh." The Lord's voice seemed to come from inside his own head. "Should have known you'd figure it out fast, dummy." His vision went black for a moment, and then Fade's shadow was there, next to him on the raft. "Before you start yelling, I didn't even do anything. I was on board because it was the only way out, that's all. You were the only one who could get off of Koholint alive, so I hitched a ride. Nothing personal."

"Nice try," Link said, glaring at him. "I don't think so. I've noticed that by some amazing coincidence, I only had issues with that stupid Happy Mask Salesman when you were around. I'm still not entirely sure what exactly you _did_ with my Ocarina there, but whatever it was, I don't like it. When Dark Link split up, you got the largest share of your original form's memories. Put that together with how smart you are, and I think you knew exactly what was going to happen, enough to tell Marin about it. For all I know, maybe you even tried intentionally to help it all along."

"Maybe." Fade shrugged, looking up at the Wind Fish. It took Link a moment to be able to respond coherently to that.

"What do you mean, _maybe?_"

"Look, dummy, you can't have it both ways," Fade's shadow turned to him again. "Either I'm the only one of them who's decent and I set this entire thing up to set Marin free the only way I could because I was in love with her, or I'm a lazy coward who acts like an okay guy in order to manipulate people. It's one or the other, and I'm sure as hell not going to tell you. Make up your mind whether you think I'm a good guy or a bad guy on your own time. I'm sick of all of this. Like you said, we're clear. It's done."

"You're a real piece of work, you know that?" Link asked, shaking his head. "What makes you think I won't kill you, just to be safe?"

"Two reasons," Fade answered calmly. "One, because if you did, you'd be the only one who remembered Koholint Island ever existed. I don't think that big sucker up there really counts. Once you got old and died, nobody would. I don't think you'd want that. And two, because whether I'm good or bad, Marin wouldn't want you to, either way. Call me what you want, but _don't_ try and tell me that girl didn't care about me. You owe her that much, and you know it."

"Maybe," Link repeated quietly. "All right, say I let you live. What are you going to do now, then?"

"Me?" Fade chuckled a little. "Get the hell out of here. I'm heading _way_ far away from this entire mess. From you, from Zelda, and especially from Ganon. I got lucky enough to live through one coach wreck involving you. I'm not gonna push my luck. If I have my way, you'll never see my face again no matter how many times you reincarnate. I'm done."

"Heh." Link closed his eyes. "You saw all that too, then. After I 'died,' so to speak."

"Not _all_ of it." Fade clarified. "But some, yeah. Enough to know that if I ever see some wierdo selling masks, I'd better run for my life. As for what I saw about you, your girlfriend, and my ex-boss... I don't really know if there's _anywhere_ on this world that's far enough away from you to not get caught up in what's likely to happen way at the end of the line, when more than one of you gets real at the same time. But I'm going to do my damn best to find somewhere, all the same."

"Fine," Link said, nodding. "Get out of here, don't ever let me see your face again, and we've got a deal."

"Works for me." Fade looked over to the right. "The wind's blowing you to the east, and so's the tide. There's a shoreline just out of sight, with an easy beach. You should be able to make it, no problem. With any luck, there'll be a Hylian embassy somewhere around there. I'll head off the other way. Do us both a favor and cut the hero business off here and now, before things get any worse. You've had enough adventure, dummy. Go back to your home, and your princess. They're waiting for you."

"And what awaits you, Facade?" Link asked, almost whimsically.

"If I'm lucky?" Fade's face shifted, something in the shadow's eyes changing. "The same as everybody else in life. A chance. That's all I've got any right to ask for, after what I've done. So long, dummy. And hey, remember. It's been real." The shadow flickered away, across the waves, and was gone.

"Always gotta have the last word." Link sighed. When he looked up, the Wind Fish had disappeared as well. He was alone on the waves, drifting east, towards land. If nothing else, it gave him time to think. It wasn't like he could have done anything to speed the process along, without oars. Eventually, he washed up on a deserted beach, almost like he had on Koholint. As soon as he'd climbed onto shore, the tide pulled the raft back out to sea, and almost immediately, it vanished completely beneath the waves.

The moment he took the Ocarina of Time from his pack, he sensed that the last traces of its magic had vanished completely. The power within it had been dwindling over the centuries, as with all things of magic, but there had still been a little remaining before Koholint. Now, it was totally gone, leaving the ocarina only a simple instrument, and a rather aged one at that. Raising it to his mouth, he played the Ballad of the Wind Fish one last time as he looked over the waves, back to where Koholint Island once had been, or had not been.

Then he threw the ocarina into the sea, and began making his way towards where he thought the nearest town would be.

* * *

Hyrule's border geography had both advantages and disadvantages. The country was surrounded on all sides by mountains, which were very helpful when it came to repelling unfriendly outside forces, as well as containing the occasional massive force of evil until it could be properly dealt with. The downside was that it made trade extremely difficult, to put it lightly. The current administration, at least, was making efforts to improve on this problem, carving out trails through the mountains that caravan trains could traverse.

It was one of those parties of traders that Link returned to Hyrule with, riding along as a hired sword to protect against bandits and monsters. The work was easy for him, and it kept him busy as they made their way through the mountains. He'd taken a ship to Termina, one of their closest neighbors, before hiring on. In retrospect, that was a mistake. The incident with Majora and the moon had taken place in Termina, and he hadn't particularly needed to revisit _those_ memories considering what had happened only recently.

Regardless, he was finally home. That was what was important. Descending the trail from the east, past the ruins of the Forest Temple, the caravans headed towards Kakariko Town, the main center of habitation in Hyrule. Link collected his pay from the leader and left them when they passed by south of Hyrule Castle, making his way there alone. He hesitated as he passed by Uncle Albert's house, but the old knight would understand. Besides, there was a fair chance he was still passed out from the previous night's drinking anyways.

The first thing he saw was that the R&D branch of the Neo Squid Agency was apparently having a field day out in front of the castle. The drawbridge was down, while black-garbed men and women ran amok over it and the grounds, comparing notes and testing various fantastic-looking devices. The Knights of Hyrule unlucky enough to be on duty were wisely keeping as safe a distance from the rabble as possible while still doing their jobs. Over it all, the Mad Batter presided, a black bow-tie and hat serving as her uniform.

"Less sulfur, you videots!" She was screaming at a couple of them, standing near a blast crater that was previously a rosebed. "Go back to investing in Betamax!" Her head turned completely around, and she spotted Link, flying over to him backwards. "Oh, it's you. I almost buried you. Except you weren't here, so it would have been an empty coffin. Unless I killed somebody and made him look like you, which would have probably taken more effort than it was really worth. Point is, it would have been a very nice funeral, with flowers and everything."

"Sorry to disappoint you, hag." Link walked past her. "Neosquid and Handy around?"

"Yeah, I went down, down to goblin town and let them know you were back in black a moment ago," The Batter said. Before Link could try to figure out how she'd done so while remaining there talking to him, _another_ Mad Batter opened the front doors of the castle to lead her superiors out. The two Shiekah were looking mildly aggravated, possibly at being forced to go outside while the sun was up.

"All right, Mad, where is... he..." Neosquid's voice trailed off as they saw the first Mad Batter. "That's more than slightly disturbing. I don't think I like the implications." After a moment, they turned their gaze on Link and rushed over, vanishing and appearing next to him in the blink of an eye. "Boss! You're back! What the hell happened there, huh? We tried getting an explanation out of Mad when _she_ tore back in, but... yeah."

"Yeah." Link rolled his eyes. The one thing he wasn't looking forward to about returning home was continual association with her-he'd left before they actually hired her, so he'd never actually done it before. Hopefully, they kept her locked up in the dungeon labs most of the time. "It's a _really_ long story. I'll tell it to you guys later, over a couple drinks where you can write down notes and ask questions. There's some things that I want your guesses on. Right now, though, I really just want to see Zelda. She's in, right?"

"Goddesses, what's wrong with us?" Handy groaned, both of them slapping their faces. "Sorry, boss. We should have thought of that first thing. Yeah, she's in the throne room, holding down the fort. His majesty is sick again."

"Shit." Link closed his eyes. "Is it bad this time?" King Lucas was in his seventies, and overweight as well. The question of when the throne would completely pass to his only daughter was on the minds of everybody working with the government, if not the entire country. He and Zelda had wanted to be married before it happened, for a wide variety of reasons, but they'd waited until after his journeys abroad were finished, for a similar number of reasons. Now, he just hoped that he wasn't too late.

"Could be." Neosquid shrugged. "I don't think it's the big one, though. Not yet, anyways. A couple of the other sages are here at the castle, but I think if it was the big one, they'd _all_ be camped out. Anyways, Zelda's keeping things running around here, as usual. She's talking with the Zoran ambassador from Labrynna right now."

"I'll wait until she's done," Link decided, walking past them. "Meet you guys in your office in a couple hours?"

"Yeah." Handy paused. "One thing, boss. What happened to your hair?"

"Like I said... long story." Link brushed at his snow-white locks idly. He hadn't discovered the change until one night at an inn, and there were several reasons he could think of for it, none of which he particularly liked. "Trust me, it wasn't my idea. Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure it's permanent. Think Zelda will mind?"

"She'll just tease you about being a pretty-boy now." Neosquid grinned a little too quickly. "I figure she'll just be glad to see you back, boss."

"Sounds like her." Link admitted. "See you in a few." Entering the castle, he walked through the main hall, stopping outside the doors to the throne room. After a few minutes of waiting there, he changed his plans and made his way around the castle until he crept onto the mezzanine above his destination, hiding behind a curtain and remaining silent. It seemed the audience was concluding; the fishman from Labrynna, a much more pleasant-looking example than the Hyrulian degenerates, was leaving along with his party.

"Until next time, Count," Zelda was saying. Just seeing the Princess, let alone hearing her voice, made Link regret all of the time they'd missed. She was still keeping her honey-colored hair long, but she seemed to have started wearing green dresses instead of her previously favored white. Aside from that, and a few minute stress lines on her face, she looked exactly as she had when he'd departed. Looking up at him, she smiled. "I know you're up there, Link. Come down and greet me like a proper Agent of the Crown, will you?"

"Oh, of course, your highness," Link said, jumping down and landing effortlessly before her before performing a sweeping bow. "Forgive my impertinence." Rising, he looked into her eyes and smiled. "All banter aside, I'm glad I'm home. It's been far too long."

"You've changed," Zelda murmured. "But not too much." Putting her arms around him, she hugged him like a little girl for only a moment, then relaxed and met his eyes again. "Is it true, then? Are you staying this time?"

"It is. I am." Link promised. "I've paid my dues to the future and done my time for fate. Destiny can take care of itself from now on, until next time. There's so, so much I have to tell you about... but yes. I'm home, Zelda. I'm back, and I'll never leave your side again. It's time for our happy ending. I think by now, we've both earned it."

* * *

"Now _this_ looks promising," Fade murmured, solidifying into his human form. He'd arrived on a genuine, one-hundred-percent authentic tropical paradise, by the looks of it. Glancing at a coconut, he snapped his fingers and summoned his axe, then split the nut in two handily. "Boy, is it nice not to have to kill people to do anything any more." Picking up half of the nut, he peeled a piece off the inside and sampled it. "All _right._ Now I just need to find something to drink, maybe a sympathetic girl or two, and I'm all set for a nice long recovery from that whole mess."

A moment later, he was nailed in the back by multiple blasts of magical energy, blowing him off his feet.

"See, I told you I could track him down again!" Vire, the demon who'd caused so much consternation near the end, cackled happily. "Here you go, just like I said! Cold hard rupees only, please! Hey there, pal-it's Fade, right? Glad to see you made it! Sorry about all this-I don't really have anything against you-but I'm getting paid for it, so!" His four companions were looking decidedly less amused by their catch. Fade recognized them all, to a greater or lesser degree, and every one of them made his blood run cold.

"Silence, fool!" Koume, one of the twin witches on broomsticks, snapped. They were identically hideous hags, with bulging eyes, wrinkled olive skin and only a few jutting teeth. The only difference between them was the constantly flowing magic that sprouted from their heads in place of hair; one had a blaze of fire, the other a crystal of ice. "This is not the prize monstrosity we were assured of capturing! This lowly creature isn't even worth our time!"

"Blame the girl!" Kotake, the other witch, urged her. "She's the one who told us that if we tracked her pet project down, its power would be a huge benefit to us! What do you call this, girl? Is this the best you can do after millennia serving _him_?"

"Excuse me, ladies," The third figure said apologetically. Fade had only seen him in Link's memories, but he was clearly recognizable nonetheless. Agahnim, descendant of the Sage of Forest, had traded in his Hyrulian garb for completely concealing purple wrappings that gave him a Gerudoish look, which was appropriate, considering his company. "There is something highly amiss with this being's magical flow. I believe-"

"Silence, pup!" Koume snapped. "The question was directed at your superior, who should at least have the wisdom of age by now, unlike you! We'll ask your advice when you've seen at least a thousand years! Until then, keep your opinions to yourself!" She turned her gaze to the last of them, the one who scared Fade the most, despite the fact that the witches were vastly older and more powerful. "Well, girl?"

"This is not the complete Nightmare," Mothula said slowly. Despite her name, she was actually in the form of a violet butterfly, one with a twenty-foot wingspan. Said wings bore the emblem of the Eyes of Ganon, the Forger of Power's lieutenants in the Dark World, upon their orange-and-red surfaces. "This is only a fragment. An eighth of the whole." She fixed her actual eyes, glowing red with fanaticism, upon her erstwhile creation. "Explain yourself, and quickly. Where is the rest of your consciousness?"

"Hey, mom." Fade slowly stood, raising his hands. "You're about a day too late, I'm afraid. Hero boy wiped the rest of 'me' out. I'm the only bit that got away."

"The Hero of Time!" Both witches hissed, voices seething with hatred.

"Did he know?" Mothula demanded. "Was the destruction of the rest of you intentional, in order to prevent you from being used by us?"

"Look mom, _I_ don't know what you're doing," Fade pleaded. "I thought you were _dead_. The kid's memories sure indicated that you were. Guess I should have looked harder at those parts. The, ah, 'rest of me,' as you put it, had some _serious_ issues. They roped him into what was going on there on purpose, and pretty much got what they deserved in the end. I was the only part smart enough to run for it."

"Fool!" Kotake spat on the ground. "If you believe it was truly a coincidence, you've got no reason to brag about your own intelligence. _Nothing_ is a coincidence, with that one. Even if _he_ didn't know, the Triforce did." She and her sister turned away. "Enough of this! We've wasted too much time as it is."

"So I'm free to go, then?" Fade asked hopefully.

"I think not." Mothula seemed to smile, despite her lack of much of a mouth. "You may still be of use to us. Perhaps with enough study of you, I may be able to discover a way to resurrect the rest of you from the void in time." She glanced at the witches. "With your permission, of course, miladies. Even if I do not succeed, his power is still substantial enough to be a low-ranking member in our... enterprise."

"Do as you wish." Koume rolled her bulging eyes. "So long as you do not waste any _more_ of our time. Catch up whenever you're done, and bring it along if you want to. We're returning. Come, Vire."

"Whatever you say, bosses." Vire saluted lazily, having watched the entire debacle with a look of amusement. "See you around, new guy. Anyways, just so we're clear, I _am_ still going to get paid the full amount, right?"

"Well, welcome to the team," Agahnim said with a shrug as the witches and the demon flew off, arguing with each other. "You may have gathered that we're not exactly at the top of the ladder ourselves, Nightmare. Let's be friends, shall we?"

"Better to have them than not, I guess," Fade agreed reluctantly. "The name's Facade. Call me Fade, huh?"

"Perhaps you are wise, after all," Mothula murmured. Her wings seemed to fold in on her, and she transformed, becoming the beautiful Gerudo warrior she had been before her banishment to the Dark World. Despite her humanoid form, her eyes were still as frightening as before. "You may be a pitiful remnant, but you _are_ still my creation, Fade, and I _will_ take very good care of you. Be a good boy, hm?"

"I know when I'm trapped." Fade spread his hands, sighing. "I'm not dumb enough to try and make a run for it, trust me. So let me in on the story, huh? What exactly is this 'enterprise' that's got a crew _this_ motley working together?"  
"Come, come, there's no use playing the fool." Agahnim chuckled. "You're a smart boy, and you already know enough to figure it out rather easily. If you think the five of _us_ are a divisive gathering, wait until you meet everybody _else_. We've got quite a crowd assembled, and we're still just beginning, so we're recruiting." He glanced at Mothula. "How long were we planning on waiting before we got started, again?"

"However long it takes for our enemies to perish," Mothula said, smiling. "I know Link and Zelda. They'll allow themselves to die from natural causes, like last time. As soon as they've perished, we can begin searching for the necessary magic without fear of them discovering our activities. It will likely take many more decades, perhaps even centuries, and they may reincarnate by then, but we can't take the risk of acting while they're still alive. Once they're gone, however... then, we will proceed with our goal. The resurrection of Lord Ganon."

"Why am I not surprised by this?" Fade shook his head. "It's like I keep telling everybody. I just have no luck at all."

_**Author's Note**_

Where to begin? It's starting to get to the point where these little after-the-fact scribblings are starting to seem redundant. Formulaic, even. How much do I really have to say at this point that hasn't already been said? Yet here I am, regardless. Enough self-introspective bullshit, then-this isn't the time or place for such things. I've written this story, and I'm happy with how it turned out. That's what's important, in the end. Everything else is just killing time until the world goes bang. Moving on, then, it's time to proceed to something that's actually worth people's time to read. Namely, feedback to any questions that haven't already been answered.

Sorakage Sama and Rogue both asked if I would be writing any more Zelda, a couple of titles in particular. The answer to that is no, I'm afraid-there's only so long I can keep writing fanfiction before I want to try to get my own work published, for one thing, and I still have several other projects waiting for me. For another, my relationship with the canon timeline is-in what's become a rather distressing trend-less than amiable. Let's just say I'm not in favor of the "split timeline" idea without going into further detail. I try to keep my personal opinions out of this as much as possible.

On that note, Maximus asked about said timeline, or at least my interpretation of it. Specifically, in regards to the Oracle games. As the Epilogue hopefully clarifies, "my timeline" puts those after this one, followed by the two NES games. Wind Waker's Link, then, would be the fifth, and that's the point at which I just decided to not bother with games following that back when I was planning this out. Don't get me wrong, Twilight Princess and further games are still fun, but there's a point when it comes to companies being able to link (sic) plots or, indeed, failing at it that I draw the line.

Maximus _also_ asked about an appearance by Crazy Tracy, along with Red Chaos Mage and Rogue. Apparently, she's an extremely popular extremely minor character. I considered having Link encounter her, but in the end, I was just plain unable to find a point where it felt right to put her in. My fault, most likely, but there you have it. Hopefully, the little cameo I gave her at the end with Richard was better than nothing.

Several people have asked questions about future projects, in one case questioning my choice of Breath Of Fire II. I'm aware that several people have tried this one before, but I've been planning my own interpretation of it for several years now, and I'm rather eager to finally get down to it after waiting this long. On the other hand, suggestions were made for Final Fantasy II and the Golden Sun games. I'm afraid I'll have to pass on the former-as I said above, there's only so much more fanfiction I want to write before going on to original work.

Let's take a moment to get into detail on that, while I'm on the subject. In addition to miscellaneous Mega Man work (check out From The Sidelines, linked in my profile, if you haven't already-I'll hopefully be adding more to that in time), there's two definite projects still to come. One, as mentioned, is Breath Of Fire 2, and the other's a collaborative with a fellow aspiring author that _will_, in fact, be a Final Fantasy, though not FF2. That's all I'm going to be leaking on _that_ particular subject for now, I'm afraid.

In addition, there are two "maybes" that I _might_ tack on after that's all said and done, depending on how my life goes over the next few years. One of those, as a matter of fact, _is_ the first two Golden Sun games, but that one _is_ a maybe, so don't get your hopes up. I'd been meaning to drop that one over the last couple of years, but recently my interest in the games has picked back up again, so I'll call it a possibility for right now. You never know what the future might hold.

Now that the questions are wrapped up, time for the obligatory request for handouts. How'd I do this time, folks? It seems casting the Nightmares as actual characters was well-received, as far as I can tell. How about the rest of it? Likes? Dislikes? Anything in particular stand out, or fall flat? Feedback feeds the machine, the machine in this case being my writing talent-I still think there's room for improvement, and the best way to do that is to hear where it should be directed. I can take criticism, so don't be shy!

Anyways, the next project is _definitely_ going to be Breath Of Fire 2 this time around, although speaking of time, no guarantees on how many months until then-I've learned my lesson about that. After that, well, we'll see. For now, I'm going to go see if the bars are open yet. Before I do, on a final note, thanks as always to a few people I still owe a lot to. Erico, my mentor, without whom none of this would ever have happened (how's today's surprise going, Bardman?). Quill and Masboy, two friends who put up with all the stuff I put out (see you at the usual time, fellas?). And, of course, DS, my ever-loyal (double sic) editor-slash-brother (where's my two bucks?).

Happy Maverick Independence Day, folks. I'll see you on the flip side.

_~Magus523 June 4 2010_


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